Sarah's Solace

by Sarah's Solace (epub)

  “Oh,” I said, sinking back with disappointment. I grabbed my phone to call him while Jake continued talking.

  “Tell him he better not pull this again,” he said with a joking tone. “He’s lucky he gets to work here at all.”

  “Why’s that?” I asked, glancing up at him.

  “You know, because he’s not 21 yet,” he said quietly.

  “What?”

  His smiled faded as he realized his mistake. “Oh shit. How old did he say he was?”

  “21,” I said, getting very angry. “How old is he?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer. I felt so foolish for not knowing.

  “He’s almost 21, which is probably why he said…”

  I got down from the chair and put my coat back on. I didn’t want to hear any more. “Do me a favor and don’t mention that I was here. OK?”

  He slung his little towel over his shoulder and gave me a look of guilt and apology. “Don’t be too hard on him. The guy’s crazy about you.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head before looking at him again. “Your friend has some explaining to do.”

  I drove home. I wasn’t going to chase after him. He could come find me. He was the one who needed to explain himself. I tried to make sense of it, but I couldn’t. How did he know Ethan’s music and all of the other peculiar things I mentioned to Veronica? And now I knew that he lied about his age. I was in love with him, but now I was scared. The whole situation was freaking me out.

  I walked up the steps to my apartment in the darkness, tired and slow, deep in my thoughts. I realized that I left all of my shopping bags in the van, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be in my apartment, relaxing. I searched my purse for my keys when I got close to the top, not looking up until I was in front of my apartment, and that’s when I saw him. It startled me to see Dylan sitting there with his back against the wall. I didn’t say a word and neither did he. I slowly moved closer to him and could see that he was sleeping.

  I was about to wake him, but a thought occurred to me. I leaned down close to him and gingerly felt around his backside until I could feel his wallet. I pulled it out slowly, careful not to wake him, and I succeeded. I stood up and quietly unlocked the door to my apartment. I set my purse down, walked into my living room, and turned on my desk light. I opened his wallet and pulled out his driver’s license, my heart beating fast.

  I thought I heard the faint sound of my door closing, but I looked behind me and didn’t see him. I didn’t want him to catch me going through his wallet, but he had deceived me. I needed to know the truth. I was happy to see that the picture on his license was him and that his name was Dylan Harper. However, it was his birth date that shocked me. I had to grab my desk to keep my balance. He was born December 26, 1988.

  “What are you doing?” I suddenly heard him ask, making me jump.

  I turned around to face him. He could see that his wallet was opened up on my desk, and his license was still in my hand, only he didn’t look angry. He actually started to smile.

  “So you know,” he said quietly, yet happily.

  I was still in disbelief. “You were born on December 26, 1988?”

  He nodded his head, still smiling and walking toward me. I backed up from him.

  “It’s OK. It’s me,” he said, and it looked like he was tearing up.

  “You lied about your age.”

  He nodded. “Yes. I was close enough to 21, and I wanted you to go out with me, and I didn’t want to lose my job,” he said with a laugh, and then he was serious again. “But that’s not important. Sarah, I was born on December 26, 1988. You know what happened that day.”

  Of course I knew. But how could he know?

  “It’s me, Sarah.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I could feel my hot tears. He once again tried to move in closer while I moved away from him.

  “Sarah,” he whispered. “It’s me…Ethan.”

  “No.” I shook my head in disbelief.

  “I didn’t realize it before, but it all started coming back to me in bits and pieces once I saw you again…when I spilled the drink on you!” He rushed to explain everything. “I couldn’t get you out of my head. I had never been so drawn to a woman. Then once we started going out, I started having the dreams and visions, and I started to know things about you that you had never told me.”

  I still couldn’t speak. It felt like a dream, like it was too good to be true. I had always wanted Ethan to come back to me, and here he was, right in front of me.

  When I didn’t say anything still, he continued. “Last night I had another dream, a nightmare actually, about when I was shot, when I died in the woods. When I woke up, I could remember everything. I could remember every moment that you and I shared. I remembered you wandering through the woods after your accident while I was in the tree stand, and I took you back to my cabin, and we played Crazy Eights!”

  I laughed through my tears at the memory. He tenderly took my hand, and I didn’t back away this time.

  “Subconsciously, I must have always known. That’s how I knew the melody for the song. It all makes sense to me now. The day after Christmas, when I walked into the light…I was born, reborn, into this body. My spirit was given another chance to live,” he told me, his voice shaking with emotion. “And now I have another chance to be with you, really be with you.”

  “Ethan,” I said, finally believing the truth of what I was hearing. It all made sense to me too now. I finally understood why my feelings for Dylan were so strong. A part of me must have known it from the first moment I saw him. I moved closer to him and took his face in my hands, moving my thumbs over his features, and drying his tears.

  “You miss my old face?” he asked with a chuckle.

  “I missed you. I can’t believe you’re here.”

  He took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. “It’s been a long time.”

  I let out a sob. “All I’ve ever wanted was you. I could never let you go.”

