Scars Of The Soul

by J J Cobban

  “Got it, Dad,” I smiled.

  “Course you do.” He chuckled before going quiet once more “Look, I don’t need to say this but I’m going to anyway. There’re some real characters out there, sweetheart, be careful and watch out for yourself. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.”

  Now that was out of the norm for Dad. He never let on when something was bothering him. I always knew when something was up with him but that was simply from reading into his behaviour. He never actually admitted to being uneasy about anything. My mouth fell dry and I tried to put his concern down to nothing more than paternal concern.

  “Its fine, Dad.” I assured him “I need to get back to sound check and make sure we’re running on time. I’ll text with an update tomorrow.” I promised.

  “Okay, sweetheart, take care.”

  “You too, old man.” I smiled, trying to convey an easy tone as we hung up. My smile slipped as I looked down at the phone. There was no ignoring the way my gut twisted and cramped painfully at the thought of something more sinister going on. My father had been in this business for years. He had worked with all kinds of crazy fans and media reporters, nothing phased him. Yet with a couple of well worded questions someone had him worrying over Drake’s past? That was something else not sitting right.

  What the hell was my father covering up? Had Drake done something? Was it something illegal?

  I got to my feet and took a deep, steadying breath.

  I failed to believe that Drake had been involved in anything sinister. I just couldn’t imagine him doing anything to hurt another person. Not to the extent where my father needed to cover it up for him. My mind whirled as I jumped down the last couple of steps from the bus. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and pushed the hair out of my face. I made my way back into the building and straight towards the staging area.

  I needed to speak to both bands about what was going on. They needed to know that they should be coming straight to me with any concerns. I had to get a handle on this. Maybe if I started showing competence at being a professional, capable tour manager then Drake would let me in on his secret.

  It was a plan.

  The sound check was winding down by the time I reached the stage and everybody was beginning to bounce with anticipation. I watched as everyone laughed and joked with each other. Even Lacey and Jo seemed to be back to normal as they joked with each other on the stage. Seeing them laughing together was enough to make me feel a bit better about yelling at them earlier. The Ultimate Corruption boys were sitting on the floor in front of the stage, jeering at everybody on stage. It really was like babysitting teenagers sometimes. I felt myself smile as Lacey and Seth threw witty remarks back and forth.

  Now wasn’t the time to bring up the media interest. I didn’t want to ruin the pre-show buzz that everyone was feeling.

  We were back on the bus tonight and heading for our next venue so I could tell everyone tomorrow. It wasn’t like it was anything that could cause any real damage overnight anyway.

  At least, that’s what I thought.

  Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｓｅｖｅｎ

  Ｄｒａｋｅ

  Sweat rolled down my chest as the adrenaline coursed around my body. The grin on my face could have been described as feral, I was like an animal as I smashed the drumsticks onto the smooth, skin of the drum. The music was second nature to me. It was as easy as breathing. I looked around the stage at my bandmates and felt my grin turn almost painful.

  Jo was working the crowd like she always did. Her smooth, melodic voice filled the stadium as she sang her heart out into the microphone. She smiled at the crowd as she sang and danced her way across the stage. As she reached Travis they stood back to back. Jo threw her head back, singing an especially long note as her head rested on the back of Travis’ shoulder. He grinned over his shoulder at her as his fingers moved deliberately and without effort across his bass guitar. Once the note came to an end Jo pushed off of Travis’ back and moved to the other end of the stage. Travis moved towards the edge of the stage and winked flirtatiously at a group of women who looked to be a part of a bachelorette part. The woman wearing a silver ‘Bride-to-be’ banner screamed shamelessly as she jumped around to the music with her friends. Travis turned to me, grinning like the cat that got the goddamn canary, shrugging a shoulder as he continued to play.

  Travis loved women and didn’t really have a ‘type’ as such. If the female was interested, then so was Travis. That being said, Travis had some moral standings. If he knew a woman was spoken for, then she was off limits. He may have flirted with the bride to be from a distance but he had no intention of following up with it. If anything, he’d just given her a funny story to rehash with her girlfriends at a later date.

