Back to Me

by Wanda B. Campbell

  Seniyah adjusted the backpack hanging off her shoulder. “I’ll follow you.”

  “Fine.” Paige started back down the hallway. If her nervous giggle was any indication, Paige would blow this conversation before it officially got started. Real estate negotiations, she could handle, but a pregnant teenager was out of her league.

  “Miss Paige, you look different,” Seniyah commented once they left the dimly lit building and stepped outside into the sunlight. “You look nice with your hair down and with make-up.”

  Paige half smiled at the compliment, then remembered that Seniyah’s absence from the last session had all but sealed her fate with DWAP. Jasmine wouldn’t hesitate to vote her out during the next meeting.

  “Thank you. I have DWAP to thank for this, but I’ll tell you about that later.” Paige continued on toward the car.

  “Can we stand out here and talk?” Seniyah asked once they reach the vehicle. “I have been sitting most of the day. I need to stretch my legs.”

  Paige inconspicuously attempted to inspect her lower legs. Even in sneakers, Seniyah’s ankles appeared swollen. Paige had witnessed swollen ankles on her sister when she was late in her pregnancy, but she didn’t think it normal for Seniyah’s pregnancy stage.

  “Sure.” Paige waited until Seniyah leaned her back against the passenger door and stretched her legs before continuing. All the while she berated herself for not noticing the girl’s condition sooner. Seniyah’s belly bump had taken shape, and the coat was just as snug across her breasts.

  “Seniyah, why didn’t you tell me about the baby?” Paige’s voice was so low, she doubted the girl had heard her. Judging by Seniyah’s disconcerted expression, she hadn’t. Paige was about to repeat the question when Seniyah finally answered.

  “I was embarrassed, and you didn’t ask. I thought you had figured it out when you brought me this coat after seeing me at the food bank.” She picked several specks of lint off the coat. “It’s a nice coat, but I don’t think I’ll be able to wear it during the whole pregnancy. I have already gained twenty pounds and still have four months to go.” Seniyah conversed as if nothing was odd about her circumstances.

  “I didn’t know until the last DWAP meeting,” Paige replied. “I didn’t know you were sexually active. When we met last year, you said you were too focused on getting into college to even think about boys. How did this happen?”

  “Would you believe me if I told you I swallowed a watermelon seed?” Seniyah laughed at her own joke, but Paige remained stone-faced. “There’s nothing spectacular to tell,” Seniyah continued after the car next to them pulled off. “I met a guy. He said I was cute. We had sex a few times, and now I’m having a baby.”

  Paige needed more information. “Are you and the father going to get married, or at least rear the child together?”

  Seniyah’s snickering caught Paige off guard. “It ain’t that kind of party, Ms. Paige.”

  “What d-do you mean?” Paige stuttered.

  “Please stop stuttering, before you start speaking in tongues.” Paige expected this kind of taunting from Jasmine, but not from someone of Seniyah’s caliber. “It’s like this. We’re not a couple. We were just hanging out. He already has two babies by his girlfriend. He lives with her to keep from paying child support.” She patted her stomach. “He can’t afford child support for this boy, either, since he can’t get a job due to his felony record. Don’t worry. I’m still going to Stanford. I’ve already signed up for state medical and cash assistance, and I am on the list for child care.”

  “Two kids? How old is this man?” Paige’s voice rose two octaves, but she didn’t care.

  “Twenty-five.”

  Paige walked from one end of the car to the other, praying with each step that the ridiculous scenario that Seniyah had just painted wasn’t real. The girl was an honor student. She had to possess more common sense than this. She stopped abruptly in front of Seniyah; something the girl said had registered.

  “You said, ‘Boy.’ Are you having a boy?”

  For the first time ever, Paige recognized serene pleasure on her face. “Yes. I had a sonogram two weeks ago.”

