Discount Diva (Zodiac Girls)

by Cathy Hopkins

  “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry…” Mr O started to say.

  “And you cry alone,” I finished for him and gave him a big smile.

  “Well done, Zodiac Girl,” he said.

  An astonished Chloe and Sonia watched from the side and I could see the envy in their eyes. They probably imagined I’d be blubbing in a corner somewhere because of them. Well I’m not, I thought, you don’t get rid of me that easily!

  Chapter Six

  Miniature people

  “That’s so cool,” said Megan after I’d shown her and Hannah my new phone while we were on the bus going to school on Monday morning. Both of them were well impressed but I still wasn’t sure that I wasn’t being pursued by the local nut jobs. Nessa had sent a text before breakfast. “Cm to Osbry 1 nght aftr skl, Nessa ***” it said. I noted the star symbols instead of kisses.

  Yeah right, I thought. Except she might have some creepy-crawly hitman waiting there to kidnap me and sell me to the slave trade in some intergalactic universe deep in space. It happens all the time on the telly.

  I didn’t really know what to think about the whole Zodiac thing even though Mr O had said that Nessa was okay. I wanted to believe him but then he might be King of the Bongo Beings and she his queen for all I knew. In the cold light of Sunday morning, I had thought it all over and decided that the whole deal sounded unreal. The whole evening had been extrordinary and I hadn’t exactly been my normal self either. But stars, planets, zodiacs? No thanks, way too out there for me. But the phone I’d been given was so cute that I couldn’t resist taking it into school. Georgie had said that she’d never seen one like it. It would be my chance to show something off for a change. Not that it worked very well as a phone. I had tried typing all my mate’s numbers into it but it wouldn’t take them. And it already had the names of a load of people I didn’t know listed in the directory.

  Hannah and Meg were dying to hear all about the dance on Saturday. I filled them in on most of it (not the bit about the dress though – I’d had to eat enough humble pie for one week) and told them all about the Zodiac thing and how I’d been given the phone and the necklace.

  “Wow, I wish I was a Zodiac Girl,” said Megan. “It sounds great. Maybe we can try the site at lunch-time in the library and see if I’m one too.”

  “We can,” I said, “but from what I could make out from the guy who runs the cyber café, there is only one a month. And I don’t think everyone gets to be a Zodiac Girl.”

  “So what makes you one then?” asked Megan.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t really had a chance to ask much about it. Nessa, she’s the lady I told you about who said that she’s my guardian, she said something about there being ten planets all here in human form. But don’t you think that sounds mad? I mean, they might be a bunch of loony petunies for all I know…”

  “Nah,” said Megan. “I don’t think it sounds that weird. It’s not like they’ve asked you to do anything dodgy like get into a car with them or lured you to an isolated spot. You’re not stupid. You know the rules about strangers and what have they done? They’ve given you pressies. I think they sound like angels or fairies.”

  I should have known that she’d react like that.

  “Give us another look at the phone then,” said Hannah.

  I passed her the phone and she and Meg were well impressed.

  “Brill, it’s a camera phone,” said Megan and she held it up to take some pictures. “Least I think it is…”

  I hadn’t realized that it could take pics as I’m not as techno-savvy as her and Hannah.

  “Really?” I said. “Let’s see.”

  But Hannah was busy with it. “I can’t get it to take pics but oh look,” she said as she pressed a button. “There are already some shots on here. Wow. Who are this lot?”

  The three of us leant in so that we could all see.

  “And there’s a text waiting for you,” said Megan who pressed another button then began to read. “Hi. You seemed unsure about everything on Saturday. Here are the guys I told you about. Hope we can be of some help in your month as Zodiac Girl, Nessa, kiss, kiss, although she’s put stars not crosses. Wow. It’s as if she read your mind and knew that you were worried.”

  “Or maybe she’s done this before and coaxed innocent young girls…” I began.

  “Oh chill out, Tori,” said Hannah. “You watch too many horror films. Let’s have a look at what’s on there.”

