The Unforgettable Wolf

by Jane Godman

  When their bodies had finally stopped trembling, he withdrew from her and pulled her into his arms. It occurred to him that it didn’t seem strange to be lying naked in a forest in the middle of the day, but he decided he was delirious. The sex had been so good it had messed with his mind. He ran his hand down Violet’s cheek and realized it was wet with tears.

  “Did I hurt you?” He sat up, studying her face in concern.

  She shook her head, attempting a smile through her tears. “It was amazing.” She seemed to be struggling to find the right words. “It’s just...here, in the forest...this was the right place. This made it even better. Does that make sense?”

  He lay back down again. Yes, it made sense. Perfect sense. For so long, he had kept this side of himself hidden. It was as he had always feared. He was an animal, out of control and subject to primitive lusts. Yet he still didn’t know what he truly was. He was caught between two worlds. A human who wasn’t fully human. A werewolf who could no longer shift. He was whole only when he was wrapped in Violet’s arms.

  * * *

  Violet stretched her body against Nate’s. Half an hour had passed and they had remained in the forest, wrapped in each other’s arms. Although they hadn’t spoken, she knew what was troubling him, and maybe it should have bothered her, as well. The dominance he had shown, the roughness of the sex they had shared, the loss of control they had displayed together had triggered a lust so powerful it had shaken them both to the core. Yes, it was further evidence of who they really were. But Violet was willing to embrace that. To welcome it. There was just one thing that would make it perfect...

  She ran her hand down Nathan’s chest. “I want you again. I need it to be—” She bit her lip, knowing what she wanted, but unsure of how to ask. The bond between them was unbreakable, but would he understand?

  Something flared in the depths of Nate’s eyes. She saw understanding in his expression. Without speaking, he shifted their positions, raising her so she was on her hands and knees. Rearing over her with his chest pressed to her back and the front of his thighs tight against hers, his lips were warm on the shell of her ear. “This?”

  She nodded vigorously as she heard him reaching for a condom. “Yes. God, yes.”

  Nate gripped her hips, tucking her buttocks tight against his pelvis, allowing her to feel how hard he was once again. Violet gave a gasp as the thick length of his cock entered her, stretching her, sliding in deep once more. She tightened around him, shivering as his teeth nipped the back of her neck. His hips began to thrust, driving him deeper inside her, the pleasure so intense she wanted to throw back her head and howl to the treetops.

  Primitive and throaty, his growls demanded her submission as he powered inside her. Violet’s body tightened, spiraling desperately. She arched her back, feeling Nate’s chest hair harsh and abrasive against the sensitive flesh of her back, the powerful muscles of his thighs tensing and relaxing in time with his thrusts. Violet saw stars as her climax ripped through her. She convulsed against him as Nate bit the soft skin between her neck and shoulder. Just painful enough to drive her wild. Nate plunged deep and hard, a deeper growl rumbling from his chest as she felt the heat of his release inside her, the tension of his muscles, the sharp edge of his teeth.

  Violet felt her body shaking, her muscles refusing to hold her up, and Nate lowered her gently to her stomach, easing slowly out of her. Turning her, he held her close to him, wrapping his limbs protectively around her. They lay still, hearts beating in time, both breathing hard and fast.

  After a long time, Violet turned her head to look up at Nate. “I tried to shift and nothing happened. But it triggered something inside me. It triggered this.”

  “You think us having sex in the forest is about your wolf self?”

