Wildest Dreams

by Rosanne Bittner

  He pressed his hardness against her thigh. "As long as I can always come home to this, I don't need any other women." His smile faded. "You're all I'll ever need or want, Lettie." He moved a big hand over her breast, kneading it gently. "And don't think I don't realize half the men in this territory would like to be where I am right now."

  She closed her eyes. "None of them could compare to you."

  He met her mouth again, kissing her almost savagely as he pushed himself inside her. She arched her hips to greet him in groaning need, realizing that after all these years, nothing but deep, satisfying, devoted love could keep this act so fresh and delightful and fulfilling. They moved in sweet rhythm, sharing, pleasing, taking pleasure in return. He raised to his elbows and gently rocked himself into her, stirring her so teasingly that she gasped in a second climax. He moved in a hard, fast rhythm then, filling her deep, groaning in his own pleasure until his own release.

  He kissed her hungrily, several times over, pulling her into his arms and settling beside her then, her leg still wrapped over his thigh. "Tomorrow we head back to Helena, then home," he said longingly. "It's almost as if I need to go back to the Double L to get my strength back, Lettie."

  "That's because that land is your strength. Your blood is part of its life. They say the Indian spirit is one with the land, but I don't think it's just the Indians who have that connection. I think it can happen for any man, or woman. I didn't want to come here in the beginning, Luke, but now I never want to leave. I don't need to travel to other places. I just want to go home and see my children and grandchildren."

  "Just a few more days," he answered, kissing her hair.

  Lettie settled into the pillow. Talk of Indians had brought back thoughts of Nathan. "It's been eight years since he left us, Luke. Do you think we'll ever see him again?"

  He didn't need to ask who she was talking about. "I don't know. You can't torture yourself about it."

  "Maybe we should start checking the reservations when things settle down again. Maybe we should try to find him."

  "If that's what you want, that's what we'll do."

  She met his eyes. "Isn't it what you want?"

  He sighed deeply. "Of course I'd like to find him. But he knows where we are, Lettie. If he wants to come home, he will. There's no sense forcing it. Maybe we could find him, but you can't force him to come back, Lettie, and I'm just afraid what it might do to you to see him again and realize he's where he wants to be."

  "I need to know he's all right, if he's even alive."

  He pulled her close. "Then we'll try to find him," he answered. "We'll try."

  CHAPTER 31

  Green pine branches and red bows decorated the outside of the depot at Billings. Lettie breathed a deep sigh of joy at the sight. Home at last! How they had missed Billings, their friends and neighbors, and the Double L.

  "Luke, look at the crowd!"

  He leaned forward to look out the window as their train moved into the station. They had come in from Butte, and apparently everyone in Billings was aware that their new territorial legislative delegate was arriving. In spite of the bitter cold outside, it looked as though half the town was at the depot, and as soon as the Northern Pacific engine chugged to a halt, a band started playing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow."

  "There's Ty and Robbie!" Lettie said excitedly, grasping Luke's hand.

  "Brad and Katie, too. I can't believe they came all the way into town in this cold."

  They watched the little white clouds of breath and red noses that told them winter had already settled hard into Montana again, even though there had not been much snow yet except high in the mountains. Even the train car was cold, in spite of a wood-burning stove in one corner. When they had left Butte, it had still been relatively warm for December; but when they stopped in Virginia City, they could feel the change in the weather. Temperatures had dropped dramatically in the twenty-four hours since they had come east from there.

  "Katie must have left the babies home because of the cold. Oh, I can't wait to see little Paul and Rachael again. I'm so glad we've made it home in time for Christmas, Luke." Lettie turned and kissed his cheek. "And coming home a winner makes it all the better."

  He squeezed her hand. "It's a good feeling. The only trouble with winning is that I'll have to go to Helena for weeks at a time now, but sometimes you'll go with me. I'm glad, though, that I'm not the delegate that has to go to Washington. That would mean being away for months instead of days or weeks. I don't think I could bear being away from the Double L that long. I miss home, Lettie."