  We leant in again. Megan pressed a button and a video film began to play on the tiny screen. First there was a shot of Nessa with a big smile on her face, standing in what looked like a florist shop as there were huge vases of flowers all around her. She held up her hands and tiny pale pink heart shaped flowers began to fall like cherry blossom in spring.

  “Wow. She’s really beautiful,” said Megan. “Like a fairy princess.”

  “And look,” said Hannah, “the flowers are forming words on the wooden floor in front of her. What are they saying?”

  “Nessa for Venus,” I read.

  “That’s so pretty,” said Megan, “and look here comes another one.”

  This time, it was Mr O who stepped into the screen. He was dressed in white and was in a field of bright yellow sunflowers.

  Megan did a wolf whistle causing a few people on the bus to turn around and stare at us.

  “He’s so handsome,” said Hannah. “That has to be your Mr O right?”

  I nodded.

  “I think I’ve seen him in a movie,” Hannah continued, “and look, the sunflower petals are also making words, Sonny for the sun. Wow! Like how have they done that?”

  Megan put her hand on her heart. “Magic,” she sighed. “I knew it existed. I just knew it.”

  “Oh get real, dozo,” I said. “It’s technology. They can do anything with it these days for business promotions, advertising or whatever. I mean, look at the Harry Potter movies. You don’t really think that Hagrid the giant is really that size, do you?”

  Megan stuck her tongue out at me.

  “Don’t like the look of this one,” said Hannah as the screen dimmed and the city scene was replaced by the interior of a classroom with a blackboard. A very stern-looking man with white hair and a beard at a desk came into view. He peered over his glasses at us and looked like he was very annoyed to be there. He stood up and wrote in squeaky chalk on the blackboard: Dr Cronus. Saturn. Then he stomped off.

  “He was at the ball on Saturday,” I said. “He spoke to Nessa at one point. In fact, she said something to me about Saturn. Something about him being the one that teaches lessons or something.”

  Megan shivered. “He looks very strict,” she said. “I wouldn’t want him as my guardian. What sign does Saturn rule?”

  “Don’t know,” I replied.

  “You could ask Nessa afterwards,” said Megan. “She’s bound to know.”

  The scene on the phone screen was changing again. This time it was to a dark basement with deep, wine-red walls, burgundy, velvet drapes and lit candles in a huge silver candelabra around what looked like a long wooden coffee table.

  “Bit spooky,” said Hannah.

  “I like it,” said Megan. “Very Goth chic. Omigod, the table’s a coffin!”

  “And it’s opening!” cried Megan. “I don’t like it!”

  The coffin was indeed opening. Someone was in there! And whoever it was, was coming out! A man. First he sat up then stood and stepped out of the coffin. He looked middle-aged with a dark ponytail and was wearing a dark velvet suit and had a burgundy scarf (that matched the drapes) around his neck.

  “Matching accessories. Cool,” I commented.

  Megan had her hands over her eyes. “Can’t look, can’t look,” she said.

  “It’s a man, Meg” I said as I watched the screen. “He looks okay. Not scary.”

  He wasn’t spooky dooky looking at all and soon Megan was watching with Hannah and I again. He had a long face and a big nose and there was something abo
ut him that looked interesting, like you could have a jolly good conversation with him about all sorts of things. He held out a fisted hand then opened it to show that there on his palm was a caterpillar. The man blew on it and it became a chrysalis and then a butterfly. He gave a deep bow and from behind him and behind the drapes came hundreds of butterflies flying round his head making a butterfly crown in the air and then they flew onto the wall to make the words PJ Vlasaova. Pluto. Another bow, a flourish of his hand and he was gone.

  “Way to go Pluto,” said Hannah. “Now he was cool.”

  Back on the screen, the location changed to a seascape. A beach with the waves from the ocean crashing in, leaving lace patterns on the shore as they went out again. A hippie-looking lady danced (like my mum when she’s had a drink at Christmas) into view. Looking at her, I began to wonder if Megan was right and there were such beings as magical creatures. She looked like a water nymph and was dressed in pale blues and greens and had silver white hair right down her back. As she danced, she wrote on the sand with a big stick. When she’d finished, she danced off along the beach, arms swaying and on the sand we could read the words: Selene Luna. Moon child.

