Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  I watch him wince slightly at the use of his formal name. I’m too afraid to say his first name around here because I’m unsure of who could be listening.

  “So are you going to keep assisting Mrs. Davis after she goes on maternity leave in a few weeks?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. She hasn’t actually said anything about it. I can’t imagine they’ll have me continue on with a substitute. I mean, I guess they could, but I really enjoy working with Mrs. Davis.”

  “How about working for me instead?” he asks.

  I stare back at him. “What? How? I mean, I’m in your class. Pretty sure Mr. Leonard won’t let me do that.”

  “Not this trimester but the next one he would. Unless you plan on taking another class of mine.”

  “Don’t take this personally but there’s no way I’m taking another class of yours,” I laugh.

  “And why not? Am I that bad of a teacher?” he jokes, feigning hurt.

  “It’s not that at all. I think you’re an excellent teacher, especially for one so young. It’s just your subject matter isn’t exactly what I need to continue on to college. This class was one I needed to graduate to get my required social studies credits for. Plus, another trimester with you would be a bad idea.”

  “In my classroom I highly agree,” he says, surprising me.

  I stop and turn to fully face him. I can’t help my eyes as they roam over his body again when he leans toward me. My breath hitches in my chest as he nears me, making me look up and down the hall to make sure no one is coming.

  “And why is that, Mr. Dumont?”

  James smiles and it makes my heart melt. “Because I don’t think I can go another trimester of having you in the same room as me without talking to you like this. I like these little conversations we have but let’s face it, the quick ones in the hall are just not cutting it anymore. Don’t you agree?”

  “Yes.”

  He moves closer again. “So if you don’t have any plans for next trimester I’d like you to be my assistant, if that’s all right with you?”

  His assistant? Work closely with him on projects and assignments and in his office on an everyday basis? I need to pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream.

  “You want me to work for you?” I squeak out.

  He shakes his head. “Not especially but circumstances being what they are I think this would be a perfect solution for us.”

  “Solution to what?” I need to hear him say it so I don’t think I’m going crazy.

  He leans in close to my ear. The warmth of his breath tickles the side of my face. “The solution for us to be together and to get to know each other.”

  “Oh.”

  His hand cups my cheek, making me flush with a mixture of delight and nerves. I didn’t realize how much I crave his touch until I don’t have it. And now that I do, I don’t want to lose it. His eyes look intense, focused solely on me as they flick back and forth between my mouth and my eyes. His thumb gently rubs across my cheekbone while his fingers play with the lobe of my ear.

  “You’re so beautiful Britta.” His forehead rests on mine. My hands reach up to stroke the side of his face, gliding over the freshly shaved skin. “Can I kiss you?”

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  We lean toward each other, letting our bodies take the lead. The first contact of his lips sends a shock through my system. They’re warm and soft, just as I remember from a month ago, yet restrained and cautious. Again we’re playing with fire but the heat feels so good that we just can’t stop.

  A month is too long to go without these lips again, to go without the gentle touch of his hand or look deeply into his eyes and see the secrets he’s not telling me.

  I risk the chance of taking it further by running my tongue along his lower lip, tasting and teasing until his own tongue greets mine. The minute they touch, I know I’m done for. The taste of peppermint and what can only be James fills my mouth, feeding my addiction even more.

  We breathe the same air as our tongues dance together. We hold each other close, not wanting to let the other move away. I can feel his heart beating against my chest. He must feel the same as I do because my heart is matching his rhythm beat for beat, as if they were the same organ.

  Laughter filters down the hallway and we pull apart, breathless and dazed. His eyes are still shining, still giving me the warm feeling that I’m addicted to every time I see him.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” He smiles, releasing my face and backing up several steps so there’s a comfortable distance between us.

  The frantic beating of my heart is still pounding in my chest. Our eyes stay locked onto each other as I pull myself off the wall on shaky legs.

  “I’m glad you did,” I say, finally responding to him.

  He laughs and we resume walking toward the gym to join the rest of the student body. He stops me before we walk through the doors, lightly touching my elbow.

  “Thank you for not apologizing this time.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for,” I say. “We’re both adults and there’s an obvious attraction between us that I’m refusing to believe is wrong for us to pursue. We just have to be smart about this. Part of me wants to see where this can go, even though I know a relationship is not possible.”

  James smiles and nods. “You’re right. A relationship is not possible. We’ll just have to think of something else.”

  The air stills around us as we remain motionless. How do we move on when going forward isn’t an option?

  Pushing a smile onto my face, I do the one thing I know will ignite a reaction from him. “So I guess I’ll see you Monday afternoon then, Mr. Dumont?”

  He grumbles and lowers his head to my ear again. “It drives me wild to listen to you call me Mr. Dumont. When we’re not in class, use my first name. Otherwise I cannot promise to behave myself.”

  I giggle and press a hand to his chest. “Well, right now we’re in a public setting in school so unfortunately you’re going to have to control yourself, Mr. Dumont.”

  James rolls his eyes and it makes me giggle again. “God I love that sound. And I wish I could dance with the queen just once out there. But I’ll have to take a raincheck.”

