The Porter

by Ashley Dotson

  “You need to rest for just a bit,” He said. “Your classmates are fine too, in case you are wondering. All survived. All are healing.”

  Only then did I remember the attack on the seniors at the Springs.

  “How?”

  My mother spoke then, “The how is not important. You just need to know that they are all fine. Their memories were altered. They only remember that they enjoyed themselves. And some had a little too much to drink and hurt themselves jumping from the rocks into the water.”

  “Nice,” I said relieved slightly. “What about Ava? She was hurt.”

  “She took additional convincing. Her mind is sharper than most. It wouldn’t be fooled.” My mother smiled, “She is a special one. We will have to keep out eye on her. I expect great things to come from that girl. She would not allow me to change her memory, and she would not let me heal her arm. It remains broken, but she was willing to go along with our story. She has been here to check on you every day.”

  “Every day?”

  There was something else they weren’t telling me. They were gathering the courage to lay something on me. They were guarding their words, gauging my reaction, like what people do when they were telling you something awful- I could feel it.

  “What are you not telling me?” I asked both of them.

  My dad sighed, “Layla, I never ever dreamed you would have gone into that place.” He shook his head ridding himself of the thought.

  “It’s okay, Dad. Being in Hell alone would have been worse- like it was for Daisy. I think being part daemon made it somehow not as scary. And Orrin was with me.” I smiled.

  “I guess he was. I’m so happy you were able to find him- to help him. I know how important he is to you.”

  I scoffed, “I traveled across the country for him, and I was banished from Providence because I tried to avenge him. He’s more than just important, Dad.”

  “Apparently,” He said under his breath, irritated.

  “Hey, why are you two taking this moment to get all parent-y on me?”

  My mother chimed in, “Well, he is half daemon, Layla. We will always worry about you, it will not matter who you’re with or where this world takes you. That’s our job,”

  “Really,” I folded my arms over my chest, “Really? Your job? Your job is to be my parent? Since when?”

  “That’s enough, Layla.” Dad said angrily.

  I capitulated loudly. I was still a little woozy from my recent trip to Hell and they apparently had some things they needed to say. I hadn’t seen my father in months, I really did miss him, but I wasn’t in the mood. I needed to see Orrin. My daemon and I were both beyond restless.

  “First of all, can you tell us what happened when you were in Hell?” My mother asked.

  I searched the many assailing memories trying to put them in some order. I started with that afternoon of Senior Skip Day. I felt the presence of the Vagabonds and knew they had come for Orrin.

  “You did warn me after all that something was coming, Mom. You said it would be a battle.” I reminded her.

  “Yes,” she said, “but I was speaking more of a battle that involved you.”

  “I guess that’s what happened once we found Lillith.” I told them everything. The story seemed like a vibrant work of fiction, as if I was describing a movie. I relived falling and crashing to the ground. I told them about Orias and Orrin getting his memories back. It was hard to explain about the darkness, how it moved, how everything in Hell fed off our energy and negative emotions. I could still see Daisy immobilized in the glass. I still can’t believe how easy it was to reach inside and pull her out.

  My mother stood stoically, never one to give emotion away, but my dad was dumbfounded. I think at times he didn’t want to believe his daughter was a member of the Vulgar. As a daemonologist, he knew firsthand, and he never wanted that for me- not only to be wrapped up in that world, but to be an integral part in all three realms.

  He hugged me close, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And I’m so, so, glad you’re okay.”

  “Is that why you’re here? How did you guys find out? Did Mr. Reese call you?”

  He smiled and looked at my mom, “Your mother came to me first when you and Orrin first went through the portal. I called Kevin. He was a mess. I didn’t know what else to do. So you’re mother brought us here for him- and to wait and see if you returned.”

  “None of us knew when or if the three of you would be coming back,” My mother went on, “We were all frightened.”

  “And the worst part of it was there was nothing we could do about it.”

