Flicker (Defying Death Book 1)

by Courtney Houston

  “Good morning, beautiful,” I said, leaning down to kiss her. She held her hand in front of her mouth.

  “Morning breath,” was her answer.

  My answer was to move her hand and kiss her anyways. “Good morning.”

  Her playful giggling was music to my ears. “I love waking up next to you,” she said.

  “It’s a good thing we’re going to be doing it a lot, then,” I told her. “Come on, we need to get ready for work.” I gave her bottom a small slap, and she went into another giggling fit before getting out of bed.

  Work was a surreal experience. I expected we’d keep things private, the way we had been, but Catalina wasn’t having any of that. We walked through the doors, hands clasped together, right into Seline’s view. She afforded us a cursory glance, narrowed in on our joined hands, and went back to the papers she was reading as we entered.

  “Was it worth it?” Cheyenne asked, from her perch on the table.

  Catalina was out of earshot, so I busied myself organizing papers and spoke to Cheyenne in a low voice. “I told you I was leaving. It’s not my fault you didn’t believe me.”

  “Telor, she’s a human, you’re a Guide. What do you honestly expect to happen?”

  “We met with Denny last night,” I told her. Not knowing exactly how much to say. To keep her out of harm’s way, I chose my words carefully “This wasn’t some type of chance encounter. Denny has something to do with this.”

  “Destiny cannot control the dead,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

  “No, no he can’t. But he can control the living,” I said. She gave me a questioning look. I sighed and spelled it out for her. “Denny ordained for me to get shot that night and for Lina to die on the stairs. All in the hopes that I would be the Guide to collect her.”

  “Fate doesn’t take chances like that. This seems like an awful lot of what ifs for Destiny. Especially when he’s used to knowing everything.” She paused for a moment. “Plus, what does he get out of this?”

  Alas, the one question I hoped she wouldn’t ask. “You should go, love.” I grabbed some papers and moved to another table. “Lina is coming.”

  “You’re right, I need to go, but answer my question, or I’ll hang around a whole lot longer and draw more attention than you want.” Cheyenne was a stubborn child. “Better hurry.”

  Calling her bluff was often not wise. She would argue a point until she was blue in the face, even after she knew she was wrong. I looked over my shoulder; Catalina was getting closer but pretty concentrated on the binder in her hands.

  “Soul mates, we’re soul mates.”

  If looks could kill—and if I weren’t already dead—the one Cheyenne shot me would have put me six-feet under. Her whole demeanor changed, her body seemed stiff and unwilling.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away from me and shook her head back and forth.

  “Fine.” Her gaze traveled past me to where Catalina stood. Pure anger poured from her. “I have to go, you’re right.”

  Then she was gone. Cheyenne had never acted like that. She was always a huge ball of sunshine. The only sunshine in my dark world, until Catalina, that was.

  “You look worried, what’s wrong?” Catalina said, suddenly in front of me. Her soft hand cupped my face. “Talk to me.”

  “Just thinking,” I answered, managing a small smile, hoping to quell her worry. I pressed a small kiss to the palm of her hand.

  “Liar.” She smiled. “I have some good news, though.”

  “I love good news.”

  “Jilsey is taking an extra shift at the hospital, and Gavin had to go to Louisville to help his brother, Gideon, move. So, my house will be empty tonight,” she said. Standing on her tiptoes, she grazed her lips against my ear. “Empty.”

  Oh...

  I tried to hide my chuckle with a cough, but she, of course, caught it. “My apartment is always empty.”

  “Stop raining on my parade.”

  “Consider me rained out,” I told her.

  Lina 33

  “So, this is home,” I gestured with a wide sweep of my hand.

  It felt weird to be so excited that he was in my house. It was different from being in his house, or being at work with him, or even him sneaking in through my window. No matter how much I’d touched him or how often his lips had been on mine, it still felt as though maybe he wasn’t real. Like I would wake up one day and realize this was all an elaborate dream. That things lined up to make my mind believe they were real. Now, this felt real. This angel of mine was standing in my living room.

