Unplugged: A Blue Phoenix Book

by Swallow, Lisa

  “I bet you did,” he says.

  “Can we not do this now? I want to get ready for this evening.” I want the subject changed. “Liam.”

  “Look at me and tell me the truth, then I’ll let you go. Did you?”

  I open my eyes expecting teasing amusement but the arousal in his eyes matches the erection against my body. He’s not going to let me go whatever I say to him. “Yes. Will you let me go now?”

  Liam’s eyes darken further and he sits back on his heels. “Show me.”

  Taking advantage of the lack of Liam’s weight on me, I shuffle backwards. “Liam! No, you said…” I make to climb off the bed and Liam grabs me around the waist from behind, pulling me back toward him.

  “Cerys, I didn’t say you could get dressed yet.” Liam closes his large palm around my breast, tightening his grip on my waist with the other arm. “You need to do what you’re told sometimes.”

  “I’m not doing what you just asked,” I say, leaning away from him.

  “Boring.” He runs his tongue along my back, scraping me with his rough chin. “Can I do it instead then?”

  I huff; aware I won’t escape the strong arm around my waist anytime soon, especially when he’s in this mood. “You’re very bad at taking no for an answer, Liam.”

  “So a definite no?” He releases his grip and I turn to him, running my fingernails across his chest.

  “Later.”

  Liam pouts. “Okay.” As I climb off the bed to get dressed, Liam smacks my backside hard. “But you’re in trouble later.”

  With one last lingering gaze on my naked body, Liam disappears out of the room, leaving me amazed at my own self-control.

  CHAPTER 25

  CERYS

  Following Liam’s impromptu visit, I'm running late. Aware of my hidden anxiety of an evening with Sky and Dylan, Liam decided on an informal poolside barbecue so at least getting ready won't take long. I pull a sarong style green dress over a black bikini and don’t bother with make-up.

  My nerves about meeting Sky and Dylan are unfounded. Dylan, I already know from years ago, and he greets me without the pretension I expected. I haven’t seen him for many years and the shirtless Dylan in front of me has filled out a lot since then. He’s not bulky, but not as wiry as Liam. Dylan looks exactly as he does in the pictures, his striking blue eyes captivating, the height and presence of the man enough to turn any girl’s insides out. But not me, I was always Liam’s girl. Whatever Liam says, I swear there was an underlying element of insecurity in his behaviour an hour ago.

  “Hi, again,” says Sky. “Excuse me if I don’t do the whole air kissing thing.”

  “I wouldn’t know what to do if you did.”

  Dressed in a short, blue summer dress with spaghetti straps, Sky sits at the edge of the pool; feet dipped in the warm water. Her blonde waves are pulled back into a ponytail, sunglasses on her head. Dylan sits on a lounger behind, absentmindedly stroking her neck. The Dylan I knew years ago had long hair; he looks strange with short curls barely touching his ears. There’s always been something remarkable about Dylan, even when he was younger. Apart from the face and body that consistently breaks girls’ hearts, he has a presence. Even if you don’t like him, there’s no way you could remain unaware of the aura surrounding Dylan. He exudes something inexplicable that has people doing what he wants without his needing to ask. I’m sure this isn’t all due to Dylan’s fame, I was aware of this years ago and was nervous of him.

  “Have you been over here long?” asks Sky.

  “A week, we go back to Wales next week.” I perch onto the edge of the pool next to Sky.

  “I think Liam would like to keep you here,” says Dylan, and Sky elbows him. “What?”

  “That sounded creepy.”

  Dylan flicks Sky’s ear. “Whatever. I’m getting a beer.”

  As he gets up, Sky leans backwards and looks up at him, proffering her glass. “White wine, please.”

  “Huh. I’m a waiter, now?”

  “Yep. What do you want, Cerys?”

  “I’m okay for now, thanks.”

  Dylan wanders off and returns with two beers and a wine. As he passes the glass to Sky, he kisses her softly on the mouth before walking over to Liam. I remember Dylan as a tense person, with a guarded look similar to Jem’s. The look in his eyes with Sky is far removed from the stressed guy I once knew; a softness I wouldn’t associate with the Dylan Morgan I’ve read about over the last few years. Liam briefly told me about the mess he got himself into, and I can see exactly how he got himself out of it. Sky.