  The tempo picked up and the sweat trickling over my body seemed to double. I cast a glance to where Jo had stopped singing and just seemed to be dancing and interacting with the crowd. She reached out, brushing hands with the crowd. Lacey moved across the stage with her guitar in hand. I knew her solo was coming up and whenever Lacey had a guitar solo she placed herself beside Travis and the two bounced off of each other’s energy. Travis grinned and mouthed something to Lacey as she reached him. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes playfully. The two of them could have an entire conversation without making a sound. There was a connection there that was rare for two people to have and it was a fucking scary thing to witness sometimes. Lacey stopped in front of Travis, her fingers beginning to smoothly dance over the neck of her guitar. I calmed down on the drums, simply adding some background noise for Lacey while Travis did the same. He played chords every couple of seconds. The crowd went wild as Lacey picked up the pace, her fingers never stuttering as the guitar screamed and howled in her expert hands. Travis dropped down to his knees in front of her, picking up the pace of the bass as well. Her grin doubled in size as she concentrated on hitting the right notes. I glanced to the left, seeing Rissa in a squat with her favourite camera in her grasp. She clicked away, her mouth pressed in a firm line as she focused on getting a good angle on Lacey and Travis playing.

  This was our last song so I knew that Rissa was really trying to cram in as many good shots as she could. We were doing a cover of Nickelback’s song ‘Next Go Round’ which meant Lacey was in the midst of a kickass guitar solo that had her grinning maniacally. Rissa was beaming from behind the camera after obviously getting some mid-solo shots of Lacey.

  Lacey’s solo came to an end as she slid her fingers down the strings of her guitar, making them squeal as I picked up the place for the drums, beating them mercilessly. Jo’s voice joined the instruments as we finished up our encore.

  I took the opportunity to take one final look around the stage, just like I did every time we performed somewhere. Lacey and Travis were laughing with each other as they stood back to back playing their instruments. Jo sang her last note and did one more lap of the stage, starting from one side and moving to the other, shaking the crowd’s hands or giving them high fives. Security moved along with her, just to deter anyone from pulling her down. All three of my bandmates, of my family, were laughing and smiling and having the time of their lives. Even Rissa who had put her camera down at long last was grinning from ear to ear. She had been taking pictures all night. Granted, I was sure Rayne of Glory were easier to take a picture of than her husband’s band. We were a little tamer on stage than Ultimate Corruption, I knew that Rissa had a hell of a time trying to get a picture of Seth and Mikey as they bounced around the stage, barely stopping for anything. They were a notch above Jo as far as interacting with the crowd went.

  I slammed the drumsticks down once more with finality as the lights on the stage cut out abruptly, signalling the end of the show.

  The screaming and cheering started almost instantly. The lights came back on and Lacey and Travis began their nightly routine of throwing the guitar pics they hadn’t used into the crowd. Jo waved and thanked everyone for coming as I moved away from my drum kit. I jumpe
d down from my miniature podium and smiled at the crowd. The cheers sank into my skin as the screams seemed to feed something primal inside of me.

  Being on stage was nothing short of addictive. It made you feel invincible as you stood before a crowd that seemed to do nothing but cheer and adore you. It was enough to wash away any kind of darkness that may have plagued you before you came on stage. It’s like the stage was surrounded in a bubble. Nothing from real life could get to me, I was safe. It was me and the music and that was what I lived for.

  “You’ve been great Shreveport!” Jo screamed into the mic “Thank you and goodnight!”

  We were practically bouncing off the stage to the sound of the cheers. The sound of the crowd echoed around the corridors as we made our way to the green room. Travis threw an arm around Lacey’s shoulders, squeezing her tightly.

  “You know what we need, Pix?” he drawled using his pet name for her.