  “I don’t think you got a tour last time,” I said, feeling somehow shy.

  Looping my arm through his, I led him at a leisurely pace through the house, pointing out the rooms and anything special in them that I liked. Our house really was lovely. Something you took for granted, seeing it every day. After finishing downstairs, we headed upstairs.

  “See that painting?” I asked, pointing to a four-foot by three-foot canvas hanging above the hall table. “Jilsey, Gavin, and I painted it the day Gavin and I moved in. There were some old paints in one of the closets, and we found the canvas in Gavin’s room. It was our first official act as roommates.”

  After appraising our masterpiece, he turned his eyes back to me. “You care about them a lot.” He said it as a statement, not a question, but I nodded.

  “They’re my family,” I said simply.

  “Yes, they are.” He pulled me down the hallway, stopping outside my bedroom. “This, I think, is my favorite room on the tour.” His smile turned wicked as he pushed me against the door with his body.

  “Is that so?” I murmured. “That’s funny, because it’s mine, too.”

  Using my semi-trapped hand, I reached for the doorknob, and we both nearly fell through the door laughing like idiots. My laughter died on my lips when he locked the door behind him and faced me. Gone was his humor, replaced with desire.

  I stood completely still as he stalked forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. Telor backed me up until my knees hit my bed. With a not-so-gentle movement, he lowered me to the mattress and followed me down, dragging both of us to the headboard.

  At first, his lips were nothing more than ghosts over my mouth and neck, gentle whispers of movement. Then, he ran his tongue from my collarbone to my neck and ended at my earlobe. Having enough of his torture, I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him fiercely, grazing my tongue across the bottom of his top teeth.

  “God, you drive me crazy,” he growled, braced above me with his arms.

  “Good,” I whispered.

  I slowly undid the buttons on his shirt and slid it down one shoulder at a time. He shrugged it off, resuming his position over me. I was surprised he couldn’t hear my heart pounding or my blood pumping like a steamboat.

  As he continued his leisurely assault on my neck, I fought to retain control of my own body. Try as I might, I couldn’t resist the urge to wiggle beneath where he was positioned between my thighs.

  “I seem to be at a disadvantage,” he said, his wicked smile returning. I quirked an eyebrow at him in question, and he leaned back on his knees. Pulling me with him, he yanked my shirt over my head with one quick motion. As he lay us back down, he kept a vise-like grip around my wrists and pinned them above my head. “That’s better.”

  Even though we were still mostly clothed, I felt exposed. The red and black lace bra I’d found in my drawer at Telor’s house heaved with my unsteady breaths, causing my breasts to almost fall out the top. Telor’s appreciative gaze did nothing to help my nerves.

  “Have I told you how incredibly beautiful you are?” he said. His grip on my wrists was going to drive me crazy. I wanted to run my hands all over his body, lace my fingers through his hair, and pull his mouth to mine. I wiggled again, attempting to free my hands. “Are you afraid?”

  “No,” I answered, though I wasn’t completely sure it was true. Despite my desire and excit
ement, I might have been a little scared.

  Locking both of my tiny wrists in one of his hands, he used the other to torture me further. He glided his hand, the very tips of his fingers, down my body, stopping at the button of my black dress pants. He released my wrists and removed my pants with a hard tug.

  I didn’t waste any time fumbling with his belt. I didn’t get far before he stopped me. When he rolled us so that I straddled his hips, his still-clothed hips, a wave of rejection washed over me. While it wasn’t the first time I had been turned down, it was certainly the only time it actually hurt.

  “You’re angry with me,” Telor said, his voice amused.

  What the fuck was funny? I thought.

  “Nothing is funny, I’m sorry,” he said, stifling a laugh.

  Did I say that out loud?

  “Catalina.” His voice coaxed me to look at him. “I’m not rejecting you, don’t feel that way. I want to take my time with you. I want to know every inch of your body, every piece of your mind and soul. While in my younger days, I’d have had no problem taking you against your desk or even in the hallway.” God, I wish he’d have taken me against my desk. Having sex in my office had always been something I wanted to do. “I’m not that man anymore, and you certainly deserve more than that man could have given you. Okay?”

