Broken Angel
Page 17
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you cry. I’m sorry I’m making you cry now. I love you so much. I never want to hurt you again.” He pulls a towel from the bag and hands it to me. Then he bends down and unlocks the chain from my ankle. “Go take a shower and get clean. When you’re done I’ll be here waiting and I will show you how much I love you.” He kisses me again.
I turn and walk into the bathroom closing the door behind me. I turned the water on in the shower and sat on the toilet to let the water warm. I rub my ankle where a red mark now sits, it stings.
One of the many prayers I had learned over the years came to my mind. It was one of my go to prayers for when I had hit a low.
God, give me strength to make it through this day. God, give me strength to find another way. God, give me strength to see what need be done. God, give me strength to see my only one. God, give me strength to fix what needs to be. God, give me strength so I may clearly see. God, give me strength and lead me on my way. God, give me strength for I need it more each day.
I say this to myself as I strip out of my clothes and step into the hot water.
Shampooing my hair was the best thing I ever felt. I washed it three more times. I shave my legs and underarms. I washed my body with the soap, twice. After conditioning my hair, I just stood in the shower letting the hot water try to wash away my fear. Mustering all my strength I knew I had to do this. I just hope Decker would forgive me.
Stepping out of the shower I dry off and wrap the towel around me. I stood looking in the mirror looking for one last ounce of strength. I put that fake smile I used to use on my face and open the bathroom door.
There was Kevin sitting on the bed. He was in his boxers looking at me. I noticed his arm muscle flex and looked at his hand sitting on the bed. It was gripping a gun.
Shit! I suck in a breath. My hands tremble. But I knew I had to get him to put the gun away. “I will not make love to you while you have that.”
“This is to stop you from doing anything stupid,” he countered.
I took a few steps, bent down, picked up the chain from the floor and held it out to him. “I would gladly put this back around my ankle and stay chained to the wall then to make love to you while you held a gun to me. Please give it to me so I can put it on the table over there,” I said pointing to a table just outside the bedroom door. “I promise once it’s over there I will come back in this room and show you how much I have always loved you. I promise I won’t run. I promise. But I will not make love to you feeling threatened. That is not love.”
Kevin sat there for a minute looking from me to the gun and then back. Finally he raised his hand pointing the gun toward me with his finger on the trigger. I shook from fear of him actually pulling the trigger. Blood was pounding in my ears and I’m sure fear was evident on my face.
Then he let go and the gun hung by his finger. He was giving me the gun. I dropped the chain by the bed and slowly took the gun from him. I turned toward the table. Remembering all the gun safety he had taught me when we would go hunting, I unlocked the clip and then checking the chamber I remove the bullet that was in it. Fuck there was one in the chamber. He was ready to kill me. Then I slid the lock into safety. With trembling hands I put it on the table. I turned back toward Kevin and walked back in the room.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to do that,” I said as I sat down on the bed next to him. I wrap my hand in his and lean my head against his shoulder. “I never stopped loving you.”
Kevin turns and kisses me. He leans me back and gripping my hips pushes me into the middle of the bed. He kneeled between my legs. This was the same position he was in when he laughed at me. The same position we were in when he broke my heart. I held the tears at bay hoping he wouldn’t notice the pain flashing across my face
He unfolded the towel and removed it from my body. He didn’t laugh this time. “You are so beautiful. How could I ever have been so stupid?” he said, swooping in and kissing me. His hands are playing all over my body. His hard cock pressing at my pussy, only his boxers were blocking him from sheathing me. His fingers head south and two enter my wet channel dancing and playing along my g-spot. My body betrays me as he sends me into an orgasm.
Kevin brings me down by kissing my neck, my chest, my stomach. He has removed his boxers and hovers over me. The tip of his erect cock is wiggling against my sex. My sweet juices are dripping down my legs.
