Silent Love

by Casey Clipper

  Less than a minute she allowed herself to wallow in self misery. She couldn't afford another period of depression. Or therapy. Closing her eyes, she willed her dark thoughts away. Time to get back to work. She needed to earn money for that necessary new computer and house program.

  3

  For the first time in what felt like months, Sean felt rested and revived. His three days off benefited him greatly. Except for one thing. Beth. That girl riddled all of his thoughts his entire time off. He didn’t know what the hell he was thinking. She couldn’t be near thirty years old. That age difference should have him leaving her in the parking garage, but it didn’t. Nope. All he envisioned were those ocean blue eyes gazing up at him in utter bafflement.

  Sean stepped off the elevator onto the cardiac floor of the hospital with coffee in hand. His stomach growled. At the hospital since seven that morning, he forgot to eat breakfast, and now his body let him know it was pissed off for not feeding it. He went to the nurse’s station to say hello to the staff before diverting to the cafeteria.

  “Doctor Millen,” Jessie, a recently graduated nurse, enthusiastically greeted him.

  Sean smiled. “Miss Denala.”

  “Oh, you know you can call me Jessie.” She blinked rapidly.

  Yeah, that wasn’t happening. This girl had been trying to get into his pants since her first day of employment. He was not about to hit that. Though Ryan had. How his brother managed to get his hands on the nurses at this hospital was confounding.

  “Doctor Millen,” nurse Roberta asked for his attention professionally. “Mr. Horne’s family would like to speak with you regarding his condition.”

  Sean nodded. “I’ll be in a minute.”

  Breaking the news that there was nothing that could be done for a family member whose body would never make it through a transplant or an artificial heart, never got easier. He needed the backup of a social worker.

  “I’ve called social,” Roberta said.

  That woman was a dream come true nurse. “Thanks.”

  “Doctor Millen,” Joey interrupted, “your brother is on line three.”

  What the hell did Ryan want? When he’d left this morning, he could hear his playboy brother pounding the hell out of some chick. When he’d brought her home, who knew? Thank goodness their walls were solid. That solid oak headboard of Ryan’s could’ve caused them to need some carpentry maintenance.

  Sean picked up the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hey, what time are you off today?”

  “Great. Fine. How are you?” he asked sarcastically.

  Ryan chuckled. “Sorry. How are you feeling this morning?”

  “Better,” he answered. “I get done at five.”

  “Dinner?” Ryan asked.

  “Where?”

  “How about with Court at Murphy’s?” Ryan suggested.

  “Did she call?” He knew his cousin too well. If anyone could have laid a guilt trip him, she could.

  “Yeah,” he said softly. “I feel bad. We haven’t stopped by to see her or the babies in over a month.”

  Had it really been that long?

  “Okay, but not Murphy’s. Somewhere else,” Sean insisted. Murphy’s was her husband’s bar where he was positive frequent laundering occurred.

  “All right, I’ll text you where,” Ryan said, his voice suddenly lighter. “See ya later.”

  His brother disconnected the call before Sean could reply. He grinned, shook his head over Ryan’s normal antics, and placed the receiver back on the cradle.

  When he looked up, Jessie stared at him all starry eyed. Sean internally rolled his own eyes. This girl needed to get over him. Sean pulled his pen out of his pocket and took the Horne chart off Roberta.

  “The social worker’s in his room,” she said.

  “Thanks.” Now off to break the horrible news to a desperately hopeful family.

  ***

  Beth silently slid into the cafeteria before the lunch hour crowd descended like vultures. It was just plain easier for her that way. She stepped into line without grabbing a tray. She’d eat at her desk…again. While she carefully examined the less than appetizing food, she took note of the price for each item to be certain to pull out the correct amount of cash. A bottle of water, a tuna fish sandwich, a fruit cup, and an oversized chocolate chip cookie would cost her absurdly fifteen dollars.

