Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  “What did you think of Mr. Dumont’s test today? That was brutal,” Penny says, flopping onto her king-sized bed. Travis pulls their bags further into the room and drops them at the end of the bed, letting them crash together before he jumps on top of her. Her squeals of delight make me want to run to my room as quickly as possible before clothes start flying at my head.

  “Travis! Stop! Not while Britta’s here.”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, please. I don’t need to see any naked asses or any other body parts. My virgin eyes won’t be able to take it.”

  Travis laughs. “Are those the only part of you that are virgin?”

  Penny smacks him in the chest. “So uncalled for. Plus that’s my line.”

  I laugh at the both of them. “I thought Mr. Dumont’s test wasn’t bad at all. I finished early and waited patiently for the rest of you.”

  “Yeah, but you’re a brain so that’s to be expected. You ace everything you do. It’s kind of sick in a way,” Travis mutters, nuzzling into Penny’s hair.

  She moves in between his legs with her back pressed against his chest and his legs crossed over hers.

  “I don’t know. It was hard, but I don’t think it was the worst one I took all week. Mr. Johnston’s was worse by far.”

  I shrug my shoulders and take a seat in one of the empty chairs in the corner. “I only had four tests so it wasn’t that bad.”

  “That’s because you’re an assistant for two periods. Man did you ever luck out there,” Travis says. Penny squeals quietly as he tickles her on her sides.

  “You could have the same problem too if you had taken the early morning classes starting in ninth grade,” I say.

  “Screw that. As if I’m giving up my sleeping in time. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll suffer through falling asleep in my classes and passing because of sports,” he responds.

  “Well, I’m going to find my room and let you two do…whatever.”

  “Hey, what’s your room number so we can call you and meet up later?” Penny asks.

  I pull out the white envelope that houses my key and look at the number scribbled on the flap. “I’m in 820.”

  “Dude that’s like three floors away from here,” she says.

  “Perfect. Then I’m just far enough away from you two so I won’t get hives trying to block out images and noises.”

  They both laugh and wave to me as I lug my suitcase out the door and toward the elevator. I quietly hum a song that’s stuck in my head while I wait patiently for the car to arrive. When I hear the ding, I prepare to enter through the open doors but am momentarily frozen in place.

  What I’m not prepared for is to be looking at beautiful green eyes paired with a smile that stops my heart every time I see them.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” he says.

  My mouth slacks open; stuck somewhere between talking and breathing. There’s a tightness in my chest and confusion clouds my vision. Why is he here? How did he get here?

  “What…how…when…”

  James laughs and holds the door open until a buzzing noise can be heard. “You getting in or are you going to wait until they send maintenance to figure out what’s wrong with the elevator?”

  I snap out of my stupor and pull my bag inside, leaving some distance between its only occupant and me.

  “Which floor?” he asks with a knowing smirk.

  “Why do I have the feeling you already know?” I say, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

  His eyes travel over my body, staying a tad longer on my raised breasts due to the placement of my arms. James presses the door close button and I notice that my floor is already illuminated.

  “You think you’re so smart. Why are you here?”

  The air is thick as we travel the three floors up; thick with desire and nervousness and I’m unsure who it’s coming from. Maybe it’s from him or maybe it’s from me or the combination of the both of us. But my heart skips a beat when he moves closer. His warm breath falls upon my cheek, sending a round of tingles to travel through my bones.

  “I’m here for the concert. Why else would I be here?”

  My hands tremble near my sides, thankful that they’re hidden beneath my arms so he can’t see them shake.

  “And you just happen to be in this hotel?”

  “Yes.”

  We look at each other and start to close the distance between us until the ding of the elevator stops us from moving. The doors open to our floor and the rush of cool air assaults my face. I didn’t realize how flushed I was until that moment.

  I grab my bag and roll it off the elevator. He places his hand on my lower back as if it’s the most natural thing. The fit is perfect, settling right into the curve of my spine. My skin hums as we walk down the hall, only just now registering that he’s ushering me right to my room.

