Freedom to Choose

by Sam LaRose

  “I want to fuck you,” I declared. “I don’t know what we are. Where we stand. What the hell we’re doing here. But, I know I want to fuck you. Only you.”

  “Only me, or only me as far as men go?”

  “Does it matter? I don’t see any women around.”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  “You’re the only person I want to have sex with this badly, Devin.” I forced his hands away so I could kiss him. “It’s been awhile. I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore. Last night proved that for me.”

  “So, you really had sex last night? You weren’t saying that to make me jealous?”

  I nodded, “I did. It was okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  “Yeah. It had a lot of build up to it, but when we actually doing it, the whole time I was thinking what’s going on?”

  “Who were you with?”

  “C’mon, you don’t want to know that.”

  “I do,” he insisted.

  “No, you don’t. You’ll get jealous and then you won’t sleep with me.”

  “Probably.”

  “Fuck me first,” I tempted him. “If you renew my faith in my abilities, I’ll tell you.”

  “Hmm, or you could tell me now, and if I’m not made totally jealous, I’ll let you fuck me instead?”

  “You got that itch to be on the bottom again, huh?”

  “I always have that itch.”

  I nodded, “I had a few drinks with the guys from the cast. I went back to the hotel with Josh Capernelli. He was nice. I thought he was cute. But he wasn’t you.”

  “Did you give him that whole ‘I’m straight’ spiel?”

  I nodded, “Yeah.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m not going to get jealous over some Hollywood hack,” he rolled his eyes. “Hell, I’d probably do Josh Capernelli too. He’s got a nice ass.”

  I laughed, shaking my head, “We’re okay?”

  He nodded, “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Good,” I nodded. I kissed him again, pushing him back into my bed. I got up on the edge of the bed and brought my hands down under his butt to pull him higher on the mattress underneath me. I loved the big queen sized bed. We had much more room to move around than we ever did back in the dorms. I couldn’t get enough of him as I brought my arms around him, pressing close to him. Our arms and legs ended up in a tangle and he pushed over top of me.

  “You got supplies?”

  “Ah, fuck,” I sighed. “I don’t know. Let me check.” I kissed him before pushing him off me again. He watched me cross the room, pulling off my shirt as I started digging through my bed side table. Nothing.

  “I’m gonna go look in the bathroom,” I came back to the bed to kiss him again. “Get naked while I’m gone.”

  I made my way quickly as I could towards the bathroom. I was lucky enough to come across a bottle of lube that I didn’t remember purchasing. I wasn’t going to ask questions about who else would have bought it and for what purpose. I was just thankful that it was there. I searched a bit more for condoms, but came up empty. I pondered over the thought of raiding Mom’s room, but figured she was getting less then I was, so it was unlikely. And besides, the idea of my Mother having condoms, kind of freaked me out.

  “I found some lube,” I threw it across the room towards the bed before wiggling out of my jeans. I took my time, edging onto the bed. I was pleased to see that he had listened to me about the ‘get naked’ bit. “I couldn’t come up with any condoms though.”

  “Well, I’m still clean,” he shrugged.

  “You’re the only guy, well ‘person’ actually, that I’ve ever done it unprotected with in the first place,” I kissed him again.

  “Good to know,” he wrapped his arms around my neck, kissing me again. I didn’t want to take my lips away from his. He felt so good up against me. And his hands felt silky smooth as they trailed down my back.

  “Hmm, I noticed you stopped shaving,” I grinned, running my palm over his pliant cock.

  “Yeah, well, I know you don’t like that bald look. But I couldn’t stop shaving my balls, I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay,” I laughed. I slid down his body to lick him. “It makes it easier to suck on them.”

  He groaned, biting his lip, “And you claim you’re straight?”

  “I’m only gay when I’m with you,” I swore. I loved the way he felt in my mouth. I loved the little noise he made in the back of his throat as I ran my tongue down his entire length before taking him into my mouth. He reached down to pull gently on my hair. I wanted my mouth to be everywhere, taking him in.

  “You feel so good.” He sat up, hugging my shoulders. I looked up and he kissed me. “I missed you so much. You have no idea at all.”

  “I think I can imagine,” I admitted. I slid back up to straddle his hips between my knees. “I missed you too.”

  “Are you just going to tease me, or are you going to fuck me?” He teased. He opened the bottle of lube with a cracking sound and I moaned, flinching a little as the cool liquid fell along our lengths. His hands wrapped around both of us, rubbing them together and coating our warm pricks with the lube. I closed my eyes, pressing my face into his shoulder. I kissed his neck, sucking his skin between my teeth. He groaned, stroking me harder. I always had a little bit of a weakness for frottage.

  “I need you to fuck me,” he hummed. He bit on my ear which incited another groan.

  I spun him around, pushing him down over the foot of the bed. He caught himself with his hands as I knelt down behind him, licking his opening. He gasped, and grabbed for the lube, pushing it towards me.

  “C’mon, we can do that stuff later. I need you now.”

  I hummed, giving his puckered hole a kiss before liberally applying lube to his backside. I stroked my fingers inside of him, making him moan. Unlike in our dorm rooms, neither of us were having any qualms about making noise. There was no one else to hear us. And he moaned so well.

  “Fuck me,” he growled, looking at me over his shoulder.

  I wiped my lubricated hand on the bedspread before positioning myself behind him. I slid in with surprising ease and he moaned even louder.

  “Ahh, you feel so good.” He put his hands on my hips and slowly straightened so we were standing front-to-back. His hands came up and stroked my face. My skin prickled as his fingertips brushed the start of my five o’clock shadow. My arms wrapped around his waist and I pushed softly into him. “How did I go so long without you?”

  “I don’t know,” I kissed his neck. I turned his face to kiss him before forcing my tongue into his mouth. His tongue dueled with mine for a few moments before he sighed contentedly.