  As she approached the cashier, she felt the presence of someone behind her, but didn’t bother to turn around. They’d end up engaging, and she didn’t want that to occur. When it was her turn to pay, the portly woman behind the register looked past her to whoever stood behind her and smiled brightly. A large body stepped around Beth and held out a fifty dollar bill. She followed the large frame up and up and up to find Sean Millen grinning down at her.

  “Hi,” he said.

  She smiled shyly.

  “I’ve got your lunch,” he said.

  “Oh, no, please, no thank you,” she said quickly.

  He smiled wider, showing off a set of perfect porcelains, which made his features look years younger, and if possible, even more striking. Square jaw, clean shaven, distinctly sharp facial features. He should have been on a movie set somewhere, not cooped up on in a hospital donning scrubs.

  She stuck her twenty out towards the cashier, who shook her head. “No, no, Doctor Millen wants to pay for your lunch, dear. We never argue with the man or his brother.”

  Beth sighed and sagged. She saw Sean chuckle and looked his way, her eyes narrowed.

  He held up his hands. “It’s not that big of a deal, Beth. Let me buy you lunch.”

  “All right,” she relented.

  “Great, now you have to sit with me since I bought you lunch.” He spun and darted towards an empty table.

  Gaping, she wanted to argue, but he was already too far away, and all she’d do was create a scene. A tray magically appeared in front of her. She looked to the cashier, who grinned and nodded for her to take the plastic germ harborer. Sullenly, she snatched the thing and sulked over to Doctor Millen. Did everyone in this hospital know him?

  When she approached the table in the corner – how he snagged that prime one she had no idea – he stood beside a chair, waiting. Gallantly he pulled out the chair for her to sit. She slid into the seat feeling self-conscious. How was she ever going to pull this off?

  His fluid movement around the table caught her eye. Thankfully he took the seat across from her, but not before greeting two middle-aged nurses who wandered into the cafeteria. Flirt.

  "So we meet again," he said.

  She tried to focus on what he said, but that mouth of his was far too sensual for a male. A full bottom lip and a top lip that wasn't too full but not thin. What would that mouth feel like on her overheated body? Oh, lord.

  His mouth quirked knowingly.

  Busted.

  "I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked quietly.

  "We meet again," he said.

  Desperately she tried to focus on him and not look at the table to avoid eye contact. Somehow she managed a polite smile. Maybe.

  "What do you do here at the hospital?" he asked.

  She jumped on the opportunity to disconnect from his mesmerizing gaze. Instead she focused on positioning and unwrapping her lunch on her tray. "I work on charts and billing to make certain everything is correct to get the highest re-imbursement from the insurance companies."

  A quick glance up, she saw his eyes light up with mirth. "So you're the reason I get into trouble with the department head."

  "Aren't you the head of the cardiology department?" A slight tilt of her head. Did she is misread a document?

  He laughed. "Yes, and I'm constantly in trouble with myself."

  Unable to help it, she laughed. Not only good looking, but a sense a humor as well. Whatever woman held his attention at home sure was lucky. Wait, was he married?

  "Are you married?" she blurted.

  He spat out the sip of coffee he took. "Um, no. I wouldn't
be sitting here if that was the case," he answered.

  For some odd reason, she felt relieved.

  "Are you?" he asked.

  She shook her head and bit her bottom lip. Four years ago she thought she'd be engaged, married, and have popped out two kids by now. But life had had different plans for her.

  "Are you dating anyone?" he asked. He reached across the table and tugged her bottom lip from her teeth. A quick brush of his thumb over her lip caught her off guard. His hand slowly dropped back to his coffee cup.

  "No," she said softly.

  That answer caused his features to brighten. "Perfect," he said. "How about dinner with me tonight?"

  "Oh, I can't‒"

  "Why?" he interrupted.

  "I don't think that would be a good idea. You're a doctor here and I'm just a‒"

  He held up his hand and interrupted her. Again. "Don't even finish that sentence. There's no reason or hospital policy that prevents me or you from going out with each other."