  A flood of past regret and hidden desire bombarded Paige’s mind and erupted in a warped sense of reality and responsibility. She blinked back tears, thinking how she’d failed Seniyah. Her job was to mentor her, to make her life better, but despite all her efforts, Seniyah was in worse shape now than she had been when they initially met. Could this be why God hadn’t blessed her with another chance at motherhood? She hadn’t shown herself capable of caring for another life.

  God had assigned her to guide Seniyah out of the hood, and she couldn’t even do that without messing up the girl’s life. If only she had paid closer attention to her and had spent more time with her, Seniyah wouldn’t have given herself to a guy just because he labeled her cute. At any rate, God, with His infinite mercy, had just given Paige another chance to right her wrong for good, and this time she would not fail.

  Chapter 17

  For the first time ever, Paige worked from home for nearly a week. She still held to her rigorous daily schedule, rising at 5:00 a.m. and sitting, fully clothed, at her home computer by 7:00 a.m., checking e-mails. She arranged her appointments in the afternoon and late evening so she’d have to leave home only once and would not have to circle back before the church service and her ministry obligations. She didn’t miss a client, a worship service, or a rehearsal and kept her volunteer time at the food bank. At the DWAP meeting, Paige didn’t mind Jasmine taking over and directing the session, since it allowed her to sit in the back and work on her assignment. Since she’d talked with Seniyah, downtime for her was a thing of the past. Every free moment was spent preparing for her new addition.

  She hadn’t shared her complete plan with Seniyah yet, opting to wait until everything was in place. She had shared with Seniyah her commitment to helping her through the pregnancy and to assisting her in caring for her child once it was born, but she hadn’t gone into any details. Instead Paige sprang into action.

  With only about fourteen weeks left of the pregnancy, so much had to be done. One of the spare rooms needed cleaning out and had to be transformed into a nursery. Tomorrow the painter would arrive, and three days later, the decorator was scheduled to begin. In the past two days Paige had spent her last commission online, purchasing a crib, a mattress, bedding, a bassinet, a changing table, a swing, a car seat, a stroller, cloth and disposable diapers, and three different types of bottles. She wasn’t familiar with current baby trends but based her purchases on research and ratings from other new parents. She’d even joined an online new parent group to stay informed about new products and concerns.

  Although a search had yielded reliable child-care resources in her area, Paige determined she’d work from home most of the time and provide primary care for the child during the times Seniyah was away at school. She would also set up a playpen in her work office. Paige had everything covered, but she had yet to figure out how to tell her family and close friends she’d be co-parenting a child soon. Her sister and mother could offer good advice on child rearing, and so could Marlissa and Reyna, but Paige couldn’t take a chance on them not understanding her decision to help Seniyah in this manner. She didn’t talk to people, but she talked to the Lord every day and thanked Him for giving her another chance at motherhood.

  Before heading out to the storage unit she’d rented for the items she cleared from the spare bedroom, Paige checked her e-mail. Checking messages used to be a boring task, but now, after registering on multiple parenting Web sites, her mailbox was always loaded with special offers and exciting newsletters about her new adventure. After she skimmed through an e-mail filled with formula and diaper suggestions, an e-mail about Sergio-Xavier demanded her attention.

  She hadn’t spoken to him in days, since communicating that three of his offers had been accepted. Now the inspection reports were in. She scanned the reports for pertinent information and dia
led his cell. With a child on the way, she needed those deals to close as soon as possible.

  “Hey, Mr. Moneybags. I have some good news for you,” she sang into the phone when he answered, then silently scolded herself for being excited about hearing his voice.

  “Now is not a good time, Paige. I’ve had a rough morning.”

  The warm feeling turned into concern. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you need me to bring you anything? I can—”

  He cut her off. “No, Paige. I just need to be left alone.”

  “Sergio!” she yelled into the phone, but it was useless. He’d already hung up. “What the heck is wrong with him?” she grumbled and pressed the REDIAL button. The call went to voice mail after the first ring, indicating he’d turned his phone off.