  I reached up and put my arms around him, squeezing him tight. I could do that now. I could squeeze him without my arms going right through him. I could feel his flesh. He was alive again, like I always wanted more than anything. He came back to me.

  He took my face in his hands. His eyes told me everything, and they always drew me in. He leaned in and touched his lips on mine. I closed my eyes to savor it. It wasn’t my first kiss with Dylan or Ethan, but it felt new and real. It started out slow, just on the surface, and then it was deeper, quickly becoming more passionate. We were impatient, realizing that nothing that could keep us from being together now in every way. We had been waiting for too long, too many years. There was no reason to hold back now.

  His hands moved down my back, and he pulled me in closer to his body while we kissed. I heard him moan as he pressed me against him. When we finally released each other to breathe for a moment, he made me gasp as he moved his hands down to the back of my thighs and then sat me up on the desk. I wanted him with everything that I had. I wanted all of him, and I didn’t care that we were rushing. I couldn’t wait.

  He kissed my neck as I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him to me as I leaned my head back. Suddenly he stopped, and I looked at him with concern. “What?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Are you sure you’re ready to…?” he asked me.

  I laughed a little and smiled. “Ethan…I mean Dylan…” He just smiled and waited for me to continue. I nodded my head, running my fingers through his hair. “Yes!”

  He kissed me again urgently and let his hands move down my neck, over my breasts, and down to my waist until I could feel his hands on my bare skin beneath my blouse. I quickly grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up until he helped me pull it off completely. I put my hands on his chest and let them travel over his muscular arms.

  “I can feel your skin now,” I whispered as I leaned back to look at him again.

  He chuckled as he unbuttoned my blouse. “I want to feel
you, really feel you,” he said seductively as he pulled my blouse over my shoulders. I wriggled my arms out of it and smiled at him as I put my hands around his neck, drawing him to me. His warm hands moved across my back until he found the clasp to my bra, quickly releasing it. He looked down at me, his eyes filled with passion, and then we kissed again, moving our bodies together until we were skin on skin. It felt so good. This was how it was always supposed to be.

  He lifted me up and carried me toward the bedroom with my legs still wrapped around him. I was smiling widely as he rushed me into the room. He tripped on one of my boots that was on the floor by my bed, causing him to throw me on the bed as he fell over. He looked embarrassed, but I couldn’t help laughing. He shook his head and smiled as he leaned over me.

  “I’m always a klutz,” he said.

  “From the moment we met…again.”

  I pulled him down to kiss me until he moved on top of me. I could feel his passion everywhere, and I moaned as I moved my body to fit him in perfectly. He kissed my neck, and I could feel his breath on me as he moved his lips down my chest and to my stomach. He unfastened my jeans and gently removed the rest of my clothing, along with his.

  When he was on top of me again, he moved my hair out of my eyes and smiled at me. “I love you so much,” he said, tears filling his eyes.

  “I love you too.” I could feel my eyes burning with tears as well, happy tears. I kissed him again deeply and let the rest of my body show him how much I loved him.

  “How do you feel?” he asked as he held me close under the covers.

  All I could feel was his warm skin on mine while my body still tingled. However, my stomach began to growl. “Hungry,” I told him as I laughed.

  “Do you feel satisfied?” he asked with a whisper in my ear.

  “No.”

  “What?

  I laughed again. “Because I could never get enough of you.” I turned over until I was on top of him. He pushed my hair behind my ear while I kissed him softly. I could feel him getting excited again, so I teasingly pulled away. “I’m going to order a pizza,” I said suddenly as I jumped out of bed to grab my phone. I could feel his eyes on my naked body as I dialed. I wondered if he expected it to look the same as it did before.

  “I’ve changed a bit, haven’t I?” I asked him, only I wasn’t sure that I wanted to hear the answer.

  “You have. You’re more beautiful.”

  I smiled and bit my lip and then finished placing the pizza order. I lay back down beside him and wrapped my leg around him as his fingers traced up and down my back.

  “So, who’s better looking?” he asked. “Ethan or Dylan?”

  I laughed and looked up at his face. “I can’t answer that! You’re both gorgeous!”

  “Now come on, tell me the truth.”

  “I don’t know. You might get jealous of yourself.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that I look better now, since I can’t go back to my old face.”

  I pinched his cheek. “Well, I do like these dimples.” He smiled and gave me a hug. “By the way, I don’t know what to call you?”

  He laughed lightly as he thought for a moment. “We better go with Dylan, to avoid confusion. I don’t think the world is ready to believe our story yet.”

  “That’s too bad. It’s a great story.”

  Dylan threw on just his jeans before paying for the pizza delivery. He brought it to me in bed, along with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I sat up with the sheet around me and immediately grabbed a piece. He poured me a glass of wine and then started eating.

  I looked at him with a big smile as I chewed.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You never got to eat with me before.”

  “Yeah, that really sucked by the way. I missed food so much.”

  “I couldn’t eat chocolate chip cookies for years. They smelled too much like you. I couldn’t stand it.”

