Sarah's Solace

by Sarah's Solace (epub)

  “I think I’m in the Rocky Horror Picture Show,” I said.

  She threw her head back and laughed. “Or a Halloween party? It is quite a spectacle!”

  Ethan had kept his word and stayed close by. He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and smiled when he saw me.

  “Better?” I asked.

  “You already looked great, but now you look… hippie cool.”

  I playfully punched him in the stomach, and we smiled at each other.

  “Well, I better go mingle,” said Priscilla. “I’m so glad I got to meet you, Sarah. And I’m glad I have a new friend.” Then she whispered in Ethan’s ear, “She’s a keeper.”

  Ethan smiled. She kissed us both on the cheek before she walked off and started chatting with her guests.

  “She’s really cool,” I said to Ethan. “How did you two meet?”

  “Some other friends brought me here one night.”

  “My whole perception of ghosts is changing.”

  “That’s good!” he said as he led me into the main room.

  Ethan introduced me to so many spirits. I never enjoyed history class, but this kind of history lesson was awesome. I met everyone - sixteenth century Native Americans, European explorers, Gold Rush miners, flower children. It was amazing. Everyone was friendly, willing to talk to me, and very interested in my life and the modern world. Rarely did anyone mention how they died, or what it was like to be a spirit for so long, even though I was very curious. Our conversations were more about our lives, how much we cherished the ones we loved, and how beautiful the world was, despite all the chaos.

  Ethan didn’t talk much, but he stayed close to me and seemed to enjoy every minute of listening to me talk with everyone. I was so engrossed that it took my mind off of everything else for a while. Their stories made me laugh, while others filled me with sorrow, but I loved listening to them.

  I must have talked to everyone for hours, since it was getting close to daylight. Once we were sitting on the sofa, Ethan winked at me and placed his hand on my knee. His touch still made me tingle.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asked. “I’m sure we’ll be back, but it has been a long night.”

  I was having a great time, and a part of me didn’t want to leave yet, but the thought of being alone with Ethan was far more tempting.

  “OK,” I answered.

  As we got up to leave, Priscilla blew us a kiss from across the room. I smiled back and waved.

  After we walked out the front door, I asked, “Where are we anyway?”

  “Look to your right.”

  I then noticed the beautiful, golden suspension bridge glowing in the distance.

  I beamed at Ethan. “San Francisco!”

  He took me completely by surprise as he quickly, but gently took my face in his hands and kissed me. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have time to think or be nervous. It was perfect. His lips gently parted mine, but not completely, and it left me wanting more.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, as if he had done something wrong.

  “Don’t be,” I answered. I didn’t hesitate as I reached up to put my hands around his neck. I didn’t hold back at all when I kissed him, and neither did he. Before I knew it, our spirits were tight together as he pulled me close. I felt his kiss everywhere as I felt our passion rising. He was the first one to pull away, slowly and reluctantly.

  “We better go,” he said, smiling at me.

  “Where?”

  “Wherever you want.”

  I looked toward the bridge then smiled back at him.

  “You sure about that?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  He held both my hands. “You know the drill. Close your eyes and imagine us there.”

  Before I knew it, we were. Amazingly, we were standing in the Golden Gate Bridge. I laughed and shook my head with disbelief.

  “I just can’t believe how easy it is to travel,” I told Ethan.

  “At least there are some perks,” he agreed.

  We walked along the sidewalk holding hands, taking in the scenery. Being there with Ethan, looking out at the night and the distant city lights, was a beautiful moment, although nothing could top that kiss we just had. I smiled at Ethan, wanting to kiss him again. He smiled back at me and squeezed my hand while we continued to walk.

  Before I could realize what was happening, something hit me from behind and knocked the wind out of me. It was a bicycle. The cyclist of course continued to speed on, not realizing he had hit me.

  “Are you OK?” Ethan asked.

  “I think so.”

  We stopped walking so I could recover.

  “He didn’t see us,” he explained. “He actually rode right through you.”

  “I feel violated!” I said, irritated.

  Ethan tried not to smile. “You’ll be OK.” He gave me a hug. “He kind of put a damper on our romantic stroll, though, didn’t he?”

  I couldn’t help smiling. Ethan lifted up my chin and gave me quick kiss. Then he picked me up in his arms and started carrying me.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, laughing.

  “Close your eyes.”

  I closed my eyes tight, anticipating where we would end up next.

  “OK, open!” he said as he put me down. “How about a walk on the beach now?”

  “Perfect!” I answered. “Only, let’s take a rest.”

  I sat down and looked at the ocean, illuminated by the moon, and listened to the waves crashing. Ethan sat down beside me.

  “It’s so beautiful here at night,” I said.

  “I love to sit here at night and look at the bridge, and lie down and look at the stars,” he said as he lay down and put his hands behind his head.

  I decided to lie down as well, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me.

  I had so many more questions to ask him, but I didn’t say a word. It would probably lead to things I didn’t want to think about or accept. I just wanted to be in the moment and be in Ethan’s arms.