  A cocked eyebrow challenged her to come up with a retort. She had nothing.

  "Shit, wait, tonight's no good. I'm having dinner with my brother and cousin. She'll murder me if I cancel on her," he smiled indulgently. "How about tomorrow night?"

  A Friday night date? That might be too much pressure for her. Why couldn't they do a Saturday lunch or Sunday brunch?

  "I can't do tomorrow," she said. "How about Saturday afternoon?"

  He studied her, not responding for a long minute. "You don't want to do Friday night?"

  She shook her head.

  "Do I make you nervous?" he asked.

  How very blunt and astute.

  She nodded. Might as well be just as straightforward.

  His features went soft. "Don't be," he said. "If it's too much for you, we can do Saturday afternoon. I won't push."

  Her vision went blurry. Not used to people treating her kindly, she had to look away so he wouldn't see her tears. Trying to be discreet, she swiped under her eyes. She would have never looked up if he hadn't knocked on the table to grab her attention.

  "Are you all right?" he asked, his dignified stature softening.

  "I'm fine," she whispered. "Saturday afternoon is good," she said quickly before he asked any more questions. Glancing at her watch, she noticed she only had ten more minutes for her untouched lunch. "I should go back up to my cubicle." She'd take her lunch with her so she wouldn't have to eat in front of him yet.

  "I'll walk you up," he said.

  "Oh, no. Doctors aren't seen on my floor," she said while gathering her food.

  "Beth," he said.

  "Sean," she returned.

  A little smile curled his lips. "I'll let you win this one, but I'm not a man who likes to be told no."

  She snorted. "I bet."

  That arrogance personified on most men would be a turn off, but on Sean it worked as confidence. An assuredness that couldn't or wouldn't be deterred. She'd never met a man like him. More than likely his personality was due to his age. Crap, the entire time she hadn't considered their age difference. How old was he? Was that what he saw in her? A young woman he could tote around on his arm.

  "How old are you?" she blurted.

  He scowled. "Does age matter to you?"

  "Are you only asking me out because I'm a young woman to have on your arm? Or did you find out about me and think I'd be easily fooled?" she spat. "You wouldn't be the first." She jumped up from her chair, grabbed her purse and the rest of her food, and rushed away from the table. She didn't want his answer.

  Only feet away from the elevator, a hand grasped her bicep and spun her around. The look of fury on Sean's face spoke volumes, though he didn't say a word. Instead, he crushed his mouth onto hers. Hard. She wanted to push away but didn't have it in her. Hands filled with food, purse hanging off her shoulder, she was essentially trapped by his looming frame and his firm grip on the nape of her neck.

  He swiped his tongue against her lips, wanting her to open for him. If she hadn't been so angry, she might have complied. Frustrated, he yanked back. Taking her face into his hands, he scanned her eyes. She refused to look away. She'd been a target of too many men at the hospital to allow herself to become a victim again of what they considered a game or a "sure thing."

  "I'm thirty-nine, Beth," he said. "Thirty-nine and single. Thirty-nine and know what I want. I don't play games. Never have and not about to start. What am I to know about you that would have me toying with an intelligent, beautiful young woman, instead of trying to wine and dine her?"

  He didn't know?

  "Please." She tried to push away, but the man was strong as hell.

  "Beth," he said, but released his grip.

  She turned and rushed down the hallway, away from the lunch crowd onlookers. She could manage to embarrass herself all on her own without the help of an extremely handsome doctor.

  4

  Sean stood dumbfounded, like a complete idiot, by the elevators. What the hell just happened? They were having nice conversation. Things going smoothly. Then...freak out. Were all women crazy?

  "Well, that won't have rumors flying," his younger, smartass brother said from behind him.

  He groaned and closed his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  "Got called in. Thought I’d stop by to see if you wanted to grab lunch before I started. Court's gonna be piiiisssed. It's all on you tonight." A firm hand landed on his shoulder.