  She studied his blue eyes, glad he didn't have to go back to Helena until spring. It had been a hard campaign, not just physically but emotionally. In the spring he would help draft the petition that would be carried to Washington and presented to Congress for Montana to be allowed into the United States. They knew it wouldn't happen overnight, but they were most certainly on their way.

  They got up and moved to the steps of the passenger car, and as soon as she descended, Lettie was in Katie's arms and there came a round of hugs from her daughter and son-in-law, then Tyler and Robbie. She saw a rather troubled look in Tyler's eyes, able to read him as well as she could read Luke. Something was wrong, and she prayed there had not been new losses at the Double L. She wanted so much for this to be a merry Christmas and happy homecoming.

  Luke took his turn at hugging, then began shaking hands and accepting congratulations from townspeople and area businessmen. The band struck up another tune, and the crowd followed them to the family's enclosed carriage. Joe Parker was there, telling Luke to be sure to come to the next cattlemen's meeting in two weeks. Some of the women were peppering Lettie with questions about what Helena and Butte and Virginia City were like, and at the same time Robbie was excitedly telling her they had gotten a letter from Pearl. "She heard about Pa winning clear back in Chicago!" he told her.

  Everything was confusion and commotion, but Tyler remained rather quiet. It seemed everyone in town wanted them to come for dinner, and Lettie turned down invitation after invitation. "We just want to stay home for a while," she explained. "We've missed the ranch and the children so much." Tyler helped Sven with the luggage, and the family climbed into the waiting carriage. Luke started inside, then hesitated, looking to his right. The crowd quieted, and Lettie leaned out to look.

  "Oh, my! It's Nial Bentley," she said quietly. All the children clambered back outside, and Lettie herself slowly emerged as people backed away. Nial was walking toward Luke, wearing a forced smile. Lettie realized that everyone in town surely knew about the ugly article about Luke, and who had surely been behind it. She knew that what had bothered Luke the most was the question of his heritage. He had never had to come right out and tell anyone his own father had considered him a bastard, but she knew that the whole matter had brought back the old pain for Luke, the realization that to this day he had never heard from his father, in spite of his many letters. No one needed to know that. It was such a personal pain for Luke, and Nial Bentley had almost caused him to share it publicly.

  Nial was dressed in his usual finery, top hat and all. "Luke!" he said, putting out his hand. "I just came to congratulate you. I am the humble loser, but must admit that I have every confidence Montana is in good hands." He glanced at Lettie, as though to hint that as long as Luke had her for a wife, he could manage his new duties because he would have her to help him. He looked back at Luke, who was not smiling. "Well, my friend, I am humbly offering my best wishes. Aren't you going to shake my hand and show these people how gracious you can be? After all, in politics, anything goes. Now it's over."

  Before Nial realized what was coming, Luke landed a big fist into his left cheek, sending the man sprawling. A gasp went up from the crowd, and a faint smile moved across Luke's lips.

  "Wow, Pa, that was some punch!" Robbie spoke up.

  Lettie could not help a vague smile of her own.

  Luke looked around at the others. "Folks, you have just
seen my last fit of vigilante justice!"

  A roar of laughter went up from the crowd, and two men dragged a mumbling Nial away. Men slapped Luke on the back, some saying he should have given Nial Bentley what for a long time ago. Lettie and the children got back into the carriage and Luke finally climbed in beside them, glad Sven had brought the enclosed buggy, even though it was smaller than their open four-seater. Everyone sitting close inside helped stave off the bitter cold outside. Lettie shivered and snuggled next to Luke, Katie on the other side of her. Across from them sat Robbie, Tyler, and Brad.

  "That was great, Pa," Tyler told him. "If you hadn't hit him, I think I would have."

  Luke looked down at sore knuckles. "Well, we aren't supposed to punch our way through life anymore, but I couldn't let that one go."

  "I've always hated Nial," Ty answered, glancing at his mother. "We all saw that article, saw the one you answered back with, Mom. We were all really proud when we read it."