  Megan’s eyes were shining. “If she’s not magic I don’t know who is!”

  “Yeah,” said Hannah. “I so have to get one of these phones.”

  “It’s not the phone. They’re fairies,” Megan enthused. “I’m sure they are. I knew they existed. I knew it.”

  “They’re not fairies,” I said. “They’re planets.”

  Hannah and Megan looked at me with surprise.

  “I thought you didn’t believe what Nessa had said,” said Megan. “You said you thought they were a bunch of nutters. Well they don’t look like nutters to me. They look wonderful.”

  “I… I… oh…” I had surprised myself by saying so definitely that they were planets not fairies. Maybe I was being brainwashed!

  “Is there anyone else on there?” said Megan and began counting on her fingers. “How many have we seen? Venus, the Sun…”

  “Pluto, Saturn, the moon,” Hannah continued. “That’s only five. Didn’t you say that there were ten?”

  I nodded. I had looked them up in Will’s encyclopaedia last night. “Uranus, Neptune, Jupiter, Mars and Mercury.”

  “Let’s see, let’s see,” said Hannah.

  At that moment, Megan glanced out of the window then got up quickly. “Oops! Come on. Our stop,” she said.

  “Omigod!” I exclaimed when I saw where we were. Megan was right. We’d been so immersed in the camera phone that we hadn’t noticed that we’d reached the school stop already.

  The bell for assembly was ringing loud and clear as we ran for the school gates. No time to check out the other planet people, I thought as I stuffed my phone into my rucksack. I couldn’t wait to see them. Nessa had so come up trumps with her video film and my suspicion was fading again. The main feeling I had now was one of excitement.

  Chapter Seven

  More planets!

  At break, Hannah and Georgie had to go and do library duty so Megan and I headed out into the playground. It was a lovely sunny day so we made our way over to the nearest empty bench and rolled up our sleeves ready to soak up the sun.

  “I wonder which birth sign the sun is guardian for?” Megan mused as she got an apple out of her bag and started munching it.

  “I’ll find out,” I said and got out my phone and quickly texted a message to Nessa asking which planet looked after which birth sign.

  “Do you think maybe that they all hang out in Osbury?” asked Megan as we waited for Nessa to reply.

  “Why would they?” I asked.

  “Maybe it’s like Stonehenge or Glastonbury or one of those places, you know, a sort of sacred site. That would make sense, like some places just have a good vibe and Osbury definitely does. I always like going there and you said that Nessa told you that the guy with the computer shop is one of the planet people.”

  “Uri. Yeah maybe,” I said. “Nessa said that they are ten planets walking round in human form so I guess they have to hang out somewhere, but… how weird does this all sound?”

  Megan shrugged again. “I guess it does sound odd but who really knows who anyone is or where we’ve come from or what it’s really all about? Maybe being a Zodiac Girl is magic.”

  “For you maybe, but you know I don’t believe in magic the way you do, Meg.”

  “Yes you do,” she said. “You just have to open your mind to it. Magic doesn’t have to be weird. It’s all around us. Everywhere. We live with it every day.”

  “Yeah right,” I said. “Megan’s off in la-la land again.”

  “No, really, Tori,” she said then she picked a pip from her apple core. “Like this, this is magic.”

  I patted her on the head. “Megan, my lovely, mad mate. Are you on drugs? I hate to upset you but that there is the pip from an apple.”

  “Ah yes. Tiny isn’t it? Looks like nothing, but plant it in the ground and it will grow and grow, big, bigger than us. It will turn into a tree. A tree that bears fruit and has leaves and flowers.” She held the pip up in the air. “And can you see any of that now? No. It’s a pip. An insignificant pip but from it, all that can come. No that’s pretty magical isn’t it?”

  I hadn’t thought about it like that before but the way she’d put it, I thought, Wow! Actually that is magical and I’ve never questioned trees or flowers growing from nothing as being weird.

  “I guess. But that’s nature. That’s different. These tiny people in the phone and Nessa, what’s that all really about, oh small-but-wise-one? I’ve been trying to make sense of it all morning. Like, is it some kind of astrology club and they’re all members? See Megan, I was worried that Nessa might be an escaped lunatic. In fact this morning, I had decided that I didn’t want anything to do with them but then… oh. I don’t know what to think.”

