Back to Me

by Wanda B. Campbell

  “You can set it over there,” he told the deliveryman, while pointing at Paige’s desk. After handing the man some bills and dismissing him, Sergio-Xavier turned back to Paige. “I called in an order on my way over. I figured after we made up, we could have dinner together before you run off to Bible study.”

  “You just knew I’d forgive your sorry butt, didn’t you?”

  He ducked the pen she threw at him. “Don’t knock a man for trying to keep hope alive.”

  She opened the box on her desk. “It’s not about hope. You seem to know more about me than I find necessary. Like this.” She pointed at the deep-dish chicken and spinach pizza. “How did you know I love this pizza?”

  Sergio-Xavier didn’t know how to answer the question without sounding mystical or deeply spiritual. He couldn’t admit he’d become so tuned in, he sensed her desires, so he sidestepped the question. “Who doesn’t like Zachary’s? It’s the best in the Bay Area.”

  “You’re right about that,” she said, closing the box and pushing it aside. “Before we dig into that, let’s write up the offers. It’ll take only a few minutes.”

  He agreed and allowed Paige to take control. He trusted her completely with the transactions, accepting her suggestions about the offering prices and other terms and conditions. After signing on the dotted lines, he handed her a check in the amount requested.

  “I’ll deposit this into my trust account,” she said, enclosing the check in a bank deposit pouch. “Now let’s eat, so I can get out of here. I have to be on time for the Lord.” In an unexpected move, Paige walked around the desk and sat in the chair beside him.

  “Wouldn’t want you to keep the Lord waiting.” He chuckled and reached for a paper plate at the same time she did. Their hands briefly touched, but he ignored the warm sensation and grabbed a pizza slice.

  “Since we’re friends now, I can ask you a personal question.” Paige leaned back in the chair and crossed her legs at the knee. Something he preferred she wouldn’t do.

  “Go ahead. I’ll try to answer.”

  “With your deep pockets, why do you live in a loft?”

  This he could handle. “Since I’m single, I don’t see the point in living in a big house with empty rooms. I’d rather wait until I have a family to fill the rooms, instead of coming home to an empty space. I already have the land and the blueprints drawn up for when the time comes.”

  She held the slice of pizza just beyond her lips. “I’m confused. If you want a family, then why aren’t you at least dating someone?”

  He swallowed before answering. “As a minister, I can’t date every and any woman I find attractive. For me, dating has to be for the purpose of marriage, not for a lust fest between the sheets. Basically, I’m waiting for the right woman.”

  She ceased chewing, and he thought the way her brows knit was cute. “Wow, so you’ve never been with a woman. At your age, that’s remarkable. You deserve sainthood.”

  “Whoa! Hold up.” He set the plate on the desk. “I didn’t say all that. I’m nowhere near the status of sainthood. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and yes, I have been with a woman. In fact, I was engaged once. However, now I choose to remain celibate until marriage.” He paused, then added, “If that ever happens.” The reality that he might not ever enjoy a family of his own was a sore spot he usually kept hidden.

  Paige scooted the chair closer to him. “Now that we’re friends, I can be a little nosy. What happened? Why didn’t you get married? Let me guess. Your award-winning personality ran her off? Please tell me. I can’t wait to hear this.”

  Paige bubbled with laughter, but he didn’t join her. The woman had no idea how much the indiscretion had cost him.

  “Okay, friend, I’ll tell you, but promise me you won’t use the information to pass judgment on me.”

  She grabbed another pizza slice and then leaned back in the chair again with her legs crossed at the knee. “I promise to keep an open mind,” she said, swinging her left leg.

  Sharing this part of his life with Paige would definitely put them on a deeper level, but maybe it would also prove to her that God loved people with flaws.

  “In my last year of medical school, I met this beautiful woman at a church revival service. We both ended up going out to eat with a group after service, and we immediately hit it off. Nicole didn’t mind that I was a minister, and I loved the fact that she was a PK—preacher’s kid. We both shared a solid Christian foundation and had many shared interest, and she was fine. I thought we would be great together. We started dating and within no time became inseparable.”

