Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  "Maybe... I don't think she even has a car. I can't imagine where she must be living. It's not with her parents."

  "Wait a second," he stopped walking and turned to her. "You don't mean that she's living here again. In Oakville."

  Mia shrugged and Logan wished she'd stopped doing that. "I'm not really sure. I tried talking to her yesterday at lunch but couldn't get one honest answer from her."

  Logan couldn't believe Mia was in town, let alone the possibility that she was living here. He felt his old protectiveness returning, wanting to defend whatever choices she'd made. It was infuriating. He wished he could just stay bitter and resentful, rather than think of her with rainbows and lollipops. That wasn't a real image, that was just a fantasy he'd built up over time.

  Rachel continue leading Logan around the yard, pointing out stuff he didn't care about and some of which he didn't even understand. He followed her around like a zombie. When she pointed out something called, "The Gold of Kinabalu," he kept looking around for a treasure chest until he finally picked up on the fact she was still talking about flowers.

  Rachel stopped to chat with a group of girls she'd gone to high school with who'd somehow broken through the crowd and made their way inside. Logan searched their faces, wondering if maybe Mia might show up with one of them, but no such luck. As Rachel chatted though, she asked about Mia.

  "Oh she works at Smart Mart. Ain't you kept in touch?"

  Logan did a double take. "Did you say Smart Mart?"

  She nodded. "Yeah, been workin' there for months."

  "Years," another girl correct.

  The first girl rolled her eyes. "Years, months, whatsa difference when you're in Oakville?"

  The girl didn't realize it, but she'd just nailed the problem with Oakville down to a stroke. Time stopped here. It was just another reminder of how glad he'd been to get when he did. He wondered what on Earth could have dragged Mia back here after Harvard and the east coast. Maybe her parents were sick. But couldn't she have gotten a better job than Smart Mart?

  He excused himself from the party, determined to find Mia and figure out what the hell was going on.

  Chapter 5

  It was another midnight shift. That is, it started around nine, and ended at five in the morning. Mia stood at an empty register. This was her punishment for turning down Mr. Rayner yet again. She was stuck on register her entire shift. She didn't even know why Smart Mart was open twenty-four hours. Hardly anyone ever came in after nine or ten. Small towns went to be early.

  She stood there and played with her shoe. She tried to think of new, inventive ways to make it feel comfortable on her foot, instead of like itchy cardboard stuck together with tape. She stood on her tiptoes, leaned back on her heels, then looked around before daring to pull her foot out for a moment of sweet freedom. Mr. Rayner was watching her across the store, but he couldn't see her toes wiggling in her socks. She smiled at him. He scowled and walked in the opposite direction.

  Hours passed. At least, it felt like hours, but when she looked at the clock it was only one. She'd rang up exactly three people since eleven. Strangely, they were all buying kitchen appliances. She looked at her register and set a brochure on the old train depot down on it, hoping that if Mr. Rayner saw her it would look like she was reading some interesting piece of work material, then let her eyes flutter shut.

  They couldn't have been closed very long. The sounds of the store never faded from her ears.

  "Hey." A deep voice shot out of the darkness, hitting her like a hammer.

  Her eyelids snapped open and her head jerked to attention. She wasn't sure, but she thought she must've fallen asleep standing up. Is that even possible? But there was no other explanation for the voice she'd heard.

  "Sorry," she said to her customer, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ears. "I was just..." When she looked up into Logan's eyes, she thought she was dreaming.

  Crap. Wake up! Wake up before Mr. Rayner catches you!

  When the image before her refused to fade, she slowly came to the realization that she was already awake. That was even worse. That meant that Logan Knight was standing in front of her, looking like he'd just stepped out of the pages of GQ, while she was stuck behind a register in her beige Smart Mart shirt and an old pair of jeans.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, smiling.

  How was she supposed to respond to that smile? "Hi," she finally said. Keep it short and sweet. Or at least short.