  “Don’t reject them,” said Megan. “I think there’s something special about them. There’s much more to them than those people who dress up like their favourite characters from a film or a book or history. More than that. I think that you should trust them and believe Nessa when she says that they’re here to help. Give me your phone again and I’ll see if there are any more of them on there.”

  I gave her the phone and she pressed whatever she had done earlier on the bus while I looked over her shoulder.

  The picture of a deli window filled the screen.

  “There’s one!” said Megan.

  A miniature man with a very large tummy appeared from inside the shop and waved as if he could see us. He had a navy and white striped apron on and he was grinning. He pointed at a display of fabulous-looking cakes in the window and the screen zoomed in on them for a close up. One of them was covered in white icing and had words written in bright blue on it: Joe for Jupiter, it read.

  “Neat,” said Megan. “And those cakes look yummy scrummy.”

  Suddenly the screen was replaced by shiny blue curtains which opened to reveal Uri. He was on a stage and wearing the same electric blue jump suit I’d seen him in, but this time he was pedalling a unicycle around in circles and holding a bright blue umbrella in the air. With a flourish of his hand, the air filled with snow. Heavy snow coming down leaving a blanket on the ground. With one hand, he pointed at the snow and the words: Uri for Uranus appeared as if someone had written them with a stick.

  “He’s the guy who runs the computer shop,” I said. “Uri.”

  “Magic,” Megan breathed happily. “I sooo wish I was a Zodiac Girl. I wonder who my guardian would be. Let’s see if Nessa has replied to your text.”

  At that moment, the phone beeped that there was a message.

  “You’re Pisces right?” I asked.

  Megan nodded and looked at the text. “Nessa’s replied to your question,” she said then read the message. “‘Aries is ruled by Mars. Taurus by Venus, Gemini by Mercury, Cancer by the moon, Leo the sun, Virgo Mercury, er… Libra Venus, Scorpio Pluto,
Sagittarius Jupiter, Capricorn Saturn, Aquarius Uranus and Pisces Neptune.’ So that’s me, Neptune would be mine.”

  “Let’s call Nessa. And ask where he is.”

  Megan quickly dialled the number for Nessa then handed me the phone.

  “Hey, Tori,” said Nessa’s voice. “Nice to ’ear from you.”

  “Er… hello. I’m here with my mate Megan and she’s a Pisces and she wanted to know where and who Neptune is.”

  “No prob, lovey. He runs the fish and chip shop in Osbury,” she said so I quickly relayed this information on to Megan.

  “No way!” she exclaimed. “Ask about Aries. And Mars. Hannah’s Aries.”

  “And what about Mars?” I asked Nessa.

  “Mario Ares. ’E’s a soldier. ’E teaches self-defence and martial arts in a church hall in Osbury. And before you ask, I run the beauty salon, also in Osbury.”

  “You mean Pentangles?” I asked.

  “Yeah. That’s the one.”

  “It was on the leaflet that you gave me.”

  “I ’ad to make sure we met one way or another.”

  “And will I meet all the planets? Are they all on my phone?”

  “Not all of them,” she replied. “Zodiac Girls meet some of them during their time. The ones that are predominant in your chart. Okay, Got to go. Laters. Call me if you need.”

  “Thanks. Laters.”

  I clicked the phone shut and looked at Megan. “You were right. Osbury. There are loads of them in Osbury.”

  Megan gave me a smug look. “I know what I’m talking about more than people realize,” she said.

  I nodded. Maybe she did. Maybe I had dismissed her fairy stories and her theories about magic too easily.

  By the time the bell went, I felt like someone had put a spoon in my brain and given it a good stir! I felt like a whole new world of people and possibilities had been opened up to me and it was really making me rethink my take on things. Maybe nothing was as it seemed and nobody who they appeared to be. I was Tori Taylor but I was also Zodiac Girl. Nessa ran a beauty salon but she was also a planet. Hah! Whatever it all meant, magic or madness, I had a feeling that my life was about to get a whole lot better.