Doctor January

by Rhoda Baxter

  Beth introduced Lara to Anna. ‘Lara and I met at the first WIS meeting I came to.’

  ‘So, what happens exactly?’ Anna said, looking around.

  Beth shrugged. ‘We talk. People have a bitch about life.’

  ‘But what do you do. What’s the point of meeting?’

  Beth looked at Lara, who shrugged.

  ‘I just come to catch up with Lara.’ Beth took a sip of her drink. ‘And to annoy Roger, my supervisor. He thinks it’s a stupid group, but feels he can’t really stop me going.’

  ‘Well he sounds like a real charmer,’ said Anna.

  ‘He’s okay really. Just a bit anti-women at the moment. His wife used to be a postdoc in the lab. She ran off with a senior lecturer from the floor above. He’s been a bit weird ever since.’

  ‘That’s no excuse. Just because his wife ran off with someone doesn’t mean he gets to be mean to all women,’ said Anna.

  Lara rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve been telling her this. Roger has a duty of care towards his students.’

  ‘Oh come on, guys, he’s not that bad. I feel a bit sorry for him, really.’

  Before Anna could answer, a stocky woman with a mane of black hair and too much jewellery came and joined them. Beth smiled. ‘Hi, Clarissa.’

  ‘Beth, isn’t it?’ Clarissa was the president of the society. She looked Anna up and down. There was a small pause as she looked from Anna to Beth and back again. ‘I’m Clarissa,’ she said to Anna. ‘Who are you?’

  ‘I’m Dr Anna Lightcliffe. I’ve just started working in the Archaeology department.’

  Clarissa nodded, making her necklaces rattle. ‘Welcome on board, Anna.’ She turned to Lara. ‘Madam treasurer, would you collect the subs, please? We’re about to start.’

  Once Lara had collected the money, Clarissa called the meeting to order. There were the usual boring announcements and discussion of issues.

  While Clarissa droned on, being self-important, Beth thought about her plans to buy new photography equipment. She was surprised to find that the decision to take her hobby up again seemed to have kicked a switch in her brain. She was already looking at the world differently, framing it in her mind. It seemed to make everything seem that much more beautiful.

  Clarissa moved onto another topic and Beth tried to focus on what she was saying. ‘There’s a drive on to attract more young women into science,’ she read off the paper in her hand. ‘We should get involved with this. Anyone got any suggestions?’

  Her mind still full of photography, Beth looked around the room. The light filtering into the room fell on the women, all clever, all hard-working, but all so very different. What would these women be attracted to? Other than science itself? Could they do a photo montage of something? Or … ‘How about a calendar?’ she said.

  ‘A calendar,’ said Clarissa. ‘Of great women scientists?’

  Anna pulled a face. Beth said, ‘No.’ Her mind raced and she had a sudden image of something Hibs and Vik had said about eye candy. ‘No, of the most attractive male scientists we can find. We could do a local one. We must have twelve attractive men working here at the university.’ She could take the photos. It would be a nice project to get her teeth into. She felt a rising sense of excitement at the idea. She loved photography. How had she let Gordon talk her out of it?

  ‘Like the Studmuffins of Science calendar in the nineties,’ Lara piped up. ‘I like the idea.’

  There was a smattering of laughter.

  Clarissa stared at her, the corners of her mouth pinched with annoyance. ‘That’s a ridiculous idea.’ She turned away.

  Something stirred in Beth’s mind. Clarissa was dismissing her, just like Roger did. How dare she? Ordinarily, Beth would have let it slide, but today, with determination still burning, she wasn’t going to put up with that.

  ‘Hang on a minute,’ she said, loud enough to make Clarissa half turn to look at her. ‘Why is it a ridiculous idea?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Why ridiculous? It’s been done before, with great success. If you’re trying to advertise science to teenaged girls, pictures of hunky men can’t hurt.’

  ‘Well …’ Clarissa blustered. ‘It’s demeaning.’

  ‘To whom?’ She was on a roll now. ‘The guys? We’d be celebrating them as clever and attractive. What’s demeaning about that?’

  ‘But they’d be naked.’

  ‘Woah, will they?’ Anna asked, suddenly attentive.