  I felt horrible, “I’m sorry guys. I never bothered to even consider your feelings.” I looked to my dad, “It’s not like we were allowed to talk at all. You would never answer my calls and when you did call here, you would only talk to Mr. Reese. This wasn’t something I thought about, it was a split-second decision, and one I would do again. I won’t apologize for taking the risk.”

  “We know.”

  “And I’m thinking it’ll probably happen again in your lifetime, Dad. I’m not looking for trouble- it sorta just finds me, you know? Part of that whole Beacon-thing.”

  “I know, and I guess what we’re both trying to say,” my dad continued, “Is we are very proud of you, and glad you are okay. You may be the Beacon, Layla, but you will always be our little girl first.”

  He hugged me again and I just went with it. He seemed to need it just as much as I did. “What about the judgment? I’m not supposed to see you anymore. Won’t there be repercussions?”

  “The judgment has been broken.”

  I looked at my mother for confirmation of her words, “Really? Broken? Like for good?”

  “Yes.”

  I breathed easier, a giant weight lifted from my shoulders. Even though I didn’t want to, I came on my own to Balmorhea, found Orrin, helped restore his birthright, saved Daisy, and broke the judgment against me, all in a couple of months.

  Damn, I’m awesome.

  And tired.

  But I would rest later. “Can I go find Orrin now?”

  “He’s…” my father paused, “With Daisy.”

  Of course.I silently rolled my eyes. That’s right. He still loves her.

  “He’s been spending his time running between the two of you, waiting to see if either of you would…progress.”

  “What do you mean, dad?”

  “Daisy has been touched by evil, Layla,” my mother explained, “Some people do not come back from that. She still needs some time.”

  “What’s wrong with her?” I wondered aloud.

  “She’s not speaking, eating, or responding much. She talks nonsense. She seems lost within herself.”

  Poor Orrin.

  Poor Mr. Reese.

  “For how long?”

  “It’s been three days.” She said.

  Three days?!

  “I’ve been out of it for three days?”

  They both nodded. “We arrived while you were still…away.” Dad continued, “The moment you arrived back on Earth your mother found you and we brought you here. Orrin took Daisy home. I’ve been checking in with Kevin and Orrin daily.”

  “Can you help her?” I asked my mother, “Can you heal her? I felt it when you touch me.”

  She shook her head. “This isn’t something I can heal. Just like you couldn’t heal Ava or Ross- it was beyond your abilities. Daisy is beyond my help right now.”

  “What about me? Can I help?” My hands could heal, “Maybe…”

  “Layla, you can’t fix everything.” My dad explained, “This isn’t for you to fix. It’s something for the Reese’s to work through. Mr. Reese will take care of her. And Heath will help. He has decided to stay here. In Balmorhea. With Daisy…”

  “What?”

  “Layla, try to understand…” My dad called after me.

  I was up and out the room in a second. I looked around the building, finally recognizing it as the motel on
the edge of town. I ran toward the Reese’s home. I had to hear it from him. I had to hear from Orrin that he was staying, that he was choosing her.

  He had his memories as Orrin Darringer, but he had a life as Heath Darringer.

  I had it wrong. Daisy wasn’t the memory I was competing with- I was the memory. I had been holding on so tightly when he was ready to let go, and I had to know if I had lost Orrin for good this time.

  Chapter 26

  A Choice is Made

  I slowed my steps when Ava met me outside the Reese’s home. She met me with the biggest smile, “I was on my way to the motel to see you. I’m so glad you’re okay.” She pulled away from me and started to cry, “Sorry. I’m not really doing well with all of this.”

  “It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in.”

  “I should be used to weird stuff by now. I still see them. I wake up screaming, feeling their hands on me.” She shuddered and rubbed her bandaged arm.

  “I know. I have that same dream. I can’t tell you when it will go way, but it’ll get better. You’re safe now.”

