Between telling Derek and this…I’m at the edge. I don’t need his attitude.
“You don’t have to do this. I’ve done just fine by myself.”
He shakes his head. “I’m going.”
Great. I really could use someone who is pissed off to deal with Keith for the first time in thirteen years—not.
I release a heavy sigh. “Look, I understand you’re upset with me, but it took everything inside of me to tell you about the stupid tape. I’m sorry that you’re so disgusted with me that you can’t look at me, but if this is how it’s going to be, I would’ve rather come alone.”
He doesn’t say anything, he jerks the car into the parking lot of Mrs. McCutchrey’s store. “You think I’m angry with you?”
“You haven’t said a word the entire time. I’m clearly upset about reliving my past and now I have to actually see him. You’re being cold and distant, which is everything you’re not. What the hell am I supposed to think?”
“That I’m on the verge of fucking killing him! That’s what you should think. You should know that the idea of that son of a bitch threatening you would lead me to debate homicide and whether I could endure conjugal visits instead of having you every day and whether Everly could survive it. That’s what you should think. You should know that I’ve always loved you and wanted to protect you and right now”—his voice shakes—“I hate myself for failing you when you needed me.”
The hurt I was feeling dissipates. He isn’t angry at me, he’s angry at Keith. There’s no disgust, just rage at the person who used a situation to get what he wanted. I don’t know that I could love this man any more than I do right now.
“Well, I suggest against those options.” I say it as a joke, but there’s nothing in his eyes that says he sees anything funny about this.
“He threatened you, Teagan! He took away all your power because he didn’t want to part with what? His precious money?”
“I guess.”
“He’s a coward.”
“Yes. He is.”
He takes my hands in his. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you years ago how I felt and then maybe you wouldn’t have dealt with him the way you did. I would’ve protected you or I don’t know…been there! Keith should be castrated for what he did. He gave up his kid and for what? Freedom? And then he comes after you because he’s that much of an asshole? I swear to God, Teagan, I’m going to beat the fuck out of him. And then, I want to punch myself! I’m fucking sorry that I acted like a dick and you thought it was you. It’s not you, baby.”
It’s the first time I’ve felt like what I did wasn’t so horrible.
“You didn’t do anything,” I try to reassure him.
“No. And that’s the problem.”
I’ve spent so much time hating myself for the things I didn’t do when it came to Derek and it seems he’s done the same.
“If we’re going to work…” I say tenderly.
“We are going to work. There is no if in this.”
I smile. “Okay, well, in order to make this work, we have to start really forgiving ourselves for the past. We did what we did, and it sucks that we didn’t have time together, but we have the future. Keith, Meghan, all the things we should’ve done, have to not be things you and I dwell on.”
He nods, releases my hand, and then turns to look out the window. “Do you have any idea why he could be here now?”
The nerves are back and my stomach is in knots. “I don’t and that’s what worries me.”
“Are his parents here?”
“They fly south for the winter.”
He shakes his head.
“I don’t get it.”
Keith hasn’t so much as stepped foot in this town since Chastity was born. His parents go see him. If he did visit, I never heard of it and that would be some pretty stealthy movement. Not to mention, he’s a hero here, so everyone would’ve been talking about the perfect football star returning.
“I don’t either, but there’s only one way to find out.”
He wraps his fingers around mine and we head to the house.
We don’t say anything, but there’s no more anger swirling around us. We’re quiet, almost as though we’re both preparing for all the possibilities. I have no idea what Keith could want. All I know is he has a lot of money and that means he has power. For all I know he woke up today and decided that he wants Chastity.
He could fight me.
He could use the tape to get what he wants. Yes, he signed his rights away, but I have no idea if he can get them back. All of these things going through my mind make me want to scream.
When we get to the door, I feel sick. Derek and I stare at the knocker and I finally bring words to my worst fear. “If he tries to take her…”
“He can’t.”
“We don’t know that.”
The only thing keeping me from losing it is the constant pressure from his hand. He hasn’t let go and I don’t know how I’d do this if he weren’t with me.
“He’s too selfish, Teagan, and if for some reason he does try to take Chastity, no one will allow it.”
God, I hope so. Chastity is my life. She’s everything good in this world and if he were to try to take her from me, I would die.
“Okay. Let’s go get this over with.”
My body is trembling as I turn the handle. He’s here. It’s been so long. I don’t think I can do this.
“I can’t.” I stop and look up at Derek. I’m weak and stupid, but more than that, I’m scared. I don’t want to face him. My parents don’t know anything about the tape and I will never recover from seeing the shame they’ll show.
He shakes his head and cups my face. “You are stronger than any person I’ve ever known. He’s the one who should be afraid.”
“They don’t know, Derek.”
“Who?”
“My parents. They don’t know anything about the details of the custody agreement. They think I forced Keith to give up rights because I wanted her to myself. My mother has constantly reminded me how different my life could’ve been if I weren’t so headstrong. They have no idea of the real reason.”
