Tainted Butterfly

by Terri Anne Browning

  Our floor was the third stop on the way up, and I kept her close in front of me until we got off to hide just how hard I was for her. I unlocked our apartment door, and she walked in ahead of me, but as I closed the door behind us, she turned to face me. Those pretty, blue eyes watched me for a long moment before she spoke.

  “I’m going to shower.”

  Reluctantly, I released her hand. “Okay, baby.”

  She watched me for another moment before turning and going to her room. I watched her go before daring to move. My instinct was to follow after her and join her in the shower, but I had to take this slow. She wasn’t ready for what I wanted. Fuck, I had been pussyfooting around this whole thing, and I knew she was scared.

  All I had wanted to do was avoid hurting her, but maybe I had done that anyway. I had wasted time with her, and even though that time had been spent together, it had been time that she hadn’t known that I loved her. Now, she was skeptical of me and I had to give her time to realize I wasn’t playing around. Fuck, I would never play around with her or her feelings.

  I locked the door and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water and the bowl of fruit Kassa had washed and cut up earlier that day. In her bedroom, I set the bowl on the bed and then kicked my shoes and my jeans off. Once I was down to only my boxers, I climbed into bed and turned on the TV.

  I was flipping through channels when she came out of the bathroom a long while later. She had a towel wrapped around her body, and she didn’t even look toward the bed as she walked to her closet. When she came out, she was wearing one of my old shirts that fell to her knees, so I couldn’t tell what she was wearing underneath it.

  I took the lid off her bowl of fruit as she sat beside me on the bed. Her eyes lit up and she didn’t hesitate to tuck herself against me as I finally found the late-night cartoon channel we had always liked to watch together. Putting her head on my chest, she fed me a slice of strawberry. As she placed the piece of fruit to my lips, I licked the juice off her fingers.

  Her breath hitched, but she didn’t move her fingers away. I kissed her fingertips and then the top of her head.

  “What are we watching?” she asked after a few tense minutes had passed. “Isn’t there a movie on?”

  “This late, the only thing on is what we’re watching or soft-core porn.” I stole a slice of kiwi from her bowl, trying to pretend like my cock wasn’t trying to kill me from the lack of blood flow to my brain.

  “Yeah, I’m good with this, then,” she said with a shy, little laugh.

  “Or we could talk,” I suggested quietly and felt her tense.

  “What’s there to talk about?” she muttered, finding her bowl of fruit more interesting than either the television or me. “Everything that needed to be said has.”

  “We haven’t even touched the important things that need to be said, Kas.” I took the bowl from her, knowing that she could attack me for taking away her food, and set it on the nightstand beside me. Keeping an arm around her, I shifted us so that we were lying down on our sides, facing each other. I pushed her shirt up so I could stroke my fingers up and down her spine. When I felt the top of a pair of panties, I was relieved that she wasn’t bare.

  “Okay, let’s be real for a minute,” she told me, pulling away a little but still arching her back into my touch. She was no more able to pull away from my touch than I was to stop, but the look on her beautiful face was completely serious. “Things have gone down this road twice already,” she reminded me, not that I needed it. I remembered everything as clear as if it had happened yesterday. “Both those times, you freaked out on me and told me that what we were feeling couldn’t be explored. Because you didn’t want it to happen, and then you begged me to forget about it and stay your friend.”

  “I know what I said,” I muttered.

  “Yet, now, you want me to forget about all of that and explore this thing with you. Not because I’m ready, but because you are finally are?” She glared up at me. “Don’t you think that’s even a little bit selfish, Gray?”

  “Yes,” I answered honestly. “It’s selfish—I’m selfish. I always have been, but you still loved me anyway. Which, according to Kin, is a miracle all its own.”

  “What if, for once, I want to be selfish?”

  My heart went completely still in my chest. “What does that mean?”

  “It means that maybe I don’t want to risk you freaking out as soon as you get off and telling me you only want to be friends.” She grasped my hand that was still stroking up and down her back and pulled it away from her. Sitting up, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and stood. Turning, she combed her fingers through her hair. “I can’t do that again, Gray. I won’t let you break my heart all over again. Because that’s what will happen if you do what you did last time.”

  I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. Taking her hands, I pulled her between my legs. “That’s not going to happen, Kas. I swear to you I’m not going to break your heart. Not by pulling that shit on you again or any other way.”

  “How do you know that?” she demanded, her chin trembling as she tried to pull back, but I trapped her with my legs, refusing to let her go. This was too fucking important to let her run from me.

  “Because I know what I want, baby.” I released one of her hands and cupped her cheek, stroking my thumb under her eye to wipe one of the tears that had spilled free. “I want you, Kas. I want us. Do you realize that, this past year, I have woken up beside you every single morning? It’s been the best year of my life because I had you beside me every step of the way. I want that for the rest of my life.”

  “But how?” she cried. “How do you know, Gray? That’s what I want to know. How could you possibly know?”

  “Because I love you.” The words came out so easily because I was so used to saying them to her, but for the first time, they meant so much more than any other time I had spoken them.

  Her face scrunched up because she had been so used to me saying them but she could finally hear the difference. “Gray…”

  “I’m in love with you, Kassa.”

