Broken Angel

by Lee Heaven

  The paramedic shook his head no.

  The detective responded, “I’m going to need to speak to Ms. Starr about her side of the story. I’ll come back tomorrow around ninety-thirty. I will come here so you don’t have to worry about leaving. There are officers posted out front for the night and a line has been posted no cameras past it or they will be arrested for trespassing. Please call if you need anything else.” He hands Decker his card, turns and leaves with the paramedics.

  With their exit Decker bends and scoops up my shoes, coat, and purse. Then he presses a few buttons on the elevator. As the doors close Decker puts his arm around me and tucks me safely into his armpit. It’s a place I’ve come to find safety in today.

  ~~~

  “Can we just watch the news instead of a movie? I’m tired and don’t think I could make it through a movie before falling asleep,” I ask Decker as we settle on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and something to drink.

  “Are you sure? There might be a story about what happened tonight,” Decker responded with a worried tone in his voice.

  “Yeah I’m sure. I’m going to have to see it sooner or later,” I said as I grabbed the Sherpa blanket off the back of the couch and settled underneath it. I gave it to Decker for Christmas and it cost me a week pay, but it was big enough that even though we sat on opposite ends of the couch we both fit under it with plenty of room to spare. Plus it was warm and comfy, and who wouldn’t love warm and comfy on a cold night.

  “Ok,” he said as he flipped to a news channel just as the eleven pm news started.

  Sooner or later I would need to face the news coverage that I was spotted with Decker. I hated the fact that my privacy would now be violated. But that was the chance I knew would happen when I agreed to go out to dinner tonight.

  “We have a breaking story here at channel 2 News. Police and paramedics were called out to the building of Yankee star Decker Jensen. We are still gathering information on what exactly happened, but it appears as though as Jensen was returning from dinner with his date when paparazzi over took the young lady and she appeared to be hurt in some matter. As you can see in these pictures from witnesses, there seems to be some kind of trouble and the young lady was knocked to the ground and Jensen was unable to reach her for a few minutes as the cameras surrounded her. As of right now we do not know the identity of this young lady and do not know the full extent of their relationship. We will continue to report as soon as we have more information.”

  “Well that wasn’t so bad.” I started laughing. It really wasn’t. Except for a few pictures there wasn’t much information. But then again there wasn’t much information out there on me. My only hope is that one of my friends or someone who knew me didn’t go squealing to the press about me.

  Decker’s phone started ringing. “Ugh, it’s Jim, my publicist. He’s going to be mad that I didn’t call him. He’s going to want to release a statement.” Decker presses the button to answer. “Hey, Jim, what’s up?”

  Decker yanks the phone from his ear as Jim starts screaming. I can’t quite make out what he’s saying but I can tell by the look on Decker’s face it’s not good. I started to rub my necklace. Only here a few hours and I’m already getting him in trouble with his people.

  “Ok, Jim, calm down. I’ll give you the story so you can release a statement.” Decker took the next couple of minutes to explain who I was and how he had hired me as a caretaker when he broke his leg and was taking me out to dinner for a thank you. He then explained that not being used to all this attention and when the cameras attacked I had a panic attack. He explained that besides a few scrapes on my hands I was fine. Then he hung up.

  I still rubbed the charm on my necklace as he turned to me. “There taken care of. Jim will release a statement in a few minutes and the story should settle down over the next day or so.”

  “Ok,” I said my fingers continuing to rub little circles around my necklace.

  Decker took my hands to calm me down. “Why after I gave you all that jewelry did you still wear the same necklace you always wear.” He raised one of his hands to finger my St. Jude charm.

  Wow he noticed what jewelry I wear.

  “I haven’t taken it off since I got it nineteen years ago.” I can feel the tears pricking my eyes and a few escaped despite my best try of not letting them fall.

  “Who was he?” Decker asked his fingers swiping the tears off of my cheek. I wanted to lean into his hand. I wanted to feel his touch.

  Damn it! Stop thinking like that!

  “Why do you assume it was a he?” Trying to hold back the tears from becoming a waterfall as more escaped down my cheeks.

  “Because of the look in your eyes, it’s a look of love and heartbreak in one.” He looked sad almost like his heart was breaking for the story he knew was coming. He raised his hand again and wiped a few more tears off my cheeks.

  There was no longer a chance of holding my tears back any longer. My breath hitched and then shook as I exhaled and started talking.

  “His name was Ely, he was my soul-mate. I met him February of my freshman year of high school. I know you’re thinking…what does a fourteen year old know about soul mates? But he was. From the moment I met him we were inseparable. He was a friend’s younger brother, same age as me but he was a grade behind me because he had stayed back a year. We all went roller skating one night, the night I first met him, and from the first time we locked eyes we both knew there was something there. We started dating and could never get enough of being with each other. If we weren’t together we were on the phone until our parents were yelling at us to hang up and go to bed. There was always something to talk about.