  Lettie grasped Luke's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Are you all right?"

  He flexed the hand. "Never felt better."

  Sven, in the driver's seat outside, and bundled against the cold, whipped the two sturdy Double L horses hitched to the buggy into motion.

  "How are things at the ranch?" Luke asked Ty.

  Again Lettie noticed a strange expression on her son's face. "Good, Pa. No problems. Got a lot of pregnant mares, and as far as we can tell, we've got a lot of calves coming next spring, too. Most of the herd is in close, but with all the cattle you've got on order, it won't be possible next year to get them all in for the winter. I'll bet at least half the cows are carrying. We'll be up to a good fifty thousand head by next summer."

  "Well, we have a signed contract with that buyer out of Chicago saying he'll take all we can send, so we can't lose. We just have to hope no catastrophe wipes them out." He grinned. "You're doing a hell of a job, Ty. It's good to know I can count on you when I have to be gone."

  Tyler smiled, but he looked away, as though afraid to let them see the look in his eyes.

  "Little Paul can't wait to see his grandma," Katie said, as though she felt she had to change the subject. "I left Rachael and him at the main house so they'd be there when you get home instead of having to go all the way to the KT to get them." KT was the name and the brand for Brad's sheep ranch, the initials for Katie Tillis. Brad had worked hard helping build their home and restore the burned ranch that had once belonged to Hank Kline.

  Katie grasped her mother's hand. "Mama, I'm going to have another baby, around June, I think."

  "Oh, Katie, that's wonderful!"

  Luke glanced at Brad. "Looks like you two have stayed pretty busy," he teased.

  Brad blushed and grinned. "You apparently stayed pretty busy yourself those first few years, Luke," he bantered.

  They all laughed then, and it was Lettie's turn to blush. The remark made her anxious to get home to their own bed again. It had been a long time since they had slept there. She was tired of hotel rooms or being the guest in someone else's home.

  "How are your school lessons coming, Robbie?" Luke asked.

  "Elsie says I'm too smart for her now. She sent for more special medical books and for information about the entrance exam from the University of Michigan. She says when I turn seventeen I should be able to get in."

  "Oh, I don't think I'm ready to send another child away," Lettie said, reaching over and patting his knee. "With Katie over at her own home most of the time, we'll only have our Tyler left with us." She glanced at Ty. "Thank goodness you want to stay on at the ranch," she added. "I don't know what I'd do if all my children left me."

  Ty did not smile, and there followed an uncomfortable moment of silence. Lettie wasn't sure if she had said something wrong. She looked back at Robbie. "Did you say you heard from Pearl?"

  "Yes. The letter's at home. She's doing real well, Mom. She said the professor says she's his most promising student in years. She sounds real happy."

  Lettie breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good. Oh, I miss her so. It will seem so strange not having her here this year to play Christmas carols for us. I'm beginning to wonder when we'll ever have the whole family together at the same time again."

  Ty turned to look out a window, and the others looked at each other as though to share some secret thought.

  Luke frowned. "All right, all of you, what is wrong? You're leaving something out. You don't need to wait until we get home. Has something happened we don't know about?"

  Tyler faced his father, then moved his gaze to his mother, taking a deep breath. "Nathan's back."

  Lettie drew in her breath, feeling as though her heart had surely stopped beating.

  "Nathan!" Luke exclaimed. "When? Why?"

  "That's what I'd like to know," Tyler said with a hint of bitterness. "If he thinks he can just walk in after all these years and get a big piece of the pie, I don't think it's fair! I've worked hard right along side you all these years. I know how to run the Double L. I don't need him coming here and taking what's mine."

  "Ty!" Lettie could hardly believe her ears. "What makes you think he could take your place, or that he would get more than his fair share? What makes you think he even wants anything from us?"