  “You…” She closed her eyes and shook her head, but the smallest of smiles teased at her lips. “You’re in love with me?”

  “Completely.” I kissed her left eye. “Now and forever.” I kissed her right eye. “Until I draw my last breath.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you, little butterfly.” My lips softly touched the corner of her mouth. “More than anything, or anyone, has ever or will ever love you. Because you’re mine, Kassa. Just as much as I’m yours.”

  My lips covered hers, marking her just as my words had proclaimed her as mine. I wanted it to be a soft kiss, but we were both hungry for the taste of each other. Her fingers raked through my hair, holding on for dear life as I lifted her off her feet and dropped onto the edge of the bed with her in my arms. I lowered my hands to her ass, my fingers going under the edge of her panties to touch her soft skin, biting into her flesh as I held her against my throbbing cock.

  I could feel how hot and wet she was for me through our thin layers of underwear, and without realizing what I was doing, I ripped my thumb through one side then the other of her cotton panties before pushing them out of my way. Her head lifted in shock, but it didn’t last long as she gazed down between us and saw the way her bareness looked against the straining bulge of my hardness.

  “You swear you aren’t going to change your mind?” she panted.

  “The only thing that could possibly change my mind right now is if you said no, baby. This is your choice,” I pushed her hair back from her face and kissed a trail from lips to her ear. “So you need to decide now if this is what you want, Kas. Because, in about ten seconds, I don’t know if I will be able to stop what’s about to happen.”

  She licked her kiss swollen lips, her eyes darkening with trepidation for a moment, making my heart stop all over again. If she said no, then I would take an ice-cold shower, but I was praying that she wouldn’t.
>
  Leaning back, she pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her completely naked in my arms. What little blood was left in my brain flooded south, thickening my cock to the point that I was going to blow embarrassingly soon. Her hands lowered, covering her tits, and I suddenly felt like a switch in my head had flipped.

  I filled my hands with her luscious ass, her arms went around me as I stood, and I laid her down across the bed. Pulling back, I got rid of my boxers then spread her legs wide so I could see all of her. Her pink little pussy was soaked for me, her thighs covered in the liquid proof of how much she wanted me. I dropped to my knees, lowered my head, and did what I had been dreaming of doing for over a fucking year.

  The first swipe of my tongue up her pussy was like having a taste of ambrosia. Her body jerked, her legs already trembling.

  “Gray,” she moaned. “Oh, God. Oh shit!” She tried to close her legs around me, to keep me away from the sweetest pussy I had ever tasted, but my hands kept her legs wide, biting into the soft flesh of her inner thighs so I could have my fill. “I-I’m gonna come,” she panted, her back arching and her fingers twisting in the sheet under her.

  The sounds she was making only drove me wilder, and I drank up every last drop that flooded her pussy. I speared her with my tongue, pushing it into her tight heat and tasting her deeper. As soon as I felt the first contraction around my tongue, I pulled back, wanting to see her face as she came for me. Several seconds passed, and she was still coming hard. I had gone without for over a year, and the sight of her coming apart for me had me ready to blow then and there.

  I spread her thighs wider, and grasping my cock in my right hand, I pushed it into her tight opening. Her moan sounded like I was torturing her with pleasure. Her body arched to let me go deeper, and I barely thought about the barrier that marked her a virgin as I pushed through it and seated myself balls-deep in her still contracting pussy.

  Sweat dripped down my face and coated my body. I was going to come any minute now, but first, I had to savor this feeling. I couldn’t even remember how long it had been since the last time I had been inside a chick, couldn’t picture her face or any of the others who had come before. All I saw was Kassa lying under me with my cock deep inside her, mewling softly in pleasure as her release slowly eased up.

  She looked up at me through her lashes, her cheeks pink from exertion and pleasure. A smile teased at her lips as she lifted a hand and cupped my jaw. I turned my face, kissing her palm as my lower body began to slowly move. I didn’t pull back, knew that I would explode if I pushed into her again like I just had, so I just rocked against her.

  “I love you,” she whispered so low that I would have missed it if I hadn’t been so close to her, but I thanked God that I heard it.

  “I love you more,” I vowed and lowered my head, sealing it with a kiss that was long and tender as my balls tightened almost painfully and my cock shook as I came inside her.

  TWENTY FIVE

  Kassa

  Gray shifted over me, and for the first time, I realized that my lower body was one massive ache. Slowly, he pulled his cock from me, and I wanted to cry at the loss. With a groan, he lowered himself beside me and pulled me over him so that I was lying half on him and half on the bed.

  I didn’t dare move as I waited. Waited for his sweaty body to cool and reality to sit in. Wait for him to break my heart all over again and tell me that he couldn’t do this with me after all. That he didn’t want to be with me. That he didn’t love me…

  “Did I hurt you bad?” he asked in a voice deep with an emotion I couldn’t place.

  I shook my head, still too scared of what was going to happen next to dare look at him and let him see the tears that were already threatening to fall in anticipation of what he would say. One large hand landed gently on my hip, locking me against him as his other hand stroked up and down my spine. It felt perfect; everything about this moment was perfect. Except I couldn’t enjoy it because I was too scared of the words that would crush me if he uttered them.