  “Of course we were just kids and what did we know about relationships and how to work them out. We dated for about five months then we broke up. However, we still remained friends and talked every day. There were no secrets between us. Over the next year we dated a few more times and dated other people. But we were always friends, best-friends. In June of my sophomore year a few weeks before school was getting out for the summer, we had a huge fight. I can’t even remember what it was about now. But we stopped talking for the first time in the two years that we had known each other.”

  I stopped to take a drink and wipe the tears from my eyes. Decker handed me a tissue from a box he pulled from somewhere. His looked told me to continue.

  Thinking about Ely and all that he meant to me was always painful. The love I felt for him was so strong even as kids we knew we were destined to be with each other for life.

  “We didn’t talk or see each other all summer. As my junior year of school started we more or less just ignored each other, didn’t sit together on the bus like we usually did, opposite sides of the classroom if we had a class together and opposite sides of the lunch table. All that time my heart ached for my best friend back. I was lonely without him, even though I had other friends. It was different with him it was like a piece of my heart was actually missing. We finally started talking again just before Thanksgiving. The first time he hugged me after we made up I knew this was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life, where I couldn’t imagine myself not being able to be forever. There was an issue though; we were both in relationships, so I settled for having my best friend back.

  “In January, I started having issues with math so he offered to tutor me. Every day after school, unless one of us had work, we would spend at his house studying. It became just like old times, like we never lost those months of not talking. Plus I was passing math so it was like a double win. I’m not sure how it happened but it was sometime in late April when everything changed. We were horsing around when he picked me up, slammed me to the bed and then pinned me under his body. I know he meant to do it so he could tickle me and render me helpless; he had done the same move hundreds of time. But he never got there, the look on his face changed and then he kissed me. Sure we’ve kissed a million times before when we dated but this one was different. That was the first time we
had sex together.”

  The tears were flowing hard at this point and I sobbed into my hands. Decker wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. I found that crook in his neck and buried my face there again. I sobbed for about five minutes till I pulled away sitting back on the couch next to him.

  “We began an affair that day. Neither of us wanting to be fully together or wanting to break up with the people we were dating, but we couldn’t go on living without each other. We were teenagers, we had no idea how to handle the feelings we had for each other or how to work at the relationship and make it work, what teenager knows how to do that. However, we talked about our future together. How even though I was graduating next year and he still had a year to go we would work it out. The plan was for me to work for a year and save, than we both would take off for south Florida and go to college and spend our life together. Once again we were either with each other every day or on the phone. School got out for the summer and we saw a little less of each other as we were both working a little more and there was no school to see each other, but we would talk every night and some mornings before work.

  “I can still remember the day. I woke up late and tried calling him but he must have already gone to work— of course this was before cell phones. I felt sad I wouldn’t get to talk to him and my heart hurt so bad, worse than anything I felt before. However, I pushed it aside and carried on with my day, I knew I would talk to him later on before we went to bed. It was a gorgeous July afternoon. The sun was shining and amazingly it wasn’t too humid yet. I was getting ready for work with my friend Liz…we worked together and had the same shift a lot of times…when the phone rang. It was our friend Dave and he was asking if I was still friends with Ely. I told him yes and I could hear his breath shake. He went on about how I knew his dad was an EMT and how he responded to a bad car accident call this morning. I knew where he was headed but couldn’t quite get my brain there fast enough. I finally screamed, ‘Dave, how bad is it, is he dead?’ at him through the phone. I heard him suck in his breath and that’s when I knew.

  “I knew that pain in my heart I felt all day wasn’t because I over slept and missed his call before he left for work. I knew the pain is what woke me up. It was the pain of my heart breaking when he died. I knew I lost my soul mate.”

  Decker pulled me back to his side, wrapping his arms around me. I cradled into the side of him, curling my legs around his and resting my head on his chest. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered.

  “I miss him as much now as the day he died seventeen years ago. I can still feel the ache in my heart.” I just sobbed, his soft cotton T-shirt soaking my tears up. He didn’t even bat an eye at it. He just kissed my forehead and held me and let me cry.

  The news sports reports came on and once again our story blasted. Almost the same as the breaking news story before accept this time before he finished talking the newscaster said, “…By the painful look on Jensen’s face we can see that he was scared for what was going on and that something more is maybe there than meets the eye...Wait we just received a statement from Jim Longer publicist for Decker Jensen. It states, ‘In reference to the incident that had taken place at Mr. Jensen’s apartment building earlier this evening. The young woman in question is Sarah Starr. She was hired by Mr. Jensen himself sixteen weeks ago after breaking his leg, as a homecare worker to help him with every day chores and arriving to doctors appointments when necessary. Tonight, as a thank you for all her hard work over the past weeks, Mr. Jensen took her out for dinner. Upon returning to his building they were surrounded by the paparazzi, at which point they were separated. Ms. Starr is unaccustomed to this kind of lifestyle and became overwhelmed. Once she was inside the building she was attended to by paramedics and determined that no more than scratches were her extent of injuries. She is now resting comfortably. Mr. Jensen has asked to please allow her to recover and to continue her privacy…’

  “Well we know the world will be watching this young lady and digging for information to find out who she is. The hearts of thousands of young women everywhere may be breaking soon,” the newscaster added after he finished reading the statement.

