Broken Angel

by Lee Heaven

  Thankfully within the same year both of us had grown some strength and left. Unfortunately, mine came with a beating from hell. Chrissy’s came a lot easier. Her husband didn’t even care. Turned out he’d been cheating on her for years. We’d suspected it but could never prove it. He always denied it every time she confronted him.

  But here we both sit, me with a rock on my finger the size of a small planet and a smile to match the sun. Her, well she has her smile back and maybe someday she’ll have a ring to match.

  After dinner I sent Chrissy and Tyler out to deliver the six loaves of bread and ten batches of cookies to some of the tenants. I’m hoping this alone time for them might bring something between the two of them. If nothing happens I hope at least a strong friendship will form and she can lean on Tyler.

  ~~~

  I couldn’t stand the waiting anymore and went to take a bath. I had the iPod blasting on the surround sound. I was in the tub so long the water was starting to get cold. I just didn’t care, I was comfortable. When Leona Lewis Bleeding Love came on I took as big as breath as I could and let my body go all jellyfish as I closed my eyes and sank to the bottom of the tub.

  I hadn’t even let my breath out when I felt a hand wrap around my arm and yank me to the surface. Sputtering and blinking between the water running in my eyes I see the face of a worried Decker.

  “What are you doing? Is everything ok?” he asked worried.

  “Yes I’m fine. I was just taking a bath,” I said coughing.

  “Why were you on the bottom of the tub? You scared the shit out of me. I called your name three times and you didn’t answer. Then I come in here and it looked like you drowned.” His tone clearly showing signs of worry.

  “I was just relaxing. Letting the water take my worries away. The jury still hasn’t come back and it’s killing me.”

  “Yeah, I heard you’ve fed half the building all ready.” He laughed at me.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t laugh at me. I bake when I’m nervous. Besides at least everyone loves us now.”

  Decker had known some of his neighbors but was never really friendly with everyone. Now they were friendly and saying hi to me every time I passed them in the hallway or rode in the elevator together.

  “Come to bed, baby. It’s late and the water is cold,” Decker swoons at me.

  “Let me shower and wash my hair and I’ll be right there,” I said as I stood up and walked to the shower.

  I was barely out of the shower before Decker had me hauled over his shoulder and flinging me onto the bed. My soaking wet hair drenching the sheets. I couldn’t even tell you when Decker shed his clothes. But there he was naked and sliding his tongue over my body as he crawled up me.

  Whenever Decker got back from a road trip he had no time for foreplay. As his lips reached my neck he slammed into me full force, a moan escaping my lips. He was pushing so hard into me, the bed was slamming against the wall. We may not have had time for foreplay but Decker made sure I got mine before he gave up his. Screaming his name I exploded around him like the fourth of July.

  Decker pounded out his orgasm as I floated somewhere above our bodies. Collapsing on top of me we both panted until we both passed out.

  ~~~

  My cell phone ringing woke me up way to early in the morning. Sun beaming through the window, Decker’s arm flung across my body pinning me to the mattress. Stretching I grab the phone and without looking at the caller ID I answer in not the nicest voice.

  “This fucking better be good to wake me up this fucking early,” I bark into the phone.

  “Get up and get dressed the jury is in,” Jason yells.

  “Fuck!” I screamed as I jumped up causing Decker to jerk away and panic. Moving the phone away from my mouth I told Decker to get up the verdict was in.

  “Be at the court house by ten,” Jason said before he hung up.

  Making the round of phone calls to let everyone know the jury was in and hoping everyone got to the city on time. It was only seven-thirty so that did give them two and half hours. But traffic can be a bitch at times, especially during the work week.

  Two and a half hours later I’m pacing the hallway in front of the courtroom again. I’ve snapped at my mother three times already because she keeps fussing over my hair that has decided not to cooperate today, thanks to going to bed with it wet and un-brushed last night. Decker has ushered everyone inside to sit to give me a few minutes to myself.