  When we woke up from our ‘resting our spirits’ as Ethan called it, the sun was coming up. The early morning exercisers were oblivious of our presence. I never liked attention and often wished I were invisible, but I didn’t actually like the feeling, now that it was real.

  “I couldn’t imagine going through this alone,” I told Ethan.

  “I’m glad that I’m here” he said as he lightly touched my cheek.

  “We’re here for each other,” I clarified.

  “So, what would you like to do today?” he asked.

  “Hmm, how about we walk around downtown?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I know what to expect now if someone walks right through me,” I said jokingly. “Seriously, though, I just want to know what it is like to be in public.”

  “It feels like you’re on the outside looking in. However, let’s try not to look at it negatively. I want this to be a fun day.”

  I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s go!”

  It felt like we were tourists, only nobody noticed us. I admit I did enjoy being able to stare at anyone I wanted to without them seeing me. It gave a whole new meaning to people watching. We laughed at some and felt sorry for others. Only the very few seemed to have it all figured out. We could spot them easily, as they radiated a good energy, and we knew they appreciated life.

  I saw everything from a different perspective than I had before. I was angry at myself for being so angry with life. Life was always precious, no matter what happened. I understood that now, but it was too late.

  Ethan could tell I was deep in my thoughts. “You OK?” he asked.

  I nodded, but he knew better. I could hear the faint sound of an acoustic guitar and a man singing at a nearby café. “Let’s go over there,” I said.

  It was a small café called TLC House, which stood for The Little Coffee House. There were tables and chairs outside, and a small stage. The patrons looked happy
and relaxed, sipping on their coffee and talking quietly while listening to this guy play guitar and sing a soulful song. I immediately liked his music.

  “I know him actually…knew him I mean. His name is Matt,” said Ethan.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, we used to play in a band together.”

  “You were in a band? I thought you only played solo.”

  “I was in a band originally.” He laughed as he continued, “We were very much head bangers, very electric.”

  “I don’t believe it!” I laughed back.

  “Yep. Then we both decided to go solo and unplug our guitars.”

  “Let’s go sit down,” I said.

  It felt so strange as we seated ourselves side by side at a table for two. Nobody knew we were there, or at least I didn’t think so.

  “Do you think any of them can see us? Or sense us?” I asked.

  “It’s possible,” Ethan explained. “Only the ones who are very perceptive, or are able to really believe.”

  I pondered this as I listened to Matt sing. The song was very passionate. I could tell this man had loved and lost, but he was still hopeful.

  “He’s good,” I told Ethan.

  He smiled and nodded.

  “I’d like to hear you play,” I said. Without thinking about it, I placed my hand on his knee. He placed his hand on mine and gave it a squeeze.

  I studied the people around us and wondered what they were thinking. Did they appreciate their lives? Were they happy? Were they lucky enough to have found love yet? If only they knew we were sitting here. I would have never believed it.

  I noticed a young girl sitting by herself at one of the small tables. She was pretty, but didn’t seem to know it. She was wearing a long Bohemian looking skirt, a knit pullover sweater, and a knit cap. She was sketching something while occasionally looking at Matt up on the stage.

  “Excuse me for a moment,” I said to Ethan.

  He gave me a look of concern.

  “I’ll be right over there,” I assured him, pointing at the girl.

  I slowly walked over to her table and sat down next to her. She didn’t seem to notice my presence as she continued to sketch. I looked at her drawing and realized it was a portrait of Matt playing his guitar. She was very talented, and from what I could tell, very much into Matt. I could see it in her eyes and in her drawing. I couldn’t explain it, but I could also sense it, like I could see her soul.

  As Matt finished his song, the girl quietly clapped with the audience. He announced that he was taking a short break as he placed his guitar on the stand. He was indeed an attractive guy, with a nice build and short, sandy blonde hair. He also seemed very nice and reminded me of Ethan.

  As he walked toward the girl’s table to head inside the café, I could see her getting nervous as she placed her napkin over her sketchpad so he wouldn’t see.

  I thought this was crazy. I knew all too well that life was too short. As soon as he was in front of our table, I knocked her sketchpad onto the floor, and it landed right in front of his feet. I smiled at my ability to do this and the perfect timing of my stunt.

  The girl of course looked surprised and terrified. She quickly began to apologize and reach for her pad, but Matt beat her to it. He picked it up and smiled.

  “You drew this?” he asked.

  “Uh, yeah,” she answered.

  “Wow, you’re really good,” he said sincerely.

  “Thank you. So are you.” She smiled brightly. She had a beautiful smile. I could see that he noticed it too.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Cynthia.”

  “Nice to meet you, Cynthia,” he said as he extended his hand for her to shake.

  “You too,” she said with a little giggle as she shook his hand.

  I was beaming. I slipped away just as he was about to sit down next to her.

  Ethan was standing there smiling at me. “Are you done playing Cupid?” he asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. “I couldn’t help myself.”

  “You did it well,” he said as we looked back at Matt and Cynthia sitting close together, talking and laughing.

  I admit I was pretty proud of myself, but I was especially happy for them.

