Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  I grab his hand and guide it to my full and aching breast. He kneads it slowly through the thin lace of my bra, making my nipple harden almost painfully. He shifts his weight to one side, slowly moving between me and the couch so we’re facing each other. I rest my head on his outstretched arm, wedging my other arm between us at the perfect point of contact for his growing erection. My fingertips play with him through his flannel pants and he takes a sharp intake of breath.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  I can’t hide my amusement as I bite my lip. “Usually it’s the girl who questions the sexual motives, not the guy.”

  He smirks and kisses the end of my nose. “Funny. But I need you to be sure about this because once we start we can’t go back. Everything will change.”

  I slide my hand against his jaw, the stubble lightly scraping the pads of my fingers. “Everything changed the moment I saw you.”

  I bring his face closer to mine and kiss him with everything I have. His hand slides down my side, down across my thighs before coming up my back and twisting into the hair at the nape of my neck. I feel like I’m on fire, burning with an intense need for this beautiful man before me.

  Grabbing his hair lightly, I twist it between my fingers and bring his lips to my neck, needing to feel the press of his mouth against my skin. He shifts his body lower, dragging his lips with him as I pant out my breaths and give in to the myriad of sensations running wildly through me. He’s gentle with his touch, something I’ve never experienced with another guy before. The others always rushed to the end goal. They never took their time to explore and worship. And that’s exactly what James is doing right now. Worshiping me.

  When his lips find an aching nipple under my bra, I moan with delight. James pulls the cup down, exposing it to the air, which makes it pucker even more. My hips move of their own accord as his tongue makes contact with the sensitive flesh, flicking it lightly before taking it fully into his eager mouth. The feel of his warm mouth has me panting out his name, begging him to continue.

  “You’re perfect. So very perfect.” He blows on it again and I arch my back into him. Curling my leg around his, I drag his thigh between my legs and press my needy core against it.

  “God, James, that feels so good,” I breathe. My fingers gently stroke the outline of his erection through his pants and his hips move in time with mine. I’ve never felt this level of passion before, from myself or someone else. I need to see how far we can go, how high we can climb.

  He bites down on my nipple and I cry out while gripping his shoulder tightly. A desperate need to feel him inside me pulses through me as I attempt to wrap my legs around his waist.

  I’m about to roll him on top of me and beg him to do just that when I hear my phone rings somewhere in the distance. A specific ringtone dedicated to the one person who I do not want to think of at this moment.

  My hand pauses its movements, as does his tongue against my skin.

  “Fuck,” I groan, closing my eyes as my head rolls backward.

  “Ignore it,” he says, letting his lips trail against my skin again.

  I wiggle and he pulls back, the haze of lust still lingering in his eyes. We sit up and I adjust my bra back into the correct position. “I can’t. It’s Liam.”

  James runs a hand over his face, threading it through his hair before grabbing his neck and pulling down. I kiss his mouth quickly before padding my way to my purse. I remove the phone as it starts up again.

  “I’m fine. I’m safe. No need to send out the rescue squad,” I say, walking back to James, who is adjusting his rather impressive erection on the couch.

  “Where are you?” he asks. The calmness of his voice relaxes me. It’s a good indication that he’s not annoyed at my sudden departure. But rarely does he ask questions without knowing the answers already, so I keep my guard up slightly and brace for the impact of my reply.

  “James picked me up. I’m at his house.”

  The silence on the line is deafening. I have to look at the phone several times to make sure the call wasn’t dropped. James places his hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

  “Are you mad?” I ask tentatively.

  Liam blows out a slow breath. “No, I’m not mad. I was worried about you. You ran off and I didn’t know who found you or where you were. Lyle told me you got picked up by a friend after another incident with Chase, who, by the way, is going to lose his balls the next time I see him.”

  I lay my head against James’s shoulder. “No need. I took care of his balls for you. Where are you?”

  “I took Penny home, but I’m sitting outside of her house, waiting for her light to turn off.”

  “Stalker.”

  “I need to make sure she’s okay.”

  “She’s fine. You took care of her. No need to worry about her anymore tonight.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you both.”

  James kisses the top of my head and I know he can hear our conversation. “You don’t need to protect me. I already have someone lined up for that job.” I can feel his smile against the crown of my head and my heart melts a little more.

  “Are you still sure about this?”

  I tilt my head to look at James and I know my answer. “With all my heart.”

  “Okay then. Look, Mom and Dad are expecting us home tonight so I should probably come get you.”

  Disappointment fills me at knowing I need to leave. James grabs the phone from my hands and brings it to his ear.

  “Liam? This is James. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to bring her home. I can have her there in ten minutes. I don’t live far away.”

  I wait patiently for Liam to erupt or have some sort of reaction. But it’s quiet and muffled and I can only make out what James is saying, which isn’t much. A lot of yes’s and no’s, absolutely’s and I will’s…typical guy talk. But then a smile crosses his face and I know that he just won Liam’s approval. He hands the phone back to me and I quickly kiss the corner of his mouth.