When my eyes were once again focused on him, he slides into me. I arch my back taking him deeper. My body betraying my mind, but doing what it needed. Slowly but forcefully Kevin slid in and out while kissing around my body.
He was making slow sweet love to me. The tip of his cock rubs inside against my walls building me up for another orgasm. I didn’t want him to make love to me. He didn’t have that right. He wasn’t my lover. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He had me here against my will and I would be damn if I left him make love to me. I didn’t even want to fuck him in anyway, but I was stuck.
Scrapping my nails down his back I beg him. “Kevin, please move faster. Please move harder. I need to cum, make me cum.”
Kevin sat back on his legs, dragging my legs and hips over his thighs. Gripping my ass he slammed into me. Grunting as he moved to a faster and harder pace he pushed me till I exploded. He slammed me three more times before he had his release.
We both collapsed on the bed panting and trying to catch our breaths. Tears burned the back of my eyes and I had to squeeze my eyes tight to hold them back. Kevin’s arm wraps around my waist pinning me to the mattress. Now I just have to wait.
It felt like forever, but it was probably less than ten minutes before I heard his soft little snore. I knew he was asleep, I had heard that snore before. Now was my chance. I slip his arm off of me and he grumbles. I kiss his temple and whisper, “I need to pee I’ll be right back.” He stopped moving and the snore came back.
I went into the bathroom cleaned up and put on the new underwear and bra and slipped on the way too big T-shirt. Looking in my flowered bath bag, I took my butterfly necklace out. Grasping it in my hand, I debated if I should just leave it. But I couldn’t, I needed it.
I turned and opened the door. Slowly walking to the bed, I bend down and grab the chain. Slowly I wrap it around his ankle and lock it. Picking up the key from the floor where he left it. I creep slowly out of the room and put it on the table next to the gun, knowing the chain wasn’t long enough and he wouldn’t be able to reach it. Walking as quietly as I could I make it to the front door. With one last look back at Kevin I unlock the door.
“Sarah! You bitch!” I heard him scream as the door slammed behind me and I took off down the hall and down the steps taking three at a time, three floors down.
Bursting out the front door I stumbled and fell scraping my knees. Quickly getting to my feet I took off down the street toward the stadium. Two blocks I had to run before I hit the sidewalk in front of the stadium. Running through the grounds I head toward the office door.
The stadium feels bigger than normal. Running around it seemed to take forever. Finally I see it the door. I’ve reached it. Grabbing the handle and pulling I burst through landing on my hands and knees, gasping for a breath.
“Shit! Sarah!” I hear Linda scream.
“Grab a blanket!” Matthew Johnson, the president of the Yankees yelled.
Everything is in slow mode. I see Linda pick up the phone. “She’s here at the stadium” is the only thing she says. She hangs up and presses another button. “Detective Kelly, she’s at the…” I hear nothing after that as Matthew has wrapped a blanket around me and I’m crying in his chest.
~~~
I’m sitting on a chair in Matthew’s office, paramedics checking me over and police officers asking me question after question. I’ve told them what happened and where they can find Kevin. A few minutes later, an officer comes in and informs me they have arrested him and he is at the precinct being questioned.
“Sarah!” I hear h
is deep voice yell down the hallway.
I’m up and in the hallway before the echo had faded. I see him, I take two steps toward him, but my legs are wobbly and I stumbled. He has me in his arms and against his body before I hit the ground. “Oh, baby. I missed you so much. Where have you been?”
“Decker.” I sobbed into his chest. I felt my mom and dad latch onto both of us. I just cried and cried. Not letting any of them go holding as tight as I can. Grasping for anything to hold onto, but never letting go of my necklace.
“Ma’am, we need to get you to the hospital. You need to be checked out,” one paramedic says.
“No, I’m fine. Please don’t make me leave him,” I said, grasping Decker’s shirt tighter.
“Baby, you should go. I’ll come with you,” he said, picking me and trying to place me on the stretcher.