  "Why else would he be here? When I ask him about it, he just says he'll talk to you and Pa, not to me." Tyler looked at his father. "You adopted him. He's been gone all these years, but he's still the firstborn son. By law he has every right to as much of the Double L as you want to give him, and I think it's damned unfair! He—"

  "Now, just a minute, Ty!" Luke interrupted. "We haven't even had a chance to talk to him to find out why he's here. And give me a little credit for being a fair man. You know better than to think I'd favor one child over another, for any reason. How long has he been back?"

  "Just a few days," Robbie spoke up. "He's been real quiet—stays in that little cabin Tex used to live in. He's hardly talked to anybody—just says he'll wait and talk to you and Mom. Nobody in town even knows it yet. We thought maybe we should wait till you came home to see what he wants. Maybe he won't even stay."

  Lettie could not help feeling a wave of the old agony of remembering when Nathan was first torn from her arms, and how it felt when he ran away from them after they had finally found him again. How could she bear seeing him and then losing him yet again? Surely he was back to stay this time. Why else would he have come? But why? Why now? "You said... you talked to him. He speaks English now?"

  Ty scowled. "Yeah, pretty well. He even dresses mostly like a white man, but his hair is still long, and he wears moccasins."

  "We gave him food and some wood for the heating stove," Brad told her. "He seemed real grateful."

  Lettie could not help the tears that spilled out of her eyes. She grasped Luke's hand. "He's twenty-two years old now," she said absently. Eighteen years it had been since her son was first taken from her. How could that be? Why was he here? She wiped at her eyes, glanced at Ty. "One day, when you have your own children, Ty, you will understand how I feel about this. You're all special, for so many different reasons." She looked at Robbie, Katie, back to Tyler. "You have been a loyal, hard-working, devoted son. Surely you don't think your father and I could forget that. The way Nathan was raised, I highly doubt he has much interest in the ranch. There must be some other reason he is here. Give him a chance, Ty. My being able to keep my son with me this time could depend in part on how all of you treat him. This could be the most important thing I have ever asked of any of you." She looked around at all of them again. "No matter how you feel about him now, he's still your brother. You all share the same blood through me, and no matter where Nathan has been these last years, he is still my son." She squeezed Luke's hand. "Our son. A MacBride by blood, a Fontaine by adoption, and because your father has the ability to love him just because he loves me. If he can love Nathan with no blood connection at all, surely all of you can learn to love him." She closed her eyes. "Thank God we came back when we did
. He might have left again without our ever getting to see him."

  "Lettie, don't get your hopes up," Luke warned. "You know what happened last time. Maybe there is just something he needs and he'll want to leave again."

  Probably wants some money, Tyler thought. For his mother's sake, he would keep his opinion to himself, but he could not help believing Nathan was here for only one reason.

  "Not this time," Lettie was saying. "I feel it in my heart. Nathan is here to stay."

  Tyler, Robbie, Katie, and Brad all sat quietly in the parlor, watching their mother pace nervously. Luke had gone to get Nathan, and Tyler thought about how Nathan must surely be overwhelmed by the elegance of the Fontaine home, Oriental rugs, expensive vases and statues, silk-covered chairs and rich oak and mahogany furniture. He and Katie and Robbie had put up a huge Christmas tree near the window, knowing their mother liked the biggest tree they could find, wanting to surprise her with it when she and Luke got home. Did Nathan even understand what the tree was for? What did he know about their family and how they lived?

  He didn't like feeling this anger, but he couldn't help it. After so many years of being the oldest brother and doing everything he could to show his father he was fit to take over the ranch he loved so much, it just didn't seem right having an older brother come along who had decided long ago he wanted nothing to do with this family. The first time he came back, he had been forced. This time he had come on his own. That could only mean he wanted to make the Double L his home, which was like making it home to an Indian, after all the heartache the Sioux had caused his parents. None of it seemed fair.

  He looked up when he heard the outer door open and close, heard Luke and Nathan stomp their feet to get off the snow. He watched his mother, who stared at the parlor door as though a ghost was about to enter. The epitome of a mother's love shone in her eyes when Nathan stepped inside the room, and Tyler hated him. Nathan stared back at her silently.