Silent Love

by Casey Clipper

  "You bitch," he snarled. "You fucking spoiled, rich bitch."

  The widening of Courtney's eyes spoke volumes. He aimed to hurt her. Mission accomplished. Once physically, though that was an accident that he'd beat himself up for later, and once emotionally.

  Sean glanced up when Derk and Smith bolted outside. The look on Smith's face was murderous. He needed to get lost before those two overprotective Rottweilers let loose.

  Wheeling around, he climbed into the car and sped out of the driveway, burning tires as he took Beth back to the sanctuary of his home.

  ***

  Sean and Ryan helped Beth into their home, each comforting her with Sean holding her tightly against him, and Ryan running a soothing hand up and down her arm. She'd sobbed the entire short ride home.

  "I don't understand," she cried when they stepped into the house.

  "Come here," Sean said. He pulled her into their living room and held her on his lap. "I need to tell you why Courtney reacted that way."

  "What did I say? Why was she obsessed over if I saw the man in the car?" she asked confused.

  "Beth," Sean said seriously. He looked her directly in the eyes. "Courtney's first husband was the man in that SUV who died."

  "What?" she gasped.

  "He was murdered that day. Courtney was also hurt, but not nearly the way you were," he said. His chest ached for her, remembering all those tiny scars he'd kissed and licked. An innocent bystander to his cousin's husband's demise. He couldn't imagine the inner strength it took heal when there was no rhyme or reason to that horrible act.

  Ryan stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his large arms crossed over his massive chest. Sean knew what he was waiting for. It would only be a matter of minutes before there was a knock on their front door. If they were lucky. Derrick might shoot his way through.

  "But...why?" she asked.

  Sighing, he slumped back on the sofa. How the hell did he explain Derrick’s illegal lifestyle? Suddenly exhausted, he ran a hand down his face. "You saw my cousin right? How beautiful she is?"

  Beth snorted. "Yeah."

  Sean explained the entire sordid story. Every nightmare detail.

  "You mean I lost everything because your cousin is married to a mob boss?" she asked stunned.

  "You didn't lose everything, Beth. You're still here. You're living." He said softly, "You have me."

  Jumping out of his lap, she paced in front of him. "I did lose everything, Sean," she snapped. "I lost my hearing, my job, my spleen, my fiancé, and almost died."

  Fiancé?

  "Yeah, I was engaged when that car bomb almost took my life. I was supposed to have been married four years ago, but when I finally woke from unconsciousness my hearing was gone." Her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, he tried to stay with me at first. That only lasted six months while I struggled to learn how to live life differently. He couldn't handle the thought of every day going through how difficult it was to adapt," she sneered. "So he left. One day he packed up everything and said goodbye. Told me to keep the ring."

  What kind of mother fucker would do that to her? Sean stood and placed his hands on her shoulders. Looking her in the eyes, he made a vow he never intended to break. "I will never leave you. No matter what happens or how difficult life might get, I won't leave you."

  "But your family is the one who put me in this place, Sean. Do you understand how hard it is for me? Every day I want to give up. I don't want to do this any more. Every day I struggle to get out of bed, get ready for work, live," she said, her voice rising. She was getting herself angry and worked up. He needed to calm her before she talked herself into something she regretted.

  "But you do live. You do keep going. I've noticed a difference in you since we started dating. Beth, you can't let what happened define you. That was a crazy asshole who hurt a lot of people," he said.

  "People who asked for it!" she yelled.

  Ryan stiffened and pointed directly at her. "Derrick’s brother Darren Murphy, Court’s first husband, never asked to get blown up in his car in front of his then pregnant wife."

  She had the grace to flush and nod. "You're right. No one deserves that."

  "Beth." Sean stroked her soft cheek. "Please let go of the anger. Please understand that if your fiancé left you because of what happened, then he didn't deserve you. Understand that it takes more strength to survive than it does to give up. Understand that there are so many people who love you and want you to be happy. Your mom and dad, Ryan, me. Hell, even Courtney will love you when she gets a grip of herself."