  Goddammit. Why did he have to put it that way? While my body was still reeling with all the skin-on-skin contact, he stroked my heart in a way that it needed. Falling back against his chest, I slid my lips against his. They opened, automatically inviting my tongue to join his. Being on top gave me the advantage to return his earlier favor, and I worked my way from his neck and down his chest. He stopped me just below his sternum and pulled me back up to his face.

  “You’re killing my self-control, Cariad.” His words were rough and filled with need.

  “I know.” I smiled against his lips. I relished in the evidence of his want under me. “Do you need a shower? A cold one, perhaps?” I giggled as he pushed me off him and turned to his side, wrapping his arms around me.

  Telor 34

  This woman was going to be the end of me. Turning her down was hard to do. I wanted nothing more than to make her mine in every way possible. But I also wanted that emotional connection with her that I’d never had with any other woman. I wanted her to be able to feel my love without saying a word.

  Her front door shut and heavy footfalls sounded on the stairs. I was glad I had locked her bedroom door.

  Someone stopped outside the door and gave a gentle knock. “Lina? Are you home tonight?” Gavin tried the door and sighed at finding it locked, and then made his way down the hall to his room.

  I wished that Gavin didn’t exist. I hated the jealously that he stirred up. I hated that she lived with another man. I hated that he wanted her. Nevertheless, he was important to her, and I would have to find a way to deal with it.

  Unfortunately, for me, I had to go give Cheyenne a break. I gently slipped out of bed, redressed, and then pulled the ring out of my pocket and removed it from the broken chain. Catalina was a sound sleeper, but I was still hesitant as I slid it on her ring finger. It was a little loose, but it fit enough. One day, I would replace it with a wedding ring, but for now, this would do.

  After kissing her forehead, I headed to the window and down the trellis. I smiled a little at the hell I would pay when she found out that I not only left in the middle of the night, but that I had also left the ring with her.

  Shedding my corporeal form was becoming more and more difficult, as was getting it back. There was no precedent for this, which meant no basis for comparison.

  I had planned to have to search for Cheyenne. To my surprise, she was waiting for me as soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk.

  Cheyenne fell in step beside me, and we walked toward our next soul. “I can take this one. You can go do whatever you need to do,” I told her.

  Shaking her head, she said, “It’s a little girl. I think you might scare her.”

  This was an ongoing issue with Cheyenne. When her Guide came for her after her step-dad beat her to death, she almost didn’t go, which would have caused her to turn into an unclaimed—a ghost. According to her, the Guide was ‘scary and rude.’ Ever since she came to me, she has insisted on collecting all the souls of children. She never questioned my aversions when collecting souls, and I allowed her hers.

  “But I’m so handsome,” I said, trying to lighten her mood, which didn’t seem to budge. “What’s wrong, love?”

  “It’s stupid,” she mumbled, and tried to step a little farther away from me.

  Grabbing her arm and stopping her, I said, “If it bothers you, it’s not stupid. Tell me.”

  “I’m used to being the only one you like,” she said in her defiant little tone. “Then she came along and you left and now I don’t have anyone.”

  Small tears streamed down her face. Oh God, I couldn’t believe I’d been so heartless when it came to her. She was absolutely right. Lina came along, and I didn’t give Cheyenne’s feelings as much as a second thought. Wrapping her tightly in my arms, I hugged her closely.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’ve been so careless with your feelings,” I said. “It won’t be for long. You’ll be cycled back through soon. Only a few more months.” Cheyenne’s time as a Guide was coming to an end. Only about ten or eleven months. “Who knows, maybe everything will blow up in my face before then, and you’ll have me back.”

  “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to be sad just to make me happy.” She sniffled. “You’re right, though, it’s not much longer. We better hurry.”

