Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  Liam moves forward and places his hand on Penny’s shoulder. She reaches up and squeezes it. He’s been silent the whole time, but I’m sure he was probably read the riot act on the way over here so he’s just letting Penny sort everything out in her head.

  Suddenly she stands and nods her head. “Okay then.”

  We look at each other then back at Penny. “That’s it?”

  She brushes her hands against her jeans and smiles at us. “Yep, that’s it.”

  I stand slowly and walk around the table, careful not to jam my foot into it again. “So you’re not mad?’ I ask, standing in front of her.

  She shakes her head and I relax for the first time since she walked into the room. “No, I’m not mad. Honestly, I’ve known about this for a while. You’re a terrible liar, Britt. Plus I can read your face. Every time you talk about Mr. Dumont or see him, you light up like the Fourth of July. I’ve never seen you so happy before and I wasn’t about to question it because there are some that would use this information to destroy you.”

  And we all know exactly who Penny is talking about without having to say his name. “We saw him yesterday at dinner. I don’t think he saw us together,” I say.

  Penny leans over and hugs me close. I wrap my arms around her and sigh in relief, thankful that she understands.

  “Hopefully not but we’ll handle it if he did.” She pulls away and wipes at a tear that has escaped her eyes. “Next time don’t keep anything like this from me. You know I hate secrets.”

  I release her and wrap my arm around James, pulling myself securely into his side. “There won’t be a next time. He’s coming with me to Boston when I leave in the fall.”

  Liam raises an eyebrow and smirks. “Oh is he now?”

  James laughs and kisses the top of my head. “She’s very persuasive.”

  That earns us both an eye roll from Liam. “Tell me about it.”

  I shove his shoulder and laugh. “You love me.”

  “Unfortunately,” he replies, roughing up my hair as if I was still a little kid.

  “Have you two eaten? I was just about to make some lunch for us. I’d love it if you could stay and eat.”

  Penny laughs. “Yeah, I’m not interested in your kind of lunch because judging by Britt’s swollen lips and disheveled hair when we walked in, I’m guessing it wasn’t food she was devouring.”

  My eyes widen in horror and all the color in Liam’s face drains instantly. Penny jabs him in the ribs and laughs loudly. “Oh my gosh, you should see your face!”

  James laughs and retreats to the kitchen while I cover my face, trying to hide the redness that I can feel creeping up my neck.

  Penny links her arm through mine as she leads us into the kitchen. “Lighten up you two. You should be happy that I know. This way you can stop sneaking around and I can actually help you both get together. Plus now you don’t have to push your brother on me again.”

  Liam playfully pushes her shoulder as she sits on one of the barstools. “I didn’t hear you complain this weekend.”

  I plug my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. “I don’t want to hear about it.”

  Liam ruffles my hair again and I swat his hands away. “Likewise. The fewer details about our weekend, the better.”

  “Screw that. I want all the deets,” Penny says as she leans into her propped up hands.

  I look back at James, whose shoulders are shaking with repressed laughter. “Maybe later. But if you think you’re getting all the deets you’re going to be gravely disappointed.”

  James continues to make the four of us lunch as Penny goes on and on about her weekend with Liam, who decides to help James to get away from the two of us. Seeing them together, talking about sports and getting along so well makes my heart swell inside my chest. There’s nothing more I’d love than for one day to have this out in the open. I can’t wait to invite James to my parent’s house because I know they would love him.

  Penny waves her hand in front of my face after zoning out in my daydream. “Earth to Britta. You still with me?”

  I turn to face her and smile. “Barely. Listen, I’m really sorry for keeping this from you. We didn’t want anyone to know because of the damage it could do to his career and reputation. I mean, if anyone found out he’d be fired and would never get another teaching job. And that’s something I couldn’t do to him. We just need to be extremely careful for the next few months until graduation. And then everything will be fine.”

  “Don’t worry. I won’t say a thing. I’ve got your back.”

