Silent Love

by Casey Clipper

  “Excuse me for asking,” he said hesitantly. “How long ago did you lose your hearing?”

  “Not long over four years ago,” she answered.

  “I see,” he said.

  Thankfully the waitress interrupted with their dessert. Sean watched in total fascination as Beth dug into her rich chocolate cake, took a huge bite, then moaned and closed her eyes in sheer delight. Fork held still in mid air, his warm apple crisp steamed and melted the vanilla ice cream. He watched her take another bite, oblivious that she held his attention. She was centered on that piece of chocolate. Another small moan escaped her lips, and this time the sound made his body stand at attention. The way her lips wrapped around that fork was purely sensual. He could envision her mouth doing the same to him, down on her knees, while he pushed inside that mouth, those full lips sucking him while that pink tongue laved at him.

  A groan bubbled up from his throat. He wanted her. Under him. He wanted to strip off that blouse and get his hands on those large breasts. He wanted to grasp her hips while he pounded into her tiny body and make her scream his name. Closing his eyes, he tried to will away the image. There was no possible way he could stand up to leave anytime soon. At least not without embarrassing himself.

  When he opened his eyes, Beth had the dessert three quarters gone. Finally she looked at him and flushed brightly. She bit that bottom full lip, and her tongue darted out to swipe the tiny bit of chocolate at the corner of her mouth.

  “I love chocolate,” she whispered.

  Sean laughed. “All chocolate or just cake?”

  She flushed even brighter. “All. It’s my weakness.”

  At that admission, he was enthralled even more.

  5

  Like a true gentleman, Sean walked Beth to her door. She fumbled with the keys, slightly nervous of his expectation for the end of their evening. Dinner had been wonderful, in fact, the best first date she'd ever been on. Though, admittedly, she didn't have that many first dates in her past. Afterwards Sean had taken her to The Point, where they strolled around the fountain and enjoyed the warm evening. They watched bicycle riders, women with strollers, and boaters enjoy the three rivers and pleasant weather. She couldn't remember when he took her hand into his and laced their fingers together, but still felt his large, firm grasp linked with hers.

  Finally she managed to get the door unlocked and went to step inside. Sean placed his hand on the small of her back. His heat from his body radiated off him, warming her, when he came up behind her extremely close. A quick glance over her shoulder, and he shook his head.

  "Let me walk you inside and check to make sure everything is safe," he said.

  How much did she wish she could hear his inflection? She bet his military background came through. Strong and confident with a deep tone.

  Ignoring him, she took one step inside, opened a box located on the wall next to the door, punched in a code, and turned off the alarm system. "My dad bought me this state of the art system when I moved in."

  When she looked back at him, his brows were drawn together.

  "I'm still going to do a quick check," he said.

  It took him all of two seconds to check her tiny home, while she waited by the open front door for him to return. He nodded. "All's clear."

  She laughed. "Okay."

  Invading her space, he took a step closer, his large frame towered hers. His masculine scent, a mixture of musk cologne and his own natural fragrance wrapped around her, drawing her into him.

  "Can I see you again?" he asked.

  Her heart fluttered. He wanted a second date. But was that because she hadn't slept with him? Every date she'd gone on, which was less than a handful, in the past four years ended with the guy trying to maul her at the end of the night. Why, she had no idea? She didn't flirt, didn't bat her eyelashes, or coo at men. Hell, she refused to make eye contact. But it always ended the same, the men storming away angry with her.

  "I don't know," she answered. What if he turned out to be just like the others? What if all he wanted was to get her into bed and put another notch on his headboard? Sean and his brother had that reputation.