  I snickered then sighed, “I’m in for it now, ain’t I?”

  “Don’t worry I’ll protect you, baby.”

  Chapter 2

  At some point we must have both fallen asleep on the couch because I was waking up to sun shining through the window and Saturday morning cartoons on the television. I was still curled against a sleeping Decker both of us under the blanket.

  Man, I could wake like this every day.

  Wow where the hell did that come from?

  Unpeeling myself slowly from Decker so I didn’t wake him I made my way to the bathroom— used the potty, washed my face, and brushed my teeth.

  On my way to the kitchen I went back through the living room to find Decker still sleeping. I strolled past the couch and as I walked behind it planted a kiss on Decker’s forehead ever so slightly so he didn’t wake. He didn’t stir but a small smile spread across his face.

  Time for breakfast I was starving and knew Decker would be when he woke. I plugged in the ear buds and cranked the music up. With Adele’s Rolling in the Deep blasting I set about making breakfast; scrambled eggs, home fries, bacon, fresh fruit, and French toast.

  Beyonce’s Single Ladies came on; I started to try and dance like she did in her video around the front of the stove. I’m sure I looked nothing like Beyonce. I probably looked like a freaking idiot.

  Damn ear buds and loud music did it to me again, as I turned to put the plates on the island I noticed Decker standing in the doorway leaning against the door jamb grinning at me. I screamed and dropped the plate on the counter shattering it into pieces.

  “Shit!” I jumped as I grabbed for a towel to clean it up. Decker started to move my way.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. You just scared the shit out of me. How long have you been there?”

  “Not long.” The grin on his face said otherwise.

  I knew he was lying. I knew he had seen me dancing around like an idiot. I grabbed another plate and dished the food out on it for us.

  “Come here, let me check your hands before we eat,” he said taking a first aid kit from the cabinet. He grabbed me by my hips, leaving a tingling feeling on my skin as he sat me on the counter.

  Slowly he removed the gauze on my palms and inspected my hands. “They don’t look too bad.” He wiped the cuts with something that stung worse then what the paramedics used.

  “Ouch.” I winced.

  “Sorry,” he said, pressing a kiss to my palm.

  He wrapped new gauze around my palm and then proceeded to the other hand. Again when I winced he pressed a kiss against my palm taking the pain away.

  I started to laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked in response to my laughter.

  “I was just thinking. I’m here because you hired me to take care of you because you were hurt and now in some weird twisted fate way I was hurt and you’re taking care of me. Ironic don’t you think.”

  “I guess it is a little ironic.” He chuckled.

  After wrapping my other hand, Decker and I sat down at the table and ate. Unlike being at home I actually ate breakfast. I enjoyed eating here. Decker never criticized that I ate too much. In fact, most of the time he thinks I eat too little and shoves more on my plate.

  After eating I checked the time, it was nine. “Detective Kelly will be here in a half hour to talk to me. I should clean up and go get ready.”

  “I’ll help you,” he said, shoving the last bite of food into his mouth.

  “It’s my job, remember?” I smiled at him as I collected our dishes and walked to the sink.

  “I’m able to help with the dishes now that I can stand.” Before I could argue, he was standing next to me at the sink.

  We loaded the dishwasher and washed the pots and pans. We moved around the kitchen lik
e we knew each other’s moves. We talked and laughed. It was like this was where I was supposed to be my whole life. The front door phone buzzed and Decker went to answer it.

  Emerging from the kitchen still dressed in my leggings and oversized T-shirt I saw Detective Kelly walking through the door. “Morning, Detective.” Damn I wish I had time to change, I must look like shit.

  “Morning, Ms. Starr. Hope the rest of your evening was peaceful.” Even though his voice was soft he held an authoritative tone and it boomed across the room He had one of those voices that if he yelled stop police you did without a second question.

  “Yes it was and please call me Sarah.”

  I hated being called Ms. Starr or ma’am. It always reminded me of all the doctors and hospital visits after my attack. Not one doctor had ever thought to call a scared seventeen-year-old girl by her name. It was always so formal. It was like they were talking to my mom and not me.

  “I just need to go over details of last night. I have Mr. Jensen’s side I just need to confirm your side.”

  “No problem. I will tell you as much as I can.” I proceed to tell him how I came about working for Decker and why we were going to dinner. I told him about the mild attack that came on at the restaurant at the site of people taking pictures, but how the manager put a stop to it and the attack subsided. How when leaving the restaurant the cameras had kept a safe following distance and that didn’t bother me. Then I got tense. Decker saw it and sat down next to me and took my hand in his.

  “Detective, can we finish this later. I don’t want another attack to happen to Sarah so soon,” Decker asked.

  I waved my hand. “I’m fine, Decker. I should get this out now and only have to deal with it once. You both have to understand I haven’t had an attack that bad for probably fifteen years. It’s overwhelming and can take a day or two to recover fully. So the sooner I can get past it the better.”

  “How long have you suffered panic attacks?” Kelly asked.