  Lacey’s body leaned more towards lithe rather than curvaceous. Her long arms and legs could only be described as willowy. Putting her build with her delicate features and short, bobbed hair and it wasn’t hard to imagine her as some sort of mythical fairy being. Her small, slightly upturned nose wrinkled in excitement as she realised what Travis was getting at.

  “Do we have time?” she wrapped an arm around Travis’ waist “I could murder a shot right now!”

  “Pix,” Travis rolled his eyes “There is always time to go out and get drunk and find some willing company for the night.”

  A delicate arm wrapped around my waist, making me turn away from Travis and Lacey’s planning. A pair of blue grey eyes that I’d found comfort in since I was fourteen years old were looking up at me. I draped an arm around Jo’s shoulders and grinned down at her.

  “They planning on making a break for it to a club?” she guessed.

  “Yup.” I made the word pop “They’ll be a mess come tomorrow morning.”

  “Yeah right, Travis doesn’t get hangovers. He’s got this freaky immunity to it.” She laughed “So how’s things with you and Scout?”

  I practically tripped over my own feet at the sudden shift in conversation. I looked back down to her with what I hoped looked like a confused expression.

  “There is no me and Scout.” I pointed.

  “Scout and I.” Jo corrected, “I call bullshit. Seth told me she was looking all flushed and off balance earlier. Then I heard you were waiting for her in the wings. I’m guessing you caused the afore mentioned flushing?”

  I rolled my eyes. There was no way I could lie to Jo, we’d had one secret in our entire relationship and the only reason I hadn’t told Jo about it was because it wasn’t my secret to tell. It was Jez’s. I appreciated she was asking away from our other two bandmates, knowing that I wasn’t a public person. I would never lie to my band but I just wasn’t comfortable baring my soul and showing that kind of vulnerability.

  “We kissed.” I shrugged “We kissed and then she ran off.”

  “Must be losing your touch.” Jo teased “Maybe she ran so she didn’t jump you again? I seriously doubt any straight woman would run from you, D.”

  “Doesn’t matter. She’s our tour manager so it’s probably not smart messing with her. Plus, you know, there’s her father. I don’t wanna test our theories on his involvement with the mob.” Jo laughed at that but sighed heavily and I knew what was coming, “Ah, shit. Is this where you get all emotional on me, Jojo?”

  Jo dropped her arm from my waist and shoved me gently “Shut up. All I was going to say is that earlier on I got into with Lacey when I really had no right. I was messing around with Nico and I didn’t tell a damn soul. I was so wrapped up in what everyone thought that I never stopped to ask myself if it was healthy. I was trying to give advice to Lacey when I had no right. I can offer some insight now though. I snuck around with Nico and it nearly destroyed our relationship. If you like the girl, then put your cards on the table. Maybe she just wants to fuck around with you and the two of you can fuck each other out your systems and move on. You won’t know unless you lay it out.” She shrugged “Or, you just stop messing with each other and keep it strictly professional.”

  I squeezed her tighter to my side. Jo had always been brash and outspoken. Whatever she was thinking, she said. Her confidence was a blessing and a curse at times but lately, she seemed to be wiser beyond her years. For someone so young, she’d learned a lot in her twenty-three years.

  “Thanks, Jojo.” I kissed her temple, “Whatever I decide, you’ll be first to know.” I assured her with a smile.

  “Damn right I will.” She scoffed “I have an idea, D, and you’re not getting to duck out of it.”

  My head dropped back as we reached the green room.

  “We’re hitting the town.” Jo declared as I held the door open for her “Grab a shirt and we are gone!”