  His mouth became a thin line, but he took another step closer, their bodies brushing against each other, reached up and ran his thumb over her high cheekbone. In seemingly slow motion, his left hand snaked around her waist, and he leaned down, his eyes focused on her lips and descended upon her mouth. His right hand slid to the nape of her neck. Molding his mouth to hers, the taste of apple lingered, mixed with his natural taste. His tongue tested the waters and gently swiped against her lips. Unable to stop herself, she opened up to him. Her entire body quaked; he had to have felt her tremors under his touch. The moan that boiled from his throat vibrated down hers. His hot, moist tongue danced with hers. She melted into him, her body going limp. She lost her breath. Literally, he stole her breath. Her mind went dizzy. Grasping his shirt into fists, she held onto him tightly. They fit well together. Even for her tiny stature and his larger than life physique. His big body surrounded her but didn't crowd her. If that made sense.

  All too soon, Sean broke the kiss with a brush of his lips then slightly pulled back. They both fought to get air into their lungs. His forehead rested against hers while her eyes remained closed. He said something to her, she felt his lips move against her nose. That's when she felt his entire body stiffen, his reaction to forgetting she couldn't hear what he said. Her heart sunk. For the first time in years she had felt like her old self. On cloud nine in the strong arms of a man. Her hearing brutally stripped from her hadn't mattered in those few moments with him. Then reality. No man would ever be able to hold her then whisper to her in the dark while they lay in bed together. If her back was turned, no guy would be able to walk into a room without the fear of frightening her.

  Taking a step away from him, she tried to keep her disappointment from showing. Sean blinked.

  "Beth," he said.

  "I had a good time, Sean. Thank you for dinner," she said. Time to end this before it became a second date.

  He shook his head, reached out and grasped her hands, then yanked her into his rock solid body. "Don't. Please," he said. "Don't push me away. It's easier for you to do that, isn't it? You have to give me a chance to learn, Beth."

  "You don't understand‒"

  "You're right, I don't. But give me enough credit to be willing to try and understand," he said. She watched his jaw clench and flex.

  "Sean," she tried to argue but didn't feel the urge behind it. Tired of being alone in her silent world, her days ran together. She may have been leading a life, but she wasn't actually living. Sean was obviously a force a nature. Undoubtedly any woman he chose to love he'd bring into that world, and she'd have to keep up. Until now she hadn’t realized how much she desired that attribute in a partner.

  Without warning, he kissed her hard on the forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow at the hospital."

  Before she had a chance to argue, he waltzed out the door. Damn it. Instead of going after him to tell him forget it, she stood, cemented in place, resigned that Sean wouldn't be easy to brush off.

  ***

  Sean stepped through his home and was immediately assaulted by the sounds of his brother grunting and a woman screaming his name.

  Fuuuuck.

  He'd already been jacked up earlier watching Beth devour chocolate cake, how the hell was he going to get through a live porn show? And what the hell was his brother doing home? He was supposed to be working. Good lord, if their cousin found out they were home, she'd have both their balls in a sling.

  Quietly he closed the door behind him. Using his superb SEAL techniques, he made it up to his bedroom, unnoticed by his brother, who had the blonde nurse from last night against the hallway wall, with his pants around his thighs.

  When he slipped into his bedroom, he glanced at the clock. Nine-thirty. He didn't have to be at work until noon tomorrow. Standing in the center of the room, he couldn't spend the next few hours w
aiting to fall asleep. He wasn't even close to feeling exhausted, and his mind raced with concern over his last moments with Beth. Her willingness to automatically push him away bothered him. What she didn't comprehend was even though she couldn't hear a thing, she wore her emotions and thoughts plainly on her gorgeous face. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what she planned. How often did she dump those who tried to get close to her?

  Sighing, he ran a hand down his face. There was only one person he could talk to about this, but first he was going to have to tolerate her rant.

  ***

  "Well, nice of you to make an appearance," Courtney spat. "What do I owe the honor?"

  "Cute," Sean replied.

  "No, seriously, what do I owe the honor, Sean? You and Ryan have made yourselves perfectly unavailable. You don't stop by, you cancel plans, you don't show up when I'm supposed to visit? Is it Derrick?" Her voice wavered.

  "Court," he said pacifying her. "We've been busy working long hours. Ryan got called into work today when he was supposed to be off. It has nothing to do with you or Derrick."

