Doctor January

by Rhoda Baxter

  She winked at him and gathered up the glasses.

  Beth was watching him, her eyes going from him to the barmaid and back again.

  ‘Ooh, Hibs, you didn’t,’ she said.

  ‘Come on. We’ll be late for the bus. Then we’ll have to find him a taxi.’ Hibs ushered the pair of them out like they were little children. Beth veered off to the left but he caught her hand and set her trajectory for the door.

  ‘Yes, Mother,’ said Vik, making himself and Beth giggle all over again.

  The fresh air was a shock. All three stopped and stood blinking for a moment before Hibs got them moving again.

  ‘D’you know,’ said Beth as they walked down to Vik’s bus stop. ‘You’re right.’

  ‘About what?’ Her hand was still in his but she didn’t seem to notice. Hibs gave her hand a squeeze to see if she’d respond. Nothing. She was just using him to keep herself upright. He suppressed a sigh and reminded himself he was being a supportive friend. Literally.

  ‘About the alcohol. It doesn’t hurt so much any more.’ She pressed her free hand to her sternum. ‘Here. It normally hurts here.’

  Hibs looked at her, suddenly sober. He hated that Gordon had this hold on her. Why would someone who was normally so cheerful and confident let herself be treated like a possession?

  He wished he could do something. He wanted more than anything in the world to help her, but he didn’t know how. Sometimes he thought it would be easier if Gordon had actually hit her. At least then she could see him for the bully he was. At least then Hibs would have an excuse to go for him. But Gordon was sly in his bullying. He always provided ways for Beth to excuse him. Bastard.

  ‘Bus!’ said Vik. He started to run, not quite in a straight line, towards the bus stop. The bus pulled up and opened its doors to the waiting queue.

  ‘Come on,’ said Hibs. Still holding Beth’s hand, he started to run.

  Vik reached the bus just in time.

  As they stood there waving, Beth slowly leaned against Hibs, closer and closer until he had to let go of her hand and get her around the waist.

  ‘I’m shoo drunk,’ she murmured into his collar.

  Hibs fought the urge to put both his arms around her and cradle her. If he kissed her now, he guessed she’d let him, but that was wrong. He hadn’t got her drunk to take advantage. He’d hoped that breaking her out of her normal routine would shake her into realising that Gordon wasn’t the be all and end all of things. There were other men out there. She was too good for him.

  ‘Let’s go get you a coffee,’ said Hibs. ‘And a glass of water.’

  Beth shook her head. ‘Take me home, Hibs. Please.’ She looked up. To his horror, there were tears in her eyes. As he watched, one loosened itself and meandered down her cheek.

  ‘Oh Beth. He’s not worth it, you know. Really. He’s not.’ He reached out and wiped the tear away with his thumb. ‘He’s not going to call you. He left. You’re going to have to learn to accept that.’

  ‘I know. I know. You’re right. I’m so stupid.’

  ‘You’re not stupid. You’re just …’ What? Misguided? Naive? Trusting? Gorgeous. He shook his head to get rid of the thought. Focus, Hibbotson, focus. ‘You just fell for the wrong guy.’ Arse. Where did that come from? He must have been watching too much late night TV. ‘You’re a nice person. You expect other people to be nice and play fair. Some of them don’t.’ They started walking, Beth leaning heavily against his arm. Her footsteps were erratic so he used his arm around her waist to straighten her up and tried not to think about the warm press of her hips against his.

  ‘I’m a doofus.’

  ‘No you’re not. You just made a mistake. You need to get over it and move on. Now you know, you won’t make that mistake again.’

  Beth blinked. ‘You’re really clever,’ she said. ‘You’re like that guy with the hat and the beard.’

  ‘Terry Pratchett?’

  ‘No, silly. The other one. Gandalf.’

  Hibs stopped. Beth nearly fell over. ‘Gandalf?!’ He was only a few years older than her! ‘I’m only twenty-nine.’

  Beth giggled. ‘I mean wise like Gandalf. Not all beardy like him.’

  ‘Well that’s a relief. Wise, I can deal with.’ They started walking again. He was glad he had made her laugh. At least she had snapped out of her morose mood. Beth giggled again and laid her head briefly on his shoulder as they walked and Hibs felt happier still.