  Hugging Penny tightly to me, I look over her shoulder and see James looking at us with a smile on his face. He knows this is a huge thing for me, letting Penny into our world and exposing our secret to her. She’s trustworthy and would never betray us.

  “I love you,” I mouth to him.

  “Love you too,” he mouths back before blowing a kiss and returning to the stove and his conversation with Liam.

  What started out as a potentially bad situation has migrated into the best thing that could have happened. Penny knows, Liam knows, and now we have supporters who will help us be together.

  Less than five months to go. And I’ve never wanted time to speed up as much as I do right now.

  THE WEATHER HAS WARMED CONSIDERABLY, giving us our first real hope that spring is finally here after what feels like the longest winter in history. The late March weather is welcoming, though, putting me that much closer to graduation and into the arms of the man who is going just as stir crazy as I am through this whole process.

  “So what are you doing for spring break?” Penny asks me, shutting her locker door with a loud thud.

  “I don’t know,” I say as I pull out my notebook. “My parents asked if we wanted to go on vacation or something but since Liam’s spring break doesn’t line up with ours that made it kind of difficult. They don’t want to leave him behind. You know how much of a whiner he is,” I say, shutting my locker door.

  “Tell me about it. He frustrates me like no one else can. Does he practice that at night when I’m not there?”

  I pause briefly in my steps and turn to face her. “What do you mean ‘when you’re not there’? Are you there during the night sometimes?” I raise an eyebrow to her. She blushes a million different shades of red and I contain the cringe that wants to break out from me. “On second thought, never mind. I really don’t need to know the answer to that question.”

  We start walking toward our classroom, briefly saying hello to Lyle and Cami, who are quickly running off to skip their third-period class for a make out session.

  When we round the corner, I pause when I see James speaking to Mr. Leonard in the hallway outside of his classroom. My heart rate doubles as I watch Mr. Leonard’s face, trying to see what kind of mood he’s in. Is he happy? Sad? Angry? Disappointed? Anything outside of the first emotion would spell trouble for us.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing,” Penny whispers into my ear. “After all, James is a teacher and Mr. Leonard is the principal. It’s not unusual for them to be talking, right?”

  I can barely make out her words. The whooshing blood in my ears has them ringing so loudly that I can’t hear anything. Penny places her hand on my arm and I slowly turn my head to face her, willing my body to calm down against the rising panic. Something felt off this morning when I woke up, but I brushed it aside, thinking that it was just residual from the nightmare that woke me up in the early morning hours. But now, seeing James and Mr. Leonard standing in front of me makes me think that I was being issued a warning.

  “I don’t know,” I quietly reply because I honestly don’t know. But judging by Mr. Leonard’s crossed arms and James’s hands shoved into his pockets, it can’t be all good.

  At that moment, James looks up and eyes me watching them. Something flashes in his eyes and he minutely shakes his head, wanting me to leave the area. Something is definitely not right with this scenario.

  “We need to leave,” I say and grab Penn
y’s arm but it’s too late.

  “Ms. Fosse?” Mr. Leonard calls.

  With my back turned to him, I close my eyes tightly and take a deep breath before turning to face him.

  “Y-yes, Mr. Leonard?”

  He says something to James, who only nods in response, and quickly approaches me with a solemn face.

  “Ms. Fosse, would you accompany me to my office, please?”

  My eyes grow wide with fear. “I, but, my class,” I stutter.

  Mr. Leonard just shakes his head and turns his attention to Penny. “Ms. Morris, would you please let your teacher know that Ms. Fosse will be late for class at my request?”

  Penny nods her head and swallows hard. “Yes, Mr. Leonard.” She brushes her hand against my shoulder before turning to practically run down the hall.

  Breathe. It’s going to be okay.

  But then he gives me a look that contradicts everything that I think I know. It’s a look that I’ve wanted to avoid for the past few months.