  “See you in a few.”

  I end the call and place the phone on the coffee table. “What did Liam say?”

  He smiles and runs his hand through my hair. “He asked a lot of questions I would expect a protective older brother to ask. But the main one was if I truly cared for you as more than just a conquest, as someone who I would protect with my life.” I bite my lip at the smile that crosses his beautiful face, and I know the answer without him saying it.

  “Thank you,” I say, kissing him softly. He helps me put my discarded dress back on, taking great care not to touch me again. I’m sure I know the reasons why.

  “He’s a good brother for wanting to protect you.”

  I nod and face him. “You’re a good man for wanting to protect me too.”

  “Should we be worried that Liam knows?”

  I shake my head. “Liam won’t tell anyone. I trust him.”

  His hands run up and down my arms before leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead.

  “Well, then I better stay in his good graces and bring you home. We’ll continue this another time.”

  “Promise?”

  When our lips meet, I can feel the answer all the way down to my toes.

  “Promise.”

  As he drives me back to my house, I can’t help but look over at his profile in the muted light from the street lights outside. And for the first time I think I can truly admit to myself that I am falling for James, harder than I ever thought. I just hope that we can make it through the next six months without any bumps along the way.

  “HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM yet?” Penny asks as we walk to my first-period class. Usually, I’d be walking with Chase since we have class together, but seeing as we’re not on speaking terms right now it’s Penny who has taken the job instead.

  I shake my head and purse my lips. “Nope. And it’s probably a good thing too because I’m still pretty pissed off that he ruined my entire winter break that night.”


  “What a dick. I hope you never forgive him. I mean, it was completely unacceptable the shit that he pulled. I just wish I could have seen you kick him in the balls.”

  “He had it coming. Twice he had to be told to leave me alone and twice he ignored it. Although he got off easy with me doing it instead of Liam. I had to talk him off the wall and reassure him he did not have to go back and defend my honor.”

  Penny looks down and scuffs her feet against the marble floor. “Well, that’s because he was too busy protecting my honor. God, I feel so stupid right now. I mean, how could I not have seen that coming? And with Sarah? I felt so sorry for her, even though I don’t think I should.”

  We pause in the hall and head to a corner to talk without interruption. “No, you should feel sorry for her too because she was duped by Travis, just like you were. Although the way word gets around no one will be going after him for a while. Once you’re branded a cheater and a dirtbag you’re pretty much blacklisted as boyfriend material by every girl in school.”

  “But that won’t stop them from sleeping with him just because.”

  I shrug. “Then those girls are idiots. Just don’t give him another thought. You deserve so much better than him. Besides, you’ve got me.”

  “And Liam.”

  My eyebrow rises at the mention of his name. “Yes, and Liam. I’ve meant to ask you about that. What exactly have you and my brother been up to lately? He hasn’t been his usual pervy self when you were over these last two weeks.”

  A blush appears across her cheeks. Do I really want to know the answer to that question?

  “Nothing. He’s just been really sweet, calling to check up on me and making sure that Travis is leaving me alone. He took me out to lunch a couple of times but really that’s been it.”

  I smile and jerk my head to indicate we need to start moving again. “You know it's fine, right? If you two want to start something? It doesn’t bother me anymore. I just want you both to be happy. And watching you avoid each other like the plague because of me hurts. So if you want to date him, by all means, you have my blessing.”

  She shrugs and walks next to me. “I’m not really ready to date anyone right now. I mean, Travis is still a pretty fresh wound and I need to spend some time on me, not someone else. Liam understands and said he just wants to help me however he can.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’ve come to this decision on your own and not out of some guilt trip. If you ever decide to further your friendship with him, you have my full support.”

  I hug her outside of my classroom and she smiles. “Thanks, Britt.” Someone clears their throat behind me and Penny’s eyes narrow over my shoulder at the source. I can pretty much guess who it is without having to turn around. “I better get to class. Good luck with that,” she says out of the corner of her mouth before walking away.

  My teeth grind against each other and I can feel the muscle tick in my jaw as I turn around and come face to face with Chase, who isn’t really making eye contact with me.

  Smart man.

  “Hey Britta,” he says quietly.

  Still feeling childish about the whole thing, I move past him without saying hi and make my way to my seat, even though it’s right next to his. He follows and sits down quietly. I can still feel his intense stare on the side of my face. Even with all of winter break to deal with it, I’m still just as mad as I was that night.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out, giving a slight smile at James’s name appearing on my screen.

  LET ME KNOW IF HE GIVES YOU ANY TROUBLE TODAY. I MISS YOU.

  Angling my phone away from prying eyes, I quickly type back my response.

  MISS YOU TOO. AND DON’T WORRY. HE’S NOT EVEN ON MY RADAR. MY FOCUS WILL BE ELSEWHERE.

  I’VE GOT A FEW IDEAS ON WHERE THAT FOCUS COULD GO.

  I BET YOU DO. QUIT TEXTING ME AND GET BACK TO CLASS.

  SLAVE DRIVER.

