Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  “Come on, lame ass, let’s get moving so you can fly solo.”

  I smooth a hand down the front of my dress, thankful that I remembered to wear a button down shirt on the way to the salon. The emerald green satin dress hugs my curves in all the right places and highlights the flecks of gold in my hazel eyes. My hair is twisted into an elegant updo, soft and curly while accentuating my long neck. An emerald pendant necklace with matching earrings completes my outfit.

  “You look incredible,” Penny says, entering my room.

  “So do you. Don’t let Liam see you. He’ll probably kidnap you and tie you to his bed.”

  There’s a twinkle in her eyes and she smiles brightly. “You think?”

  I make a gagging gesture. “Gross. Forget I said anything.”

  And, on cue, Liam walks into my room but stops short in my doorway.

  “Holy shit, Penny. Are you trying to kill me?”

  “What?” she says innocently, spinning in a slow circle to give him the full view.

  She’s wearing a short, backless, silver halter dress, coming down to her mid-thigh at most, complete with platform silver strappy heels. Her hair is also swept up with several braids integrated throughout. Gold hoops and a gold necklace she got from her parents are her only pieces of jewelry and really, she doesn’t need anything else.

  Liam grabs a pillow off my bed and holds it in front of him. “I need to go now.” He turns and leaves, making Penny laugh quietly.

  “Burn that pillow when you’re done with it,” I yell at him. “I don’t want it after your boner’s been rubbing up against it!”

  I grab my purse off my dresser and smile. “Ready?”

  Penny nods. “Now I am! Mission accomplished.”

  I roll my eyes and usher us down the stairs. “My poor brother. I don’t even want to think about what he’s doing in his room right now.”

  “Maybe I should go in there and find out,” Penny says.

  I shake my head and keep her on the stairs.

  “Don’t even think about it. Just walk. We’re going to be late.”

  “Well if you had a date he could have picked you up and we wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

  “I told you I don’t need one,” I say. We round the corner into the living room where my parents are waiting for us.

  “You girls are positively stunning,” my mom says, clasping her hands in front of her.

  My dad holds up his camera. “Let’s take a picture by the fireplace before you go.”

  We both groan but comply, knowing that it’s just easier to give in. After several different shots and nearly going blind from the flash, we climb into Penny’s car and head towards the high school.

  “Aren’t you going to be cold standing out there during the football game?” I ask her.

  “Aren’t you?”

  “I have more dress on than you do,” I say. “Besides, there’s no way in hell that I’m standing out there the entire time. I’m only going out at halftime to be introduced and then I’m hightailing it back inside where it’s warm.”

  “And duh, what do you think I’ll be doing?” she says with a laugh.

  “Good point.”

  We walk into the warm comforts of the school, noticing how much the homecoming committee has decorated in the few hours we’ve been gone. Blue and white streamers crisscross above us with several balloons hanging from the endcaps of the lockers. We stash our purses and head to the gym to see if they need any help.

  “And now your Somerset High homecoming royalty,” the announcer screams through the speakers.

  The wind has picked up and I’m desperately trying to keep my dress from flying up Marilyn Monroe-style. I look back at the others around me, ten of us total, as they seem to have the same issue. Well, the guys don’t, obviously. The majority of them are on the football team so they’re in their sweaty, smelly uniforms.

  Unfortunately for me, I end up paired with Chase. I swear someone has it out for me. Either that or Chase bribed someone on the committee to make sure he escorted me onto the field.

  “You look beautiful, Britt,” he whispers in my ear.

  “Thanks.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to-”

  “Chase?” I say, cutting him off.

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re getting ready to walk out there.”

  His face falls slightly but recovers right away. “Oh, right.”

  They announce our names and we walk on the red carpet to midfield. When we turn to face the crowd, I give them my best pageant wave. Elbow, elbow. Wrist, wrist. With a fake smile plastered on my face, I scan the crowd to look for the familiar faces among them. I find our small group of friends quickly. It’s not difficult when Justice is holding a sign with our names on it and whistling the loudest. I laugh and look around more to find my parents, who are sitting right beside Penny’s.

  But then my eyes find someone else. Someone whose smoldering stare is holding my gaze in place, making me unable to move or focus on anything else.

  James.

  He stands out plain as day to me, even though he’s with the rest of the faculty near the parent section. But he doesn’t blink as we look at each other. We haven’t had another incident like the one at Sammy’s again, and I’m thankful and sad about that. Part of me wants to run to him every time I see him in the halls or pass him in the teacher’s lounge. Another part of me wants to keep him at arm’s length because I know my treacherous body won’t be able to control its desires again.

  And even though we’ve kept it platonic it’s been hard ignoring my feelings toward him. The passing jokes in the hallways, the way he keeps his distance when I’m helping him with a problem on his computer, the stolen glances I take in class when he’s not looking. All of it just keeps me coming back to him. And the more we talk, the more we discover how much we really do have in common with each other. It’s so hard to find someone who loves to watch stupid comedies and really horrible movies from the 80s and 90s. Or will spend hours surfing YouTube because you need to watch one more music video. And he’s completely right when he says that there’s nothing better than listening to a thunderstorm and the relaxing cadence of the rain as it falls. It’s like finding the best friend I didn’t realize I was missing.