  “I…I don’t think so. Knowing what I know about you, and your mom, and Heath. I don’t think I’ll ever be safe again.”

  My shook my head, “Why do you say that? Graduation is coming up. I’ll be leaving soon. Heath,” That name was like sandpaper in my throat, “knows how to control his birthright again. Everything should be cool again.”

  “You dad thinks I should…” her words died under her breath.

  “What about my dad?”

  “Train.” She repeated, “He thinks I should train with him. He already got permission from somebody, a superior or something. I’m sure I’ll figure it all out soon enough.”

  “Train for what?” I didn’t like where this was leading.

  “To be a Daemonologist. He said we don’t choose this job- it chooses us.”

  “Can you refuse?” I asked incredulously.

  “Apparently it’s not something I can walk away from. I’m not sure I want to.”

  “But you’re not sure you want this either?” I was confused.

  “I don’t know what I want. I’ve always just wanted to be normal. I never wanted any of this.”

  “What about college?” I continued.

  “I’m still going. I think I’ll kind of be like Buffy, you know? Still go to school and learn about daemons , and maybe kill some bad guys along the way.”

  “This isn’t a television show, Ava. This is real.”

  The front door slammed. Heath stood there with Ross, his sad eyes meeting mine, already speaking the words I didn’t want to hear.

  Ross came over to stand directly by Ava. He put his arm around her possessively. She touched his fingers on her shoulder reassuring him she was okay.

  “It’s fine,” she told him, “Gimme a sec, okay?”

  Ross said nothing to me, only smiled at her and kissed her cheek. He walked away as if the past few days hadn’t ever happen.

  “Really?” I asked her incredulously, “Ross?”

  “What can I say?” she laughed, “I like jocks.”

  Ava watched the Heath and I stare at each other from across the yard. “I’ll let you two talk. Call me later, okay?” She said as she went to catch a ride with Ross.

  Like magnets we were pulled to one another, our feet moving of their own accord. I wanted his arms around me, I wanted to lose myself in his kiss, I wanted him to tell me he loved me and that he would choose me just like I had chosen him.

  He kept his arms at his side, so I grabbed him instead. He didn’t fight me. He returned my hug, burying his face in my hair like he had done so many times before. He felt so right. So perfect. I never wanted to let go. Heath had other plans though.

  “I didn’t know when you’d come to. I wanted to be there when you woke.”

  “But you weren’t.”

  He looked hurt, “I knew you’d be okay. I was out like that after my first trip too. It takes a lot out of you. It got easier the more often I went.”

  “Well, that’s not a place I want to visit- ever again!”

  He frowned, “Well, I do have a job to do. It requires the occasional visit.”

  “True.” I agreed, “And from what my parents tell me you have another job.” I gestured to the house. “How is she?”

  Heath’s lips shook, “She’s alive. That’s enough for now. Do you wanna see her?”

  No, I don’t want to see her!

  I wanted to kill her. I wanted to tear her limb from limb, make Heath see that I was the better choice. I needed to see her eliminated from Heath’s life, leave no doubt in his mind that I was his soul mate.

  I wanted his forever.

  I shook my head, quieting my darker side, “Sure. I’ll see her.”

  He let his breath out and smiled. He reached for my hand. I gave it, but it felt hollow. That familiar spark was missing.

  Mr. Reese was leaning against the doorway to Daisy’s room. He turned and smiled when I walked in. He hugged me as well.

  “There are no words, there is nothing that I can do that will ever equal what you have done for Daisy and me. Thank you. Thank you for saving her.”

  I was uncomfortable with the attention, “You’re welcome. I mean, you took me in when I had nowhere to go. You have done so much for me and my father.”

  He smiled, but there was sadness in it, “True. But you will never be out of my prayers. You didn’t just save my daughter, you saved her immortal soul.”