  “You know which room is mine, don’t you,” I state as a matter of fact.

  He doesn’t answer, just gives me that knowing smile again.

  “Unbelievable,” I mutter. That gets a laugh from him.

  “Yes, I know which room is yours. How do you think I was able to get mine right across the hall?”

  We pause outside of our doors. I feel like I’m in shock or disbelief at what’s happening right now. He’s tracked me down to my hotel, making sure that his room is right near mine.

  “James, what are you doing?” I breathe, leaning against my closed door.

  He runs a nervous hand through his hair. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve never done something this impulsive before. But when you said that you’d be going to Boston essentially by yourself, I just had to be there, in case something happened to you. There’s just this feeling that’s been bugging me since you told me.”

  “Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Besides, Penny and Travis are here. How are you going to explain any of this to them? I mean you have to admit it looks suspicious.”

  “What’s there to explain? It’s not like I’m asking to be your date for the whole weekend. We may not even see each other so they’ll never know I’m here. It’s a big city with millions of people. Surely I can blend in with them.”

  I laugh at the absurdity of this whole situation. “You blend in about as well as a giant among pygmies. I can always find you in a crowd.”

  He steps closer, pressing my back further into my door. “As can I. Your long brown hair, your gorgeous hazel eyes, your full pink lips, all of it stands out to me. Everywhere I go, I swear I see you. It’s like you’re stuck in my head and I can’t shake you out. Do you know what I mean?”

  Is he saying everything that’s always running around my head, reading my thoughts perfectly? I lick my dry lips, his intense stare following my tongue.

  “Yes,” I breathe. “I do know what you mean. But we can’t act on it. We’re still in a situation that prevents us from doing anything about it.”

  “Correction,” he says, pushing some hair behind my ear. “I’m no longer your teacher and you’re no longer my student.”

  “But, next trimester-”

  “Next trimester,” he interrupts, “you’re my colleague. You’ll be working with me instead of me teaching you.”

  I shake my head and look to the floor. “That’s not entirely accurate. I’ll be working for you, not with you. You’ll still be in a position of authority.”

  Two fingers are placed under my chin, lifting my hazel eyes to his green. “That’s not how I see it. You’re my equal, in everything. That’s what I see when I look at you. Not a student, not an assistant. An equal, a match. My match.”

  “James.”

  Our lips find each other in the short distance, moving slowly at first, savoring the taste of each other. His fingertips brush gently over my cheek, sending another round of chills through my body. My hands slide up his stomach and chest, tracing the hard lines beneath the cotton of his shirt before wrapping around his neck, pulling our bodies closer.

  I need him l
ike I need my next breath. My addiction is becoming dangerous and I feel like I’m losing a piece of myself every time I’m near him. And he’s picking up each piece and holding onto them, keeping them safe until I can fully give him everything I have.

  He breaks away first, his fingers stalling at the hollow dip of my throat. The frantic beating of my heart roars through my ears and a million different sensations make my skin extremely sensitive to his touch.

  “You better get into your room,” he says huskily. He’s as affected as I am, as evidenced by the tightening of his pants.

  “You too.”

  He backs away and my body feels cold without his heat near me. I fumble with the keycard, finally putting it into the slot on the third attempt. His voice stops me before I close my door.

  “Britta?”

  “Yeah?”

  He runs another hand through his hair and looks up at me. “This sounds extremely cheesy but can I get your phone number? I’d like to see you tomorrow if it’s possible.”

  A smile crawls across my face. Jutting the latch for the door out so I don’t get locked out, I walk over to him as he holds out his phone to me. Quickly entering my information into it for him, I smile and hand it back.

  “Give me a call sometime,” I say, walking backward to my propped open door.

  James looks down at his phone and smirks. “I like the smiley face after your name.”

  “Goodnight, James.”

  “Goodnight, Britta.”