  Paige’s leg stopped swinging. “Sounds like the perfect match to me.”

  “That was on the surface. The second I introduced Nicole to my parents, my mother told me in Spanish that the woman wasn’t right for me. ‘Something is wrong with her,’ my mother said, standing right in front of her. Of course I didn’t listen. I was head over heels in love with her beauty. What my parents didn’t know was that this goddess was my first. We started having sex within weeks of meeting and continued on a regular basis. What I thought at the time was love had me so intoxicated, I couldn’t resist what she freely offered. I had to have her, even if that meant walking away from the ministry. I did just that. Two weeks before my ordination, I denounced the call and left the church.”

  “Oh, my.” Paige shifted positions and leaned forward but continued chewing. “What happened next?”

  “Well, after I stopped attending church, I was free to sin openly, so I moved her into my apartment. Within weeks she suggested we get married and stop living in sin, and of course, I agreed. My family pleaded with me not to get married, but my ears were closed and my heart was encased by lust. Finally, my family stopped talking and started holding prayer sessions on my behalf. My family was praying, and Nicole was busy planning a wedding with her best friend. And I was busy funding my love’s every desire.”

  He stopped and gulped lemonade. Paige kicked his leg for him to continue.

  “About a month before the wedding, I was yearning to see her so badly. I skipped lab and came home early.” He paused. After all this time the details of Nicole’s betrayal were still hard to share. He swallowed and pressed forward. “Nicole and her best friend were there in our bed, having sex. Turns out their definition of best friend was different from mine. I couldn’t see it before then, but the two had been ‘besties’ since freshman year.”

  Paige scooted to the edge of her seat. “Your fiancée was bisexual, and you didn’t know it?”

  He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. The two attended church together, shopped, and just hung out. When Nicole wasn’t with me, she was with her. I didn’t see anything odd about it, because my sister and cousins did the same things with their female friends. Besides, we enjoyed a very active sex life. Turns out Nicole isn’t bisexual. She’s a lesbian, has been since high school. When I demanded she end the relationship with her girlfriend, she refused, saying she loved the woman but needed to marry me to keep her secret hidden from her family and the church. Oh, did I mention that Nicole was a seminary student?”

  “No, you didn’t.” He heard sadness in her voice but didn’t think it was for him.

  “After I flatly refused to marry her and keep their secret, Nicole and her girlfriend packed up her belongings and left my apartment that night. Before slamming my door, Nicole explained why our sex life had been so great. She had been fantasizing about her girlfriend while with me. So basically, I walked away from God for a woman who had never loved me. Looking back, I don’t think Nicole even cared about me. I was just a means to an end, and I was too stupid to see it. It took a long time to get over that, but I have, and I’ll never place myself in that position again. I went through a period of not trusting myself and people, but with God’s help and a loving family, I have overcome. I learned my lesson. I’ll never again engage my heart with someone or give my body to someone other than the person God has for me.”

  The warmth from Paig
e’s hand stroking his soothed him, and for once he didn’t resist the comfort.

  “The reason your judgmental attitude irritates me so is that I’ve been the fallen one. We sing the words to just get back up again, but sometimes a person can fall so far, they lose confidence that they can get back up. One can fall so low that the curb can look like a skyscraper. When a person is down, they don’t need theological rhetoric. What they need, what I needed, was love and compassion. What I have on and how many hours a day I spend in church are irrelevant. And outer appearance speaks nothing of character.”

  “I get it,” Paige said just above a whisper. “Really, I do.”

  Chapter 15

  Paige’s car came to a screeching halt once she pulled into a parking stall in the last row of the parking lot. Normally, she arrived thirty minutes early to pray with the intercessory prayer team, but tonight she had only five minutes to run across the parking lot, find a seat near the front, and say a quick prayer before Pastor Drake started the lesson. She grabbed her Bible and, after electronically locking the car, sprinted through the parking lot. Pastor Drake stepped up to the podium the exact second Paige plopped down in an empty seat next to Reyna.