  ‘Who said anything about naked?’ said Beth.

  ‘But you …’

  ‘I didn’t say anything about naked.’ Beth was enjoying herself. She should do this more often. ‘I just said calendar.’

  ‘That’s right,’ said Lara. ‘I think the nudity is in your imagination, Clarissa.’

  Clarissa scowled. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Now you’re being silly.’

  ‘Well, shall we put it to a vote?’ said Beth. She glanced around the room. Most people seemed to be trying hard not to laugh. She wondered if everyone found Clarissa annoying. Would they be annoyed enough with Clarissa to vote in her suggestion? Clarissa pressed her lips together for a moment. ‘Fine,’ she snapped. ‘All those in favour?’

  Beth’s hand shot up. So did Anna’s. Lara joined them. There was a hush as people avoided eye contact.

  ‘Okay,’ said Clarissa with relish.

  Someone cleared their throat and raised their hand. One by one a few more hands went up.

  Anna counted. ‘I make that ten to six in favour of Beth’s calendar.’

  Result! She was good at portraits. Even though Gordon had told her she’d do better with still life. She really, really hoped she still had the eye for it.

  Clarissa looked like she was going to explode. ‘There’s no budget,’ she said.

  ‘Oh, it wouldn’t take much,’ said Lara. ‘I can sort out the layouts. Beth can do the photos. Can’t you, Beth?’

  Beth nodded. ‘For free,’ she added.

  ‘Are you any good?’ said Clarissa.

  ‘She’s good enough,’ said Anna. ‘I’ll help you do the interviews and things. I’ve got a good eye for a fit bloke.’ Again, more laughter.

  ‘We need a print budget.’ Beth looked at Lara.

  ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ said Lara. ‘It won’t be huge, but should be enough.’

  When Beth told Hibs about the project, he laughed out loud. ‘That’s brilliant. I didn’t know you had it in you.’

  ‘Neither did I.’ They were sitting in the tea room, with the leftovers from Beth’s birthday cake between them. The feeling of triumph she’d had was starting to dissipate, and she was beginning to doubt herself. ‘I didn’t think anyone would vote for the idea.’

  ‘I guess you underestimated your own brilliance,’ Hibs said as he took a slice of cake.

  ‘I underestimated how much everyone hates Clarissa, more like.’ Beth found a piece of cake which was smaller than the others and picked it up. ‘Or me.’

  ‘I thought you liked taking photos of people.’ Vik peered into the cake box. ‘Is there anything with icing left on it?’

  ‘Hibs had all the corner bits.’

  Vik sighed and helped himself to a largish slice.

  ‘He’s got a point,’ said Hibs. ‘I’ve seen those portrait shots you did of your mum. They’re really good.’

  ‘I got lucky with the light that day,’ said Beth. ‘Anyway, I’m out of practise. I’m not sure I can manage the quality they need.’ Then there was the fact that she didn’t actually know any of the men that she would be photographing. She would have to get them to pose. It would be a completely different experience to taking candid photos of friends and family.

  ‘You don’t know until you try. What are you afraid of, Tyler?’ said Hibs.

  ‘N
othing. I’m just … not sure I want to take photos of complete strangers.’

  ‘They wouldn’t be strangers if you’ve interviewed them first,’ Vik pointed out.

  ‘Anna’s interviewing them.’

  Hibs laughed again. ‘Is she helping you shortlist as well, by any chance?’ When Beth nodded, he said, ‘She’s a force to reckoned with, that girl. I like it.’

  ‘She said it was a good excuse to filter through photos of fit men without having to pay a subscription. She’s shameless.’

  ‘She sounds like she’d be your sort of girl, Hibs,’ said Vik.

  Hibs said nothing.

  ‘I’ve been out spending my birthday money,’ said Beth, when she got back to the lab.

  ‘Excellent, what did you get?’ Hibs was at his bench, pipetting out solutions from a Qiagen kit.

  ‘New camera stuff.’ She extracted the lens from its box and put it on the camera. ‘I’ve got a zoom now.’

  ‘Is that an old-fashioned camera?’ Vik looked at it.

