Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  I clear my throat and point to my menu, picking the chicken ravioli with the balsamic glaze. James decides on the chef’s special and hands Michael both of our menus after he finishes scribbling down our orders on his notepad.

  “I’ll go ahead and put those in right away for you and be back with your sparkling waters.”

  Michael quickly turns on his heels, making sure to keep his head down to avoid my eyes. Not that I would have noticed him anyway.

  “So are we even now?” I ask, wanting to know if we’re really going to act this way every time we’re around others. I know we both said that we’re jealous people, but this may be a bit ridiculous, considering where we’re at in our relationship.

  “We’re even. No more petty jealousy. We’re beyond that, don’t you agree?” he says, kissing the back of my hand.

  “Agreed. Besides, there’s no one I would rather be with than you and nothing or no one in this world could change my mind.”

  He smiles, lighting up his face and mine in the simple gesture. The white noise of the restaurant fades as we drink in the sight of each other, tracing over each and every feature while burning them into memory. The way his eyes roam over my body makes me feel beautiful in a way that no one has ever made me feel before. Typically when a guy tells you he thinks you’re beautiful, you’ll second guess his intentions. Is he just trying to get into my pants? Did he lose a bet? Words can mean so little when they’re spoken from feelings other than sincerity. But I never get that from James. He can say so much without ever opening his mouth and it’s one of the things I cherish about him. We know that we are meant to be together and that nothing can separate our souls, which have been bound by an unseen force. And I can see it every time he looks at me, just as he is right now with nothing but love in his expression.

  Michael arrives with our sparkling waters and we each pick up the goblet and hold them out in front of us.

  “To the most perfect first date with the woman I love.”

  I glance to the right, moved by his words but yet feeling shy at the same time. His fingers guide my face back to his and we lean over the table to press our lips together in a soft kiss.

  “It may sound a bit funny but just because this is our first official date doesn’t make the statement any less true. You are the woman I love, whom I adore and worship and will spend the rest of my life making sure that you have every possible need and want fulfilled.”

  The smile on my face intensifies. “I feel the exact same way about you. You know I love you more than anything on this planet. I would do anything for you, even if it means making the hard decisions sometimes and sacrificing my needs over yours.”

  His head tilts to the side and frowns slightly. “You don’t have to worry about keeping me safe. That’s my job. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “And I you, so let’s just agree that we both will protect the other from anything that may or may not happen, foreseeable or not.”

  We clink our glasses together and take another sip, making sure our eyes stay locked with each other over the rims.

  After we’ve eaten our weight in pasta, we decide to share a tiramisu for dessert. I’m so full that I’m not sure if I can make it back to his truck without exploding. But I keep shoveling the sweet coffee dessert into my mouth, licking my fork clean of any residue after each bite.

  “If you keep doing that our drive home will take forever,” he says quietly.

  I snake my tongue out again and slowly lick each and every tine before dragging it through my red lips. He gives a low grumble and I smile at my seduction attempt. Not that we need it. After last night, I’m positive we’re a sure thing wherever and whenever we can be alone.

  I place the fork down and pat his hand gently. “Easy tiger. I’m going to head to the bathroom before we go.”

  “I’ll flag down your admirer and pay him so we can hurry home. We still have more things to do tonight for our first date.”

  I pause as I straighten up to my full height. “We do?”

  He nods slowly. “Don’t you remember how I described our first date?”

  I think back to the night we first talked about it and smile. “Oh yes. You’re going to read to me on the couch and then…” I trail off, letting the rest of the sentence hang in the air between us. We both know what’s going to happen next. There’s no need to put it into words.

  “Exactly. So hurry and fix your face or whatever else you’re going to do because we have plans, Ms. Fosse.”

  I press a quick kiss to his cheek as he holds my chair out for me. I walk confidently through the restaurant and quickly head to the restrooms to take care of business and straighten myself up.

  As I look at myself in the mirror, I smile at my reflection. There’s a glow about my skin and color on my cheeks. My head is held a little higher and there’s a smile that is almost permanently plastered on my face. And it’s all because of James. It’s strange to think that our relationship is considered forbidden solely because of his job. If he was anything other than a teacher no one would even question it. I mean a four year age difference isn’t anything. It’s probably more common than people realize. And it’s not as if he’s taking advantage of me. If anything, I probably pushed him more than I should have but no one can deny that what we have is special. The only problem is no one knows what we have except for Liam and us. But for now that’s enough.

  I exit the restroom and begin to make my way to our table when something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. I try not to turn my head to stare but a familiar profile can be seen and it quickens my steps back to James.

  Closing the payment book and setting it in the middle of the table, James stands when he sees me approaching.

  “Is something wrong?” he asks. He runs his hands up and down my arms and places a kiss on my forehead.

  I shake my head and shift from foot to foot. “No, not yet. At least I don’t think so. But we need to go. Quick.”