  My cell phone starts ringing and I cringe because I forgot to put it on silent. Thankfully I wasn’t in the courtroom yet. Looking at the caller ID I see it John Hankles. I press the answer key and answer as happily as my voice will let me. “Boston!”

  “Don’t try and hide that nervousness from me. I can see right through your shit,” he barked at me.

  I just whimpered into the phone.

  “I heard the verdict came in. I was just calling to wish you luck and make sure you ok.”

  “I’m a ball of fucking nerves and I feel like I can throw up on the floor right now,” I said almost in tears.

  “You better not throw up again you might not be allowed back in the court house if they have to clean up after you a second time.” He laughed back at me.

  “Ugh please don’t remind me. That day was awful.” I cringed and squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could.

  “No more ledge jumping right?” he asked concerned.

  “No, no more ledge jumping.” I sighed

  “Good ‘cause you scared the shit out of me that day. I don’t know what was worse seeing you on that ledge or hearing the story of your attack,” his voice betraying a little bit of scaredness in him.

  “Try living it,” I tried joking back with him but my voice betraying how terrified I really was. “I’m good now. I do have to go they’re calling me in for the verdict. I’ll call you after.”

  “I’ll be watching the news. I’ll talk to you later. Good luck, little lady,” he said before he hung up.

  Since the day I met him I started calling him Boston. I don’t even know why, he wasn’t even from there. He was from some tiny town in Kansas. And he had called me little lady, well to him I was little. I was only five foot two and John was six foot seven. The height difference between us was funny to watch. I almost had to stand on a chair to have a conversation with him.

  Nervously I walked into the courtroom and took my seat. Decker placed his arm around my shoulder. Kissing me just as Kevin walked in; his scowling face doing nothing but making me even more nervous.

  The judge and the jury enter the room. Turning toward the jury the judges says, “Madam Foreperson, I hear we have reached a verdict. Is that correct?”

  The foreperson stands, holding a piece of paper that she hands to the bailiff, and says, “Yes that is correct.” She has to be the most stunning Asian person I had ever seen. Her hair was long and shiny black. Her eyes were actually a crystal green, I almost wondered if they were contacts.

  After looking at the piece of paper the Judge hands it back to the bailiff who hands it back to the foreperson. “How do you find the defendant?”

  “On count one, New York statue § 135.25 Kidnapping in the first degree we find the defendant guilty. A sentence recommendation of five to twenty-five years. As to count two, New York statue § 135.20 Kidnapping in the second degree we find the defendant guilty. A sentence recommendation of five to twenty-five years. As to count three New York statue §130.35 Rape in the first degree we find the defendant guilty. A sentence recommendation of five to twenty-five years. As for count four New Your statue §130.50 Criminal sexual act in the first degree, we find the defendant guilty. A sentence recommendation of five to twenty-five years,” the foreperson read off the verdict.

  Relief rippled over me as each verdict was read. For every guilty I heard I shed more tears. The hell I’ve been living in with this trial was finally over. The hell of my past was over. Everything was out there. No one could hold anything over my head any more. Decker love
d me no matter what.

  Shuddering as the last verdict came down, Decker wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Looking over Decker’s shoulder I can see Kevin. He was slumped in the chair, his face looking at the floor. For the first time since all this happened six months ago Kevin looked defeated. He looked beaten down. He looked how I felt as I ran from that apartment.

  I hate to admit it but my heart actually broke. It broke for being here in the first place. It broke for having this happen to not just me but him to. It broke because now Kevin would be spending the rest of his life behind bars. It broke because the best friend I had at one point was no long the same man. Somewhere in there he had become a monster.

  After poling and dismissing the jury, the judge turns his attention to Kevin. “Mr. Reed, you have two choices when it comes to sentencing. I may either place a sentence down on you now or we can schedule a court date for no less than thirty days. The choice is yours.”