  "How are you?" he asked. It was a perfectly normal question but it came out sounding stilted. The awkwardness of the situation was so thick it almost made the air around them unbreathable. "Do you work here?" he asked, then immediately regretted the question when Mia scrunched her face and tapped her name tag. "Right. Duh." He tried his smile again but Mia was looking for Mr. Rayner and missed it. She thought if she could say her boss was wandering the aisles it would be a good excuse to get rid of Logan. But there was no Mr. Rayner when she actually needed him.

  She gave in a little, deciding it was better to talk to him than stand there like a statue. "I'm fine," she lied. "I guess I don't have to ask how you are."

  He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe my life isn't what you read in the papers."

  His eyes were just as mesmerizing as she remembered. Blue and perfect. It felt like he was hypnotizing her withthem. "Well..." she said, softening just a little. "So how are you really then?"

  "Fine," he lied.

  They stood opposite each other, nodding their heads, so many things to say yet neither of them having the courage to say them. Mia wanted to know what the hell Logan was doing here. He must be in town for Rachel's wedding, but why would he even step foot in Smart Mart?

  As if reading her mind, Logan said, "I heard you worked here. I was looking for you."

  Her heart thumped in her chest. "For me?" she whispered. "Why?"

  He looked at her like she was nuts. "Why do you mean why? Because... because..." He was starting to stammer. Mia thought it was cute. "Because we have unfinished business."

  Oh my God. He knows about Emma.

  "When do you get off?" he asked, deciding to turn his charm all the way up and shoot her his million-dollar smile. The smile faltered a little when Mia showed no reaction.

  "Not till five," she said.

  "In the morning?" His eyes bugged out of his head. "That's right," she said. "And I think you should go before I get in trouble." She'd seen the way his eyes had lit upon her face. The smile he kept trying to charm her with. He didn't know about Emma, he just thought he could finagle a little action with her for old time's sake. But she wasn't about to give in to him, no matter how damned beguiling he was.

  "Listen Mia, I've missed you."

  Her mind raced. She reminded herself he was just trying to get her into bed. That was the only thing that made any sense. With millions of dollars and millions of women, it was ridiculous to think that Logan could have missed her. Her heart longed for it to be true, but her mind knew better.

  "My boss is coming," she finally said, just to get rid of him. Mr. Rayner was probably sleeping in the back."

  "I'm not—"

  "Leave Logan, before you get me fired."

  His eyes looked hurt, and for a second Mia felt bad. But then she remembered the womanizing he was so known for, and felt justified in sending him away. When she didn't say anything else, Logan turned his back to her and left the store. Mia relaxed her shoulders, then burst into tears.

  Chapter 6

  Once five o'clock hit, Logan started to question just what he was doing. Mia had obviously changed since he'd last seen her. He'd hit her full throttle with his million-dollar smile and she'd had no reaction whatsoever. So why was he standing outside, waiting for her like a schmuck?

  Apparently I'm a sucker for heartache.

  He laughed to himself. If his friends could hear him they'd say he was a pansy. Football players were tough. They didn't have feelings. The only place they could get hurt
was on the field. It was an image Logan had cultivated well, but finally come to loathe. He looked up and saw Mia crossing the parking lot.

  "Mia," he shouted, running over to her.

  She jumped and looked wildly around until her eyes found his and settled there.

  "Sorry," he said, "did I scare you?"

  She broke into a smile to rival the approaching dawn and shook her head, laughing. "Maybe a little. I'm not used to people stalking me." There was a hesitation in her voice, which was still as soft and sensual as ever. It almost seemed like she didn't trust herself around him.

  "I'm not stalking you," he said. "But maybe I should. You look good." It was true. Though she clearly wasn't the same Mia he'd left in Oakville three years ago, her looks had only improved. He'd already thought she was beautiful before, but now her hair had more gold. Her eyes had more caramel. He wondered if it was only that he hadn't seen her in so long, or had she really gotten prettier with time?