  The front door of the house burst open, wood splintered and smacked against the wall. Derrick stormed into the room and went straight after Sean, who pushed Beth out of the way, into Ryan's arms. A hard right met his jaw followed by a quick left square to the nose. Bones cracked under the brute force. Fuck. He broke it.

  Sean stumbled back and caught himself on the recliner. Beth screamed. Out of his peripheral vision, Sean caught a glimpse of Ryan holding her back as he plastered them against the wall. Marching into the room his men blocked the entrance. Fucking Smith had his gun pulled ready to take a shot. God, he hoped Beth wouldn’t have to witness him getting shot.

  "You. Hit. My. Wife," Derrick bellowed, enunciating each word with a punch to his gut or face.

  Sean allowed Derrick his due. Never in his life had he laid a violent hand on a woman, even accidentally. Courtney may have pissed him off, but she was a female and unable to defend herself against him. He wasn't raised that way.

  "It was an accident," he rasped as he took another hit to the jaw. Clamoring upright, he wasn't going to allow Derrick to use him as a punching bag. The first two were free passes, a husband defending his wife, but after that he was taking liberties. Time to end that shit. Tossing out a left hook, Sean nailed Derrick in the jaw. Blood splattered over both of them. He quickly followed with a right rib jab.

  The sound of several guns cocking overrode Beth's pleas.

  "Let them fight it out!" Ryan barked. "Back the fuck off!"

  "That makes it fucking right?" Derrick yelled. "She looks like she's been in a boxing ring." He nailed him in the balls, sending Sean to the floor in a heap. "You think it's all right to lay a hand on my wife?" Derrick grabbed his hair and yanked back his sore, already swollen, bloody face. "If you touch her again, I'll kill you. Cousin or not." Derrick pushed him to the ground, stood, and stalked out of the house, breathing heavy. His men trailed behind him, except for Smith, who lingered in the doorway, eying Sean like wounded prey.

  "Get the fuck out of here, Smith," Ryan snarled. "Sean may not have fought back, but I'll kill you with my bare hands if you don't get walking."

  Smith slanted Ryan a considering glance, looked Beth up and down, then silently turned and left the house.

  Beth screeched and pushed out of Ryan's grasp. She rushed to Sean's side, brushed his wet hair off his sweaty forehead, and started to cry. "This was my fault. I've come between you and your cousin."

  "No, it's not. My fault. It was an accident," Sean croaked.

  Ryan left and came back into the room with a cold dishtowel and ice. He bent down beside him and handed Beth the towel to clean off his brother.

  "Who the hell knew the man could fight so damn well?" Ryan mused.

  "He defended his girl," Sean said softly. "I totally understand."

  Beth stood, handing Ryan the cloth. "I can't do this. I won't come between you and your family, Sean. I'm sorry."

  Turning, she snatched up her purse. Ryan jumped up and stood in her path. "Beth, don't leave. They'll settle this."

  Shaking her head, she argued, "No, this is more than Courtney and Sean, it's Courtney and me. She'll have a problem with me. They all will. And I don't know that I can be around the people altered my life."

  "No," Sean begged. He tried to push himself up but fell back to the floor. Fucking Derrick.

  "Sean, I love you, but I can't do this. I won't be a part of this mess. My life is hard enou
gh without adding this drama to it," she said. "Ryan, it was wonderful to have a brother, especially one as terrific as you."

  "Please, Beth, don't go," Ryan implored. He swore his brother's voice hitched.

  With one final rake over both men, Beth stepped around Ryan and left their home and their lives.

  When the sound of her car pulling out of the driveway smacked Sean in chest, he felt his body shake and heave. His younger brother bent down, slung his arm over his broad shoulders, and helped him to his feet. Slowly they made their way upstairs to his bedroom.

  “We’ll get her back,” Ryan quietly assured him.

  “Ryan,” Sean choked back a sob. If he hadn’t been so beaten, he never would have allowed her to leave. He would have hauled her ass upstairs and made love to her, to remind her where she belonged. With him.