  “So what do you want to do now?” Ethan asked as we continued to stroll along the streets of San Francisco. We had spent most of the day just walking around, being anonymous, observing people, and talking about life as we saw it and how we knew it.

  “Well, we’ve been around strangers all day, so let’s visit someone we know,” I suggested.

  “Who did you have in mind?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Hmm, well I’m definitely not up to seeing my family crying at my funeral.” I tried to make this comment sound somewhat humorous, but it wasn’t funny at all.

  Ethan quickly tried to change the subject. “You want to try another one of your Cupid stunts?” he asked jokingly.

  I pondered this for a moment. “No, I’m thinking maybe something more devious.”

  “Oh, really? What did you have in mind?”

  I stopped walking as the idea hit me. “Let’s haunt someone!”

  “Sarah! That’s awful!”

  “Oh, come on. There has to be someone out there who has done you wrong.” I thought for a moment. “What about your ex-girlfriend?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought her up. I just can’t believe anyone would cheat on you.”

  “Well, she didn’t exactly cheat on me,” he admitted.

  “But you told me she started seeing someone else.”

  “She did, after I died.”

  “Oh my God, Ethan, I’m sorry I brought it up.”

  “It’s OK.” Then he added, “One week. Can you believe that? Just one week after I was killed, and I saw her in his bed.”

  Poor Ethan. I felt so bad for him. I looked him in the eyes, and I could see the hurt there.

  He quickly suppressed his feelings and surprised me by saying, “Let’s do it!”

  “Do what? Haunt her?” Did he really want to see her again? Wouldn’t it be too painful?

  “Or him. I actually knew the guy, so I’m pretty pissed at him too. I think they are still seeing each other.”

  “Let’s do it then! It feels good to be bad sometimes, doesn’t it?” I asked him teasingly, somewhat flirting.

  He smiled and pulled me to him. I closed my eyes and held on until we were at our destination.

  Soon we were in Sacramento, where Ethan grew up, and were standing in front of a suburban two-story house in a moderately nice neighborhood. It was dark outside and getting a bit chilly and windy. I gave him a questioning look.

  “Heather lives here,” he confirmed.

  It was the first time he had mentioned her name.

  “Come on,” he said as he took my hand and walked toward the house.

  All of a sudden I was nervous, but also exhilarated. It felt so invasive, but also exciting. I wondered what she looked like. He led me to the back of the house, where we could easily see through the French doors into the dining room. I noticed a young girl about my age or maybe a little older quickly clearing away some plates. She had a pretty face, long blonde hair, and a gorgeous figure in blue jeans with a tight, white sweater.

  “That’s her, isn’t it?” I asked.

  Ethan nodded.

  An older woman, who appeared to be her mother, was also rushing around, dressed up like she was going out somewhere. She said something to Heather that made her roll her eyes. Heather then opened the door, and her little black poodle came running outside, directly toward us. He stopped right in front of us and started barking.

  “Can that dog see us?” I asked.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised. Dogs are usually more aware of our presence. They have better senses.”

  “Pooches, what’s wrong?” Heather asked as she walked over to him.

  “Come on. Let’s go inside,” Et
han said.

  We walked in through the open door as Heather followed behind us holding her dog.

  “What was he barking at out there?” her mother asked.

  “Hell if I know,” answered Heather.

  “Watch the language, Heather.”

  Heather rolled her eyes again.

  Her mother grabbed her purse and headed toward the front door. “OK, well, I’m off to meet Michael. Double lock the door behind me.”

  “Bye, Mom.”

  After her mom drove away, Heather made a phone call.

  “Hey. She’s gone now,” she said, followed by a flirty laugh. “Me too.”

  She obviously had plans.

  A few minutes later the bell rang. She quickly primped herself in the mirror and then opened the door. Her visitor was a tall guy with short brown hair.

  “That’s him,” Ethan whispered to me with a tone of disapproval.

  The guy started kissing Heather as soon as she closed the door and locked it back.

  “Are you sure you want to watch this?” I asked.

  “Let’s just see what happens.”

  After they were done greeting each other, she asked him if he brought a video.

  “Yeah. The goriest one I could find!” he answered.

  “Another horror movie? Don’t you get tired of scary movies?”

  “I don’t get scared. I just like all the blood and cool effects.”

  Ethan and I smiled at each other. This was going to be so much fun.

  We waited until they were settled in, cuddling together on the loveseat. Her dog decided to snuggle with Ethan and me. Once he realized who Ethan was, he became glued to his side on the sofa. As the movie started to switch from the typical plot of good-looking high school students in a party atmosphere to a terrorizing, bloody scene, Heather became uncomfortable.

  “You want some popcorn, babe?” Heather asked her boyfriend.

  “She hates horror movies,” Ethan said. “I guess Mark can talk her into doing anything.”

  “Sure. Hurry back, though,” said Mark with a suggestive smile.

  I tried not to be worried that Ethan seemed jealous. He glared at Mark as Heather went into the kitchen to make the popcorn.

  I decided to break the ice and get things going. I walked over the VCR and hit the ‘off’ button. Ethan smiled at me.