Derek rests his forehead against mine. “I keep trying to forgive myself for letting you do this alone and then I find out something else. This is another example of how strong you are, Tea. You can do this and we’ll make sure we shield them from that coming out as much as we can, okay?”
God, I hope so. “Okay.”
He opens the door, and we walk through.
So many times I’ve envisioned what would happen when I saw Keith again. Would I slap him? Cry? Knee him in the balls? In all my visions, I never thought I would simply stand here, unable to speak as he sat on the couch in my parents’ house. The same couch that we used to fool around on.
“Teagan.” Keith gets to his feet and walks over. “I…hi.” He looks over to Derek and laughs through his nose. “Hartz.”
“Keith,” Derek says through gritted teeth.
These are the times when I wish karma came around to kick people in the face. I’ve seen Keith on television after a game, but not in a few years. We’ve avoided football Sunday in our house, opting for DIY Network or something less—Keith. Time has been kind to him. He’s tall, broad shoulders, and he isn’t even balding.
Why are the fates so unkind? Couldn’t he at least have a crooked nose or something?
He grins at me as though he can read my mind. “I didn’t know you two were still close, but I’m not surprised, you and Teagan always had a special bond,” he says, as though it’s a compliment, but it’s not. Keith hated Derek. He was always finding some way to cut him down to me and anyone else. As much as Meghan hated me, I assume Keith felt the same toward Derek.
“Yes, we did.” He wraps his arm around me, holding my hip. “It’s good to see you, Keith. What brings you around here?”
My father sits in the room, watching this transpire, and I see the distrust in
his eyes. My father is a stoic man, but when it comes to Chastity, he’s not able to hold back. He is the one person in this town who despises Keith. To Daddy, he’s the worst kind of man. To leave me and Chastity is abhorrent to him, not just because he’s my father, but also because he is a father.
“Yes, Keith, what brings you here after all this time?” Daddy asks from the chair.
Mom comes in the room and freezes. The room is cold with all the testosterone and hatred flowing in the air. She looks to me and I’m still, trying to keep a hold on my emotions. I still have yet to find my voice. What is it about this man that makes me like this?
She clears her throat. “Yes, Keith, you haven’t been here in so long, I’m curious what made you come now?”
My mother’s eyes soften when they meet mine and I could hug her.
Keith faces my father. “My father passed away two days ago in Florida. I had to come to the house ahead of my mother, and I thought if I was back in town it would be best to see Teagan.”
I step out of Derek’s hold and find the courage I know I have to say something. “I’m sorry to hear about your father, but there’s no need to see me. I’m just fine.”
He turns back toward me. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, I’m aware of exactly how long.” I turn to my dad, wanting to get him and my mother out of the room. “Daddy…”
Now that I’ve spoken, I feel like the words won’t be an issue. I’m not the same girl I once was and Keith doesn’t belong here.
Dad gets to his feet and walks over to my mother. “Meredith, let’s give them some time to talk.”
I nod once to my mother, hoping she knows I’m okay.
Once they’re out of the room I stand with my arms over my chest. “Why are you here?”
“I told you.”
“Yeah, that’s fine, but according to you, I was to consider you dead. You look alive and in my parents’ living room, so what do you want?”
Keith shakes his head with a smirk. “I don’t want anything. I didn’t want to see you on the street. I figured you would rather this.”
“I would rather not see you ever again, but thank you for considering me for the first time ever.”
He takes a step closer and I feel Derek move at the same time. “So are the two of you together and raising our daughter like a happy little family?”
“You don’t have a daughter,” I remind him.
His eyes flash to mine. “You know she messages me on Instagram?”
My stomach drops. “What?”
“I get messages from her or someone claiming they’re her and in the last few weeks, they’ve been more frequent.”
The words I thought I had are gone. Chastity is messaging him? Why? She has never had any interest in him. She’s always said she didn’t want to know someone who never cared for her.
“I’m going to assume by the look on your face you didn’t know. Don’t worry, I don’t respond.”
I push the air from my chest and shake my head. “Like that’s better? She is reaching out and you ignore her? How cruel can you be?”
“I’m doing what we agreed on and I don’t actually know it’s her.”
Bullshit. He knows. He had to in some way or he wouldn’t have brought it up.
“No, you’re here, that’s not what we agreed on. You must want something because you always want something.” Derek’s hand rests on my shoulder as my anger grows.
“I’m here for my father’s funeral, not for any other reason. I figured you might want to be aware, and that regarding our kid, maybe you could…”
“What? Keep her away?”
“Yes, actually,” he says with a hint of amusement.
He’s disgusting. More so than I ever thought. “How can you live with yourself? You had a daughter. One that apparently wants to know you and you come here to make sure that what? I protect you from her?”