  ‘Digital SLR.’ She lifted it up and showed him. ‘It lets me do some of the stuff you can do with an SLR camera, but with digital storage. Best of both worlds.’ She held it up to frame Hibs and took a photo. ‘Say cheese.’

  ‘Sod off,’ said Hibs.

  ‘Oh, go on. Let’s have a shot of the Man at Work in the lab.’ She looked at Vik. ‘Go on, you too.’

  Hibs pretended to ignore her and get on with his work, while Vik stood behind him grinning and making thumbs up signs. Beth took a few photos.

  ‘Oh, come on, Hibs. Would it kill you to smile?’

  He gave her a pinched grimace. ‘I’m working.’

  ‘Uh huh.’

  He rolled his eyes and carried on with his work. She could tell from the way his mouth kept twitching that he was trying hard not to smile. She moved in closer and took another photo.

  ‘How about this?’ said Vik, sitting on a stool and striking the Thinker pose.

  ‘Nice.’ She took a shot of him too.

  Vik struck another pose, pointing into the distance like a catalogue model. ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘Could I be in your calendar?’

  ‘Oh, honey, I’m sorry. You need a PhD.’

  ‘Ah.’ Vik shrugged. ‘Maybe in a couple of years then.’

  ‘Now Hibs on the other hand …’ Beth pointed the camera back at him and took a few more.

  He gave her an amused smile and half turned away. Suddenly, his smile faded and he looked directly at her. ‘You’d better not try to put me in your calendar.’

  ‘Why not?’ She was still taking photos – it was fun winding Hibs up.

  ‘Because I don’t want to be in a calendar. It’s … cheesy.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She took another shot. She would have been offended if the comment had come from anybody else, but Hibs was always supportive of her. From him, she could take a joke.

  ‘You know what I mean.’ He returned to his work, frowning. ‘It just seems a bit wankerish to say, “Hey look at me, I’m so attractive.” Besides, who’d want a picture of me on their wall?’

  ‘Er … Anna, my flatmate.’

  Hibs acknowledged that with a shrug. ‘Besides her.’ He looked over his shoulder. ‘Seriously, Beth. Can you stop that please? You’re starting to annoy me.’

  ‘Only starting?’ said Vik. ‘You need to try harder, Beth.’

  ‘Clearly.’ Beth took one last photo of Hibs and put the camera down. ‘There. I’ve stopped. Happy now?’

  ‘Yes, thanks.’

  The sound of footsteps made her turn round.

  ‘What’s going on here?’ Roger looked at the boys in their lab coats and Beth, standing at the end of the bay, holding a camera. ‘Pissing around as usual, Beth?’

  ‘I’m on my lunch,’ she said. ‘And my gels are staining.’ She pointed to the timer, counting down on her bench.

  ‘Hmm.’ Roger looked her up and down with an expression of contempt. ‘Hibs, have you got a minute? I need to talk to you about the revisions to that grant application.’

  ‘Give me five minutes,’ said Hibs. ‘I’ll just put the samples in to digest.’

  ‘Good. Good. I’ll see you in a few minutes then.’ Roger turned to go, but then looked at Beth again. ‘Get back to work, Beth.’

  Beth stuck her tongue out at his retreating back, but put the camera back in its case anyway.

  ‘That was crap timing,’ said Hibs.

  ‘Isn’t it always.’ She stowed the camera bag under her desk and pulled out her lab coat with a sigh. ‘I’m destined to always be caught not working whenever Roger comes around.’ She lit her Bunsen burner and dejectedly started to label flasks. ‘It’s not fair. He’s never around when I’m doing the night shift.’

  Chapter Five

  Beth and Anna designed a simple poster and ran off a few copies. Lara called round to Beth’s lab the next day to collect them.

  ‘Morning,’ Lara said, when Beth let her in through the security door. ‘Is it safe to come in?’

  ‘Roger’s teaching, so yes.’ She led the way into the dry area of the lab. Reaching under her desk, she pulled out a wodge of posters.

  Lara leaned against the desk. ‘So, how’s it going?’

  Hibs came into the dry area, tossing his gloves into the bin en route. ‘Hello, gorgeous lady,’ he said to Lara. ‘How’re you?’

  ‘All the better for seeing you, Hibs.’