  “Promise?” I ask, my voice filled with hope.

  “Promise.”

  Something passes between us, making both of us take a sharp intake of breath. His hand covers mine on his chest and he squeezes it quickly before releasing me. We smile and move away from each other, going our separate way for the rest of the night. But the smile remains plastered on my face and this time it’s not faked.

  “THIS WEEK BLOWS BALLS,” PENNY says, slamming her locker shut.

  I turn to face her, unable to help the laugh from escaping me. “Why is that?”

  She blows some hair off her forehead and pins me with a stare. “Seriously? It’s test week since it’s the end of the trimester. And I have a test every single day. How in the hell am I supposed to carry on my social life and study for every single class?”

  “I guess your social life is going to have to wait until the weekend,” I say. “Are we still leaving Friday night?”

  She nods. “Yep. I have the tickets in hand and everything.” Penny chews on her bottom lip before meeting my eyes again. “Hey, question for you. Would you mind terribly if you stayed in your own room?”

  I raise a questioning eyebrow to her. “Why?”

  Penny stops and faces me. “Because Travis is going to be there too and, well, you know.”

  I hold my hand up to stop her from saying anything else. “No need to elaborate. I’ll get my own room. It’s no big deal. But I’m making sure it’s on a different floor and on the opposite side of the hall from you two. The last thing I want to hear is you two having sex.”

  She laughs and hugs me tightly. “You’re the best, you know that?”

  “I know. I’m a goddamned angel.”

  We stop outside the teacher’s lounge and wave go
odbye to each other. I make my way to Mrs. Davis’s office and boot up her computer before taking out my dish of leftover stir-fry. I decide to heat it up now while I’m waiting for some update to load so I go over to the microwave and set the timer.

  Several teachers pass by me, saying hi and asking me how things are going. It’s nice and strange at the same time that they don’t care if a student is back here. Then again, they’re used to seeing me back here all the time so it’s not that big of a deal anymore.

  The timer dings and I take the bowl out, shuffling it back and forth in my hands in an attempt not to burn myself.

  “You know that works better if you use a paper towel or napkin to hold it,” a strong masculine voice says behind me.

  My lips quirk up into a half-smile at his voice and my heart does that recognizable flutter in my chest.

  “Is that so? Well, thank goodness you’re around so I don’t do something stupid and get a boo-boo.”

  James laughs and sets down his own plate of food on the counter. “A boo-boo?”

  “Yep. But I guess then I’d have to go see the school nurse and I highly doubt she’d kiss it and make it better.”

  His eyes flash instantly and my body reacts. He leans closer so only I can hear. “If anyone is going to be kissing anything away for you, it’ll be me.”

  My mouth goes dry as I bring a hand up to my throat. That is just about the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me. I blink several times, unsure of how to respond.

  “Really?” I whisper. My voice is hoarse with need.

  James pins me with a stare and my nipples tighten almost painfully in my bra. Luckily it’s padded so he can’t see my reaction. The way he’s looking at me, devouring me with his eyes makes me want to lock us in a closet somewhere and explore what we’re both apparently thinking.

  My eyes flick down his body briefly, wondering if there are signs of a similar reaction. That’s when I notice his stance is turned toward the counter, hiding the front of his pants. He pretends to look for something in the cupboard and I can see the corners of his lips are turned up with a smile.

  “No one will kiss anything away from you but me. That is a promise.” He turns his head to look at me and I bite my lip. “Don’t do that,” he says lowly.

  “Why?”

  He shuts the door and whispers in my ear. “Because it drives me wild when you do.”

  My breathing becomes labored, desperate to drag in the precious air I need. “I thought calling you Mr. Dumont drove you wild?”

  “Both of those things do. As a matter of fact, there isn’t much about you that doesn’t drive me wild.”

  “Friends,” I say, swallowing hard. “We’re friends, remember?”

  James backs away, nodding his head. “Right. Friends.”

  I take my now cooled bowl of food and grab a fork from the drawer. “I need to get my work done. I’ll see you later.”

  I quickly walk back to Mrs. Davis’s office before he can respond. If I stay with him any longer, I think my body would break down and give in to my craving.

  Through the jumbled haze of my brain, I remember that I need to book a room for the weekend. I pull up one of the discount booking websites and start entering in my information after selecting a king room in the hotel we’re staying at.

  I turn my head when someone knocks on the door and come face to face with a guilty-looking James.

  “Hey,” I say, putting my credit card on the desk.

  “Hey.” He walks in and sits in the empty chair next to the desk. He folds his hands and rests his elbows on his knees, slumping over slightly. “Look, about what happened out there…”

  I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t say it. We need to stop apologizing to each other for our feelings. We’re not doing anything wrong so we have nothing to apologize for.”

  “But what I said-”

  “What you said was the single hottest thing anyone has ever said to me. And I refuse to listen to an apology that will take it back. If you don’t like me, fine. Apologize. But then don’t say anything like that to me again and we’ll stick to safer topics, like the grass or the weather instead of the innocent flirting we’ve been doing.”