  Paige paced the room, more worried than angry. The person on the phone wasn’t the Sergio-Xavier she knew. Even when angry, he’d argue with her, but to dismiss her brashly when she hadn’t said or done anything wrong wasn’t normal. Something wasn’t right, and he had been wrong in his earlier assessment of her character. She wasn’t too self-absorbed to care.

  She dialed Kevin’s number in hopes of finding out what was going on. She didn’t bother with a formal greeting.

  “Kev, what’s going on with Serg-X? I mean, Dr. Simone.”

  Kevin’s chuckling reminded her that she’d forgotten to call and tell him off for trying to fix her up.

  “So it’s true, you guys are good friends. Reyna and I will split the finder’s fee.”

  “Shut up and tell me what’s going on with him. I just spoke to him, and he sounds really down.”

  He continued laughing. “This is hilarious. You’re worried about your man. I can’t wait to tell Tyson and the ladies.”

  What little patience she had ran out. “Kevin Hezekiah Jennings, if you don’t tell me what I want to know, I’m going to come up to that hospital and steal your prosthetic leg,” she yelled. “And he’s not my man!”

  “That was low, Paige.” He whimpered, but Paige knew he was faking being offended. “After all I’ve done for you.”

  “Kevin!”

  “All right. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since this morning. We had breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. He did say he had a heavy case pending today. Maybe that has him in a funk?”

  “Thanks.” Paige had all the information she needed, and ended the call without bothering to say good-bye. She grabbed her purse and keys and raced out of the house. If she hurried, she’d beat the commuter traffic.

  Thirty-five minutes later Paige pulled into the parking lot in Pacifica. Relief rushed through her when she spotted Sergio-Xavier’s car parked in the next row over. She ran directly to the shoreline and then stopped, not knowing which way to go. The beach ran for miles. Sergio-Xavier could be anywhere. She bowed her head and did something she’d never done before. She prayed for her friend.

  Along with the waves crashing against the rocks came more tears. Sergio-Xavier had been walking along the beach for at least an hour, and the cycle had remained the same: waves rolled in, and tears rolled down. The sleeves of his lab coat were so soaked, he no longer bothered to wipe his face. The liquid collected at his chin and formed a stain on his shirt. Sergio-Xavier loved God and his job, but on days like this, he didn’t like either very much. He was so distraught, he’d forgotten to remove his dress shoes before trekking in the sand.

  Usually on hard days he’d walk the beach and meditate and pray. Peace would overtake him and his strength would be renewed, but today the therapy wasn’t working. His heart hadn’t ceased to ache, and his disappointment remained. Just as he was about to abort his quest for comfort, a familiar voice calling his name reverberated over the waves. He turned to find what looked like an angel running toward him.

  Paige, dressed in jeans and an oversize sweater, waved her hands frantically in the air. Her face was void of make-up, and her hair blew wildly in the wind.

  “It’s a good thing I used to run track,” she said once she reached him. “Are you all right?”

  Sergio-Xavier wanted to say he was more than all right now that she was there, but didn’t. “How did you know I’d be here?”

  “You told me you come here on hard days to clear your head. Kevin said you had a tough case today.” She stepped in closer and used her sleeve to wipe his chin dry. “It must have been a very hard case. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Sharing work issues with someone other than a colleague was foreign to Sergio-Xavier. What he was dealing with at the moment, some colleagues wouldn’t fully comprehend. He didn’t need Paige’s off-the-wall comments, either, but she was there, and at the moment he desired human comfort.

  “I may not get the technical terms, but I can listen. Come on, babe. Talk to me,” she pleaded.

  His chest muscles tightened at the sound of the endearing term, and he had to turn away before his true emotions for her poured out. He resumed walking.

  “Today I was called in for a second opinion for a patient who’d been declared brain dead.” He paused when Paige interlocked her arm with his.

  She nodded for him to continue. “Go on. I’m listening.”