  “Really?” I asked dumbfounded, “I had no idea. So if we hadn’t saved her…”

  “Her soul would have stayed there forever.” Mr. Reese looked back through the doorway, “I don’t know what is in store for Daisy. I have faith in the Lord. She is an instrument of His grace. He will reveal Himself through her in time. Just like you.”

  His words hit me like a punch in the gut. I had never thought of myself like that- an instrument of God. My mother mentioned something to me like that months ago. I had a purpose, a destiny to fulfill, but I guess I never linked it all up like that.

  It was inspiring.

  It was humbling.

  Mr. Reese moved to the side and allowed me to sit with Daisy for a while.

  “Hello,” she said to me. “You were there too?”

  She looked thin. Her skin was sallow, her eyes haunted.

  “I managed to get her to drink some milk, but she is still refusing to eat. She won’t let me wash her hair. She’s scared of the water- screams when I get it anywhere near her.”

  “She was trapped in something like water.” I interrupted. “When I found her she was kind of submerged. It might look or feel the same to her. I don’t know exactly. Everything about that place seemed surreal.”

  “Go talk to her.” Heath nudged me in the room, “It’ll be good for both of you.”

  Daisy was sitting in a wooden chair near the window. Her smile was almost maniacal.

  “Hi, Daisy. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m feeling.” She replied. “I’m feeling. I’m feeling…” She was searching for words, but they wouldn’t come. She rocked back and forth and stared out the window. She had scratches on her arms and she wore a small glittering diamond on the ring finger of her left hand.

  There was also a black mark near the inside of her elbow. It looked like one of the marks Ava used to draw on herself, except this one was distinct. The scrolling lines glittered slightly.

  I touched my neck.

  It looks like mine.

  In a flurry of movement, Daisy launched herself, grabbing my body, my arms, tearing at my clothes and screaming, “She’ll come back! She’s coming back! You’ll bring her back here!” Her nails drew lines of blood on my forearms, but I didn’t push her away. Finally she turned on herself, clawing at her face, “She’s never gone!”

  Heath wrapped her in his arms and spoke softly in her ear. I backed away to the door and let Mr. Reese and Heath see to her.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, but
they didn’t hear me, “I’m sorry.”

  Heath held her tightly against him as she sobbed against him. She held on to him, clinging to the man she loved.

  “She’s gonna take you away from me, Heath. She’s gonna take you away. She always will.”

  He smoothed her hair like he would a child’s and whispered, “No, baby, no. No one will take me anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”

  I watched the two of them together- Heath and Daisy. His eyes were closed, lost in the moment, wishing he could steal the darkness and pain that was clouding her mind.

  It didn’t matter what I called him- Orrin or Heath. I wondered which one he preferred, but I knew the answer already. They were one in the same- a man with the memories of both people. He lived a life as Orrin Darringerforhalf a millennia, but had been given a new life as Heath Darringer. He didn’t have to choose- he couldn’t be one without other anymore.

  But when it came to love, it was obvious he could make a choice.

  I slinked out of the house, letting them be a family, letting them heal. My job here in Balmorhea was done. I needed to leave.

  Anger welled up inside me. I definitely needed to leave. That world-ending prophecy was sounding better and better

  Graduation be damned. My parents be damned. Heath could go back to Hell too. I would never be free of it, why should anyone else either?

  I took off pushing from the ground and headed straight up in the midday sun. I never saw Heath run out of the house. I never heard him call my name. I was too hurt, too raw, too selfish to understand his own pain- the conflict in his own heart.

  When he needed my love and understanding most of all, I wasn’t there for him.

  Chapter 27

  Truth About Love

  I don’t know how she found me.

  She would always find me.

  I wondered if there was any place far enough or any realm dark enough to hide me from my mother’s prying eyes.

  I was pushing farther and flying faster than I ever had before. I imagined I looked like a comet streaking across the afternoon sky. It would probably make some scuzzy Texas tabloid. I didn’t care who saw me, but the feeling of her flying over me only irritated me further. I was hurting and wanted to be alone with my anger.