  They stood in the kitchen, the air between them tight. Derrick stood off to the side, refusing to interfere. Sean noticed when it came to him and Ryan, Courtney's husband tended to take a step back and allow them to work out any issues. Derrick's other henchmen stood quietly in the background sipping on coffee. The two nannies, Jarrett and Russ, sat at the dining room table, silently eating their late dinner, while Mary bustled about as if nothing was happening around her.

  "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I didn't consider how much it might hurt you not visiting."

  He watched his beautiful cousin's enormous blue eyes fill with tears. Such a rarity for her over the past couple years. She'd hardened due to all the tragedy in her life. She glanced down and swiped at her eyes. That's when her husband finally inserted himself. Derrick stepped next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, then leaned down and kissed the top of her head. He whispered into her ear. Whatever he said caused her to nod.

  "She's a bit tired right now, Sean," Derrick said. "Apparently, she'd been pregnant, but is in the middle of a miscarriage. We didn't know until today."

  "What?" Sean gasped.

  "She'll have to have a D&C when the miscarriage is over," he explained.

  Sean stepped around the island, grabbed his cousin, pulled her into his big body and wrapped himself around her. "I'm so sorry."

  Courtney melted into him and silently sobbed. God, he felt awful. A time she needed her two cousins, and they'd made themselves entirely unavailable.

  "You'll be all right. You'll still be able to get pregnant again," he said softly.

  She didn't respond. He kissed the top of her head then rested his chin on her. Instead of asking questions, he allowed her to lose herself in his warmth and love. What he observed while he held her was the amount of care that surrounded Courtney. Not only was her husband in the room, his men, Jarrett and Russ, stayed nearby. No one left even though the moment between them was private. They were all concerned for her and took it upon themselves to watch over her. She truly had become the queen of Derrick's empire.

  Finally she pulled back and wiped her tear streaked face. Her husband wet a towel and handed it to her to wash her face. She gently dabbed her cheeks.

  "Sorry," she said.

  He smiled warmly. "Don't be."

  "So why did you come?" she asked.

  He sighed. "I don't know that's it's appropriate to talk about me now."

  She snorted. "Sean, all I do is talk about me when I come to see you."

  "True." He laughed.

  "What's going on?"

  "I had a date tonight," he said.

  She raised an eyebrow. "You stood me up for a sure thing?"

  "First," he lifted a finger to stop her, "she wasn't a sure thing. We had a nice dinner together, walked around the Point, then I took her home, walked her to the door and said goodnight. So watch yourself."

  Automatically her hands went to her hips. "You watch yourself."

  Yeah, he did need to be careful around his cousin. The men that constantly surrounded Courtney could be trigger-finger happy fools. All of the guys in the house wouldn't hesitate to put a gun to his temple if he pissed her off.

  "Listen, the reason I came here is because I needed to talk to someone about her. I need your advice," he said.

  "Oh," she said surprised.

  "Yeah, oh," he mocked.

  "What's the problem?" she asked. Derrick handed her a bottle of water then silently left the room. Man, he always got the impression Derrick didn't like him or Ryan, but knew that was far from the truth. His closed off personality made it uneasy being in his presence. How Courtney managed to get through to him, he'd never know.

  "She's deaf," he threw out there.

  She tilted her head to the side.

  "Well, she wasn't born that way, something happened, and she lost her hearing. Apparently she's still adjusting. At the end of the date tonight, she immediately put up walls to try and push me away. How do I deal with that?" he asked.

  "You're that into her after one date?" she asked cynically.

  "Yeah," he admitted. "I bumped into her a couple of times. I can't begin to explain how beautiful she is. Her voice is so soft, almost musical. She has a shyness that's endearing, but a lack of confidence that makes me want to wrap her up and protect her."

  His cousin's eyes drilled him. "You do like her."

  "I wasn't lying."

  “Sit.” She pointed to a stool.

  He cocked a brow.

  “Sorry, used to Derrick ordering me to sit. I complain that I’m not a dog,” she said snarky.

