She closes the distance. “You.”
“Good answer because I like you.”
I make the final push and press my lips to hers. I’ve wanted to kiss her since we got here last night. But minutes after we got into bed she was asleep on my chest, her hair over my arm, looking so peaceful as I held her. I did kiss her forehead, but that was because I couldn’t stop myself. I want her like that every night. I want to wake up with her next to me. I want to come home from work and see her in that house, making dinner or painting. Any way that I can have her, I will take.
“Gross.” Chastity’s voice cuts through and I quickly move back in my seat. “Can you guys not make out when I’m home.”
Teagan shrugs. “When you pay the rent, you can determine the rules.”
“No, Mom, I work with him and…gross.”
“I happen to think kissing is a very natural thing. Derek, kiss me.”
“Hi, Chastity,” I say, hoping to stop their conversation and get out of this.
“Hi, Dr. Hartz.”
“Derek, please call me Derek,” I tell her again.
She’s pretty much refused to, and I don’t know why.
“Fine, Derek. Good morning.”
“Good morning.” I smile. I can’t remember the last time that Everly said that to me. Maybe if the two of them could get along, she could convince my daughter I don’t suck.
Teagan gets up, grabbing the plate of eggs and bacon she didn’t eat, and I grab it. “I’ll eat that.”
She laughs. “You’re still the same, always hungry and willing to eat anything.”
“And you still eat like a bird.”
Chastity sits at the table. “See, Mom, we should get a bird.”
I grin. “You should.”
“Why? So the stupid cat can eat it or worse, I’d end up with a pregnant bird.”
“I bet you’re more of a dog person,” I say conspiratorially.
“Oh! Yes, a dog.” Chastity beams.
Teagan turns and glares at me. “I know what you’re doing and I’m not getting an animal. I live in this tiny-ass apartment where I can barely fit the human crap, no way are we getting a dog.”
“Don’t let her fool you, Dr. Har—errr-Derek, she has a million excuses and none of them involve space.”
“I love animals, thank you very much,” Teagan defends. “Outside.”
“It’s fine, Chastity and I will make you an animal lover,” I inform her.
Chastity lifts her hand in a fist bump. I, of course, return the bump and Teagan is fighting a smile while trying to appear pissed.
“You.” She points at me. “Out. My daughter and I need to talk about alliances and whatnot.”
“Sounds good.” I walk over to her, not sure if I kiss her or do we hug?
So, I wait…praying she takes mercy on me and leads. Teagan looks at me with a grin and then finally she wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you later.”
“Still gross,” Chastity says.
I walk over to her and give her the fist bump sign. “See you later to help with the horses?”
She lifts her fist, tapping mine, and nods. “Definitely.”
As I walk out of the apartment I can’t help but smile. Moving back to Chincoteague has been the best thing to happen in a long time.
* * *
My phone rings from a number I don’t know. “Hello?”
“Hi, Dr. Derek, it’s Chastity. Listen, I’m not going to be able to make it today. I have to work on my project before it’s due. So, Everly and I are swamped and are going to be a while.”
I dropped Everly off at Teagan’s earlier today and I guess they got tied up. “Okay, I totally understand, school comes first.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up and text Teagan.
Me: Things okay over at your house?
Teagan: Girls have been doing their social media thing, no screaming so I take that as a good sign. They said they need to work on it and then take other photos for this account thing.
I knew that’s what they were doing. This was an excuse to talk to her today.
Me: I want to see you.
This is really the point. It’s been twenty-four hours and I fucking miss her. My entire body yearns for her.
Teagan: You just saw me when you dropped off Everly.
Me: Not the same. I couldn’t even kiss you, touch you, be near you other than the few seconds we had.
Everly was not having it. She stood at Teagan’s door, waiting until I left to go inside. It’s hard because Chastity isn’t the issue, it’s my kid. She’s still upset about her mother and then she’s got these delusions about Teagan. I worry how she’d react if I did get Teagan to agree to move into that house with us.
It won’t go over well, but I’m also not willing to wait until Everly is ready, considering I don’t think she ever will be.
Teagan: I miss you too. I’m going to drive Everly home and maybe you can sneak out for a kiss?
Me: Maybe we can go to that old make-out spot and I can get frisky?
Teagan: I’m not sure because last I remember, you didn’t do the make-out spot.
I smile. All the kids went there and I never did. If I wanted to make out with a girl, it wasn’t going to be surrounded by ten other kids. But if that’s the only way I could’ve kissed Teagan, I would’ve been there with bells on.
Me: Maybe I didn’t have the right girl.
Teagan: And you do now?
Me: Damn right I do.
Teagan: I might just let you touch my boob for that one.
Teagan makes me feel like a teenage boy. I’m standing here, smiling as I look at the phone like I’m the luckiest bastard alive, and I am.
I put it down and head into the clinic. My father is putzing around, opening cabinets and looking in the wrong places.
“You okay, Dad?”
“Huh? Who’s there?”