  I close the door behind me and secure it, just in case he’s used his charm and somehow got a key to my room as well. It wouldn’t shock me if he did. My fingers trace my lips; his kiss still lingering there makes me smile wider.

  As I’m unpacking my suitcase, my phone beeps in my purse. Knowing who it is, I quickly swipe at the screen.

  HI.

  Hi? I give him my phone number and all he types is hi? What the hell?

  Another message comes through, this time making me laugh.

  SORRY, THAT WAS LAME.

  I settle against the headboard of my bed, barely noticing how comfortable I am in having this conversation with my former teacher. Can I call him a former teacher? Don’t think, just feel I tell myself.

  YOU’RE REALLY BAD AT THIS YOU KNOW.

  His response is almost immediate.

  I’M NERVOUS.

  SERIOUSLY? YOU’RE 22. YOU SHOULD BE OVER THAT.

  IT’S NOT MY AGE. IT’S YOU THAT MAKES ME NERVOUS.

  ME?

  I LIKE YOU.

  Whoa. That’s probably the first time he’s ever directly said anything like that to me. Yes, we’ve been dancing around it, saying we feel something toward each other but nothing this direct, at least not that I can remember saying out loud. My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I type my reply.

  I LIKE YOU TOO.

  HOW MUCH?

  A LOT.

  CAN I KISS YOU AGAIN?

  YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK. YOU CAN JUST KISS ME.

  There’s a knock on my door and I smirk, knowing who’s going to be on the other side. I open the door wide and am greeted by his hands cradling my face. His warm breath beats on my lips followed by the gentle brush of his mouth against mine. He steals my breath on a gasp and I succumb to the kiss, grabbing his biceps to keep him close. His fingers thread through my hair as his tongue explores my mouth, gently probing inside with slow, deep licks.

  This kiss consumes me, igniting a fire within that cannot be extinguished. It’s everything I want from a kiss and more because it’s from him. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest and I fight the urge to drag him into my room.

  We slowly pull away, keeping each other in our sight. With a gentle brush of his lips against my nose, he smiles and backs away.

  “That is a proper goodnight,” he says, swiping his key in the lock.

  “Uh huh,” is all I can say. He’s kissed me speechless, which is quite the feat I must say. I’m always the girl who knows what to say and when to say it. But as this beautiful man stands across the hall, looking at me as if I’m the only person in the world, all my words are gone. Nothing is left. The only thing that remains is him.

  “Goodnight, Britta. Get some sleep.”

  “Uh huh.”

  I’m left with his quiet laugh as his door shuts and latches, leaving me standing in the doorway in a stupor. He just kissed me to within an inch of my life and then left me to dwell on it. Turning back into my room, my head fuzzy and dazed, I lie on my bed and stare at the white ceiling above me.

  He likes me.

  I like him.

  He kissed me.

  He’s the best kisser I’ve ever kissed.

  This is bad.

  I’m so fucked.

  STRETCHING FEELS GOOD AFTER A night of tossing and turning, being unable to get the kiss out of my head long enough to settle my body down. Damn his perfect lips, his perfect face and eyes. Damn him for being a teacher and not meeting him six months from now when we would be able to make a go of it.

  My phone beeps next to me and I run a hand down my face, still trying to wake up. I glance at the screen and roll my eyes at Penny’s name.

  DUDE YOU AWAKE?

  BARELY.

  YOU HUNGRY?

  I look at the clock and register that it’s only seven.

  NOT NOW BUT IN A BIT.

  My phone rings and I’m guessing she has more to say than what she’ll be able to type.

  “So Trav and I want to get a head start on wandering around today. Can you be ready in an hour?”

  I fall back onto my pillow and throw my other arm over my eyes. “Do I have to? I mean, can’t I just meet you somewhere later today? I’m exhausted and would like to just veg for a while.”