  14

  For the next couple weeks, after he’d healed enough to be able to move without jerky motions, Sean tried daily to contact Beth. He called her, texted her, emailed her, went by her home, and even stopped by her parents’ house. She was nowhere to be found and didn't return any of his messages. When her father answered the door, the man pointed and barked for Sean to get the hell off his porch. If her mother answered the door, she sympathetically told him Beth wasn’t entertaining visitors.

  Meanwhile his close relationship with his cousin broke apart. Sean was absolutely irate with her. If Courtney had just acted like a normal person and wasn’t so goddamn overdramatic, none of this would have happened. But leave it to her to ruin the only relationship he considered marriage worthy.

  His own relationship with Derrick went beyond strained. A week before the blowup, Derrick had bought the building and already leased the bottom floor to Sean, who continued with the process of opening his own office. But that was as far as their relationship went. That is until he threw himself on the sword and went to Derrick to try to salvage their deal.

  Knocking on Derrick's open office door, his cousin's husband glanced up from the paperwork he was absorbed in. "What the fuck do you want?"

  "Can we talk?"

  His two henchmen stepped out of the shadows and took menacing positions on either side of their boss. Derrick casually leaned back in his chair, but that posture didn't fool Sean. It was that of a cobra ready to strike. "By all means," he drawled like an evil train conductor in an old black and white movie.

  Stepping into the room, his body flexed, ready for a verbal or physical altercation.

  "I assume you're here about the money," Derrick tested.

  Yeah, his cousin-in-law was not a stupid man.

  "Yes," he said, squaring his shoulders. "I need to make sure Beth is taken care of."

  "Interesting choice of words," Derrick said. "I feel the same way about your cousin."

  Fuck, foot in mouth. "Clearly you realize that was an accident. I'd never hit a woman. Ever."

  "So you say, but you were angry."

  "Still am," he said dryly.

  Jaw clenched, Derrick didn't respond for a few long, uncomfortable moments. Then the man laid down what exactly was going to happen and was not to be questioned. Any money Sean needed from the personal loan, from that moment on, he had to deal with Jack or Carl, who were about as friendly as a block of ice. Derrick made it clear he refused to deal with him. Sean had to give Derrick credit, his entire entourage stood loyal to Courtney, even to a fault.

  "I'm only doing this because I believe you two will work this out. Maybe not today or tomorrow but some day. The relationship you've grown up with doesn't end suddenly and overnight," Derrick said. "You need to understand the hurt your cousin still deals with on a daily basis from my brother's loss."

  "You need to understand she no longer comes first in my life. That slot belongs to Beth," Sean snapped.

  Derrick cocked a brow. "Get out. I'm finished dealing with you. Jack and Carl are in charge of your loan."

  Yeah, that money went from an insisted gift to a loan. Really he should have predicted that move. That had been a week ago. Meanwhile their parents had tried interfering, but Sean refused to entertain his mom’s and aunt’s words of wisdom about family, blood bonds, blah, blah, blah.

  Standing in the center of the future receptionist office, waiting for a delivery of desks, filing cabinets, and computer equipment, Sean was on his cell again trying to reach Beth but to no avail. Disconnecting the call instead of leaving another message, he sighed, his heart shattered. He was amazed how one woman’s departure had torn him up. He didn’t know he was capable of such heartache, but she had opened up his soul, taken a hold of it, and he’d willingly handed it over. Shoulders sagging, he felt drained of all energy from the lack of sleep or food. His stomach couldn’t handle any form of sustenance without cramping, and he tossed and turned at night with visions of what was missing from his world.

  A soft knock on the open door interrupted his silent misery. Spinning, he balked. Looking disheveled, Courtney stood in the doorway. Automatically he looked past her to see who she brought for security.

  “I’m alone,” she said softly. “I snuck out.”

  Sean snorted sarcastically. “Like a high school girl sneaking out of her bedroom at night?”

