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William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

Page 4

by Ian Doescher


  Who shall forge balance in the Force again,

  And fix our cause as metal ’gainst the dark.

  [Exeunt Yoda, Mace, and Obi-Wan.

  Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, and JAR JAR BINKS.

  PADMÉ

  [to Jar Jar:] A leave of absence I must take anon,

  And thou must in the Senate take my place.

  Come, Jar Jar Binks, my representative:

  I know I may on thy good judgment trust.

  JAR JAR

  O, meesa pleas’d to take this burthen,

  Accept with muy humility.

  PADMÉ

  My thanks, kind Jar Jar. I’d not hold thee here—

  Well do I know the urgent nature of

  Thy vital new responsibilities.

  JAR JAR

  ’Tis so, my lady. Now I goin’.

  [Aside:] And shall do what I may to work for right!

  [Exit Jar Jar.

  PADMÉ

  [to Anakin:] This Jedi plan, which is to hide in fear,

  Doth not conform unto my strong desire—

  To stay and show my strength, e’en ’gainst this threat.

  ANAKIN

  Fear not. The Council hath decreed that there

  Shall be a full investigation; it

  Shall not be long e’er Master Obi-Wan

  Hath caught the worthless bounty hunter who

  Hath order’d this attack upon thy life.

  PADMÉ

  Shall it be all for naught that I have work’d

  This bygone year against the act that would

  Create an army in Republic’s name?

  Are all mine efforts so in vain that I

  May not be present when its fate is seal’d?

  It is as though I run a vital race

  And in the final moments have been forc’d

  To wander off the track and forfeit all.

  ’Tis more than just unfair, aye, ’tis unjust!

  ANAKIN

  At times we must our errant pride release

  And do that which is ask’d of us instead.

  PADMÉ

  Thy words do sting, yet show that thou hast grown.

  ANAKIN

  My growth is still by Obi-Wan ignor’d.

  Pray understand: the man’s a mentor true,

  With wisdom like to Master Yoda’s wit,

  With power like to Master Windu’s strength.

  ’Tis fortunate I his apprentice am.

  Yet hear me now, judge thou mine honest boast:

  In many matters I exceed the man.

  Prepar’d I am the trials for to face,

  Yet he believes me unpredictable

  And shall not let my Jedi rank advance.

  PADMÉ

  Thou must in this a deep vexation find.

  ANAKIN

  ’Tis worse than mere vexation. He gives more

  Of criticism than I do deserve,

  He lends opinion freely, but doth not

  So willingly give ear to hear my words.

  In troth: the man doth understand me not.

  When I am thusly clipp’d, how may I grow?

  PADMÉ

  Hath bud e’er blossom’d sans the watchfulness

  A gardener doth skillfully extend,

  E’en when ’tis time to wield the pruning shears?

  Our mentors see the worms, the quick decay,

  The stems that in the wrong direction sprout—

  They pluck where ’tis most needed, such that flow’rs

  As we may bear our fragrance to the world.

  ANAKIN

  ’Tis true, I know ’tis true—I have my weeds.

  PADMÉ

  So let thy beauty flourish in its time,

  And seek thou not to force untimely growth.

  ANAKIN

  Yet I am fully grown, and would unfurl

  My petals to the wind—and to thy notice.

  PADMÉ

  Look not upon me with such seedy eyes.

  ANAKIN

  And wherefore not?

  PADMÉ

  —It drives my bud to rot.

  ANAKIN

  Apology I give thee, worthy rose,

  For bringing such a stench unto thy nose.

  [Aside:] Thus have I planted root of love too soon.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, CAPTAIN TYPHO, DORMÉ, and R2-D2.

  TYPHO

  Most worthy lady, time has come to leave.

  I pray, be safe until we meet again.

  PADMÉ

  Kind Captain Typho, thanks, and take thou care

  Of Dormé, for the threat now falls to you.

  DORMÉ

  He shall be safe with me.

  PADMÉ

  —Whence come these tears?

  I’ll warrant thou shalt be kept well secure.

  DORMÉ

  ’Tis not for me I weep—nay, ’tis for you,

  And for the fear I feel for your own sake.

  What if your enemies discover you

  Have fled the capital back to Naboo?

  PADMÉ

  Then shall we see this Jedi prove his worth

  And show the skill that shall protect my steps.

  OBI-WAN

  Good Anakin, a word before thou goest:

  Do nothing sans the consultation of

  The Jedi Council or myself. Dost hear?

  ANAKIN

  It shall be so, my master.

  OBI-WAN

  [to Padmé:] —Senator,

  I shall unveil this vicious plot anon,

  So shall you hither make return at once.

  PADMÉ

  I shall most grateful be for ev’ry speed

  You may deliver, Master Obi-Wan.

  ANAKIN

  We must away.

  PADMÉ

  —I follow; lead thou on.

  OBI-WAN

  The Force be always with thee, Anakin.