  Soft chuckles from the men came from behind him.

  “So what happened that she suddenly put up walls?” Courtney asked.

  “I kissed her, but when I pulled back I didn’t quite put distance between us. I spoke, forgetting she couldn’t hear. I know she felt it against her skin,” he explained.

  His cousin cocked her head to the side curiously again. “I still don’t understand why she would push you away?”

  “I think it’s easier than putting the effort into trying. Not only that, I have a feeling there’s shit going on behind her back,” he growled. "She's hesitant around men."

  “What does that mean?”

  “A snot-nosed nurse spilled that apparently the men of the hospital sexually harass her behind her back. Literally. Because she can’t hear,” he explained. “If you saw her, you’d understand. She’s gorgeous. A body women dream of having.”

  “Wait,” Courtney spat. “You are you seriously telling me that men are making comments about her behind her back purposely because she can’t hear?”

  Sean nodded.

  “What. The. Fuck!”

  “Language, Courtney Murphy!” Derrick yelled from somewhere in the house.

  She rolled her eyes. Pointing at Sean, she said, “You better take care of that shit. No woman, I don’t care if it is or isn’t serious, deserves that kind of abuse.”

  Derrick appeared in the doorway. “Courtney, if you don’t watch your mouth I’m going to shove something into it that will make you think twice about your language.”

  “You wish," she said softly.

  “I’m serious.” he demanded. Clearly Derrick was in a foul mood.

  “Derrick,” she whispered. “Please.”

  Drilling her with a look, he then wheeled around and marched out of the room.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Sean asked. Her husband was not crude, at least outside of the bedroom.

  “He’s as frustrated as I am with losing the pregnancy and feels I should be resting. I do when I'm tired, but I feel fine right now. A little drained, but okay,” she answered. “Anyway, your problem. Does she know about what happens behind her back?”

  “I think,” he answered. “It would explain a lot. Like why she slides in and out of the cafeteria trying to go unnoticed. She won’t look anyone in t
he eyes.”

  “Yet she stays?” Court mused more to herself than him.

  “I just don’t know how to handle this. Maybe it's because I don't know her,” he pondered.

  She pegged him. “That’s because you’re used to women throwing themselves at you and spreading their legs to warm your dick.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Courtney." Derrick marched into the kitchen, and in a fireman’s hold, tossed her over his shoulder. “I’ve had enough of that potty mouth. My wife won’t speak like that. Sean, see your way out.”

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Sean said.

  “If I’m not gagged,” Courtney quipped.

  Derrick smacked her ass as Sean followed them to the hallway and watched his cousin be carted upstairs. He knew better. That display wasn’t about Courtney’s mouth. It was about Derrick needing his time alone with his wife to take care of her health. Her foul language was the excuse. And he’d bet anything his cousin knew that as well.

  On his way out the door, Sean felt disappointed. His cousin hadn't helped him with any answers on Beth. This was new territory for him. Courtney was correct in the fact that he was used to women throwing themselves at him. Having to work for a change was…novel.

  6

  Seated at her desk, Beth pulled up the notes on the patient whose bill was in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Medicare was auditing the chart, and she had to make certain all the i's were dotted and t's were crossed before the paperwork left the office. About to plunge into the work, a large figure loomed behind her. She'd seen his shadow step into the background of her dark computer screen.

  Heart fluttering with nervous excitement, he returned despite her objections.

  A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. Spinning in her chair, Sean stood behind her with a giant grin donning those devastatingly handsome features. Gawd, he should be a model for SEALs 'R Us.

  "Hi," he said.

  "Hi."

  "Lunch today?" he asked.

  She nodded. There was no way she could turn him down. After he left her house last night, all she did was think of him late into the early morning hours. Thoughts of a potential future toyed with her. There'd been a time in her life when she defined herself by the man who held her heart. That changed a long time ago when she'd needed the support of her boyfriend the most, but he checked out. Disappeared. He'd left her at her most dire time.