  Those matching blue eyes to his shined as she blinked rapidly. A brief pang of guilt shot through him, but he pushed it down. He couldn’t allow Courtney’s hurt to get to him. He was the one who lost too much all because of her.

  “Can we talk?” Her voice shook.

  “I have nothing to say to you,” he said, resolute.

  Regardless of his tone, she never backed down when it came to him and Ryan. She always did know how to push their buttons. She took a step inside the office and looked around. “It’s coming together.”

  “What do you want, Courtney,” he barked. “I’m busy and don’t have time for your shit.”

  Her sharp inhale bounced through the room. Cocking a brow and crossing his arms over his chest, he impatiently waited. They stood ten feet from each other, but it might as well have been a world apart.

  “I came to apologize,” she said softly. “I handled that all wrong‒”

  Interrupting her, he held up a hand. “You think? You had no right putting your hands on her. You had no business acting the way you did. You could have talked to her like a reasonable adult, but that’s not you is it Courtney? You’re the perpetual child, constantly pouting, batting an eyelash, or throwing a tantrum to get what you want. Close to forty years old, and you haven’t grown at all. Even with all that you’ve been through. But now your spoiled rotten behavior cost me the woman I desperately love. So forgive me if I’m not willing to accept your less than sincere apology.”

  Her horrified expression brought him slight satisfaction. “Sean, I never meant to ruin your relationship. I constantly think about that day. I constantly wonder what his last thoughts were, what was the last thing he saw, was he in pain? I just needed to know if she saw anything.”

  “She didn’t see a goddamn thing Courtney because she went through her own personal hell and still lives with it daily. I’ve tried to break through the wall she’s put up around herself and was making some progress, but you fucking destroyed that in a matter of seconds.” He felt himself growing unhinged again. Raking a hand through his hair, he spun away from his cousin, unable to look at her. “I hate you, Courtney. Get the fuck out of my life. I’ve lost enough with you in it. You have your husband and his henchmen to look after you now. You don’t need me any more and I’m tired of your shit. Get out!” he bellowed. His deep anger consumed him. Closing his eyes, he tried to maintain his composure and not put a hole through the newly painted white wall.

  He knew when she left. It took a minute of her silently standing behind him, probably debating on what to do, but she took the smart route and left without a word or another plea for forgiveness. Which he had none for her. His entire life he loved Courtney like a sister, relentlessly protected her, but he refused to put her needs first any longer. There was another w
oman that needed to be first in his life. If he could get her back.

  15

  Beth was miserable. She’d never been more disheartened in her life, and that included when she almost lost her life and lost her hearing. Sitting on her parents’ back deck, she stared out over the in-ground pool and watched her dad meticulously clean the inside with the vacuum. Even at sixty years old, her dad was an extremely handsome man. She admired his tenacity for continuing to keep in great shape and even more for insisting her mom join the gym. Deep down she knew her father was afraid of losing his wife too soon in life. They were both getting up there in age and heart disease ran in both sides of the family, though her parents were a picture of perfect health. They watched their diets and maintained a busy lifestyle that kept them going.

  Through the deck cracks she saw the door to the bottom porch open, catching her dad’s attention. His eyes widened with appreciation and what Beth perceived as desire. Wow, did not want that vision imprinted in her mind. Her mom stepped into view, wearing a one piece navy blue swimsuit with white trim and an eye-hole opening at the front that tied. At fifty-nine, her mom was regally beautiful. No wonder Dad still was head over heels for her. Nothing sagged on her, no wrinkles, no extra skin. She looked to be in her forties rather than about to turn sixty.

  Smirking, her dad nodded an apparent question his wife asked.

  In a way, their relationship reminded her of hers and Sean’s. Her dad was so much bigger than her mom that he engulfed her when he held her. Her mom seemed to relish when his beefy arms wrapped around her petite frame. Beth could relate. Whether in bed, at the movies, at the park, on the sofa, or taking a stroll down the road, there was nothing better than being in the protective arms of an overprotective man. She missed it.