“No. Don’t let go of me. Please,” I beg, crying and jumping in his arms trying to climb his chest.
“All right, all right. I’m gonna carry you out to the ambulance.” Looking at the paramedic for reassurance who nodded his head to agree and say it was ok. “Do you have another blanket I can cover her face with?” He was handed a blanket; placing it over my head as we walked toward the door, officially covering me. “We’re at the door. There are loads of cameras but you’re covered and they can’t see you. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” I tightened my grip on Decker’s shirt and buried my face in his chest, trying to hide just a little more.
Then he was out the door, his grasp getting tighter around me and mine pulling at his shirt so hard I thought it was going to rip. It sounded like there were a thousand cameras out there just snapping away, I shivered at the thought.
I heard the ambulance doors close and I was placed on the stretcher. It wasn’t until the ambulance was moving that Decker removed the blanket from my face.
“Where are my parents?”
“Maggie’s behind us with them. Baby, what happened?”
“Kevin—” was all I was able to get out before being interrupted.
“Fuck!” Decker growled. “Why were you alone? Where was Daniel? What the fuck happened?”
“Ma’am, are you hurting anywhere? On a level of one to ten with ten being the strongest, what is your pain?” the paramedic interjected, thankfully not allowing me to tell Decker the story yet.
“Just my ankle hurts. So I would say it’s like a two. He never hit me or anything. He just left me chained to the wall,” I said lowering my face. I couldn’t look at Decker. How could I explain to him I let Kevin fuck me and that my body had betrayed me and had given him two orgasms?
“Ma’am, did you have anything to eat?” the paramedic asked.
I looked at his name embroidered on his shirt it said Jason Cash. “Is that your name, Jason?” I asked, pointing to his nametag.
“Yes it is, ma’am.” He nodded.
“Well, Jason, please stop calling me ma’am, that would be my mother who is in the car behind us. I am Sarah, ok?” He nodded to agree with me. “Yes, he fed me. I ate every day. It wasn’t a lot, but I had food and water every day. He gave me breakfast this morning. So I am quite hungry and a little dehydrated.”
“Ok, that’s good to know. Why don’t we hook you up to an IV so we can push some fluid into you just to be on the safe side?” Jason said as he made notes on a clipboard.
Jason moved and opened a few draws pulling out an IV bag and needle. He stuck me and the drip began as he hung the bag on a hook above me head.
“Talk to me, Sarah,” Decker said.
I shook my head no. I didn’t want to talk at that moment. I just wanted to hold his hand and not think about the hell I just went through. “I’m so tired. I just want to close my eyes. Please let me sleep for a little and then I’ll talk. I just want to sleep.” I was so tired and didn’t understand why, it’s not like I didn’t sleep.
“Ok, baby, close your eyes and rest. We’ll talk after the doctors at the hospital check you out.” Decker sits in the seat next to my head and rubs a hand down my cheek over and over again. I lean into his hand accepting the comforting feeling. I close my eyes, not really hearing a thing just feeling Decker’s hand as it passes up and down my face over and over again comforting myself in his touch that I’ve missed so much.
~~~
The pain in my chest was building. I tried rubbing at it hoping to subside it and the panic that I felt creeping in. There must be fifty people in my room— police, doctors, nurses, security, Decker, and my parents. Plus people lurking around outside my door. Everyone’s asking me question. No one’s giving me a minute of peace and quiet.
I just want peace and quiet! I want to breathe without the thousands of questions. I want to hear nothing and see no one and feel nothing for just a few minutes so I can collect my thoughts and nerves on everything. But no one is giving me anything. Everyone is talking. Talking loudly. Talking insistently. Talking over each other. It’s all just becoming a buzz, like a swarm of bees headed straight at me.
“Get out,” I said but no one heard me. Pain in my chest reaching a boiling point.
“Get out, get out, get out!” I yelled, grabbing the tray of food off the cart next to the bed and throwing it against the floor. The dishes and metal tray making a loud clattering noise against the tile floor.