  “Is your little girl around?” asks Sky.

  “Ella? She’s sleeping. Her body clock is still all over the place so I imagine she’ll be up and about soon.”

  “I’d like to meet her, this girl who’s stolen Liam’s heart.” Sky sips her wine. “Well, the other girl, apart from you.”

  I can’t help my face heating, and I glance over at Liam who’s joking around with Dylan by the barbecue. They’re both shirtless with tattoo covered, toned chests. I remember some of the pictures of the men constantly on my Facebook feed. Malibu mansion and two semi-naked rock stars. The school mums would kill to be where I am now. I laugh.

  “What’s funny?” asks Sky.

  “This. Here.” I tip my head. “Being with Liam.”

  “You look worried.”

  “Weren’t you?” I ask her.

  “Of course, but you have the benefit of knowing Liam. I didn’t know who the hell Dylan was and it was a shock when I found out. Not as big a shock as the cameras in my face, but yeah...” She sloshes water with her feet. “I won’t get used to the attention; but if I want to be with Dylan, I’ll have to put up with it until the next big thing comes along and they’re bored of us.”

  “I worry that I’m not enough,” I say quietly.

  “Why? Because you’re not Honey?”

  Her straight talking is a surprise, but also a relief. “Partly, but I’m a single mum and very ordinary.”

  “Not to Liam, and that’s what matters.”

  “I suppose.”

  Sky stands. “When I first met the Blue Phoenix guys, I liked Liam the most. Partly because I was pissed off with Dylan at the time, but mostly because Liam’s a genuine guy. I’m glad he didn’t marry Honey. You hungry?”

  I shake my head as Sky walks over to the guys. Liam told me Sky tells it like it is and her honesty and openness is refreshing, if not a little off-putting. As soon as she reaches Dylan, he encloses her in his arms and kisses her head, conversation with Liam over.

  As the evening progresses, the more I see how Sky and Dylan exist in their own world. They speak and are polite; but it’s as if we’re on the edge of something that they keep hidden. Maybe it’s because they are used to protecting themselves from scrutiny; perhaps they don’t realise they’re doing it, but Sky and Dylan are intense.

  A few wines later and Sky relaxes around me. We sit on cushioned benches beneath the paved patio near the pool, a long glass table covered in empty bottles and half-finished meals. I whisper secrets I know about the teen Blue Phoenix, telling her about their disastrous first gigs and how painful it was living above their favourite rehearsal place. At first, Dylan appears put out by my revealing his embarrassing past, but Liam teases him over caring about his image too much and Sky agrees. Another dent to his ego happens when Ella appears in the glass doorway.

  The sleepy girl wanders over and sits on my knee as I recline on the bench next to Liam. She barely registers Sky and Dylan, who watch curiously, as Liam switches his attention to Ella.

  “Are you okay?” he asks her.

  “I woke up.” Ella says.

  “I can see that,” I say. “Were you dreaming about Magic Mountain?”

  Ella smiles sleepily. “Liam was scared.”

  “I was not!”

  “You held my hand and squeezed really tight!” she says.

  Liam puts his finger to his lips. “Shush! Don’t tell Dylan and Sky.�
��

  Ella turns to them as if only realising they’re there. “Hello.”

  “Hi, Ella,” smiles Sky and nudges Dylan.

  “Yeah, hello.” Dylan turns back to Liam. “You were going to tell me about Jem and this band he’s discovered. You reckon they’re good enough to join the tour next year?”

  “I was talking to Liam,” says Ella to Dylan. “Don’t be rude.”

  Dylan flips a stunned look between Liam and me. “Um. Okay.”

  Sky sniggers into her wine. “Yeah, Dylan, not everybody is impressed by your rock god status.”

  Dylan scowls at Sky, but he clearly has no idea what to say to Ella. I’m embarrassed she spoke to him like that, but I always tell her off when she interrupts my conversations.