  We’ve had many debates and argued opinions over this past month we’ve known each other. It’s refreshing to have a new opinion; someone who will make you think about how they see the world. Not to change your view, only to broaden it. I guess that’s why he’s such a great teacher. He’s always making you think, even if it’s not about school subjects.

  “Will you at least save me a dance later?” Chase asks as he leans toward me. I almost forgot where I was and who I was with. I blame it on the man I can’t turn away from.

  It takes an enormous amount of effort to turn away from James and look into Chase’s hopeful eyes. I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, I can do that.”

  He kisses the back of my hand, causing the crowd to give a collective aww. But my smile falters when I see the frown on one face in particular. A guilty feeling passes through me as if I’m doing something wrong, even though I’m not. James should know by now that I want nothing to do with Chase. But I can see how the crowd can think something else. Two homecoming royalty walking together, dressed in fancy clothes, and courting each other with a kiss to the hand. It’s all very storybook-ish. Only I want my story to say something else.

  We walk off the field and Chase kisses my cheek quickly before grabbing his helmet and running back to the sidelines with his team. I wipe the sweaty kiss from my skin, hoping that no one saw that.

  “Again, why aren’t you going with him?” Penny says coming up behind me.

  “Because I don’t like him like that.”

  She rolls her eyes and hooks her arm through mine. “You confuse and frustrate me. Come on. Let’s go inside before we both have a wardrobe malfunction in this wind.”

  A steady stream of people have be
en entering the gym for the past hour, raising the temperature from cool and comfortable to humid and sweltering. I’m doing everything I can to avoid becoming a puddle of goo in the middle of the dance floor. Finally someone opens the outside doors, letting in a gust of cool air and we instantly feel the relief.

  Over the last four songs, I’ve watched Penny fling her body all over the floor in a flurry of arms and giggles. Travis hasn’t left her side much and I must say that he cleans up well. Then again he kind of has to since he’s part of the royal court.

  I sit off to the side to save my aching feet. Perhaps my four-inch heels were not the best idea after all, even though they make my legs look fantastic in them. Lyle and Dez are laughing at some joke Drake just told while Cami and Chase dance next to Penny and Travis.

  As I watch the crowd around me, I barely register the person standing beside my chair. He shoves his hands into his pockets while he rocks back on his heels.

  “This is quite the party. How come you’re not out there dancing with everyone else?” James asks just loud enough so I can hear him.

  I crane my neck to look at him and almost fall off my chair. Generally I wouldn’t react to how he dresses because he’s usually very professional, all suit pants and ties. But tonight he looks positively delicious, wearing a dark gray suit with a lighter gray shirt and green tie in the exact same shade of my dress. How did he know?

  I lift my leg up, showing him my heels and shrug. “Apparently these are not conducive to dancing for extended periods of time.”

  James’s eyes start at my toes and travel slowly up my leg, not missing one inch of exposed skin on his way to meeting my eyes. I shiver at his attention, wanting more of it, wanting to show him more skin so I can have that prickling sensation again. He steals my breath away when his eyes change color in front of me, switching from a bright green to a darker shade filled with heat and desire. The familiar lightheaded feeling comes over me as I attempt to stand next to him. With the addition of my heels, it makes us almost eye level and I take advantage of my new view.

  I want to run my hands through his hair, feel his breath on the spot just below my ear as images of that one night come back to my mind. The feel of his soft lips as he kissed me, pressing me into the wall, making my body come undone so easily and without effort.

  James starts to speak but is interrupted when the loud system comes on with a squawk of the microphone.

  “Good evening, students,” Mr. Leonard says, creating a hush around the packed gym.

  I move closer to James as the lights dim more. The smell of his cologne, combined with his close proximity, has my eyelids fluttering, stirring that familiar pull to him that I can’t seem to shake. Our pinkies touch briefly and I try to control my breathing as I inch closer to him. I’ve completely tuned out Mr. Leonard at this point. The only thing I can concentrate on is the man standing next to me.

  Vaguely I’m aware of people being called onto the stage, each getting a bouquet for being in the royal court. But I don’t care about that right now. All I can focus on is the man at my right; close enough to touch but know that I can’t, at least not in the way I want to.

  “You look beautiful tonight,” James says as he leans closer to me.

  My heart beats faster as I snake my pinky out to wrap around his.

  “Thanks. You look handsome as well,” I reply back.

  Our moment is interrupted again, this time by the loud roar of the crowd at the announcement of the king and queen.

  “And this year’s homecoming king and queen are Chase Woodward and Britta Fosse.”

  I reluctantly drop my contact with James and force a smile on my face as several people turn to congratulate me.

  “You better get up there.” He takes a step away from me as he claps. “Don’t want to keep Chase waiting.”

  The bitterness of his words doesn’t escape me. I want to turn to him and tell him that it’s not Chase I want to be up there with. That it’s him, only him. But knowing that it’s not a possibility, I just nod and walk toward the stage with the fake smile still plastered on my face.