Shit. He’s out of it. His eyes are glazed over and his hands are shaking. “It’s me—Derek. I asked if you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I can’t find my thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing that I use for the cats when they have their babies.”
My father has had two pretty bad episodes in the last year. Once, my mother found him down by the beach where he had no recollection of the night. It was like he was in a trance. Then, two months ago, he woke up frantic. He couldn’t remember who my mother was and thought she was an intruder.
I’d never heard my mother so distraught. That’s when I knew I had to come home. My father can’t be working if he can’t remember who he is.
“I’ll help you look, Pop.”
He nods. “Did you know there’s a bunch of horses in the stalls?”
“We’re helping the rescue for a bit.”
“Oh.” I hate hearing the disappointment in his voice. He’s been a great father my entire life. I wanted to be like him, which I guess I’ve done my best to become. I’d like to think I’m honorable, caring, and I definitely share the same passion for animals, but he’s more than that. When I was young, he always made time for me. He was at my baseball games, even though he didn’t care for sports. I never had to wonder if he was going to show up for anything that mattered.
I’ve tried to be that kind of father for Everly, but I’m sure I’ve fallen short. Too many times I had an emergency that I had to go to as a young veterinarian. I was building a practice and sometimes that meant I had to sacrifice.
I regret that.
“You know, Pop?” I draw his attention as we keep looking for a thing which I have no idea which thing it is. “I could really use your advice.”
“Yeah? What about?”
“I like this girl,” I confess.
“You and Teagan, huh?”
I stop moving and watch him.
“What? You and that girl have been in love since you were kids, even if you were both too blind to see it.”
“You
think so?”
He smiles a little. “I never understood why you married Meghan anyway. She wasn’t the girl for you, son.”
I have no idea if he’s fully back with me or he’s still confused. “Do you think Teagan is?”
“Only you can answer that.”
“Evasive as ever, Pop.”
“A man has to make his own choices.”
I’ve made plenty that I wish I’d chosen differently.
“You’re a smart man, anyone tell you that?”
My father walks closer, and touches my shoulder. “I married a smart woman.”
And there he is, the man who loves my mother more than anything. “Mom is pretty special.”
His head shakes as he looks down. “I forget sometimes.” His voice is full of shame. “I don’t remember things, important things, and I don’t want to forget her.”
A part of my heart breaks. No one in this world deserves this, but least of all him. He’s been the pillar of strength and someone to admire. My mother and father have loved each other more than anything.
I grip his hand, waiting for his eyes to meet mine. “She knows it’s not you. Mom loves you and remembers enough for the both of you.”
A tear forms in his green eyes, but he wipes it away. “Marry that girl, Derek. Marry the girl who you’d cry over if you forgot her. Marry the girl who even when your brain can’t remember, your heart does.”
“That’s my plan, Pop. I just have to get her on board.”
He pats my shoulder and leaves the room.
I look at my messages and there’s one from a client who is having issues with her horse. I grab my bag and head out the door, thankful to have something to do other than think.
On the ride over, I drive down Main Street, and see a girl who looks an awful lot like Chastity carrying a bookbag. I pull over, roll the window down, and call out her name. “Chastity?”
She can’t hide the shock in her eyes quick enough. “Oh, hi, Dr. Derek.”
“Do you need a ride?”
She shakes her head quickly. “No, no, no, I’m just walking.”
I’m not buying it. “Where? I thought you were working on the project with Everly?”
“We were. We finished a few minutes ago so I’m going…to the…to the McCutchreys’ store. I need to get something.”
She really needs to work on her storytelling if she’s going to lie. “That’s where I’m heading, hop in.”
“No, really.” She looks around. “It’s totally fine.”
“Come on, your mother would never forgive me if I let you walk in the cold.”
“It’s not cold.”
I grin. “And you’re not telling the truth.”
She sighs and her head falls back. She looks so much like her mother right now. “Fine, but you can’t tell my mom if I tell you.”
I’m thinking that’s not a great bargain to make with Chastity, but the last thing I want is for her to end up in trouble. “I can’t promise, but if it’s not illegal, I won’t.”
“I’m going to see my father.”
That was not the words I was expecting. “Your father?”
“Yes, he’s here in town, and I know Mom was adamant I stay away from him and I know she’s right, but I have to see him. I need to see him. He’s here and I can’t…I can’t not…I have to…”
I can’t imagine the turmoil she’s feeling. “Get in,” I say as I open the passenger door.
“Please, don’t tell her. She left to drive Everly home and I don’t know, I just walked out thinking I would get back before her. You can’t tell her, Derek. She will never forgive me or understand.”
“Forgive you?”
Chastity tucks her hair behind her ear. “I sent him a few messages,” she admits. “She’ll think I contacted him because she’s not a good enough mother, but that’s not it. It’s because he’s famous and people talk about how great he is and I want to know why. How can he be here and not even want to see me? How can he think I’m not good enough?”