  “I know it is. I can feel it.” She tried to find the words to explain it rationally. It was difficult, because the whole situation caused her distress. Not the amazing sex with Nate and the lying here in his arms. That part was wonderful. But the fact that she knew—just knew—there was a hidden facet to her being, a side to her she ached to find and couldn’t. That was hurting her, causing a restless, burning longing she needed to assuage. “I couldn’t shift, but something happened inside me, something that made me want it to be different between us. Wanted it here, in the forest, in the open, wilder, rougher, like animals—” she buried her head against his shoulder “—it was amazing, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded, but didn’t speak. Violet tried to interpret what his silence meant. Was he disgusted at what she was suggesting? Was the idea that he had succumbed to her fantasy and had sex with her while she was in the grip of a wolflike frenzy repugnant to him? She knew, more from what he didn’t say than what he did, just how much he had been damaged by his time as a werewolf. She knew, without knowing quite how she knew, that a feral werewolf was different from others. A feral werewolf was the ultimate outcast, a being whose very soul was so damaged there could be no redemption. Hated and feared by humans and werewolves alike. That knowledge gave her an understanding of Nate’s feelings surrounding what happened to him six years ago.

  But there had been redemption for Nate. The man called Cal—the man whose name sparked a tiny flare of recognition deep within her—and the woman called Stella had used their remarkable powers to destroy the feral werewolf inside him and restore him to humanity.

  “Maybe they didn’t destroy all the wolf.” She spoke her thoughts aloud.

  “Pardon?” Nate’s shocked expression scared her. It was as if she had also spoken his thoughts out loud and he was scared of what he was thinking and hearing.

  Violet swallowed hard. This was Nate. How could she possibly be afraid of saying anything to him? “I wonder if, when Cal stabbed you through the heart, what he destroyed was the feral part, but something of the wolf—the untainted part—remained in your body.” There. She had said it. She held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

  He exhaled a long sigh. “That there was wolf left behind in my DNA, you mean? I’ve wondered about that so many times. It would explain a lot about the feelings I get, but I don’t get the urge to shift.” The pain in his voice tugged so hard at the midpoint of Violet’s chest that she wanted to cry out at the unfairness of it all. One night, one random attack. If he had been a minute earlier or a minute later. If Nate had chosen a different route that night. If the feral werewolf had picked a different victim. If. Such a little word with such a huge impact on the lives it shattered.

  Violet wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t know how it works, but perhaps that urge went away with the savageness?”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I think there was some savageness left about the way we had sex. Your wolf definitely appealed to me.”

  Violet breathed a sigh of relief. There was no disgust in his voice. Quite the opposite. There was a definite note of husky appreciation. “So neither of us knows how to shift?” She ran her hand down his chest. “Maybe we need to keep having sex until we find a way?”

  Nate laughed. “Or until we die of exhaustion? Or end up behind bars for public indecency?” He caught hold of her hand as it began to descend lower. “As much as I would like to explore this theory, it’s getting late and I have to be onstage in a few hours.” Violet made a grumbling noise as he pulled her to her feet. “There will be other forests.”

  He didn’t say what they were both thinking. Unless your memory returns.

  * * *

  The concert in Toulouse had been just as successful and exciting as the one in Paris. From there, the tour bus took them to the Mediterranean port of Marseilles. Violet, studying her maps and tour guides, was bemused by the apparent lack of planning.

  “Why are we going to Spain next and then doubling back to get to Italy?”

  Ged, flopping into the seat next to her in the dressing room, looked tired. His big, muscular frame drooped with tiredness that seemed
to match her own. The difference was, Ged could trace the reason for his weariness. He never stopped working. Violet didn’t understand this sudden fatigue that had descended on her and that was getting worse by the day. By the hour, if she was honest.

  “It’s all about timing as well as routes,” Ged explained. “When this tour was planned, Beast weren’t as well-known as they are now. The fame wagon was beginning to roll, but it hadn’t reached the crazy levels we’re seeing now—” His cell phone buzzed, and he made an apologetic face in Violet’s direction. As he listened to whoever was talking, his expression became increasingly thunderous. “Is this some kind of fucking joke?”

  When he ended the call, Ged stared at his phone for several seconds before throwing the offending object against the wall. He glared around the room. Everyone was gathered there in preparation for the afternoon’s rehearsal. All except for one person.

  “Where the hell is Khan?”

  Rick had been lounging near the door, but he sprang to attention at the quick-fire words. “He got here early to try out the microphones. Said something about an echo in Toulouse.”