Everyone started to leave as fast as their feet would let them. My parents, Decker, and Daniel all stood in one corner not moving.
“Get out too,” I said to them pointing toward the door.
“But, sweetheart—” my mom started to interject.
“Get out!” I yelled at them.
“Come, let’s give her a few minutes to relax,” Decker said walking my parents and Daniel out the door.
Grabbing the headphones and iPod off the table, I push them into my ears and search for a song. I need something loud. I need something to block everything out. Scrolling through my playlist I press the play button I turn the volume up all the way and blast Nickelback’s ‘Animal’ officially blocking out all the sounds of the hospital. I sat there for a few minutes just letting the music take me away from everything and the panic I feel creeping all over my body. I finally got up and dragged the IV stand with me into the bathroom I had to pee so badly.
Washing my hands, I exit the bathroom. “Fuck.” I jump ten feet in the air, dropping my iPod, at the sight of someone standing in the corner. I bend to pick it up not even looking at the shadow. I thought I had scared everyone away when I spazed out a few minutes ago. I wasn’t expecting to find someone standing in the room.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” the voice said.
Oh it was a voice I recognized. A voice I haven’t heard in a long time. A voice that soothed me in every way I needed at that moment. Pulling my head up, I see who it is just to confirm I was thinking right. It’s Erica, my second mother, Ely’s mom. I bust out crying as I run to her and throw myself into her arms, almost ripping the IV out of my arm.
“Hush now. It’s all right. I have you. Shhh.” Erica kept repeating as she stroked my hair trying to calm me.
Erica just kept rocking me in her arms trying to calm me. For minutes she just held me. Letting me cry into her arms. Holding me like she had done so many times when I was younger. She was my comfort all those years ago before Kevin came along, and she was here again. Right when I needed her the most.
I finally stop crying. “What are you doing here?”
“You think I haven’t seen the news. As soon as I heard you were found I was in the car and on my way. Baby girl, you know you’re still a daughter to me. Come tell me what happened.” She says as we sit on the bed.
I tell her about what happened and she just listened. She didn’t interject, she didn’t scold. “I knew I had to give into him in order to survive. It was the only way. I allowed him to make love to me. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to enjoy it or like it. But my body betrayed me. I had two orgasms. How can I ever face Decker and tell him the truth?”
“Really?” I asked sniffling.
“Yes, really. Your body and your brain sometimes disconnect and even though your brain is saying no, your body is feeling pleasure. You did nothing wrong. Believe me. But you do have to tell Decker. He has to know the whole story.”
“Oh, Erica, I don’t know if I can. I’m so out of my league to begin with. How can he ever look at me the same way?”
She shook her head slightly. She knew she was having trouble getting to me. I was feeling broken again and she can tell. “You did not see the pain on his face. I watched him and your parents on the television everyday pleading for you to come back. He was so scared. Only someone truly in love could be that scared.”
“I don’t know. It’s so hard.”
“I know, baby girl, I know. Come now, show me what’s in your hand. Your mom said you wouldn’t open it and show anybody. Show me, please.”
I sat staring at my clenched hand. Tears running down my face, I opened my fist to show her the necklace clasped in my hand.
“That is pretty,” she said, wiping tears from my cheeks.
“Kevin gave it to me years ago. It had broken one night and I put it in my bathroom bag I kept at his house. We broke up and I never got my stuff from him. He kept it all these years. When I asked him to allow me to shower he gave me my bag back. Everything in the same place I left it years ago. When I went to leave I took it. I don’t know why I took it. But I couldn’t leave it.”
“Baby girl, I can’t begin to explain why you took this. But when you’re ready you will let it go. You have had a rough life and that is a big burden for you to carry. But that hunk of a man out there is willing to carry that burden with him if you let him. He has to know your past, present, and future. Have you told him?”