  Kevin turns and starts whispering in his lawyer’s ear. Chrissy sits to my left holding my hand. Decker is at my right squeezing my thigh. Jimmy and Maggie are behind me each with a hand on my shoulder.

  I can feel the burning in my chest start. I rub at it with my hand and close my eyes. I couldn’t help it and the tears ran over and down my face. I didn’t hear what Kevin’s lawyer said and barely heard the judge start talking.

  “…on count one New York statue § 135.25 Kidnapping in the first degree I sentence the defendant to twenty-five years. As to count two New York statue § 135.20 Kidnapping in the second degree I sentence the defendant to twenty-five years. As to count three New York statue §130.35 Rape in the first degree I sentence the defendant to twenty-five years. As for count four New Your statue §130.50 Criminal sexual act in the first degree, I sentence the defendant to twenty-five years. All counts to carry a consecutive sentence for a total of one hundred years with no less than fifty percent of the sentence served before a consideration of parole.” With that he banged his gavel on the wooden block, ending everything.

  I slid off the chair I was sitting on and fell to my knees. Placing my forehead on the cold tile floor I just cried. Puddles of tears forming on the tile floor. I raised my head up when I heard the chains being put on Kevin. Looking over at him I think it finally clicked into his brain what he had done. Looking at me a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  Decker shot him a glance and started to get to his feet, I placed my left hand on his chest, making sure Kevin saw my ring. I just nodded to Kevin. I knew that was all I would ever get out of him. He knew that that was all he would get out of me. Forever.

  “I need to go to Jersey,” I said to Decker.

  A confused look ran across his face. “Why?”

  “I just do. I need to go to Jersey. I need to do something. I need to go to Jersey,” I begged without telling him why.

  Chrissy shot me a look. She knew why I was going. “I’ll go with you. Bring Decker too, he needs to go. He needs to see himself.”

  An hour later I pulled the car over onto the grass at the side of the dirt path. I turned off the engine and opened the door. Decker went to follow but Chrissy put her hand on his arm to stop him.

  “We don’t go until she falls to her knees. Not until then. We wait till she needs us.” Decker went to protest but Chrissy said, “Just wait. She will let us know when it’s time.”

  Squatting on my legs I kiss my hand and then place it on the headstone. Tears fall from my eyes, “Oh God, Ely. I miss you so much. I felt you today. I felt you holding my hand. I felt you lifting me up. I’m sorry I disappointed you. I’m sorry I stood on that ledge. I’m sorry my life isn’t what you expected or wanted from me. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m so sorry.”

  I lift my face up to the sky and took in the sun. “I did win. I feel bad that I won. I know you sent him to protect me after you died and he did for the longest time. But something changed, something went wrong. Did you know that would happen? Was this part of your plan? Did you know about Decker? Did you send me to Decker or was it just a coincidence? I felt you let go of my hand. I felt you disappear when I needed you. I don’t feel you as much as I used to. Why are you slipping from me?” I said collapsing to my knees and my face pressed to his headstone.

  I feel Decker’s arm wrap around my shoulders but I don’t rise from my position. Chrissy places her hand on my back and kneels down next to me.

  “Baby, whose grave is this?” Decker asked concern dripping from his voice.

  I don’t move just continue to cry into the headstone.

  “Sarah, you have to show him. I didn’t tell him anything. This is your move, only you can,” Chrissy whispered to me.

  Slowly I pressed my lips to Ely’s headstone and sit back on my knees. “Decker, meet Ely,” I say as I wave my hand from Decker to the headstone. Decker just smiled. I have never taken anybody to meet Ely. Not even Shawn met Ely. Decker knew this was a big step for me.

  “Did he answer your questions?” Chrissy asked.