  “Tell Tiger Boy to get his ass back here in the next two minutes. If he argues, I’ll wring his goddamn neck.”

  For a big man, Rick could move fast when he needed to. He returned just within the allotted timescale with Khan in his wake.

  “This had better be good...” The words died on Khan’s lips as soon as he caught a glimpse of Ged’s face.

  “Sit down, shut up and for once in your life cut the wisecracks and listen.” Ged drew a breath. “All of you listen, because this doesn’t just affect Tiger Boy here. Someone had a hidden camera at the after-party in Paris.” He jabbed a finger at Khan. “There is a graphic video of you and those three groupies that is being auctioned to the highest bidder. I’ve been offered the chance to enter the bidding, but the guy who just called me said the editor of a UK newspaper is prepared to offer stupid amounts of money to get his hands on it. I may not be able to get you off the hook this time.”

  There was a horrified silence. “How much?” Nate was the first one to speak.

  “Millions. I can’t match that. Everything I have has gone into this tour.”

  “And how detailed are the images?” Nate was the only one who seemed able to say anything. Everyone else was standing around looking stunned.

  “Oh, they’re good. Almost professional quality. Whoever did this knew exactly what they were doing. According to the guy who called me, they are clear enough to be featured on a porn site. He even asked me to congratulate you on the impressive size of your dick and commented on your interesting piercing.”

  Khan started to smirk, but Torque clenched a hand on his shoulder and gave a warning shake of his head. “This is not the time, man.”

  “It gets worse,” Ged said, massaging the bridge of his nose. He looked at Nate. “Remember those pictures of you and Violet leaving the Paris Stadium?”

  “What about them?” Nate’s tone was wary as he placed a protective arm around Violet’s shoulders.

  “We thought there was no harm done, right? Violet’s face couldn’t be seen, so she couldn’t be identified. All the press had to go on was her dark hair and her white lace blouse. There was a flurry of interest. A few ‘do you know who Nate Zilar’s new lady is?’ articles, that sort of thing.” Ged turned to glare at Khan. “Thanks to our horny friend here and his inability to keep it in his pants, the press now have pictures of Violet’s face, as well.”

  “How is that my fault?” Khan snarled.

  “Because she was in the background while you were putting on your little performance, and she can be recognized because of her hair and the distinctive blouse she was wearing.”

  “They don’t have Violet’s name,” Nate said.

  “No, but I’m warning you now, it will renew their interest. Violet’s picture will be everywhere if it isn’t already. I give it twenty-four hours before her name gets out there.” Ged shrugged at Violet. “Sorry, sweetheart, it’s time to kiss your anonymity goodbye.”

  Chapter 11

  Violet took up her favorite position at the side of the stage. She had learned that she preferred to be alongside where the action was, rather than watching a concert from a distance. This was where it felt real. She could hear the roar of the crowd, experience the anticipation and energy, feel the thumping beat of the music inside her body. This was where she got the full impact of Khan’s gravelly growl, Diablo’s soaring energy, and Torque and Dev’s amazing partnership. Most of all, this was where she could see and feel up close how amazing and intuitive Nate could be when he got that guitar in his hands.

  Ged had been unable to prevent the sale of Khan’s sex video from the Paris after-party, and the news had been plastered over the world’s press ever since they left Toulouse. Alongside the story of Khan’s indiscretion, the minor story about Violet had achieved a notoriety all its own. Even though her face had hit the headlines, no one had yet come up with a name for Nate Zilar’s beautiful new girlfriend. The mystery had acquired epic proportions. She had become the girl no one knew.

  Where did I come from? Violet had been over and over that question in her mind. I didn’t drop from the sky into that forest seconds before Nate rescued me. So how did I get there? That man at the party, the one called Roko, had known her name. He didn’t just know my name; he knew me. The werewolves who launched that vicious attack had taken him away. What could have happened to Roko since then? How could he not have seen these images of Violet’s face in the press and on the internet? As they hauled him away, they said he had something belonging to their master. She swallowed hard. Was Roko dead? Had those werewolves killed him that night? Even if that was the case, surely he wasn’t the only person who knew who she was? Her memory continued to elude her, and so did the answers to her questions.