  When they got to Beth’s apartment block, they took the lift. Beth leaned her head against Hibs again and by the time they got to the right floor, she was asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. As the lift doors slid open, Hibs sighed and picked her up. Her head lolled back. Well, if he had been trying to get her drunk and have his wicked way with her, he would have done a lousy job.

  He got to the door and realised that he would have to look through Beth’s pockets to find her keys. Carrying her home was one thing. Rooting through her pockets was tantamount to sexual harassment. Hibs sighed. With some effort he hitched her up a bit, redistributing her weight so that he could reach the doorbell. As she settled back into his arms, she started to snore quietly.

  The door opened and Beth’s flatmate, the cute one from the pub earlier, stood there. What was her name? He quickly ran through past conversations. Ah yes. ‘Hi, Anna. I’ve … er … brought Beth home.’

  Anna looked down at the sleeping Beth and opened the door wider. ‘Come in. Is she okay?’

  ‘She’s fine. Just a bit drunk.’

  ‘A bit?’ said Anna. ‘What did you do to her?’

  ‘Whisky.’ He moved carefully round the coats, taking care not to bang Beth’s head or feet on the wall. ‘Shall I put her on her bed?’

  ‘Sure. It’s the second room.’

  Hibs already knew his way around Beth’s flat – he’d been round before. The last time had been her old flatmate’s leaving party. He took Beth into her room and laid her gently on the bed. Kneeling on the floor, he slipped her shoes off, and then sat back on his heels to look at her. She looked so very peaceful.

  He leaned towards her. She smelled of alcohol and, more faintly, of that perfume she wore that reminded him of moss and woodland. Her hair was tousled and falling over her face. He moved it off her cheek with a forefinger. When had he fallen in love with her? He didn’t know. It had happened so slowly, that creeping attraction. Until one day he looked at her and felt his heartbeat in his ears.

  But she was his friend now. And she was still in love with Gordon. Even if she weren’t a friend and colleague, she had no interest in him, whatsoever. He sighed and stood up. Turning, he found Anna in the doorway.

  ‘She okay?’ She nodded towards Beth, who curled up into a ball with a sigh.

  ‘She’ll have a hangover in the morning.’ He left the room, shutting the door softly behind him. ‘You might want to put a glass of water by her bed.’

  Anna followed him. ‘Can I get you a coffee or anything?’

  Hibs hesitated. Anna was wearing cotton pyjamas and a little top with spaghetti straps. He could see the piercing in her navel. She’d had plenty of time to go and get a jumper, if she’d wanted to. She folded her arms over her breasts and smiled at him. Interesting.

  ‘Actually, a glass of water would be great.’ He leaned on the countertop. There was a stack of birthday cards, opened and carelessly discarded. ‘We were celebrating Beth finally admitting that things were over with Gordon.’

  ‘Oh yeah. Gordon the golden ex.’ Anna handed him the glass and leaned on the counter next to him. ‘I’ve heard a lot about him.’ She was standing very close. Too close, he noted with amusement. ‘So what prompted her to finally accept it?’

  ‘He didn’t send her a birthday card.’

  Anna made a tutting sound. ‘Tit.’

  Hi
bs’s eyes automatically flicked to her chest. When his brain caught up with him, he looked back up to see she was smiling.

  ‘You did that on purpose,’ he said.

  Anna raised an eyebrow. ‘And?’

  Hibs stared at her for a moment, seriously tempted. But that would annoy Beth … and it would be really awkward tomorrow. Besides, his head was starting feel like it was stuffed with lead. He needed to go home, drink a huge amount of water and go to bed, or he wouldn’t be able to function in the morning.

  ‘I should go,’ he said. His eyes didn’t leave her face. ‘It was nice to see you again, Anna.’

  ‘Likewise.’ She moved away. ‘I’m sure I’ll see you again, soon.’

  Chapter Three

  Beth woke up in a foul mood. Her head was full of thunder and the taste in her mouth was unspeakable. She rolled out of bed. What had she done last night? Someone had thoughtfully left a glass of water by the bed. She took a couple of sips before sinking down on the floor with her head in her hands. There was an insistent keening in her head. Dear god, what was that? It took her a while to realise it was her alarm clock. Groaning, she turned it off. It was definitely morning. Maybe a shower would make her feel more human.