  “He was eleven years old and his mother’s only child. He’d fallen off his bike and suffered a traumatic head injury. I pray before examining every patient. Today I prayed extra hard. I wanted so much to tell this mother that her only child would survive.” He sniffled but didn’t wipe his face. “I performed every test three times, but all I could do was confirm what the other doctor had told her. She thanked me and we prayed together, but my heart is broken.” He stopped walking and dropped to his knees and looked up at Paige. “I know God is sovereign, but honestly, sometimes I don’t understand Him. How could He take this woman’s only child after she tried for ten years to conceive?”

  He expected Paige to offer some off-base theological rhetoric, but instead she fell to her knees in front of him and embraced him. When she did open her mouth, the most beautiful sound filled his ears and afforded his soul the healing balm it needed. At the end of the a cappella rendition of “It Is Well with My Soul,” he’d soaked her sweater and some of her hair with his tears.

  “I’ll get you another one,” he offered while attempting to straighten the garment after they ended the embrace.

  She afforded him a smile void of judgment and condemnation. “Don’t worry about it. That’s what friends are for. Next time I’ll blow my nose on your monogrammed shirt.”

  “I’ll be waiting.” He stood and then assisted her to her feet.

  On the walk back to the parking lot, Sergio-Xavier silently acknowledged that Paige’s sudden appearance was more than a coincidence. Today she was divinely tuned in to his needs and was totally selfless in her response. He looked down at his left side and wondered if Paige even realized she was leaning against his body and rubbing his arm. The warmth of her body aided him in his decision not to bring it to her attention.

  “Want to stop by my place for dinner?” Paige offered once they reached her car. “You look better, but you’re not quite there yet.”

  He leaned against the car with folded arms. “Don’t you have choir rehearsal tonight? Be careful, Ms. McDaniels. I might get the impression you like me.”

  Paige smirked. “Now who’s talking stupid? I’m only fulfilling my Christian duty. I can miss one rehearsal for that.” She removed his cell phone from his clip and pressed his keypad. “Before you ask, I’m typing my address into your GPS. Meet me there in an hour,” she ordered, then placed the phone back at his waist and got into the car.

  “Before I agree, can you even cook?”

  She missed slamming his fingers in the door by a hair. “Of course I can cook. I may have to stop at the grocery store first, but I’m a very good cook.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that.” He reached into his wallet and tossed some bills in her lap. “Thank you.” He turned and headed toward his car. Now that his burden had been lifted, Sergio-Xavier needed to p
ray for restraint before meeting Paige for dinner.

  Chapter 18

  The second she tumbled into the house with both arms loaded with grocery bags, Paige realized that inviting Sergio-Xavier over for dinner wasn’t one of her brightest ideas. An hour wasn’t enough time to shower and prepare a dinner that would make a good impression on him. Why did she care about impressing Sergio-Xavier, anyway? Her sprint to her bedroom slowed when her heart spoke the answer she refused to accept. “No,” she said out loud and then continued on. Once inside the bedroom, she sent a text message telling him to give her an additional half hour. Fifteen minutes later Paige had showered and changed into leggings and a long Stanford sweatshirt, and since she hadn’t had a chance to get a pedicure, she’d decided on casual flats instead of mules.

  When the doorbell chimed, the skirt steak was marinating and she was in the middle of chopping onions, tomatoes, and cilantro for her homemade salsa. She answered the door with the knife in her hand.

  “If you need more time, just say so. You don’t have to cut me,” he teased. “If you can’t meet the challenge, I can always order Chinese.” The smile she loved to hate had returned, and so had that smart mouth. He had traded in his slacks and dress shirt for black jeans and a cream mock turtleneck and carried a long, rectangular box.

  “Get in here and close the door behind you. I’ll be right back.” She left him standing in the foyer while she went to start the indoor grill.

  “An indoor charcoal grill . . . That’s a cool amenity.”

  The voice from the archway leading into the kitchen startled her. Sergio-Xavier had followed her instead of waiting in the living room, like she’d requested.

  “Thanks,” she said over her shoulder but continued working. “On the other side of the brick wall is the fireplace for the formal dining room. Since you can’t follow instructions, have a seat at the table. I’ll be finished in about twenty minutes.”