  His brows draw together as he attempts to decrypt my message. I glance over my right shoulder, hoping he’ll follow my lead. I can see it in his eyes the minute he understands why I’m acting slightly on edge. He sees who else is in this very same restaurant, who could potentially hurt us if he so wanted to.

  He sees Chase.

  “Come on. Let’s move quickly and walk around the opposite side. Maybe he won’t notice us.”

  I nod and begin to get my coat on, but James helps me into it before putting on his. We link our arms together and he guides us quietly through the restaurant to the front doors. I glance over my shoulder every once in a while in the hope that Chase will continue to pay attention to his parents and not so much to everything else around him. I don’t make a sound or take a breath until we reach his truck, thankful that my small prayer has been answered.

  “That was close,” I say. James shuts my door and quickly rounds the truck to climb in on his side.

  “Not too close but close enough. What are the odds that he would be here tonight?”

  I shrug my shoulders and stare out my window as James puts the truck in reverse, taking us out of the parking lot and back toward Somerset and our temporary safe haven.

  We stay quiet for the first few miles, probably both contemplating the ramifications of what could have potentially happened if Chase had seen us together. It’s something that always sits in the back of my mind but I don’t acknowledge it because that means it’s the end.

  “It was your eyes,” he says completely out of the blue.

  I turn my head toward him and tilt it slightly in confusion. “Huh?”

  He smiles and grabs my hand. “You asked me earlier how I knew you were first attracted to me. It was your eyes. They gave you away the first day we met.”

  “You mean the day you ran me over and knocked me on my ass?”

  He laughs softly and nods. “Yes, that day. I knew the minute you looked up at me that you were attracted to me. There was a hint of anger at firs
t, but then they shifted and softened. The light hit them just perfectly to make them almost appear to sparkle as you blatantly stared at me.”

  “I wasn’t blatantly staring at you,” I defend.

  “Yes, you were but so was I. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, even when you were sprawled out on your ass. But I knew right then and there that I needed to find out who you were and get to know you. I needed you in my life and I didn’t exactly know the reason why other than I just did.”

  “And here we are now.”

  He kisses the back of my hand and squeezes it before placing it back onto his thigh. “Here we are, happier than we’ve ever been and so completely in love with each other, even though we tried to fight it.”

  “Tried and failed miserably. But you know what?” He shakes his head and glances quickly over at me. “I don’t regret one thing about how we got here. Yes, we’re unconventional and we have to be a little more cautious than most other couples, but you are worth it. We are worth it because I’m focusing on the full-length novel and not the individual chapter.”

  I scoot as close to him as I possibly can and lay my head against his shoulder. He brings his arm around me and holds me against him. We don’t say anything else on the ride home, both of us eager to finish our date and get to bed, knowing that sleep is not on the agenda for tonight.

  “PICK OUT A BOOK FOR us,” James says as he unknots his tie. He slowly flicks the top few buttons of his shirt open, exposing a small patch of smooth skin at the base of his throat.

  I stop and stare. My mouth dries as he slowly drags the tie from around his neck and gently tosses it onto the vacant chair to his right. But when he slowly rolls up the sleeves of his white shirt, the floor falls out from beneath my feet.

  Holy. Fuck.

  I think my heart just exploded. No, wait, that was my ovaries. Because right now, looking at James in his current state of undress, makes me want to jump him and have each and every one of his babies from now until the end of time.

  I stumble slightly, even though I’m not moving or wearing my heels anymore. The sheer force of his gaze upon me, coupled with his undoubtedly male hotness, has damn near blown me over where I stand.

  And he’s mine.

  “I, um, yeah. Book,” I mumble, turning toward the bookcase at the far end of the living room. His chuckle at my stuttering makes me smile and hasten my steps, eager to find the perfect book so he can read it to me.

  My fingers trail over the spines of his collection, noting that the majority of the books are classics. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. On the contrary, I adore the classics. The masters of the written word who have been cherished generation after generation, their works finding new followers at any age and will withstand the tests of time for generations to follow. Those are the books that need to be read, to be loved and adored for this special occasion.

  Large hands wrap around my waist and pull me into his chest. He rests his chin against my shoulder while his warm breath tickles my neck. I wrap my arms around his, anchoring our bodies together so there’s no chance that he’ll let me go.

  “Do you need some help?” he asks. The vein he’s tracing with his lips pulses wildly as he teases me with the promise of what’s to come.

  “No,” I squeak.

  “Hmm,” is his only response as he continues to tease my body, stirring it up with so much want and need that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stand upright.

  Focus. I need to focus. On a deep inhale, I reach out and pick a book at random, hoping it’s a romantic one and not some sordid tale of misery and woe.

  “Excellent choice,” James says and takes the book from my hand. I didn’t even get a chance to see what I had picked.

  He gently pulls me behind him as we make our way to the couch. There’s a fire roaring in the fireplace and a few candles set up strategically around the room. When did he do all this? Was I really that dazed that I never noticed him putting all this together?

  James makes himself comfortable on the couch. He lies on his side and pats the cushions next to him to let me know where he wants me. As if there was anywhere else I’d go.