  A shower, clean clothes and clean teeth made her feel a bit better, but not much. She walked gingerly to the kitchen, where Anna was eating cornflakes and reading a book. She looked up as Beth approached. ‘Hey. How’re you feeling this morning?’

  Beth made it to a chair. ‘Awful.’

  Anna grinned and poured her a coffee. ‘Here you go.’ She slid it across to Beth’s hand. ‘He said you were drinking whisky. I’m not surprised you’ve got a hangover.’

  ‘He? Who was that?’ She tried to remember, but couldn’t place anything beyond being in the pub with Hibs and Vik.

  ‘That gorgeous bloke from your lab.’

  ‘What gorgeous bloke?’ Had she managed to pick up a gorgeous bloke and not remember it? If so, where was he now? She felt an irrational stab of guilt.

  ‘With the long hair.’

  ‘Hibs?’ Beth peered at Anna. There were many words she could think of to describe Hibs – kind, thoughtful, dependable, irritating, bossy, but not gorgeous. ‘He’s not gorgeous. He’s just … Hibs.’

  Anna laughed. ‘You’ve been hanging out with him too long. You’ve stopped looking.’ She paused, her spoon poised above her cornflakes. ‘Have you seen the way he moves … and those beautiful long fingers …’

  ‘He’s got stupid long hair.’

  ‘He seems to look after it though. It’s all glossy and thick.’

  Beth considered it. ‘I suppose.’ She didn’t particularly like long hair. She preferred her men to have buzz cuts and muscles in the right places. Like Gordon.

  ‘I’d love to get my hands on that,’ said Anna, still staring into space. ‘And on that body.’

  Beth tried to think of what Hibs’s body was like, but couldn’t really bring to mind much beyond a lab coat. ‘What? Hibs?’

  Anna stared at her. ‘What? You haven’t noticed? He hasn’t got an ounce of fat on him. He’s all toned and … yummy.’

  Beth sighed. Hibs had this effect on women. She wasn’t sure how he achieved it. It was probably some mesmerising technique he’d learned with his martial arts or something. ‘He’s not really boyfriend material, you know,’ she said.

  Anna looked surprised. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘His idea of a long-term relationship is, like, two weeks.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘What do you mean “So”?’ She was clearly missing part of the conversation. It was probably drowned out by the pounding in her head. ‘He’s this massive commitment-phobe.’

  ‘That’s only a problem if you’re after more than just sex,’ said Anna. ‘Besides, people change.’

  ‘Not Hibs.’

  There was the sound of post landing on the mat and Anna went to fetch it. Beth looked up, a tiny spark of hope flaring in her queasy stomach.

  ‘Is there anything—’

  ‘From America? No.’ Anna pulled a face. ‘I’m sorry, Beth.’

  So, definitely nothing from Gordon then. Beth swallowed another sip of coffee and felt the hot liquid rebel and come back the other way.

  ‘Beth?’

  Beth stood up and lurched towards the bathroom. ‘Going to be sick.’

  It was nearly lunchtime before she made it into the lab. Her head still hurt and her vision seemed to be lagging behind real events by a few seconds. Her stomach had settled down now and her nausea was replaced by anger. Anger at Gordon for being such a bastard. Anger at Hibs for being right. Anger at herself for caring.

  It was Hibs’s comment about photography that really got to her. There was a time when she had really enjoyed photographing people. But Gordon had frowned on the idea. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly that he disapproved of, but she had sensed his annoyance. At first she’d just stopped telling him about the photos she’d taken. Then, as she spent more and more time in his arms, she’d stopped entirely. Almost without her noticing, her favourite hobby had simply faded out of her life.

  Perhaps she should take it up again, see if the buzz was still the same. There were those vouchers the boys had given her – she could use that and the cheque from her parents to get some supplies. It would make a change from taking pictures of bacteria.

  She slammed her way into the office and stomped to her bench. There was a Post-it note saying, ‘I’ve set up cultures for you to do your experiment tomorrow. Hibs.’ She scrunched it up. She had lost the morning. The only way she could catch up was to work through until late.