“You are better than him, that’s how. He’s an idiot and it’s his loss.”
“It doesn’t matter. I was going to see him and then come home without anyone knowing.”
This girl is brave beyond her years. I hate keeping this secret from Teagan, but at the same time, I feel like Chastity needs someone. I can’t imagine doing this alone, and if it were my daughter, I would want her to not be alone. “You were going to your grandfather’s funeral to see him?”
Her eyes widen. “You know he’s here?”
“Yes, I went with your mother when he showed up in town.”
She shakes her head. “I need to see him. I won’t make a scene or anything, I just want to…meet him…just once. I want to say that I looked him in the eyes. Do you understand?”
I release a heavy sigh. “I don’t, but then again I don’t know what it’s like to not have a father. How did you think you’d pull it off?”
She pulls her backpack around. “I was going to change into my black dress and just go. I figured I could blend in?”
“Chastity, everyone in this town knows who you are.”
“He doesn’t.”
“No,” I say with resignation. “I guess he doesn’t.”
I’m not sure what to do, but I can’t let this girl who was brave enough to go to a funeral to get a glimpse of her father go alone. I also don’t want to betray Teagan, but Chastity’s going to do it whether I say to or not.
“You can’t go alone.”
“I can’t tell anyone.”
“I was heading to look at a horse, but I have about twenty minutes. Why don’t you let your mom know you’re with me, we’ll stop by the funeral for a minute, and then you can help me, deal?”
Her eyes light up and her smile is blinding. “Oh my God, are you serious?”
“Yes, but we are telling your mother after, understand?”
She nods. “Okay, that’s totally fine.”
I have a feeling it’s not, but this is what I think is the right move.
We drive the few blocks to the funeral home and head inside. I can practically feel the nervous energy rolling off of her. She rushes into the bathroom to change, and then stands off to the side of the room, not making eye contact with anyone. It’s the very end of the viewing, which is a good thing because it means we have fewer people who will be here and see us.
“Ready?” I ask as we’re at the entrance to the room.
“Yes.”
I’m glad one of us is.
She grabs my arm, stopping in her tracks as we get about halfway into the room. There stands Keith, looking at the casket, with his head bowed.
“That’s him,” she whispers.
“Yes. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know, it’s so strange.”
No one has noticed us and this would be the perfect time to exit. “Let’s head back now.”
Chastity nods.
When we start to make our way out the door, I hear Keith’s voice. “Derek?”
Shit.
I turn to Chastity. “Just play along.”
“Keith, I’m here to pay my respects. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
His lips are in a flat line and it’s clear he doesn’t want me here any more than I want to be here. “Thanks. Is this your kid?”
No, she’s yours.
“Yes, this is my daughter, Everly.”
Chastity looks up at her father and extends her hand. “Hi.”
“Hey.”
My head is spinning at the fact that he’s standing here, and he doesn’t even know it’s his daughter.
“You play football?” Chastity asks.
“I do, are you a fan?”
She shakes her head. “Not really.”
His eyes narrow and I clear my throat. Last thing I need is him to suddenly grow a brain and figure it out. “Well, we have to get to a client…” I say.
�
�Right. Thanks for stopping by and sorry about the other night. You know how it is with kids, I’m just not built for it. I was trying to do the right thing but with Teagan that’s pretty impossible.”
No, I don’t know how it is, Keith. In fact, I think you’re a fucking idiot who needs to have the shit kicked out of him. You’re a spineless prick for taking advantage of Teagan, and now for being a horrific excuse for a man by hurting your daughter, whether you ever wanted her or not and if I didn’t have my own kid to worry about, I’d be in jail.
I can’t say any of that because I’m standing here with Chastity—at a funeral. So, I nod a little, as though I think he’s got a point, which I don’t. “Well, I would appreciate you staying away from us while you’re around.”
He looks at Chastity again and then back up to me. “Won’t be a problem. I have no desire to see anyone in this town.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Teagan
Present
“So,” I say with my best half-awkward-half-excited voice. “Are you settling in here?”
Everly scoffs. “You may be dating my dad this week, but we are not going to be friends.”
Oh, good, and I thought this might go poorly.
“You’re right. You totally don’t need friends.”
“Nope.”
“I get it.”
She turns her head to look out the window.
I swear, I owe my mother one hell of an apology. “Your dad said you went out for the cheerleading squad?”
“Yup.”
I’m trying here, but Lord am I failing. I’m not sure how to connect with her. Cheerleading was my for-sure in, after that I’ve got nothing.
Maybe I can draw out some form of emotion and then go off that. At this point I don’t have anything to lose.
“Can I ask why you seem angry at me?”
Everly’s eyes turn toward me. “You can’t have my dad. He’s still in love with my mother and he will never love you like he loved her.”
I release a heavy sigh. I want Everly to at least be open to liking me. There’s a long way to go before that will ever happen but this is a start in the right direction.
“You’re right.”
All I Ask Page 23