  “Okay, you need to move,” he grinned, leaning back against me. His arms wrapped around the back of my neck and I started to thrust into him. “Ahh, faster then that. I’m not made of porcelain.”

  “Really? ‘Cause you’re kind of pale and fragile looking,” I teased.

  “Fuck me as hard as you can,” he requested.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, it’s kind of hard when we’re standing.”

  “Then I’ll do it,” he moved his hips forward and then thrust back. The jerk made me tip and I grabbed his hips again to stay steady.

  “Lean back down and I’ll do it,” I kissed his cheek. “And then I’ll flip you over and it do it that way. Then we can do it on our sides. And any other which-way you want.”

  He grinned, biting his tongue between his teeth. He looked so damn cute. I had the fleeting thought of maybe not being able to be able to hold on in this position long enough to try anything else. He obeyed me quietly though, leaning up on his arms and wiggling his butt at me. I wiped my hands off again before grabbing his hips. I started out slow, but a disgruntled noise from his throat made me move a little faster.

  “C’mon Patrick,” he moaned. “Really pound into me.”

  “Since when are you such a masochist?”

&nb
sp; “I’m not,” he sighed. “I need to feel that you’re right here with me.”

  “And you don’t feel that way now?” I leaned forward to kiss his back before I nodded. “Okay, but if I hurt you, you tell me. Don’t hold it in.”

  He nodded, “Okay.”

  It took me a few seconds to stamp down my apprehension, but I did and it wasn’t a whole lot longer before I was pounding into him as hard and fast as I could. I listened to his moaning and groaning for notes of distress, but never heard any “no” or “stop”, so I kept going.

  “Ah-ah—ah!” he panted loudly. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

  I grinned, “You have such a dirty mouth.” I paused to push him further up onto the bed. I knelt down behind him and pressed my palms into the bed on either side of him. Laying over top of him, I couldn’t push quite as deep, but that was OK. I bucked my hips against him, and he panted some more.

  “I think I’m gonna come!”

  “I haven’t even touched you!”

  “Then flip me over and do it!”

  I stepped away from him long enough to do as he said. He grabbed a pillow to shove under his hips, and I pushed back into him. He tipped his head back, moaning. I kissed his wrists as his hands pressed onto my shoulders. I kissed him roughly, wrapping a hand around him. He let out a cry. A mixture of excitement and arousal. I kissed his chin and then his throat; the source of all those great noises he was making.

  He arched forward as he came, wrapping his arms around my waist. He tightened around me, and I lost myself too when I looked at that pure look on his face. He gasped, laying back, still kind of twitching. I groaned, letting him take over stroking himself while I pulled out, stroking myself. A few last spurts landed on his chest, but mostly I had come inside of him.

  “Sorry,” I apologized. I stretched out over top of him, kissing him softly on the forehead. “I would have pulled out, but you look so fucking sexy and sweet when you orgasm.”

  He grinned, “It’s okay. It feels good. Kind of dirty.”

  “You are dirty,” I kissed him again. Even though we had both been totally emptied, I was already feeling kind of excited again. I slid off to his side, nuzzling his cheek. I couldn’t help but reach down between his legs and stroke a finger inside of his still-loose hole. He moaned, turning to kiss me roughly.

  “You’re gonna make me hard again.”

  “I think we’re done for at least another couple of hours,” I groaned. “But if you can get me up again, I’ll fuck you.”

  He sighed, turning onto his side and pulled me close. He moaned at the adjustment, my fingers still probing inside of him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and kissed me.

  “Patrick?”

  “Devin.”

  “Will you promise me something?”

  “Is this the sex talking?”

  “No,” he hit me in the shoulder. “I’m being serious.”

  I nodded, “Okay, what’s up?”

  “Promise me you’ll never leave me again.” He shook his head. “I mean, if it comes down to it, you can leave me of course, but give me some closure, okay? Don’t just go without explaining anything.”

  “I don’t plan on leaving you, ever.” I wrapped my arms around him, pressing face into his neck. It took him a second, but his arms wrapped around me too. He felt so good in my arms. Better than any girl I’d ever had sex with, and much better than any guy. I suddenly felt kind of sleepy.

  “You fallin’ asleep on me, Patrick?” He stroked his fingertips through my hair. I nodded, releasing a sigh. “Go to sleep then.” He kissed my cheek.

  “You gonna stay here with me?” I asked.

  He nodded, “I told you before, I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

  I nodded, “Okay.”

  I felt his arms tighten around me. For the first time in a while, I felt safe in someone’s arms as I fell asleep.

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  Did you love Freedom to Choose? Then you should read Real Talk by Sam LaRose!

  Zoe greeted him. Although "greeted" probably isn't the correct word for it. She took a stance in the doorway of the living room, her arms crossed over her chest as she surveyed him quietly. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jeans, and stared back at her, haughty without any real threat.

  "So," she broke the silence. "Your parents finally had enough and kicked you out, huh?"

  "They didn't kick me out," Dylan retorted. "I'm welcome back when I'm clean."

  Dylan Montgomery's parents have reached their final straw. Banishment to Tynan, NJ seems like the pits, but is just what the troubled teen needs. It's there that he meets Tyler Norse; lead singer and guitarist for Dark Little Town. As the summer begins to fade, the future looks dim on the relationship from Dylan's perspective, but as far as Tyler's concerned: it's just getting started. The first in a series. Approx. 79,000 words.

  Read more at Sam LaRose’s site.

  About the Author

  Sam is a nonbinary person in rural Wisconsin. They haven't read a novel in over a year, but they've written one every year since 2009 for National Novel Writing Month. They live on a defunct dairy farm with four cats and a dog.

  Read more at Sam LaRose’s site.