  He meets me on stage, his All-American smile intact, and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side. My muscles jump in revolt, but Chase doesn’t seem to notice as he plays it up to the crowd. We stand together as the crowns are placed on our heads, our friends cheering wildly below us.

  “And now we’ll have the royal court dance,” Mr. Leonard says.

  I turn my head to look at him, unbelieving that I honestly have to dance with Chase. My attention turns back to the crowd, searching for James. Only I can’t find him with the lights still dimmed too low.

  Chase pulls me toward the dance floor as a slow song begins playing. He wraps his arms around my waist while I rest my hands on top of his shoulders, making sure our upper bodies are not touching. I need to keep this as friendly as possible.

  We sway back and forth in silence until Chase decides to speak up.

  “You know I had a feeling that we’d be king and queen.”

  “Oh really? Why is that?” I ask.

  He smirks. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re the perfect couple.”

  “Look, Chase…”

  He sighs. “I know, I know. But I don’t understand why. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were little kids and we run in the same circles, have the same friends. We’re always together. Why can’t we be together together?”

  His hands start moving around my hips and rest on the top of my ass. My body goes on alert because the last time he tried this I wasn’t able to fight him off. This time, I don’t have alcohol running through my system and can at least control the situation.

  “Chase? Your hands?”

  He just smiles and his fingers graze over the satin of my dress, drawing circles as they make their way further down.

  “I like this dress,” he says, close to my ear.

  I reach around and grab his hands, moving them back to the safe spot of my hips. He gives me a sly smirk and I shake my head.

  “Do we need to have another conversation like we did the last time your hands wandered?”

  Chase flinches and looks to the side. “I just can’t seem to help myself where you’re concerned. You know I like you. I just wish you liked me too.”

  The song ends and I’m thankful for the chance to get away from him. We pull apart as an upbeat tempo fills the speakers, drawing the rest of the crowd onto the floor.

  “Look, I’m going to get something to drink. I’ll meet up with you later?”

  I don’t give him a chance to respond as I quickly exit the dance floor. I feel bad for turning him down, but I just don’t feel that connection to him, not in the way that he wants. I can’t drag him along when my heart isn’t in it.

  As I walk through the crowd, I try to find James, hoping he’s still where I left him. I turn in circles, but he’s nowhere to be seen. My heart drops a little and I let out a sigh. I’m becoming quite pathetic. Is this how Chase feels all the time? Unrequited love really sucks.

  “Britta! Hey lazy ass, get over here and dance with us!” Penny screams from the edge of the masses.

  I laugh, motioning with my hands that I need to check my phone. She gives me a thumbs up and resumes her organized seizure on the floor.

  My heels click loudly against the marble floors as I stride down the hall. I know no one is going to be calling me. I just needed a minute to breathe. I quickly lean against my locker, allowing the metal to cool my heated skin. Things were getting a little intense in there, at least in my mind they were. Standing next to James and sneaking that small contact with him was enough to wake the dormant beast inside me. It makes me crave more of his touch, more of his time, more of his attention. Just knowing he’s in the same building as me always gets my heart fluttering like crazy anyway. With him looking the way he does tonight, it’s ten times worse.

  I don’t want to head back just yet, so I decide to wander the halls and take the long way bac
k to the gym. Several students pass by, giggling loudly, or giving each other high fives for our blowout win tonight. I’m so ready to not be in high school anymore.

  I should know better than to not pay attention to where I’m going because I find myself walking directly into a brick wall.

  A sharply dressed brick wall.

  The force of the hit causes me to stumble backward on my high heels and I nearly fall over until a pair of strong arms wraps around me, pulling me close to his chest.

  “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.”

  He laughs, and it’s the laugh that I adore. The one that feels like smooth silk wrapping tightly around me, keeping me safe and warm.

  “You have a habit of running into me,” James says.

  “What can I say? It’s a talent of mine. Either that or I’m just drawn to you.”

  Shit, why did I say that? I cringe slightly, not wanting to give myself away, but James ignores the statement or chooses not to address it. He holds onto me a bit longer than normal before releasing me. I smooth the wrinkles out of my dress and look up into his beautiful green eyes.

  “Are you okay?”

  I nod while biting my lip. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just distracted I guess.”

  “Want me to walk you back to the gym?”

  “Sure. I’d like that.”

  We walk side by side down the quiet hall, close enough where I can feel his body heat but far enough away to make it look casual.

  “So how’s the computer program going? I assume it’s going well since you haven’t asked me for help in a while,” I say, wanting to start some kind of conversation.

  He laughs and looks over at me. “Much better now, thanks to you. It was a rough start, but I took your advice and got the remote link on my laptop so now I use it at home to get more practice in.”

  “Good. I’m glad it’s working out for you. I told you it’s a relatively easy program to use.”

  “And as always, you were right.”

  I smile and bump his shoulder. “Such a smart man. You’re learning, Mr. Dumont. Very rarely do I ever get things wrong.”