I ball my fist and wonder if he would press charges if I punch him. Stupid asshole. He didn’t want her and I understand that, but he will never understand what his rejection probably does to her. To reach out to a man who knows you exist and be shunned must break her. Then, she goes to school and is ostracized even more.
My heart is breaking for her. All I want to do is go get her, wrap my arms around my little girl, and love her enough for all of eternity.
“I’m not her father, and I don’t need any issues with the press either, Teagan. I’m doing my best to clean up my image and some illegitimate child from college would ruin that. I’ve worked hard to keep this all behind me.”
I gasp.
What a fucking asshole.
“Keith, maybe it’s best you leave,” Derek suggests.
My throat is tight but I manage to speak through gritted teeth. “Yes, maybe you should go back to hell too, I’m sure the demons miss their leader.” I stand tall, refusing to cower to him.
Keith grips the bridge of his nose. “You are the same as you always were.”
I laugh. “No, I’m much worse. I’m stronger and no longer think you are anything more than a piece of shit and a coward. I’ll keep Chastity from you, that’s her name in case you forgot. My beautiful, smart, funny girl that despite half of her parentage has turned out to be the best thing in the world.”
“Good. I appreciate it.”
“Oh,” I step closer. “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for her because I never want to give you the opportunity to hurt her. Now, get the fuck out of here.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Derek
Present
Teagan has been quiet since seeing Keith last night. I stayed at her house with her, mostly because I didn’t want to leave. Our first night together should’ve gone differently. I would’ve held Teagan for hours, told her how I felt, shown her that my heart was hers.
Instead, her fucking ex that I thought would never be an issue appeared.
“You don’t have to babysit me,” she says as she stirs her coffee, which she’s been staring at for five minutes.
“I didn’t realize I was.”
“I’m saying that I’m fine. Last night was…weird, but I’m okay.”
I don’t believe her, but sure. “I’m here because Keith wasn’t the only thing that happened last night.”
She stops stirring and looks up. “No, it wasn’t.” Her voice is soft. “It was…everything.”
I reach my hand out to her and she does the same.
Sex with Teagan was everything. It was fucking incredible and worth the wait. I want to tell her how I feel and the things I hope she’ll come around to. I don’t want to scare her off. I think she’s had enough in the last twenty-four hours and Teagan overanalyzes everything. I can’t imagine what her head is doing right now.
“The good thing is that Keith will be out of this town in a few days and then I can breathe again.”
“What about the fact that Chastity’s reaching out to him?”
She sighs. “Yeah, that I don’t know what to do about. If I tell her that I know, she’ll be upset and think I snooped on her. On the other hand, she and I…we talk about everything. I thought we didn’t keep secrets.”
Their relationship is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They’re friends to some extent more than mother/daughter. Teagan talks to Chastity about us and I’m trying to get Everly to just talk at all.
“What are you going to tell her about him being here?”
Teagan shrugs while her head falls back. “That he’s here and she should avoid him. I feel like as many times as I imagined how this would go, this went way off course. What if she goes to see him? What if she completely ignores my wishes and then he treats her like shit?”
I’m completely out of my element right now. I don’t know what to tell her because I can’t comprehend what she may feel like. “Chastity trusts you.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. She’s messaging him for fuck’s sake! Why? The man has never once tried to be a part of h
er life.”
“Maybe because it can’t be easy knowing he’s out there and not talking to her?”
I’m just winging it here. I know that it would bug me.
“She and I have the relationship we do because of his absence. We’ve been friends to some extent, relying on each other, and I swear to God, Derek, if him being here takes that away from us…”
I see the worry in her eyes. It brings me to my knees because I would give anything to take it from her. “I really fucking hate him for this. I hate that you’re worried and he’s anywhere near you and Chastity.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“What time is Chastity due home?” I’m not sure what the rules are of me being around when she gets here.
“She knows you were sleeping over.” Teagan smiles.
“So she knows you and I…”
“She knows that you’re the first man to ever be here overnight, so, yeah, I’m sure she’s assuming we had sex.”
I groan. “I have to work with her today.”
“Were you planning to talk to her about what we do?”
“What the…?”
Teagan grins. “I’m kidding. It’ll be fine, she’ll be home soon, you can have that awkward, I just slept with your mother moment and then you two can go back to your weird animal stories.”
I roll my eyes. “They’re not weird.”
“Yeah, the fact that you two talk about changes in poop of the stupid cat, who I still hate, is weird.”
For the first time since her mother’s call interrupted us, I see my Teagan. The girl who smiles, makes fun of me, who can radiate the world by being around because she’s who she is. Her laugh is infectious and I hate that he stole any of that from her.
“It’s important when it comes to the health of an animal.”
She shudders. “It’s strange.”
I lean over the table. “I think you like strange.”
Her smile grows as she inches closer to me. “Do you?”
“I do.”
“And what if it’s not strange I like?”
“Hmm…” Our lips are a breath apart. “What do you like?”
All I Ask Page 22