  He knows. He has to know. Why else would he be talking to James and then want to speak to me in his office during one of my classes?

  Bile rises in my throat and I swallow it harshly back down. My sweaty palms are barely able to grip my notebook as I follow Mr. Leonard down the halls to his office, taking a seat in the vinyl chair in front of his large desk.

  “Ms. Fosse, I appreciate you coming in,” he says and takes a seat behind his desk of power.

  “Of course. What was it you wanted to see me about, sir?”

  He picks up a folder from the top of his desk and begins to read the contents inside. Folding his hands together, he places them on top of the papers and leans forward slightly.

  “I was going over your schedule and credit requirements. It appears that you have met and exceeded the credits required to graduate from this school.”

  I nod my head, wondering where he’s going with this.

  “However, just because you’ve met the credit requirement doesn’t mean that you’ve met the subject requirement. According to your transcripts you’ve been a teacher’s aide since last year for two periods during the middle of the day. Is that correct?”

  “Yes,” I squeak.

  “Luckily, those will count toward your elective credit but you still lack one additional graduation credit.”

  I twist my fingers in my lap nervously, feeling the first cold drop of sweat run down the back of my neck. Is he serious? I know that I’ve carefully gone over my transcript since freshman year to make sure I had all of my core and elective classes taken care of. What subject could I have possibly skipped?

  “Now it’s my understanding that you have applied to and have been accepted into the pre-med program at Harvard, correct?”

  “Yes,” I say again.

  He lifts up a piece of paper and trails a finger down the words, studying them briefly before meeting my eyes again.

  “Which would explain the heavy emphasis on your math and science courses. Everything looks to be in order except for a missing social studies credit.”

  Wait, what? A social studies credit? But that’s impossible. I know I’ve taken the correct amount of courses that the school and Harvard require for graduation.

  “Are you sure Mr. Leonard? I’m almost positive that I have the appropriate amount of credits for each subject.”

  He glances down at his sheet again before turning it around to face me. I lean forward in my chair, perched right on the edge so I can get a good look at my transcript.

  “Microeconomics, macroeconomics, American history, and geography. That’s four credits, isn’t it?” I ask, sitting back in my chair.

  Mr. Leonard shakes his head at me. “Not entirely. Yes, they are four classes but because you only took one trimester of geography this year, it doesn’t count as a full credit.”

  The color drains from my cheeks at the realization this brings. “So I can’t graduate?”

  He smiles and shakes his head. “Not necessarily. You still have this next trimester to get the remaining credit needed. I’ve struck a compromise with Mr. Dumont, who agreed to give you credit for your aide position toward your geography class but you will need to take the rest of the course this next trimester. We’ve already worked it into your schedule. Unfortunately, that means you will need to give up your teacher’s aide position with Mr. Dumont.”

  I sag into my chair. Relief flows through me that this is the only issue. “I understand. What period has Mr. Dumont put me into for his class?”

  Mr. Leonard pulls out another sheet of paper and turns it to me. It’s my upcoming schedule for next trimester. I haven’t even seen it yet, but I’m not surprised that the majority of my classes have stayed the same.

  “Your first- through third-period classes haven’t changed. We were able to fit you in so we didn’t have to disrupt your schedule too much. Your sixth-period class has changed, now moved to the fifth period,” he says, pointing to the paper. “We gave you an open fourth-period since it’s the lunch hour. That way you’ll be able to do as you please, as long as you don’t broadcast that information across the school, that is. Otherwise, we’ll have to place you in a study hall.”

  An open fourth-period? This can’t be happening. There’s no way he would give me an open hour at the same time as James if he knew we were together. Our secret is still safe, at least for now.

  “No, of course. I won’t tell anyone about my open period. I’ll do something to occupy my time and not draw attention to myself. Perhaps use it to study in the library?”

  “The library sounds like an excellent idea. I will let Mrs. Farnsworth know that you will be there during that hour so she won’t think you’re skipping class or anything of the sort.”