  ANAKIN

  With you as well, good master mine. Adieu.

  OBI-WAN

  [to Typho:] I hope the boy shall nothing foolish try.

  TYPHO

  ’Tis she, not he, who makes me worry, though:

  The young may work our older nerves some woe.

  [Exeunt Obi-Wan, Captain Typho, and Dormé.

  PADMÉ

  Upon the moment shakes mine heart with fear.

  ANAKIN

  My first assignment ’tis: I fear as well.

  All shall be well, R2 shall keep us safe.

  R2-D2

  Beep squeak! [Aside:] He makes this comment as a jest,

  Yet I shall offer them my very best.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 1.

  On the planet Coruscant, in Dex’s Diner and the Jedi archives.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, WA-7, and assorted diners.

  WA-7

  What ho, Dex, here’s a man to speak with you—

  A Jedi, if his look doth not deceive.

  Enter DEXTER JETTSTER.

  DEXTER

  By my six limbs, ’tis Obi-Wan Kenobi!

  OBI-WAN

  Good morrow, Dex, ’tis well to see thee!

  DEXTER

  —Yea!

  I prithee, sit thee down and rest awhile.

  I’ll come within thy radius anon.

  WA-7

  Would you enjoy some Jawa juice, good soul?

  OBI-WAN

  Indeed, thou hast my thanks.

  DEXTER

  [embracing him:] —My longtime friend!

  What knowledge may I arm thee with today?

  OBI-WAN

  I bid thee, Dex: pray tell, what’s this device?

  [Obi-Wan shows Dexter the poisonous dart.

  DEXTER

  Zounds! Such a thing! I’ve not seen one of these

  Since I did prospect on far Subterrel,

  At the extremity of th’Outer Rim.

  [WA-7 serves Obi-Wan his Jawa juice.

  OBI-WAN

  And dost thou kno
w, then, whence it comes? [To WA-7:]

  My thanks.

  DEXTER

  This little thing, no more than pinkie’s length,

  Belongs to cloners, they who live far off.

  ’Tis known as a Kamino saberdart.

  OBI-WAN

  Yet when I put it to analysis,

  Our archives knew naught. Wherefore, wonder I?

  DEXTER

  These cuts upon the side, these members here,

  Do tell the story of their genesis.

  The droids that analyze such things but look

  For symbols. Thus, they may not heed such grooves.

  O, shame, good Obi-Wan! I would have thought

  The Jedi would exhibit more respect

  Toward the difference that one may find

  Twixt knowledge and its older sister: wisdom.

  OBI-WAN

  Yea, yet if droids could think we’d all be lost,

  Trapp’d in an abject matrix of machines.

  But to the point: Kamino is a name

  With which I’m unfamiliar. Doth it lie

  Within the fair Republic’s boundaries?

  DEXTER

  Nay, ’tis beyond the fingertips of our

  Republic, far beyond the Outer Rim.

  Belike twelve parsecs past the Rishi Maze.

  It should be simple to discover it,

  E’en for those archive droids of thine, my friend.

  Be wary, though, Kaminoans unto

  Their own do keep—their own that multiply,

  For they are cloners, sharply skill’d to boot.

  OBI-WAN

  These cloners, are they like to act as friends?

  DEXTER

  That doth depend. If I could future tell,

  Or read the meaning to be found in palms,

  Thou’dst find this Dex not in this diner here.

  OBI-WAN

  Well do I know. But thou hast said “depend”—

  Depend on what, thou jolly knave? Speak on.

  DEXTER

  On how thou dost comport thyself, good man,

  On whether they do feel they’ve elbow room

  To test the limits of thy pocketbook.

  OBI-WAN

  My thanks, dear friend, thou art a helping hand.

  [Exeunt Dexter, WA-7, and restaurant patrons as Obi-Wan leaves the diner.

  A mystery’s afoot, with clues but scant.

  We Jedi are protectors, wise and true,

  Sent forth to champion Republic’s cause.

  Detective work hath rarely been my call,

  Yet now I find myself embroil’d in this

  Most strange and enigmatic happening.

  A poison’d dart, and hints of distant cloners:

  These are the smatterings with which I must

  Make sense of an obscure conspiracy.

  The late attack upon the senator

  Hath pointed to the bounty hunter fled.

  The bounty hunter’s instrument of death

  Doth point toward Kamino, far remov’d.

  This foreign planet, of which I know naught,

  Points me unto the Jedi archives now.

  Mayhap ’tis thither I shall answers find.

  Enter JOCASTA NU, as OBI-WAN KENOBI enters the Jedi archives.

  JOCASTA

  Let me my full assistance proffer, sir.

  OBI-WAN

  Indeed, I’d be most grateful if thou wouldst.

  JOCASTA

  Belike, Master Kenobi, you are here

  Replete with questions dancing in your mind,

  A problem truly difficult to solve?

  Reveal it unto me; I’ll give you aid.