  She blushed and her pink lips formed into a perfect "oh" as she opened her mouth. "You too," she said. "Look good, I mean." Then it seemed like some unseen force smacked the back of her head and her smile faded. She did a complete turnaround. Instead of the soft, almost demure way she had paused and looked at him, her eyes darkened and she turned abruptly on her heels. "I have to go."

  He couldn't believe it. She was leaving. Again. "Wait!" he called. "I came all this way to see you, won't you at least talk to me? Let me buy you breakfast. You must be hungry."

  She paused mid-stride and Logan jumped on her before she could run.

  "Where's your car? You can follow me to Maui's. It's still there, right?"

  "Yes..."

  "Good. Then let's go."

  "I don't have a car," she said, as if that somehow prevented her from eating breakfast. "I have to get home. I... I don't have time for Maui's."

  He wouldn't relent though. He was desperate to get her to talk to him. "What about Lou's? Everyone has time for fast food. Right?" But she just stood there, uncertain. "It's drive-thru Mia. Come on. What's so important at home you don't have time for drive-thru?"

  Finally, Mia consented. It was his scent. Ocean breeze wafted through the air and filled her like oxygen. He smelled good, and the parts of her that had been hidden away for the last three years—the parts that belonged to a young woman—began to power on.

  "But we can eat and drive, right? We don't have to sit there?"

  He nodded before she could change her mind, at the same time kicking himself for being so eager to please her. She'd dumped him in an email. He couldn’t forget that, no matter how good she looked or how much his heart sang when he was near her. He realized he might be acting a little pathetic, but this new knowledge wasn't enough to stop him from opening the car door for her.

  Mia's eyes widened when she slid into his red Corvette. "Is this a rental?" she gulped, hoping he'd say yes.

  "No, I bought it for my parents a while back. I'm just borrowing it while I'm here. I hate rentals."

  "Oh." Logan was clearly living in a different world than hers. She instantly regretted getting in the car with him. The richness of it suffocated her. They drove to Lou's and Mia hesitated before asking, "Um, do you think it would be alright if I got an extra burger to take home?" She was thinking of Emma and what a treat Lou's would be for her.

  Logan smiled and said "of course," but immediately assumed she must have a boyfriend she lived with. He resented buying food for her lover. He should have listened to his inner voice. This had all been a huge mistake.

  "Where do you live?" he finally asked, deciding he should just take her home.

  "Harvest Road," she mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

  Logan thought he did a pretty good job of hiding his shock. Harvest Road had always been for hookers and druggies. No decent person was found there. Even his family, as poor as they'd been, had avoided Harvest Road. "Is that where your boyfriend lives?" he asked, disgusted.

  "No," she said a little defensively. "That's where I live."

  They were just approaching Harvest when he decided he couldn't take this anymore and gave in to the thoughts eating away at him. His head snapped around and Mia shouted, "Watch the road."

  He slammed on the breaks and pulled over in front of an old apartment building that looked like it was probably run by homeless people. His mind was racing. "Okay Mia, what's going on?"

  "What do you mean?" she asked. Her heart hammered in her chest. "Why did you stop?"

  "Because I want to know what you're doing living on Harvest Road. And working at Smart Mart. And not at Harvard. When did you even get back from the east coast?"

  Mia's lips trembled and Logan felt bad for yelling, but she was driving him crazy with her vague answers and her weepy eyes that were so beautiful in the breaking dawn they made his head buzz.

  "I... I..."

  "You what?" he demanded. "Just tell me."

  The tears ran from her eyes in thick waves stained with anger and embarrassment. "I never went to Harvard," she finally exclaimed. "I lost the scholarship. I never left Oakville." Giant sobs shook her shoulders and Mia opened the door and ran from Logan's car into the building that he'd thought was waiting to be bulldozed.

  He sat watching her go, too shocked to follow her except with his eyes. "Mia," he finally managed to whisper and stretched a hand towards her open door. But it was too late. She ran into her apartment and shut the door, closing him out.