  FLIRT.

  SEE YOU IN A COUPLE HOURS.

  CAN’T WAIT.

  I lock my phone and slide it back into my pocket as the bell rings. Chase is still focused on me, or at least I think he is from what I can tell out of the corner of my eye. But my suspicions are confirmed when I hear Mrs. Thompson’s voice call him out.

  “Mr. Woodward, the board is up front.”

  “Yes ma’am,” Chase says, creating a chorus of snickering to be heard. I stay stoic in my chair, not giving him the satisfaction of any kind of reaction because really, he’s just not worth my time.

  Did this hallway grow in length these past two weeks? I feel like I’ve been walking forever to get to the teacher’s lounge. Maybe my brain is playing a trick on me, but it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen him. And I need to see him. Right. Now.

  My heart beats faster as I round the corner. We were able to sneak in a few days together over break, with help from Liam. James still isn’t comfortable with the lying situation but without another option it’s all we have. But James and Liam have formed a mutual understanding over a love of greasy pizza and horror movies. And I wasn’t even upset when he crashed our “date”. It was the fact he sat between us that upset me more. He paid for it later, courtesy of a bowl of warm water while he slept.

  I say hello to several teachers who are enjoying their lunch and the few blissful moments of peace they’re allotted during the day. My feet carry me on wings to my destination down the hall, the last office on the right. Only it’s empty. No happy greeting, no warm body to hold tightly. Just a desk and chair and quiet.

  I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. It’s not like I expect to see him in his office every day. That would draw too much suspicion from people. But I had hoped that he’d want to see me right away. Not that I haven’t enjoyed our text message banter in the meantime. Thank goodness no one can see those. There are a few that would make even a nun blush.

  Settling into the oversized office chair, I start typing away at the grades he left for me this morning, transferring them from the book to the computer. It’s sort of redundant, but it’s a good backup in case something happens to the system and it crashes. Or worse, someone hacks into it and changes their grades. This way we at least have proof of what is real.

  The rustling at the door behind me has my head turning to the side. My smile is instantaneous when James comes into view, all dancing eyes and bright smile.

  “Good afternoon, Ms. Fosse,” he says, playing his role for whoever may be in earshot.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Dumont,” I say, playing along. “I’m just starting to enter the grades you left for me this morning.”

  He moves toward me, looking over his shoulder one last time before placing a kiss behind my ear.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispers, sending a round of goose bumps to invade my flesh.

  “Me too,” I reply. My breathing starts to accelerate at his close proximity. James notices the change because when I look at him again, his eyes are dilated and fixed on my mouth. I want nothing more than to kiss those soft full lips right now.

  Voices drift down the hall and James straightens back up to his full height while running a hand over his tie to smooth it back down into place.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” He’s whispering in a low, passionate voice with his head bent down to look at me.

  I bite my lip and feign ignorance. “Like what?”

  “You know what. We can’t do what is going through your head right now so please don’t tempt me.”

  “And what do you think is going on through my head? Surely it’s something completely platonic and nothing at all dirty as you must be thinking.”

  He laughs quietly and my legs clench at the sound. I love listening to him laugh. Again, I need to make that as a ringtone somehow.

  “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” He perches himself on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest.

  “You have no idea,” I mumble to myself and turn my attention back to the compu
ter screen. The last thing we need is to get in trouble for being careless.

  His brow furrows but then shakes his head to dismiss whatever it was. There’s a moment of awkward silence and the temperature in the room spikes about ten degrees. It’s hard to sit here and be this close and not touch him. Really touch him, like we started out doing at his house a couple weeks ago. The memory heats my cheeks again and I’m gifted with another quiet laugh.

  “Are you going to the basketball game tomorrow night? Heard it’s supposed to be a good one against Cottage Grove.”

  I turn in my chair and nod. “Big rivalry game so it doesn’t surprise me that’s what everyone is talking about. Last year they creamed us so we’re out for revenge, or so I’m told. Why, are you going?”

  He nods and crosses his legs at the ankle. “I am. Karen talked me into it. She was on me for never attending anything around the school and said it’d be good for me to go mingle with the student body.”

  My nostrils flare at the mention of Ms. Hathaway’s name. She’s young and single and the largest man-eater of the faculty. Rumors of her one-night stands and serial dates have trickled down to the student body, making her every teenage boy’s fantasy and every girl’s common enemy. She’s the one teacher who doesn’t feel that business casual is necessary. No, she still believes she’s in high school herself with her tiny little skirts and barely-there tops, only furthering my hatred for the woman. If you’re going to dress like a stripper, perhaps you should be working somewhere else.

  James places two fingers beneath my chin and tilts it up to meet his eyes.

  “Don’t,” he simply says, looking straight into my eyes. I try to look away, but he moves to stay within my line of sight. “Don’t worry about Karen. I don’t think of her like that and never could. I only have eyes for one woman in my life.” I make a scoffing noise, letting my bitter jealousy rule my head, even though I know in my heart that he’s not interested in her.