  OBI-WAN

  In this thou speakest well, for I do seek

  A planetary system call’d Kamino.

  No system thus nam’d holds the archive charts.

  [Obi-Wan and Jocasta approach an archive computer.

  JOCASTA

  Such name I’ve never heard in all my years—

  Are you most sure of its coordinates?

  Review, I bid you, what you have been told.

  OBI-WAN

  Expected I the unknown planet should

  Appear within this quadrant—yea, e’en here—

  Which lieth just below the Rishi Maze.

  JOCASTA

  Except no system doth appear therein,

  So it doth not exist: it must be thus.

  OBI-WAN

  O, marry, ’tis impossible, methinks—

  Mayhap the archives are but incomplete.

  JOCASTA

  Existence hath it none declare the archives!

  [Exit Jocasta.

  OBI-WAN

  The trail runs even colder, if indeed

  The system I most keenly seek doth hide.

  Perchance a wisdom far beyond mine own

  Can help uncover what I would reveal.

  Thus, onward, Obi-Wan, and Yoda seek—

  Mayhap his sage, calm intellect may find

  The answer to which I am thus far blind.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 2.

  On the freighter to Naboo and on the planet Naboo.

  Enter PADMÉ, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, R2-D2, A SERVING DROID, and ASSORTED PASSENGERS.

  DROID

  [to R2-D2:] Go hence, thou brutish knave, we serve

  no droids!

  [Exit serving droid.

  R2-D2

  [aside:] Belike he would appreciate

  A serving of my fury on his pate.

  We droids are e’er revil’d, e’en by our own—

  Thus must I toil each hour to prove my worth

  And show the noble soul that lies within.

  [To Padmé:] Beep, whistle, meep.

  PADMÉ

  —Mine humble thanks, R2.

  [To Anakin:] What thinkest thou, is’t difficult to hand

  Thy life entire unto the Jedi order?

  Thus mayst thou never visit where you like,

  Nor things thou dost enjoy engage withal.

  ANAKIN

  Indeed, or be with those I truly love.

  PADMÉ

  Yet doth the Jedi code allow for love?

  Methought that love was for the Jedi bann’d,

  Forbidden by the order. Is’t not so?

  ANAKIN

  Attachment is prohibited, ’tis true.

  Possession is prohibited as well.

  Compassion, though—love unconditional—

  Is central to a Jedi’s ev’ry step.

  Thus from a certain point of view it may

  Be said we are encourag’d to spread love.

  PADMÉ

  ’Tis clear the words I spoke before did err,

  The boy I knew those years ago is gone,

  For thou hast chang’d so much in time’s swift stride.

  ANAKIN

  Yet thou art constant as the rising sun:

  Unchanging, faithful, bringing light to all.

  Thou art as I bethink thee in my dreams.

  PADMÉ

  [aside:] Such dreams of me he doth with ease confess,

  Which doth both shock and move my lonely heart.

  ANAKIN

  Behold, it is thine home, for we arrive

  Upon the verdant shores of sweet Naboo.

  [Exeunt passengers as Padmé, Anakin, and R2-D2 make their way to the court of Naboo.

  PADMÉ

  My mother country, land where I was born—

  Each time I see her, I am all delight.

  ANAKIN

  Thou heardest of my dreams, my lady—tell

  Me, what was it like to be queen of Naboo?

  PADMÉ

  Though I was very young, I was not yet

  The youngest queen elected in Naboo.

  Yet as I do look back, I wonder if

  I was prepar’d the task to undertake.

  Belike I was not old enough to bear

  The onerous responsibility.

  ANA
KIN

  And yet thy loyal people do believe

  That thou didst serve them well. Did they not move

  To so amend the law that thou couldst stay

  A longer time as their belovèd queen?

  PADMÉ

  It was relief beyond all measure when

  My double term was up and I was free.

  When our new-minted queen did call on me

  To serve the Senate, I could not refuse.

  ANAKIN

  Aye, she did judge aright, for sorely doth

  Th’Republic need strong voices such as thine.

  It pleaseth me that thou didst choose to serve,

  As I work t’ward the fair Republic’s good.

  Enter QUEEN JAMILLIA, SIO BIBBLE, and MEMBERS OF THE NABOO COURT.

  PADMÉ

  My queen, your humble servant hath arriv’d,

  And swiftly shall I give you my report:

  The vote is near and shall be ta’en anon.

  I fear that if the senators do vote

  To make an army in Republic’s name,

  We’ll see a period of civil war.

  SIO

  It must not be! We’ve not seen war to such

  Degree since our Republic first was form’d.

  JAMILLIA

  Do you see any way, good Senator,

  That we through some negotiation may

  Convince the sep’ratists to end this threat,

  And join, once more, into th’Republic fold?

  PADMÉ

  If they feel threaten’d, they shall never join

  The flock, but go astray like errant sheep.

  They shall flee to the Commerce Guilds or to

  Trade federations, which shall shepherd them.

 

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