  I stretch my body next to his, easily fitting into his form like a missing puzzle piece. The way our bodies fit together reassures me that this is right, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

  “So what book did I actually pick?”

  He laughs quietly and kisses my forehead. “You didn’t look?”

  I shake my head and bury it in the crook of his neck. “Someone had me distracted and flustered so I grabbed the first book at my fingertips.”

  “Well, I must say that you chose well then because it’s one of my favorites. At least for a female writer.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are we a sexist reader, Mr. Dumont?”

  James shakes his head and smiles. “Not in the least. But I have my favorite books written by male authors and female authors, classic and newer, fiction and nonfiction. This just happens to be one of them written by a woman.”

  I narrow my eyes playfully at him. “I don’t believe you. I think you're just sexist. I didn’t exactly see a whole lot of Austen or Bronte on your shelves.”

  “You admitted that you weren’t really looking so how would you know?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Touché. But just out of curiosity, do you have them on your shelves?”

  He rests his head on mine and I can feel him smile against my cheek. “Yes, I have Austen and both Emily and Charlotte Bronte, right next to my Tolkien, Lewis, Wells, Fitzgerald, and Stein.”

  “Okay, I’ll be quiet now. But you never answered my question. Which book did I pick?”

  James turns the hardcover over, showing me the first page of the book. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. The book itself is old and yet seemingly in mint condition. I glance at the date printed on the first page and don’t believe my own eyes. It can’t be, can it?

  1938.

  “James, this is a first edition,” I gasp.

  “Yes, it is. I found this little treasure in a used book store back in Hartford. Someone had loved it at one time and either didn’t know its value or it was part of an estate and the family was just getting rid of everything. I don’t have many first editions, but this is one of them.”

  “Maybe we should pick something else. I don’t want you to ruin the book.”

  He shifts next to me, bringing us nose to nose. “Nonsense. Books are made to be enjoyed and that’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to read you this book and you are going to enjoy it.”

  James gets comfortable again and I lean my head against his shoulder. Part of me wants to turn and see the actual words themselves but the larger part of me wants to stare at his profile.

  Unsurprisingly that’s the part who wins out in my internal war.

  I watch his mouth as he reads, focusing on his lips and the way they curve around each word, making each one my new favorite word just because he’s saying them. The quiet timbre of his voice is soothing, giving inflection when necessary and never monotone. He reads with the passion of someone who truly appreciates the literary works of the great ones. There aren’t many people in this world who enjoy reading with the technology boom of the last decade. When given the choice between reading the book or watching the movie, most will opt for the movie because, in their opinion, reading is boring. Truly this is one of the downfalls of our society.

  And to find someone who shares this same passion, who appreciates it and cherishes it enough to want to share it with me, makes this night the best first date in the history of the world.

  James is a quarter of the way through, meaning that we’ve just been lying here for a couple hours, doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.

  He pauses and turns to me. The light from the fire behind me dances in his eyes, making them spark from the glowing embers.

  “You still with me?” he asks, placing the open book on his chest to
save his place.

  “Mmm,” I respond and nod my head slowly. My body feels peaceful as my eyelids droop slightly.

  Closing the book, he places it on the coffee table next to us while turning his body and pulling me close.

  “You look tired, sweetheart. We should go to bed.” He gently brushes away some hair from my forehead. I don’t think I have the energy to move quite yet. Just listening to his voice has relaxed me so much that I just want to stay here, wrapped up in him and never leave. Forget the outside world and all their judgments that are trying to keep us apart. I just want to be here, in his arms, where I belong.

  “I don’t want to move. I love being cuddled up next to you.”

  “Oh really? And why is that?” he asks.

  “Because we fit together so perfectly.” I scoot closer to him and nuzzle into his neck. “Plus, you smell really good right here.” I run my nose over the spot, taking a deep inhale of his scent mixed with the cologne he put on tonight. It’s enough to awaken my slumbering libido as it stirs to life.

  “What else?” he asks hoarsely. His feet run along mine and then slowly up my calves, pulling my legs between his.

  “I love the taste of your skin,” I say, taking a slow swipe along the pulsing vein on his neck.

  My fingers clutch his shirt; unbuttoning it the rest of the way and pulling it from the confines of his slacks until it’s completely open. His breath hitches as I trace each defined muscle I can find before wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “Bed,” he groans and slowly moves us into an upright position. I straddle his lap with my dress hiked up my thighs.

  James’s hands follow the path of the newly exposed skin on my legs, climbing higher and higher until he reaches my waist. He stands up in one fluid motion and I instinctively wrap my body around him as we make our way to the bedroom.

  “What about the fireplace and candles?” I ask.

  He stops and sets me down in the hallway. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  James disappears around the corner. Something rustles, followed by a loud clank and the sound of crumbling wood as it turns into ash. The light dims significantly in the living room, letting me know the fire isn’t completely out, but it’s not the roar that it once was a few hours ago. And since we never put any more logs on, it shouldn’t take long for it to dissipate.