  Cheyenne taking a soul was really something to watch. While I made it a habit to interact with the souls as little as possible after they passed, Cheyenne basically gave them a welcome speech, patted them on the back, and told them it would be okay—even let them cry on her shoulder if needed. Being a Guide was really not the best job for her vivacious energy.

  Once the soul was delivered, we walked in silence until a familiar figure found us in the dark.

  “I’ve asked around,” Denny said, falling in step alongside us. “There are stirrings about a missing Guide and his human companion.”

  This was bad. Very, very bad. “What kind of stirrings?”

  “Where shall I begin; Death’s favorite Guide is consorting with a human; Guide defects from Death for redeemed soul—I could go on and on. By the grace of whatever gods there are, I don’t think any of it has actually gotten back to Tori. We all know that won’t last, so consider this your standby warning. Tori will be coming and soon.”

  “She knows. I can guarantee it.” He didn’t know her like I did. Things like this didn’t happen without someone hoping to gain her favor by whispering gossip and twisted truths into her ear. “She’ll come at us slow and steady so she doesn’t burn herself out. She may be crazy, but she’s not stupid.”

  “I’ll trust your judgment on that end.”

  “What will we do?” I asked. Time; we needed more time to figure this out. “Catalina isn’t safe, Denny. If you think Tori will take me back and leave it at that, you are mistaken. She’ll more than likely leave me behind and take Catalina just to watch me tear myself apart to save her.”

  Many didn’t fear Death, they saw it as another of life’s adventures, and often welcomed their time with open arms. Those people were mistaken. Tori was not something to be conquered, she was the conqueror. Any shred of strength that someone possessed, she fed off it until it became submission.

  “I will do what I can. I’ve attempted to contact Robin to see if she can offer any aid.” Denny sighed, speaking of Tori’s counterpart, Life. “I will also see what I can do about your other problem.” His eyes moved to Cheyenne and back to mine. I nodded my thanks. “Go home to your soul mate, Guide. I’m sure she’s noticed you are missing.”

  “Thank you,” I said, and gave Cheyenne another hug. I headed back to Catalina’s house, planning to pick up muffins and coffee on
my way to make it up to her.

  “Come with me, baby Guide, we have some talking to do,” Denny said, making me smile. He didn’t know what he was in for with Cheyenne.

  On my way back, I pondered something that had been weighing on my mind. Call it paranoia, if you wanted. I knew why Tori would want our souls back. Souls meant power. Death excreted an energy that Tori fed off of. While I was sure Robin would deny it, they liked to compare numbers once in a while and see who had more, a pissing contest of sorts. Death didn’t like losing. Tori’s extra interest in me would only add fuel to her desire to get me back.

  Just as Cheyenne pointed out, we had no idea what Denny gained from this. Were we simply trophies for him to set atop his mantel and admire? Or was there something else?

  When I was alive, reading people was sort of my specialty. Pure intuition, gut instinct. I always knew when to fold and when to go all in. Being a gambler like I was, you had to rely on those instincts. You didn’t have time to think it over, to weigh your options. My gut was telling me to trust Denny, but my mind was telling me to consider it carefully. It wasn’t just a handful of borrowed money that I was playing around with. It was Catalina’s life. I couldn’t afford to be wrong.

  Despite my own uncertainty of where he stood, or rather, where we stood with him, Denny was really the only thing close to an ally we had.

  Lina 35

  “So…you should come over tonight,” I said into my phone hopefully as I walked through the door. I still hadn’t forgiven him entirely for leaving while I was sleeping the other night. I had played on his guilt, and for the past week, he’d barely left my side. Until this afternoon, when he cut out at lunch with a text saying he had something to take care of and would be out the rest of the day.

  “I’m still caught up with the thing from earlier,” he said absently. He was really distracted. I was surprised he heard me at all, let alone responded. A small sliver of insecurity sliced its way into my stomach. “I’ll be around to say goodnight, though, sweetheart.” A cash register ding and a crinkling paper bag muffled his response slightly. “I’ll call you later, okay?”