  I smile and nod, unable to keep the elation from showing too brightly at my new master plan.

  “May I keep this?” I ask, picking up my revised schedule.

  “Of course. Are you still okay with taking Mr. Dumont’s geography class during sixth-period?”

  Ending my school day with James? You won’t hear me complaining.

  “Yes, that’s still fine, Mr. Leonard.”

  He stands from his chair and shakes my hand as I straighten myself up to my full height.

  “I’m glad we got that all straightened out. Thank you for coming in, Ms. Fosse.” He hands me a pass, excusing me from the time I’ve already missed from my calculus class.

  “Thank you for catching the mistake, Mr. Leonard.” I give him a small wave as I exit his office.

  My feet carry me swiftly down the hall now that the feeling of dread has left. My mind is still reeling from the fact that we haven’t been discovered and that I’m going to be back in class with him again. It’ll be a sweet torture, but the alternative isn’t something I’d like either. I’d rather sit and look at him than be told that I can’t see him at all.

  Not looking where I’m going, I run into a hard wall and fall flat on my ass. The notebook and pencil I was carrying scatter across the floor, coming to a stop beside a familiar pair of shoes. Okay, so it wasn’t a wall I ran into. It just felt like one.

  I look up at him and smile, shaking my head slightly as he extends his hand out to pull me off the floor.

  “You really need to pay attention to where you’re going,” James says with a shake of his head.

  “You need to quit knocking me off my feet,” I reply, brushing some dirt off the back of my pants.

  He leans forward and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Never.”

  I flush then quickly look around to make sure no one can see us. He does the same before pulling me into a dark alcove underneath the stairs.

  “Oh yeah, this won’t draw attention at all. What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”

  He pulls my face to his and our lips meet in the most toe-curling kiss he has ever given me outside of his bedroom. Instinctively my arms wrap tightly around his neck, pulling us closer together until I can feel his hard b
ody fully pressing against mine. And when I say hard body I mean hard body. With a deft roll of his hips, I feel that same hardness press against my stomach, eliciting a moan to escape my mouth.

  “Shh. You can’t do things like that and expect me not to react,” he says, trailing his lips down my neck.

  I try to push him away, but my body doesn't agree with my brain as it presses into him further, making it his turn to hiss out a breath.

  “I didn’t do anything,” I breathe. “I was just walking back to my class, which I’m now extremely late for.”

  James pulls his head back and looks at me with the utmost love and adoration in his eyes. “You have a pass from Mr. Leonard, who I assume gave you the good news?”

  I nod and smile. “Yes. It appears you’re stuck with me as your student again, Mr. Dumont.”

  A low growl can be heard and it makes me giggle again. “You know what it does to me when you call me that.”

  I brush our lips together before pulling away from him. “I do, however, there’s nothing we can do about it right now.”

  He grabs my elbow slightly before I fully emerge from the alcove. “Meet me tonight?”

  I look over my shoulder and grin. “Same time?”

  He doesn’t say or do anything, just sears me with his hot and intense stare. I love the way he looks at me as if I’m the most important thing in the world to him.

  I turn to face him, cradling his cheeks in my hands and rest my forehead against his. “I love you and the way you love me.”

  Warmth spreads from my lips down to my toes as we seal our goodbye with one last scorching kiss.

  “I love you too. Get to class now. I’d hate to have to write you up for being tardy.”

  Backing away slowly, I keep my eyes locked on his while I attempt to straighten myself out. Pressing a kiss to my fingertips, I blow it to him while wiggling my fingers in the most girlish fashion possible. He catches the kiss and presses it to his heart, which almost makes my legs go out from underneath me again.

  I bend to pick up my notebook and pencil, which are still lying on the floor, when I’m met with another set of shoes in front of me. I slowly stand up straight and look into the blue eyes that I never wanted to see again.