  ‘How’s The Man?’

  There was the briefest of pauses before Lara said, ‘He’s fine too, thanks.’ Beth looked up, sensing something amiss, but Lara wasn’t looking at her.

  ‘So, which month are you going to be then?’ Lara asked Hibs as she put the posters into her bag.

  ‘What? In Beth’s calendar? I’m not doing that.’

  Lara looked at Beth, but she shrugged. They’d discussed it; he’d refused. She wasn’t going to argue with him. She could tell by the set of his mouth that this was something he wasn’t going to back down on.

  ‘Why not?’ Lara asked. ‘You’ve got a PhD. You’re not bad-looking. There’s nothing obviously wrong with you.’

  ‘Thanks. From you, that’s high praise.’

  ‘Seriously, why not?’

  ‘He’s too cool,’ said Beth.

  ‘No,’ said Hibs patiently. ‘I’m too shy.’

  Both women laughed.

  ‘I am,’ he protested. ‘I really don’t like the idea of being hung on some woman’s wall and being ogled. It feels … wrong.’

  Beth said, ‘I thought you liked women ogling you.’

  Hibs shrugged. ‘Not really. I think of it as a sort of service. They want sex. I want sex. It all works out.’

  Lara shook her head. ‘You astonish me. By rights you should be totally repellent.’

  ‘It’s part of my charm,’ he said. ‘That’s why you love me.’

  Lara looked at Beth, who pulled a face. ‘Don’t look at me,’ Beth said. ‘I don’t get it either. My housemate fancies him. She’s always going on about the way he moves.’

  ‘What about the way he moves?’ said Lara. She put her head to one side and examined him. ‘What’s so special about it?’

  ‘Do you mind? I can hear you.’ Hibs threw himself into his chair.

  ‘Hibs, walk around a bit, will you,’ said Lara.

  He ignored them. After a while, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. ‘Stop looking at me. You’re making me nervous.’

  Beth grinned. ‘I’m just trying to work out what all these women see in you.’

  His shoulders stiffened and he rubbed his nose again. ‘Well, please don’t.’

  ‘You can’t stop me.’

  ‘I can.’ He stood up and stamped out. ‘Bye, Lara.’

  ‘B
ye, Hibs.’ Lara watched him leave. She turned to Beth ‘Does he always stomp about like that?’

  ‘No,’ said Beth. ‘He’s normally a lot more graceful.’ She wheeled her chair across to where she could peer into the main lab, and watched him pull on his lab coat.

  ‘He does have a nice arse though,’ said Lara.

  ‘I can still hear you,’ Hibs called over his shoulder.

  Beth and Lara grinned at each other.

  At half past five in the morning Hibs stood in the middle of his living room. The neighbours hadn’t woken up yet, so he couldn’t hear their footsteps or radios through the shared walls. It was about the only time of day his little house was quiet enough for him to do his meditation. It was his favourite time in the morning.

  His few items of furniture were placed so that there was a space in the middle. There was just enough room for him to practise his kata if he concentrated and maintained control. Most people didn’t realise that karate wasn’t about speed: it was about control. Lately, his control had been shocking. If he carried on like this, he was going to hurt himself. Or worse, someone else.

  Hibs sighed, shook his arms to loosen them and stretched. He knew why he was having problems: he wasn’t focusing properly, letting thoughts of Beth distract him when he was supposed to be concentrating. The fact that he’d been working nights meant that he slept through his kata time every other day, and trying to meditate when the hubbub of daily life was in full swing was just a disaster. He had to get back into it. He owed it to his students. They were going to a competition soon and they needed him to be there for them: they were a good bunch and they deserved a decent Sensei.

  He put his movement yoga CD on and turned the volume down so that he didn’t wake the neighbours. He stood in neutral position, turning his attention inward, until he was aware of all his muscles. Focusing intently, he found his core. Only then did he start to move.

  Beth checked her pigeonhole and found one snail mail submission for the calendar. She glanced at the photo – not bad – and wondered if Anna had had many entries.

  They had put the posters up wherever they could and asked all the women from the group to spread the word, but the take-up had been fairly low. At the rate they were going, they would only have about eight months’ worth of candidates.