  “Come on, Ella. Let’s find Emily. Maybe she can fix you a snack before you go back to bed.” I lift her onto the floor.

  “Night, Liam.” Ella leans down and kisses his cheek. His discomfort with her affection lessens as the days pass, but this time his hug is awkward, and I know why as a shocked Dylan looks on. As far as Ella’s concerned, anybody I show affection to should get hers too.

  “I’ll be back soon,” I say to Liam and kiss him gently on the mouth.

  Luckily, he’s not as reticent about showing affection to me and gives me a slow, lingering kiss.

  ****

  LIAM

  I brace myself for Dylan’s reaction as Sky unfolds herself from the sofa and heads toward the kitchen with her empty bottle of wine, still snickering.

  “Dude...” Dylan says and shakes his head.

  “What?”

  “The kid! You’re real daddy material!” He snorts and drinks.

  “She’s part of Cerys’s life, man, so she’s part of mine.”

  “Mmhmm.” A bowl of corn chips rest on the table in front and Dylan grabs a handful. “I never thought I’d see you with Cerys Edwards.”

  “Yeah, I never thought I’d see you stick with one girl. I guess we’re all full of surprises.”

  “Touché. So you’re serious then?”

  “I think so.”

  “Is she the reason for the wedding disaster?” continues Dylan, shovelling more chips into his mouth.

  “Not beating around the bush, are you?”

  Sky reappears with a bottle of red wine, face flushed. I know enough about Sky to spot when she’s had too much to drink. “What’re you talking about?” she asks.

  “Liam’s wedding.”

  Sky’s eyes widen. “Are you getting married again?” I open my mouth to retort and she puts a hand over hers. “I mean a proper one.” She shakes her head. “Crap, I mean one you’ll turn up for...”

  “Sky, you’re drunk and digging a hole,” says Dylan and laughs. “I asked if Cerys was the reason for the last disaster.”

  “Can we not discuss my personal life?” I snap. “What about you guys? Set a date yet?” I’m secretly pleased by the shifting looks and lack of response. Ha.

  “No,” says Dylan eventually.

  Sky pours a glass and takes a long drink without replying.

  Silence. Great, my attempt at a comeback is a conversation killer.

  “I like Cerys,” says Sky. “Hang onto her.”

  “I intend to.”

  “But don’t scare her; your life is a world away from hers, especially with Ella.”

  “I know.” I’m irritated by their continued intrusion into my personal life.

  “Just talking from experience, Liam.”

  Dylan rubs Sky’s shoulders and hugs her close; she snuggles into him and kisses his arm. Their love is obvious to everyone around. Could I ever have that with Cerys?

  Cerys reappears and with her, the absolute certainty we can. She only has to enter a room I’m in, and the world retreats to me and her. I love Cerys, and when we’re apart, everything inside aches for her in a frightening way I haven’t experienced before. She crosses over and sits on my lap, resting her head on mine, in a way as natural as I see in the couple with us. I nudge her neck, she smells of roses and chlorine from the pool, of Cerys and home. I hold her tight and bury my face into her warm skin, wishing we could live here forever and never let her go back to Wales.

  CHAPTER 26

  CERYS

  Ella paddles at the edge of the surf, filling her bucket with water. She heads back to where I sit on the rug with Liam and pours the water into the moat by her sandcastle. Ella’s face is pink so I call her over to touch her cheeks, which are too hot. She’s not used to the strong sun, so I know our last day on the beach will be short.

  I sit between Liam’s legs, resting my head against his warm, naked chest. Encompassed by Liam and this life, reality retreated; but is returning the way the tide edges toward us.

  “Are you sure you won’t stay longer?” he asks.

  “I think the longer we stay, the more Ella will get used to this and the harder it will be to explain this was just a holiday.”

  “You could stay here as long as you wanted though,” he presses.

  “She starts school in a few weeks. In Cardiff.”

  Liam’s hot breath huffs against my neck. “I guess.”

  I twist and see the disappointment in his eyes. “We keep having this conversation.”

  “I don’t like being away from you.”

  “Wherever I am, you’ll be away from me sometimes; it’s your life. So I’d prefer to be somewhere I’m comfortable when you are away.”