  “Something told me to bring you some the other day.”

  “And I’ve never been able to drink tea again,” I added, regretting my comment immediately.

  The expression on his face changed as he put down his slice of pizza. “I’m so sorry, Sarah.”

  “It’s OK. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I know you had to do it.”

  “We had to wait a long time, but now we can be together in a way that we never could have before.”

  I smiled at him, realizing how right he was. We could have a real future together now.

  I ate another slice of pizza while Priscilla jumped up on the bed. “Hey, Priscilla,” I said, stroking her as she purred. I moved the pizza box off the bed to keep her from trying to eat some. She walked over to Dylan and got right on his lap. “Animals have always been fond of you,” I told him.

  “The original Priscilla was always fond of you. If she could only see us now.”

  “I thought she was up there in heaven somewhere, but who knows where she is now,” I said thoughtfully. “You know, I met her husband recently. He wanted my drawing of her when it was in the gallery.”

  “Really? What did you tell him?”

  “I think he knew, after talking to me, that I knew her spirit.”

  “I miss her now.”

  I nodded. I felt that he had it easier than me over the years, because he didn’t have the memories until now. I didn’t want to remind him of that and make him feel guilty, though.

  When I was finished eating, I stretched up my arms, causing my sheet to fall down, which I could see pleased Dylan. “Well, I think I’m going to take a shower,” I told him as I got up and walked into the bathroom.

  I turned on the shower and then walked back to my bedroom door. He was still sitting on my bed, finishing his glass of wine. “Hey Dylan, you remember when you spilled that drink on me?”

  “Yes,” he said, smiling and rolling his eyes.

  “And then I got soaked at the beach?”

  “Yes,” he said smiling.

  “Well, you seem to like seeing me wet.”

  I laughed and ran the shower. He was there with me in no time.

  We didn’t fall asleep that night until almost morning. Part of me was afraid to go to sleep actually, in case I woke up only to realize that it had all been a dream. When I finally woke up, the sun was shining brightly through my bedroom window. Priscilla was at the foot of my bed, purring softly while Dylan lay next to me, still sound asleep. I smiled and rolled over to him, relieved that he was still there.

  I decided not to wake him. I threw on my robe and went into the kitchen to start some coffee. I found a tube of cinnamon rolls in the fridge. As I peeled off the paper, it popped open, scaring me as usual. I hoped it hadn’t woken Dylan. I put the rolls in the oven and poured my coffee. I felt Dylan slowly wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck.

  “Good morning,” he said.

  I sighed with contentment. “Good morning.”

  I turned around and kissed him on the lips. “Did you sleep well?”

  “I did. You wore me out,” he said with a grin. “Lucky for you I still have a young body so I can keep up with you.”

  His comment made me feel both good and bad. I wasn’t sure if he realized it.

  He poured himself a cup of coffee while he looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know, this reminds me of the last day I saw my parents, my previous parents that is. They had gotten back together and were in the kitchen that morning just like this. I wonder how they’re doing.”

  “You should go find out.”

  “How?”

  I didn’t have an answer. “We’ll think of something.”

  “What are your new parents like? Wow…I just realized that you had to grow up all over again.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair. Unfortunately, he had already gotten dressed in his t-shirt and jeans.

  “Yeah, well, my new parents are cool. I got lucky. Who knows how many past lives we’ve had?”

  “It’s amazing.”

  “You’re am
azing,” he said, kissing my forehead.

  “We have a lot to catch up on.”

  “We certainly do,” he said as he pulled the belt on my robe. He knew that was not what I meant, but I was perfectly OK with delaying our conversation.

  41. Back to Life

  “Hey, Veronica!” I said, cell phone in hand while I rushed from my car to the gallery. I had forgotten that there would be nobody else to open it up Monday morning.

  “Where the hell have you been? I tried calling you all weekend!”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worried you like that. I was…really busy.”

  “Busy doing what?”

  “It’s a long story. We really need to talk.”

  “Does it involve Dylan?”

  “It does. You’re not going to believe it. Can you meet me for lunch today?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why don’t you meet me at my apartment so we can talk in private? I’ll probably cut out early today anyway.”

  “OK. I’ll meet you at noon. You sure everything’s alright?”

  “Everything’s perfect.”

  “So what’s going on?” she asked me as soon as she stepped into my apartment. She looked at the mess around her, including my burnt cinnamon rolls that I hadn’t bothered to clean up. “What were you doing all weekend?”

  “You want a drink?”

  “At noon?”

  “You might need one.”

  “OK. What the hell? Fix me a glass of Merlot. I brought us tuna steak and salads.”

  “Thanks.”

  I handed her a glass of wine and sat down on the sofa next to her.

  “So what’s going on with Dylan?” she asked impatiently.

  “I don’t know where to begin. Dylan…” I took a deep breath before I continued. “Dylan is Ethan.”

  “What?” She looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Ethan’s spirit is in Dylan.”

  “What?” she asked again with much more emotion. “How?”