  “I don’t want to ditch you here in a hotel by yourself. That wasn’t my intention when I invited Travis to come along.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m a big girl. I can entertain myself just fine.” I look over at the door and smile, thinking of how I could pass the time if I had the chance. “How about we meet up for lunch or something later? Let’s say around one?”

  Rustling and giggling come over the line and I hold the phone away from my ear slightly due to her high-pitched squeal.

  “One sounds fine. How about that café down the street?”

  “Your favorite one with the kickass panini?” I ask.

  “Yep, that’s the one.”

  I nod. “Sold. I’ll meet you there at one. This way you guys can have some time alone together. If anything changes or you need more time, just let me know by noon so I can plan accordingly.”

  “You’re the best Britt. Love you lots.”

  “Love you too. Bye, nut job.”

  I hit end call and place the phone back on the table next to the bed. Now I’m fully awake when I don’t need to be. God this sucks.

  Another beep of my phone and I’m half tempted to throw it across the room. I just want to get some sleep but I’m happy to see the newly saved contact name on my screen.

  YOU AWAKE?

  YOU’RE THE SECOND PERSON TO ASK ME THAT ALREADY THIS MORNING.

  LOL. HUNGRY?

  YOU’RE TWO FOR TWO SO FAR. ARE YOU GOING TO DITCH ME AS WELL TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?

  YOU’RE BY YOURSELF THIS MORNING?

  LOOKS THAT WAY.

  I wait for his reply while twirling the phone between my fingers. What is taking so long for him to respond?

  The knock on my door is the answer to my question. I throw the covers off me and pad barefoot over to the door, holding it open just enough to look at the impeccably handsome man staring back at me.

  “Morning,” he rasps. Man, his early morning voice is sexy.

  “Morning.”

  “Can I come in?” He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. How can I say no to that?

  I open the door and stand to the side, staying partially hidden behind it. James walks past me and I fluff my hair slightly as I secure the do
or again. I turn and find him standing in front of my bed, just staring at me.

  “Um, I’m going to go in here for a quick second. Be right back,” I say, pointing to the bathroom.

  He doesn’t say anything, just nods his head and smiles. I quickly dash inside and begin to make myself halfway presentable; brushing my teeth and hair and trying to make more of the tank top and sleep shorts that I’m wearing. A futile effort but I have to try. My choices are to have half of my ass hanging out or most of my stomach showing. I opt for the stomach, the lesser of two evils.

  When I walk back into the main room, I find him sitting on the edge of my bed, his hands folded neatly in his lap. He’s wearing jeans and a sweater, perfect for the early winter weather. I know technically it’s still considered fall, but it is positively freezing outside. But his sweater looks nice and warm and soft that I want to just cuddle up next to him and nuzzle my face into his chest.

  James clears his throat when I lean against the wall and twist my fingers together in front of me.

  “Are you going to get dressed?”

  I look down and smirk. “I am dressed. See, clothes?”

  He shifts on the bed and looks mildly uncomfortable. “I can see that. There’s not a whole lot there, though.”

  I roll my eyes and walk closer to him. “I’m covering all necessary parts. Nothing is inappropriately showing.”

  He runs a hand over his face and I sit on the corner of the bed, far enough away from him so he doesn’t completely lose his shit. He’s uncomfortable, I can tell, but at the same time I can feel the need radiating off him. James looks everywhere except at me.

  “Do I make you nervous?” I ask quietly.

  He turns his head and smirks. “I think I answered that question last night. But just in case you weren’t sure, yes, you make me nervous. Especially when you’re barely dressed and looking how you do at this moment.”

  “And how do I look?”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  I shake my head, genuinely wanting to know what he’s thinking.

  “You look radiant, sitting there with your messy bed hair and wild eyes that still have a touch of sleep to them. Like you’re just waking up from a dream. Seeing you this way is better than any other time I’ve looked at you. Even more than homecoming night when you were dressed in your finest. This simple look, this everyday look, is when you’re at your most beautiful.”