  “What?” Paige shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at Reyna’s gawking.

  Reyna leaned in and whispered, “What’s up with you? Girl, you look good. We have got to talk after this.”

  “Thanks. I think,” Paige responded. “I didn’t know I looked like a troll before.”

  Reyna playfully slapped her arm. “Come on now, girl. You know you needed some help.”

  Paige thought to offer a rebuttal, but Pastor Drake began talking, and after seeing the end results, Paige had to admit the divas had indeed helped her to “step her game up.” Not only had Sergio-Xavier noticed—not that he mattered—but everywhere she’d gone today she’d received compliments on her hair and the red dress. She hadn’t missed how Sergio-Xavier was checking out her legs in her office, either. She just hadn’t addressed it, instead dancing around his admission of physical attraction, but she’d heard him loud and clear.

  Pastor Drake’s Bible study teaching was on the sacrifice that Christ had made to come down to Earth in human form to save mankind. He emphasized what the Son of God had given up to redeem people who had rejected him in life and would probably reject him in death. Yet He suffered so all who wanted freedom could freely have it. What Paige gleaned from the lesson was that as a Christian, she also needed to live a sacrificial life and place the needs of others above her own. She had to go above and beyond to help the less fortunate, namely, Seniyah. Before the benediction, Paige had formulated a plan for Seniyah to stay in school and raise her child.

  Reyna instantly lit into Paige at the close of service. “What’s his name, and when can I meet him?”

  Paige moved her mouth to protest, but the prayer warriors attacked her before she could get a word in.

  “Praise the Lord,” Mother Scott hollered, calling more attention to Paige. Several members were already staring and commenting among themselves. “God sure does answer prayers.”

  “He sure does,” First Lady Drake cosigned and then added a hallelujah praise.

  “I was worried about you for a minute when you didn’t come back to the second service on Sunday, until the Lord told me to let it go,” Mother Scott explained. “I’m so glad I did, ’cause now look at you. Baby, you look good. Your husband can finally find you.”

  First Lady Drake patted Paige’s forehead. “It won’t be long now.”

  Paige hung her head in total embarrassment as the prayer warriors danced in the spirit and spoke in tongues in a circle around her.

  “So who is it?” Reyna asked, pestering and shaking Paige. Then started naming old clients.

  “I’m not seeing anyone,” Paige said through gritted teeth. “Now, let’s get out of here before they calm down.”

  It was too late. First Lady Drake recovered in record speed. “I’m so glad you’ve learned that you don’t have to be in church every time the doors open to be saved. Now you have time for that doctor with the whole alphabet in his name.”

  Reyna gasped. “Dr. Simone? Paige, you’re dating Sergio-Xavier?”

  “No!” Paige screamed then lowered her voice when she continued. “We’re just friends.”

  Reyna was too busy pressing buttons on her cell phone to hear the denial. “I can’t wait to tell Tyson and Kevin. We were trying to hook y’all up at the christening, but you guys hated each other, so we left it alone. Wait until they find out our plan actually worked.”

  “What?” Paige shrieked. “How many times do I have to warn you about trying to fix me up?” Paige was livid. “I don’t need help with my personal life!”

  “Yes, you do,” Reyna and the prayer warriors said in unison.

  “No, I . . .” Paige’s tirade was cut short when she noticed a brother staring at her legs. The deacon had always been cordial, and not once had she witnessed the lust she saw radiating from him at that moment. The man was actually licking his lips. “I have to get out of here.” Paige grabbed her Bible and headed for the door.

  “That’s right. You go home and pray so the Lord can finish getting you ready,” First Lady Drake advised.

  Paige didn’t verbally or physically acknowledge the woman’s advice. She had to get out of the sanctuary before losing what little salvation she had left.

  “Hold up,” Reyna called, following behind her, but Paige didn’t stop until she reached her car.

  Paige spun around at the trunk. “Do y’all really think I can’t get a man on my own? Am I so helpless, y’all started the Get Paige a Man campaign?”