  “Kas, you’re too quiet, baby. I need you to talk to me.” He shifted us again so that we were both on our sides, and he tipped my chin up so I had to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he whispered when he saw the tears I couldn’t hide. Instantly, his eyes filled with tears too. “Where does it hurt?”

  The sight of his tears confused me even as a few of my own fell onto my cheeks. “My heart,” I whispered honestly.

  His entire body seemed to jerk at my words, and he pressed a hand to the center of my chest. “Here?” he breathed, his sand-colored eyes tormented, and I nodded. “Why does your heart hurt?”

  “Because I’m scared you’re going to break it again.”

  “Baby, that isn’t going to happen. Ever. I thought you believed me when I told you that earlier.” The hand he had on my chest moved until he was wiping my tears away with his fingertips. “I love you, Kassa.”

  It was slowly starting to sink in that this was real, that those words meant more than what they once had. The ache in my heart began to ease, and soon, I could take a deep breath again. As my breasts lifted and fell, my hard nipples brushed over his damp chest, which caused my entire body to feel like it was being stroked with an invisible fire all over again. Shyly, I looked down at how our bodies were practically intertwined and saw that his cock had already started to harden.

  The smear of blood along his shaft caught my attention, just as my pussy began to cream for him all over again. Following my gaze, he inhaled deeply at the sight of the proof that he had been the first man to own my body.

  The first and the last, that once bitchy voice sighed, now content.

  “Shit!” His quiet exclamation made me jump.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Kas, I didn’t protect you.” He sat up straight, his hand landing on something on the sheet, and his face paled when he saw the blood stain. “Holy shit, are you okay?” His voice shook as he jerked to his feet and then carefully lifted me into his arms. “Are you hurting?”

  “I’m fine,” I said to assure him, but he didn’t seem to be listening as he carried me into the bathroom and turned the shower on. “Gray, really. I’m okay.”

  He seemed lost in his own head as he waited for the water to warm up and then placed me on my feet in the walk-in shower. He grabbed a fresh washcloth from the shelf outside the shower, and after getting into the shower with me, he washed away all traces of the blood that I hadn’t realized was on my thighs, his fingers trembling as he gently cleaned me up.

  “Gray,” I murmured, touching his face, which was clenched. “Please look at me.”

  His eyes closed for a long moment before he finally lifted his lashes. The self-loathing in his gaze made me hurt for him. “I’m so sorry, Kassa. I didn’t realize I was so rough. I … I …” His chin trembled as he broke off and blew out a harsh breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry, baby.”

  I stood on my tiptoes and brushed my lips over his, effortlessly cutting off any more words from him. “I’m okay,” I repeated as I pulled back enough to meet his eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved what we did, and I can’t wait to do it again.” I pressed my nakedness against him and felt his body harden all over again.

  “Kassa, I didn’t protect you,” he whispered in a voice that still shook. “I lost my head and didn’t think. Fuck! I couldn’t even think past getting to be inside you.”

  I should have been freaking out right along with him over that point, but I felt calm. Because, if something did happen, Gray would take care of me. He loved me, and I felt safe and secure knowing that we would have each other’s backs no matter what.

  “I love you,” I said, knowing the reaction I was going to get, and he didn’t disappoint me.

  He went still, his body, though still hard, relaxed against mine. “I love you more.”

  I stroked the dripping hair back from his face and smiled up at him. “That’s all that matters, okay? As long as you love me, we can conquer the world.”

>   He pressed his forehead to mine, the water cascading over both of us as he locked his hands at the small of my back and held me. “That’s exactly how you make me feel, little butterfly. But the consequences of what I just did… That could be bigger than anything we’ve ever faced before.”

  “Alicia would call it an adventure,” I murmured and realized that part of me was already excited at the possibility of what could already be happening inside my body. But he seemed freaked out, so I didn’t voice my thoughts. We could talk about this later, if we had something to talk about.

  Instead, I grabbed the bottle of body wash and lathered his body up with my hands, stroking every inch of him. His breath hissed out through his teeth when I finally cupped his hard cock in both hands, stroking him from the base to the tip.

  “I want you,” I murmured against his lips as I kissed him. “I want you so bad. I’m hurting, I need this in me so bad, Gray.”

  “Kassa,” he groaned, kissing me back. “Baby.”

  I stroked him harder, washing away any last trace of what had happened from his thick shaft. “I love you.”

  Those three words seemed to be his trigger, because with a wild growl, his big hands grasped my ass hard and lifted me off my feet as he backed me against the shower wall. The coolness of the tiles against my back did nothing to alleviate the inferno blazing through my body. My legs wrapped around his waist, and he thrust into me.

  I had barely noticed the discomfort when he had broken through my tender flesh the first time, but this time, I felt a sharp slice of discomfort before he pushed his hand between us and rubbed my clit with his soapy fingers. My head fell back, bumping against the tiled wall as he groaned something that sounded feral as he jackhammered his hips, thrusting into me as if he didn’t even know what he was doing.