  I loved hitting the clubs as much as the next guy and especially after a live show but tonight was different. What Jo had said was settled heavy on my chest. I’d never considered going steady with a girl before. My career didn’t make a relationship easy. Jo and Nico worked because they toured together, they both understood the business. Jace had nearly lost his mind at the thought of leaving Riss behind but again they worked it out. Rissa could do her photography, Jace could play on stage and then they both got to go back to their bus and hang with their little girl. Scout and I were in a totally different situation though. She would be touring with other bands while I may very well be touring across the other side of the country. How in the hell did that make sense? I’d been so sure earlier that I was going to get Scout but now I had no idea what would happen when I did get her. I moved into the green room and straight for the bottles of alcohol sitting on a large table at the back of the room. The room was packed with our various roadies, the lighting and tech experts, some of the security from the show and then both bands. I glanced around and noticed that Jace and Rissa were already gone. I smirked at that, they would probably make it half way to the bus before they were fucking in a cupboard somewhere. I gave it less than a year before Koda had a baby brother or sister.

  “Drake!” I felt myself grin as Seth slapped my back, already half buzzed himself “You hitting the town with us?”

  I looked around as both bands eyed me excitedly “Fuck it. Let’s go.”

  I grabbed a shirt from my rucksack that had been left behind one of the sofas earlier and moved towards the door with everyone else. Seth and Travis were already debating how many women each of them could get tonight while Lacey cried out for shots. It didn’t escape my notice that she’d barely looked at Asher since we came off stage. As if making a point that she didn’t need to be near him all the time. The real confusing part though? Her lack of attention genuinely seemed to both Asher. He was watching her as she threw an arm around Mikey’s shoulders, chanting for shots. It was almost like now that he wasn’t getting the attention from Lacey, he needed it. I felt a pang of protectiveness ebb into my system. Asher and I needed to a have a little talk. If he thought he was going to toy with Lacey like she was some random floozy he had another thing coming.

  Before I could really plan on the chat I was going to have with him, I crashed into the backs of Seth and Travis.

  “Aw, come on!” Seth whined “We just need to blow off steam.”

  I looked over his shoulder and felt my lips tip slightly. Scout was standing in front of the door with her arms crossed and her cell in her hand. She did not look to be in a joking mood. A small part of me wanted to know if her frustration was down to our unfinished business.

  “I’m not your mother, I can’t ground you from hitting the town. What I can tell you, is that I can only stall the bus for a few hours. You can all go out and blow off whatever steam you want but I want everyone’s asses back on the bus by no later than 2am. We need to leave and head for the next stop tonight.” Seth jumped forward, kissing her cheek.

  Scout tried to keep the smile from showing but her lips were twitching at t
he effort “Alright, get going.”

  She stepped aside, watching us all file out with a small smile on her lips. Everyone left and I hung back, needing to say something to her.

  “You not coming, darlin’?” I queried.

  “Eh, no, I have a ton of work to do before tomorrow. I need to go and make sure the drivers have had enough sleep. Then, you know, calls to make.” She was lying through her teeth and I only knew that because she had a tell. Every time she tried to think of an excuse, her hand waved around in a forced casual gesture. Scout was no someone who ‘talked with her hands’. She was used to walking around with her phone or a clipboard in her hands so the fact she was waving her hand around now? Yeah it was a pretty big tell.

  “Darlin’,” I grinned, moving closer to her “No, would have been fine. You don’t want to do something, then you just say no, don’t bullshit me.”

  “Oh.” Her voice was soft as she looked around at the party that was perfectly happy to continue without us “Well, no, I’m not a club kind of girl.”

  “There we go.” I smirked, moving closer to her “Was that so hard?”

  She shook her head as her eyes locked onto my lips. Her nostrils flared with need as her fingers fidgeted down by her side. She wanted me. I wasn’t being arrogant and cocksure, I was simply picking up on her body language. Living with abusive parents taught you at least one thing. You learned to read people, you learned to pick up on their body language. The sooner you did that, the easier it was to avoid them when they came home in a shitty humour.

  “Where did you go?” her voice broke through my slight daze “You got this look in your eyes like you weren’t really here.”

  Looks like I wasn’t the only one good at reading people.

  “Nowhere exciting.” I shrugged “Sure you don’t wanna come with me?”