  Chapter 7

  Rachel was driving Mia crazy. She texted her all morning. It was her one day off this week and she was trying to enjoy playing with Emma. Luckily, the wedding was tomorrow and soon both Rachel and Logan would be out of her life for good. But she couldn't keep avoiding Mia, it was just creating more questions and Logan was already suspicious. She finally responded to one of Mia's texts, agreeing to meet her at her parents' place for a late lunch. She called Tera, who was making a small fortune off Mia in babysitting money, and asked her to come by for a couple of hours. She didn't think a visit with Rachel would take longer than that; she wouldn't let it.

  At four Mia showed up to Rachel's. She'd had to walk from the bus stop, but it wasn't too far and she could use the exercise. She'd heard about the place Logan had bought his parents after getting drafted by the NFL, but seeing it in person was sort of spellbinding, especially done up for the wedding. The long driveway curved towards the house, creating a masterful scene as it wove its way towards dark gray stones and spires, just like a castle. It almost looked like a real one, and given the multi-millions Logan—and Rachel too for that matter—were supposed to have, Mia couldn't be sure it wasn't a real castle, imported from Europe and reconstructed here in dinky little Oakville.

  Different colored Chinese lanterns were strung from invisible wires across the front and back yards. Mia had no idea how they'd done it, but it actually looked like the lights were floating in mid-air. She walked up the driveway, the hair on her arms standing up. Her breath was sharp and shallow. She didn't like being here. The door opened and Rachel stepped out with a wide smile.

  "Hi," she cried, running towards Mia like it was old times. Mia accepted the hug but hung back when Rachel stepped inside. "Come on," she said, pulling her arm. "The house isn't gonna bite." She led Mia up to a spare bedroom that was serving as the pre-honeymoon chamber. It was decorated in soft French lace and looked like something straight out of a magazine.

  "So," Rachel said. "Smart Mart huh? What happened to Harvard?"

  Rachel always had a way of cutting right to things. Mia shrugged and raised her shoulders. "Things happen," she said. "Life doesn't work according to plan." She looked at Rachel, surrounded by designer clothes and plush carpet. "Except maybe for you and Logan."

  Rachel sat on her bed, staring up at Mia with eyes that hinted at something she wasn't sure she should ask. "Was it drugs?" she almost whispered.

  Mia burst out laughing in spite of her discomfort.

  "No," she said. "It wasn't drugs."

&
nbsp; Rachel let out a long sigh of relief. "Good. Though I wouldn't judge if it was and I could totally help you." She smiled and Mia saw why she was such a good model. A perfect mouth, with perfect blonde hair falling in ringlets. She was made for the camera.

  "So," Rachel whispered, more conspiratorially this time. "Was it a boy?" She half winked at me and I felt the blood drain from my face. Logan and I had never told Rachel about us. We weren't sure how she would react. It had been my excuse for breaking things off with him so long ago. I'd told him I couldn't keep seeing him because I was afraid it would hurt Rachel.

  A few weeks ago at work, I'd read my horoscope in some magazine in the break room. I'd been regretting it ever since. It had told me that I was cursed with bad luck. Forever. Okay, maybe it didn't say forever, but you had to read between the lines. My fears were now confirmed when there was a light tap on Rachel's door and Logan stepped inside. His eyes registered surprise and I immediately looked away, embarrassed at the way I'd left things with him the other night.

  Logan stood there for a second with a dumb expression on his face before Rachel finally said, "Well? Did you want something?"

  He looked startled, like he'd forgotten she was there, then said, "Yeah. Mom wants to know how many of those little swan vase thingies should go on each table."

  Rachel's eyes widened in alarm. "Those don't go on the tables!" she shrieked, jumping off the bed and running out the door. She paused just long enough to turn her head and say to Mia, "We're not done here. And you're coming to the rehearsal tomorrow, whether you want to or not." She turned to Logan. "Talk her into it, will you?" Then she ran down the stairs before her mom could misplace the swan vase thingies that would, apparently, make or break this wedding.

  Logan and Mia were left alone in the room. There was an awkward silence before Logan finally said, "So, you're going to the dinner?"

  Mia shrugged.