  “That’s not it,” Reyna said, catching her breath. “In the past, I was only trying to fix you up with Tyson, because I was too stubborn to admit I loved him. That’s neither here nor there. We’re happily married and insanely in love. So are Kevin and Marlissa and the Scotts. Don’t knock us for wanting the same for you.” Reyna’s attempt at explaining fell on deaf ears.

  “Sergio-Xavier showing up at my office was all a setup, wasn’t it?” Paige charged.

  “No, no! That was totally on the up-and-up. Kevin recommended you to Serg-X before Tyson and I met him,” Reyna explained. “After we met him, Tyson and I thought you’d be great for each other. That’s why we invited you both to the christening. We really didn’t mean any harm.”

  Her former wayward employee was known for many things, but harmful was not one of them, at least not to others. What irked Paige most was that everyone from her mother to DWAP to what few friends and acquaintances she had seemed more in tune with her needs than she was. She no longer knew herself, and that frightened her.

  “Whatever, Reyna.” Paige waved her away, but Reyna wouldn’t move.

  “Come on, girl.” Reyna nudged her. “You know the man is fine. You can thank us after he puts a ring on it.”

  Paige smirked. “Never. What I will do is call Dr. Jennings and Attorney Stokes and tell them off. For the most part, Dr. Simone is a good guy, but he’s not my guy.” Paige walked around to the driver’s door, and Reyna followed, laughing.

  “You know, I said the same thing about Tyson.”

  Paige got in the car, but before closing the door, she said, “I’ll tell you what, Miss Matchmaker. If the good doctor does become my man and puts a ring on it, you’ll be the first to know. In fact, I’ll give you a year’s worth of commissions as a finder’s fee.”

  Reyna lips smacked. “You’re saying that only because you don’t believe it will happen, but I will hold you to it.”

  “Whatever, Reyna. Now, go home to that busybody husband of yours. He’ll need you to nurse his wounds by the time you get home,” Paige said, removing her cell phone from her waist clip.

  Reyna pouted. “Go easy on him.” She then leaned into the car and hugged Paige, although she resisted the affection. “You look good, girl. Keep me posted.”

  Jealousy threatened to overtake Paige as she watched Reyna
walk away through the rearview mirror. She wasn’t jealous of who Reyna had, but of what she had found. It wasn’t just a baby, but the love and adoration of a good man meant more to Paige than she cared to admit. Still, she refused to accept what everyone else had suggested. Sergio-Xavier wasn’t the man for her. This time the prayer warriors had gotten their lines crossed. The physical changes she’d made readily weren’t for him at all.

  She shook her head as if to clear it and then started the engine. Right now she had more pressing matters to deal with. Like how to save one child while raising another.

  Chapter 16

  Wednesday afternoon Paige found herself being elbowed and bumped up the stairs as she trudged into the school as students stampeded out. She’d planned to arrive well before the dismissal bell to avoid the foot traffic, but her appointment at the title company ran over. Now she had to race to catch Seniyah before she left the school. The other alternative was to drop by her house uninvited. She liked the first option. She pushed her way up onto the landing and into the building, then darted down the hall, toward the music room. Seniyah had choir last period.

  “Seniyah,” she yelled once she spotted her exiting the music room and going in the opposite direction.

  Seniyah stopped and turned around. But Paige gained not only the girl’s attention, but also the attention of several young men. Irritated but on a mission, Paige ignored the howls and whistles and proceeded to catch up with her star student.

  “Seniyah, we need to talk,” Paige said, nearly breathless. “I was hoping you could go for a ride with me.” Paige took more than the usual glance at the girl. Sergio-Xavier was right; Seniyah’s nose had spread. She was also wearing the wool coat, and it was snug around her tummy.

  “Hi, Miss Paige. I know I missed another DWAP meeting, but something came up. I meant to call you.” Seniyah nervously looked around, then back at Paige. “I have some errands to run for my mother, but we can talk outside for a few minutes.”

  That was not what Paige wanted to hear, but it was better than nothing. “Okay. We can talk in my car. I’m in the faculty parking lot.”