  “Like a Malibu mansion?” he asks, poking me.

  I pull a ‘stop talking about this’ face and place my lips on his instead. “Like a terraced house in Cardiff.”

  “Ugh. Cerys. I’m going to buy a place there.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Yes, I am. Suit yourself if you don’t want to live there.” He rests back on his arms again, the muscles in his biceps flexing as he does.

  Wanting to avoid an argument, I go to Ella, and crouch down to help her with the moat. She’s getting frustrated that the water seeps away however hard she tries to fill the space. The last couple of days, Ella’s been moodier with darkened smudges beneath her eyes. This holiday excitement is having a bad effect on her behaviour; she’s spoilt.

  “Ten more minutes, then we need to finish packing your things,” I tell Ella.

  “I want to stay here,” she says digging furiously with her spade.

  “I know, but we have to go home. Daddy misses you.”

  Craig calls every day, demanding answers about why I took Ella to the States without telling him and insisting on talking to her. Strange how his sudden interest in Ella coincided with something happening outside of his control. I don’t understand his behaviour because he knew we were going away. Craig’s insistent he’s coming over to the house as soon as we get back to Cardiff. We land in the morning and I protest how selfish he is because we’ll be tired.

  Craig laughed saying I was the one being selfish. I hung up.

  The sunlight bounces off the blue of the Pacific, the horizon meeting the ocean and the sky clear of clouds. I’m in a dream I’ll wake up from. Eager to feel the warm water on my feet one last time, I head to the shoreline and let the waves lap over my toes. Liam joins me and holds my hand.

  The simple gesture, the gentleness of his touch and warmth of his presence drags reality back. We’re leaving all this behind tomorrow and a few days after that, we return to our individual worlds, only seeing each other occasionally. I’m tangled with Liam’s life and the thread pulls me into knots. I fight the coming tears but one escapes.

  “Cerys? What’s wrong?” asks Liam.

  “It hurts,” I say quietly.

  “What hurts? Are you okay?”

  The words I’ve bottled up as they’ve grown in my mind over the last couple of days stumble out. “Loving you hurts because I know one day it will tear me apart. And when you do, it’ll break Ella’s heart too.”

  “I don’t understand. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “Really?
How can you promise that? Nobody can.”

  He takes my arm and turns me toward him. “You don’t understand. I don’t just love you; but I ache for you when I can’t see or touch you. I have done ever since you kissed me in the bedroom at Christmas. Even the slightest touch soothes me because I somehow sense you love me, too.” He rests his fingers beneath my chin and kisses me softly. “I feel connected and complete.”

  I sniff back the stupid tears that are so unwarranted around Liam, the man who speaks from his heart to mine. Holding his face with one hand, I return his kiss.

  Liam rubs away the tear that touches his cheek. “The idea of anything or anyone hurting you or when I see Craig upsetting you, I get something like anger, but worse –it flashes through me. I want to wrap you both up away from the world and keep you safe.”

  Liam, the laid-back guy with a big heart, hides another man beneath. I know this Liam; he’s the dominant and possessive man who finds his way into our bed. The fact I arouse this uncontrolled side of him concerns me. I’m not afraid Liam will hurt me, but I am worried about his reaction if anybody else does.

  “I love you and I want to take care of you,” he says. “I want to always be there for you and Ella, and whatever happens, I will be.”

  “Thank you.”

  Slipping my hands around his neck and digging my fingers into the back of his hair, I look into the eyes of a man struggling with how he feels. The connection we have through a look or a touch is strange, the unspoken communication finally allowing me to understand how two people are meant to be.

  “So you’re saying you’re a lion and not a kitten?” I ask.

  Liam grabs my backside and pulls me into his hips. “You don’t need to ask me that.”

  I brace myself for one of his hard kisses, but he tunes into my need for comfort and tempers the heart-thumping desire of our bodies touching. Gently holding my face, Liam reminds me how our intimacy goes beyond the physical, and how the slightest touch or kiss pushes him further into my soul. We’re not just a part of each other’s lives now, but a part of each other.