  The heat I saw before in his eyes flashes again, making my body react in the same way. “This is really not fair.”

  I shake my head. “No, it’s not. But it is what it is so we just need to deal with it.”

  James straightens up and nods. “You’re right. I’m not sorry for what I said, but I’ll remember to only say those things when I’m able to make good on the words.”

  My lips turn up in the corners, giving him a shy smile. “Good.”

  He turns his head to look at the monitor. “Going out of town?”

  I nod. “Penny and I are going to a concert in Boston this weekend. Apparently I need to get my own hotel room, though.”

  “You’re going by yourselves?” he asks, inching his chair closer.

  “Originally it was supposed to be just me and Penny, but Travis is coming as well. Which is why I need to get my own hotel room.”

  “What concert are you going to see?” he asks, leaning his elbow on the desk.

  “Foo Fighters. We’ve been dying to see them for a while and they’re finally playing around here.”

  “That’s quite the drive for you both. And your parents are okay with you going?”

  I nod. “They trust us and know that we’re not going to do anything to put ourselves in danger. Plus we’ve been to Boston before and have come back alive so it’s been tested and proven that we’re reliable. That tends to help.”

  “Sounds like you’re going to have an excellent weekend. Are you staying just Saturday night?” he asks.

  “No, we’re making a whole weekend of it. We’re leaving right after school on Friday. It’s our reward for the end of the trimester.”

  “I love the Foo Fighters. They’re one of my favorite bands, right next to Collective Soul.”

  “You like Collective Soul too?” I ask, my eyes wide.

  He nods. “Yep. I’ve loved them since I was younger. I play their Seven Year Itch album nonstop in my car on long drives.”

  Now it’s my turn to lean back in the chair. “No way. That has all the best songs on there. It’s my addiction when I need a pick me up.”

  “That’s funny. Let me guess, you also play the Foo Fighters Greatest Hits album as well.”

  I laugh and nod in agreement. “The CD for my car and the DVD for at home because the videos are so funny. The one where Jack Black and Dave Grohl are in the motel room kills me every time, along with the mock Mentos commercial one.”

  “Big Me is hands down my favorite video of theirs. Dave Grohl is a genius. And I guess I’m kind of surprised you’re that big on those two bands. I figured you’d be more into the pop dance craze.”

  I roll my eyes. “I like some of the songs from the AT40 charts, but a lot of them are too childish and sound like tweenage crap. I like the older stuff because that’s when music was about music and not about making millions of dollars or putting out albums faster than you can process the last one.” I pause. “And yes, Dave Grohl is a genius.”

  “Wow. I think I just fell in love with you.” James laughs silently and my breath stills in my lungs for the briefest of seconds. I know he’s kidding but oh how I wish those words could be real at some point.

  James notices my silence and reaches out to grab my hand, cradling it in his before gently tugging on it, bringing my chair closer to him.

  “It’s amazing how much we have in common,” I murmur. He nods in agreement. “It almost makes me wonder if you’re real or just some figment of my imagination.” He nods again. “Are you?”

  He presses his forehead against mine. “I’m real Britta. And I wonder the same thing as well, if everything is just my imagination or if this truly is a reality.”

  I resist the urge to close the distance between our lips. “Currently it’s a cruel reality.”


  “It won’t be much longer. This is the last week you’re going to be my student.”

  “You’re right. But then I’ll be working for you and that will just add to a whole new set of complications.”

  He shakes his head, making mine shake as well. “No complications. This will alleviate them. I’ll be able to see you more often like this. It’ll be good. I promise.”

  Several voices can be heard just down the hallway and we push away from each other. I turn back to my screen and resume typing my information in, which I now have to do over again since the session timed out.

  James glances down at his watch. “Damn. I’m going to be late again. You are giving me a bad habit of being late to my fifth-period class.”

  I side-eye him and raise an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I’m not the one holding you back from anything. If you’re late, that’s all on you, buddy.”

  The warm laugh that I adore fills the room again and my body heats up at the sound. “You’re right. No one is responsible for my actions except me.” He turns while shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you in class, Ms. Fosse.”

  “Goodbye, Mr. Dumont,” I chirp, enjoying the quiet groan I hear as he leaves the office.

  That man is going to be the death of me. One minute he’s too intense and then the next minute it’s like we’re best friends. But he’s my addiction, my craving, and I constantly need my next fix of him to function. Yes, it’s wrong to rely on someone else for your happiness, but James is slowly weaving himself into my life, making it so I can’t let him go. There’s something there between us and I need to figure out what it is. It could be love. It could be lust. It could be all in my head at this point but, no matter what, I need to follow my instincts with this because rarely do they ever let me down.

  WE PULL INTO THE PARKING lot of the hotel and quickly unload our bags from the trunk. After hours in the car, we all need to just stretch and relax. Being the nice person I am, I let Penny sit up front with Travis. It was worth the potential for motion sickness to hear the happiness in her voice. We quickly check into the hotel and make our way up to Penny and Travis’s room first.