  Shaking my head no. “For the first time in seventeen years I don’t hear him, I don’t feel him. But I think that’s my answer. He was always there to keep me going because I had no one else. But now I have you again, Josie, Decker, and the rest of the guys. I think that’s my answer I don’t need him anymore. I’m exactly where he planned on me being.” I sighed deeply. “That pain in my heart that’s always been there, it’s not as strong.” Snuggling into Decker’s side, “He’s finally laid his plan and made it happen. He’s happy and he wants me to be happy again. He wants me to let go of him and love someone else. He finally let go of me. Now it’s my turn to let go of him.”

  Decker looking a little confused, asks, “So what now, baby?”

  I can’t blame him for being confused. Losing your soul mate is not something everyone experiences. Depending on someone who died to keep you going is something even less people experience.

  “Now you give me two minutes in private to say goodbye to Ely. Then we head back home and start planning that wedding we’re having in four months because we have a lot to do.” I kiss Decker and Chrissy and he returned to the car.

  Looking down at the headstone, I say, “You’re my soul mate. I’ll never stop loving or missing you. I’m ready to be happy again. I’m ready to live the life you wanted for me.” Pressing my lips to the headstone again, I say, “Thank you for loving me and guiding me. I love you so much. I’ll never forget you. I’ll see you next time.” I plant another kiss on Ely’s headstone.

  Standing I brush the grass from my now green stained knees and walk to the car. Chrissy squeezes my hand and Decker plants a kiss on me. Starting the car I spun it around in the dirt driveway and head back to the city.

  Chapter 19

  Who knew the Mets had it in them. It’s only been thirteen years since they went to a World Series. Funny enough the last time they were there was also against the Yankees. They lost in the fifth game. However, here we sit the pivotal game seven. It all gets played out tonight.

  But that’s still hours away. For now I sit at the overly large dining room table. It is covered in wedding stuff. Not one inch of the shiny wood can be seen. It’s even piled on some of the chairs. I just had my last fitting with Vera Wang. I love my dress. I really feel like Cinderella when I wear it. The fitted satin corset top drops down into multi-layers of lace and satin.

  I’ve called Decker’s name three times already. If this man makes me have to get up and go find him I’m gonna have to beat his ass. All we have left to do is settle on a first dance song. You think it would have been easy, but no, we can’t seem to do it. Everything I like he doesn’t and everything he likes I don’t. I mean really Every Breath You Take by Sting, everyone knows that’s like a true stalker song or My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, that’s from a movie where they guy drowns to death, totally not ones to get married to.

  I think it was a joke, at
least I hope it was, but he also even suggested Don’t Cha by the Pussy Cat Dolls. I just about choked him out that day. After I yelled at him for five minutes he stayed cleared of me for the rest of the day.

  “Decker!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I push the chair out from under the table so I can stand up. I walk off down the hall toward the office to find him.

  I find him standing in the bedroom with ear buds in and his back to the door. Oh how this man infuriates me. I’ve been calling his name and he’s blasting music so he can’t hear me. I chuck the pen I have in my hand and nail him in the back of the head.

  “What the hell!” he sputters as he grabs the back of his head and spins around. He shrinks back a little when he sees me glaring at him. “Hey, baby. What’s up?” he asks like it’s nothing.

  “I’ve been calling your damn name for five minutes. What the hell?” I barked at him.

  “Sorry, I was trying to find a song that I thought we both would like.” He looked at me all innocent like with puppy dog eyes. Yeah like that’s going to work. Oh, but it is!

  “Well did you find anything?” I almost hated to ask. I could only imagine the dreaded song he was listening to. I’m just picturing him listening to Billy Idol’s White Wedding. Men are so clueless. I really should have just picked the song and told him that’s it.

  “Yup and I think you’ll love it too.” He hands me the ear buds and starts the song over again. “Just listen.”

  As he presses play I lean against the door jam. The notes start playing. I know the tune but it’s slower then it normally is. And then the words start. I wanted to start crying because it really was perfect, but I couldn’t give him that. I couldn’t give him that satisfaction yet.