  "Great, I'll get to hear her bitching all night that you stood her up," he moaned.

  "Yep." Ryan had the audacity to laugh. "What was that about?"

  "I don't know," he answered and rubbed the back of his neck.

  Three male nurses leaving the cafeteria approached.

  "Hey, Doc, you hitting that?" the youngest one said. What the hell was his name? Sean scanned for a tag.

  "I hear she's a firecracker in bed," the taller one said and waggled his brows. "Though she'd never hear herself." He then laughed at himself.

  "What the fuck does that mean?" Ryan huffed and went into his natural defense mode of women.

  "She's deaf," the middle nurse said. "That's Elizabeth Connors. She's known around the hospital for how gorgeous she is, but she can't hear a damn thing. You should listen to the men in administration talk about her when her back is turned. Man, it's a good thing she can't hear. Can you say sexual harassment?"

  It was like an out of body experience. How it happened, he didn’t know. One second Sean was listening to the three idiots talk about the loveliest woman he'd met, and the next, the middle man was lying on the floor with a bloody nose. Now his brother had him in a bear hug, holding him back from ripping the other two throats out. Literally. He'd done that once while he served as a SEAL. Saved his and Ryan's life.

  "Get the fuck out of here before I let him loose," Ryan barked.

  At that point, hospital staff, security, and visitors gathered around to witness the scuttle.

  "You talk about her like that again, you'll be talking through a fucking tube," Sean snapped. He was hot. And not in a good way. Killing anyone who spoke about Beth in a derogatory manner wasn't beyond his capabilities.

  The three young douches scampered away after picking their friend off the floor.

  "Calm down, Sean," Ryan said evenly into his ear. "Before security decides to step in. They're only leaving you alone because I have you."

  Sean shrugged out of his brother’s hold and jabbed the elevator button.

  Ryan stepped in his path. “What are you going to do? Go up and confront her? At her job? Humiliate her?”

  “I want…I…” What the hell did he want? Beth owed him nothing. They didn’t know each other. So demanding answers to his numerous questions was out. Fuck. Was she deaf? His mind rattled, there was only one way to get clarification.

  The elevator doors opened, Sean stepped inside and punched the administrative floor button. The crowd that had formed started to disperse.

  “Should I come with yo
u?” Ryan cocked a brow.

  “No,” Sean spat.

  His brother smirked knowingly. “I’ll see ya later.”

  The doors closed.

  When Sean reached the administrative floor, one of the two blonde receptionists greeted him. “Hi, Doctor Millen. What can I help you with?”

  “Where can I find Beth Connors?” he growled.

  “Is there a problem?” she asked concerned.

  “Nothing for you to worry about,” he said, toning down his inner beast.

  “Um…she’s straight down the hall, the first door on the right, then head towards the back of the room on the left,” the woman answered.

  “Thank you,” he gritted out, not in the mood for pleasantries.

  Sean stalked the direction he was told, and a long two minutes later, he found Beth, her back towards him, seated at her cubicle desk. Her thick, coal black hair laid in beautiful waves, and her slender shoulders were hunched over while her body slightly shook. Was she crying?

  “Beth?” he asked, testing what information had been snarkily tossed at him.

  No answer.

  “Beth?” he asked again, louder this time.

  Nothing.

  His heart started to pick up its pace.

  “Beth,” he said firmly, his military tone seeping out.

  Nadda. His stomach dropped to his feet. How had he missed it? Or had he? She did focus on his mouth when he spoke. He’d arrogantly thought she’d been attracted to him. She’d been lip reading. When he had to knock on the table to get her attention earlier, he hadn’t thought twice. He figured she’d been embarrassed over her tears.

  But did it matter if she was deaf?

  Hell, no. All it did was make her even more attractive. She was living life and blending into her world to the best of her ability. She wasn’t allowing her hearing loss to hold her back. Good lord, she was phenomenal.