  ‘Afternoon,’ said Hibs.

  She turned, slowly, so that she didn’t overbalance. ‘What?’

  ‘Good afternoon, Hibs. Thanks for getting me home and putting me to bed last night, Hibs,’ he prompted.

  ‘Did you?’

  ‘What, take you home? Of course I did, you ninny. You fell asleep on me.’

  Beth frowned. ‘Did I?’ She couldn’t remember anything. She hoped she hadn’t embarrassed herself. At least she had been fully dressed when she’d woken up, so she hadn’t done something truly idiotic like succumb to Hibs’s seduction voodoo.

  Hibs came over and stood next to her. The bay was narrow, so they were only inches apart. He looked so utterly like his normal self that she relaxed a little. He peered at her. ‘You look like crap.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Go home, Beth. You’re probably still drunk.’

  She shook her head, but then wished she hadn’t. She put her hands up to her head to stop it reverberating.

  Hibs put a hand on her shoulder. It felt like a ton of lead. ‘I’ll cover for you with Roger. Vik didn’t make it in either, so it’s not just you.’

  Beth ignored him. ‘My flatmate fancies you,’ she said, accusingly.

  Hibs grinned. ‘I know.’

  ‘You’re not going to do anything about it, are you?’

  ‘Do you want me to?’

  ‘No. Definitely not. She’s my housemate. She’s new to town. Have mercy.’

  ‘Mercy,’ said Hibs, ‘is definitely not what she wants.’

  ‘You know what I mean. It would be weird. I don’t want to see you wandering around in your pants while I’m having my breakfast.’ The very idea made her feel light-headed. Clearly, her hangover was worse than she’d thought.

  Hibs laughed. ‘I don’t do that.’ He took her elbow. ‘Now go home and sleep it off.’

  She shrugged him off and stalked to her bench. She tried to pick out a pair of gloves and managed to knock a box of pipette tips on the floor. Yellow plastic tubes sprayed everywhere. She stared at the mess for a moment before kneeling on the floor and trying to gather the tips and slot them back into the holes on the b
ox.

  ‘You can’t use those now: they’re covered in crap,’ said Hibs. ‘Just bin them.’ He started to scoop them up. ‘And, Beth. Go. Home.’

  Beth stood up. ‘Okay, okay.’ She set off towards the door. As she paused to wash her hands, she looked over her shoulder. ‘Hibs?’

  ‘Yes?’ He was standing by the bin, wearing his white lab coat. He had blue latex gloves on and a pair of safety goggles on his head. His hair was tucked into the collar of the lab coat to keep it from getting any chemicals on it. This was what she thought of when she thought of Hibs. Not the sex god creature that Anna had described.

  ‘You were right. About Gordon. I need to get over it.’

  Hibs smiled. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’

  ‘I’m going to move on with my life,’ she said. ‘Move on to new things.’

  The smile moved off his face. He nodded. ‘Good. I’ll look forward to it.’

  As she left, she couldn’t help wondering what he meant.

  Chapter Four

  A couple of days later Beth dragged Anna to a Women in Science meeting. When she’d first joined, the WIS had been a fun and interesting group. But lately, the more interesting people had stopped coming and had left a group of women who spent ninety per cent of their time moaning about how it was hard being a woman and the other ten per cent talking about science. The only person she actually enjoyed seeing was her friend Lara.

  Beth had started going to these meetings before she met Gordon. Gordon disapproved of the WIS, but she’d carried on going, mainly because it was a chance to catch up with Lara.

  The meeting was in the staff club, which had collections of tables and chairs in the bar area. In the evening, when it was full, it felt like a pub. During the day it felt oddly lifeless, like it was trying too hard to have fun. Having got drinks for herself and Anna, Beth looked around, spotted Lara sitting at a table at the far end, and waved.

  Lara was wearing jeans and a shirt, but everything was so well ironed that it looked smart on her. Even her neat, sensible bob looked like it had been ironed into place. ‘I saved you a seat,’ she said, as she gathered up the handbag and coat that she’d placed on the chairs around her.