  The crowd had reached a point that was close to delirium as the band prepared to go onstage. Nate kissed Violet’s cheek before he dashed into place with his guitar in hand. Khan, always the last to appear before the crowd, observed this and grinned at her. “You won’t have eyes for Nate when I get out there, baby girl. I can just stand still while this place rocks itself to my presence.”

  Violet had Khan’s measure by now. She gave him a friendly shove in the direction of the stage. “Save your voice for the fans and stop wasting it on me.”

  He kissed the tips of his fingers at her. “Get ready for the vocal orgy of your dreams. I’ll be sending some hard-core eargasms your way tonight.”

  He burst onto the stage to a cacophony of screaming. Grabbing the mic stand, he held it like it was an extension of his penis. Violet, who had a good view of the crowd from where she was standing, saw various female undergarments land at his feet. Right at the front a group of three women lifted their T-shirts to show the slogan written in black pen across their breasts: Khan’s Next Foursome. Khan kissed his fingers at them as he screeched out the first lines of the opening number.

  “Totally unrepentant.” Ged came to stand next to Violet, his expression a mix of admiration and annoyance.

  “He wouldn’t be Khan if he worried about what people thought of him,” Violet said. She knew the band members well enough by now to understand their individual personalities.

  They watched in silence for a while. As usual, Beast owned the colossal stadium. Powerful, theatrical and energetic, they also managed to include the massive crowd in every number. Each person at the back of the stadium felt as important as the one on the shoulders of their friend at the front.

  Violet looked past Khan, the performer, at the other members of the band. Diablo created a furnace of energy around him as sweat dripped down his face, while his huge, muscled arms and deft hands wielded the drumsticks with lethal magic. Dev stood statue-still, eyes half-closed, in his own world as he played along to the music in his head. In contrast, Torque was all burning en
ergy. He played like a man possessed, throwing himself around the stage with scissor kicks and gymnastic moves. When he lifted a hand from his guitar and pointed at the side of the stage, mini-explosions went off in perfect timing, making the depths of his curious eyes glow orange with reflected light.

  And then there was Nate, with his perfect, elegant bass lines. Not as still as Dev, nowhere near as wild as Torque. Maybe Violet was biased, but to her, it was Nate’s assured technique that anchored the music in the chaos around him. Her eyes were drawn away from Torque’s pyrotechnics and Khan’s theatricals to Nate, the musician. He held her attention above all the others.

  “Nate’s technique is astonishing.” Ged followed her gaze. “He has incredible musicality, with a style that can be subtle, delicate and sweet or wild, energetic and slamming. He is able to find the right coloring or expressive nuance for every piece we play.” Ged watched Nate for a moment or two. “Most of our biggest hits were written by Nate.”

  “He never told me that.” Violet was surprised.

  “That’s Nate for you. Mr. Modesty. People think the band revolves around Khan because of his showmanship, but each one of them brings an equal measure of talent into the mix.”

  “How did you find them? I mean, Nate said they come from all over the globe.” Violet turned her head to look up at Ged. “You must have searched forever to find a group of people who would fit together so well.”

  Ged’s face was in shadow, so she couldn’t read his expression. “You could say that.”

  The show was nearing its climax when Rick approached Ged, his expression serious. “We’ve got a problem.” He gestured to the crowd.

  Before Rick could elaborate further, Violet watched in horror as five figures who had been plowing their way through to the front of the crowd leaped onto the stage. She gave a horrified gasp of recognition as the men simultaneously shifted into werewolf form. There was no way of knowing for sure if these were the same huge black werewolves that she and Nate had seen at the house in Vermont, but they certainly looked like them. Crouching low at the far edge of the stage, they bared their teeth at the band members.