All Things Considered

by Debbie Macomber

  Betty was round and motherly. More round than Judd remembered, which caused him to grin. She was the only female influence he’d had in his youth and she’d been able to give him only minimal attention since Stuart had claimed he didn’t want Judd growing up to be a sissy. Nonetheless, Betty had faced her employer’s wrath on many occasions to take Judd’s side. She’d been the one to urge him to leave as a young high school graduate, although he’d seen the sheen of tears in her eyes when she told him it would be better if he left the Circle M and Stuart.

  Judd had already accepted that he would never be able to get along with his father. Having Betty and Jim recognize the fact and advise him to leave had been the encouragement he’d needed to pack his bags and head out. Over the years he’d sent both the Petermans money for their birthdays and Christmas. Not once had he ever imagined them away from the ranch. They were as much a part of the Circle M as the land itself. His father must have lost something mentally to send the Petermans away so callously.

  “So it isn’t money?” Judd continued.

  “Not from what we can see,” Jim answered with a soft snort. “In fact, we got the best beef prices in years.”

  “Then why?”

  “Don’t rightly know.” Jim paused and took a sip from the side of the mug, making a light slurping sound. “He had me sell off the best part of the herd. Fences are down all over, but he said he didn’t want me to do any repairs. From talk in town, he’d got himself a temporary ranch hand, but from what I can see, he’s not doing much good.”

  “He hasn’t been himself for months,” Betty added, her gaze drifting down. “He hasn’t eaten much the last few months, either, although I tried to tempt him with his favorite meals.”

  “He’s been ill, but he didn’t tell me much about it,” Judd told them, looking for some confirmation in their gazes. He’d come for more than one reason. He wanted to learn what the Petermans could tell him about Stuart’s health. Although his father was thin and frail-looking, he looked to be in better shape than Judd had expected.

  “Is that why you’ve come?” Jim asked.

  “He wrote and asked me to bring Jenny.”

  Jim and Betty’s gazes shot toward each other: Forty years of marriage made words unnecessary. A small smile brought dimples into Betty’s round cheeks, and Jim nodded knowingly.

  “Have you talked to his doctor?” Betty asked, looking concerned now.

  “Not yet.” But Judd had already called the small medical center in town and planned on stopping by there when he’d finished with Jim and Betty. He wanted to talk to Doc Simpson, who had been the family physician for as long as Judd could remember.

  “He didn’t say anything to us about any medical problem, but he hasn’t been himself for months,” Jim said.

  Judd took a drink of coffee. “How soon can you two move back?” Seeing the Circle M in such a run-down condition had affected him nearly as much as seeing his father leaning against the railing on the porch, looking fragile and sickly. “In addition to some fences, we’re going to rebuild the herd.”

  “Hot dog!” Jim slapped his hand against his jean-clad thigh and grinned like a twenty-year-old.

  “Jim doesn’t hanker much for city life,” Betty said, her brown eyes alight. “Can’t say that I do, either.”

  “My wife and daughter are at the house now.”

  “I’ll be pleased to meet them.” Both of the Petermans looked as if they’d dropped ten years in the fifteen-minute visit. “I suppose the house was a disaster.”

  “Worse.” Judd thought of the spotless kitchen Betty had always insisted upon and knew the housekeeper would have cringed at the sight of week-old dishes piled high in the sink. Knowing Lanni, she’d never be able to sit idle. He’d bet a month’s wages that she’d torn into the kitchen the instant he was out the door. If there’d been any sensible way to stop her, he would have.

  “You staying?”

  Judd hesitated. “For now.” What Stuart’s doctor had to say would determine the length of his visit. For the first time in his life, Stuart needed his son. A weak voice in the back of his head urged Judd to do what he could to make his father comfortable and then move on. But he couldn’t. Judd knew in his heart that no matter how wide the rift between him and Stuart, he wouldn’t desert his father now. He’d stick by Stuart until the end. Lanni would go and take Jenny with her. He couldn’t hold them for any more than two weeks. Lanni had another life in Seattle now. He didn’t like to think about her and Jenny leaving, but recognized that eventually he’d need to let them go. He couldn’t ask anything more of Lanni than what he had already.

  * * *

  —

  Humming softly as she worked, Lanni ran water into the kitchen sink. She was grateful Judd had left. He would have been furious, had he seen her working so hard in the kitchen. Fine. She’d do it when he wasn’t around to stop her. He didn’t honestly expect her to sit down and thumb through a magazine when so much needed to be done? The house was a disaster and an unhealthy environment for a man in ill health.

  A large roast was cooking in the oven and the smell of simmering meat, potatoes, and onions permeated the large kitchen.

  Jenny was in the living room, sitting on her grandfather’s lap while he read to her from a children’s book. The sight of the two of them warmed Lanni’s heart. Stuart was so loving and patient with the child. The last time she’d checked on them, she’d discovered Jenny asleep, cuddled in his arms, and Stuart snoring softly.

  Washing the last of the lunch dishes, Lanni paused to look around. Like everything else in the house, the kitchen was grossly outdated. The linoleum was cracked and peeling up at the corners, as was the dull red countertop. The stove had a cantankerous streak and the oven was another matter entirely. Lanni had viewed the kitchen as a challenge, and after working only one afternoon in it, she was ready to surrender. What she wouldn’t have given for a microwave! She could deal with escrow loans, mortgage companies, and feisty appraisers, but not this nineteenth-century kitchen.

  The back door swung open as Judd stepped inside, giving her a knowing look. For a moment it seemed as though he wanted to argue with her, but he changed his mind. He knew her well enough to realize she couldn’t leave the place in such a mess.

  “Hi.” She smiled at him and pressed her finger to her lips, indicating that he should be quiet. She pointed in the direction of Jenny and Stuart in the other room. “They’re asleep.” She hoped that the need for quiet would quell his objection to her streak of domestic integrity.

  If the clean kitchen hadn’t been a surprise, then viewing his daughter in Stuart’s arms was. His father’s gaunt face was relaxed in sleep. Peaceful. Serene. Judd couldn’t ever recall seeing his father so tranquil—he’d run on nervous energy most of his life, demanding more of himself than he did from others.

  Judd pulled out a kitchen chair and Lanni brought him a bowl of hot tomato soup and a thick turkey sandwich she’d made earlier.

  He was a little amazed at her thoughtfulness, although he realized that he shouldn’t be. “I saw the Petermans.”

  “Good.”

  “They’re moving back tomorrow.”

  “Won’t your father be upset?”

  “I don’t see why. I’m paying their wages.”

  Lanni nodded and hid a grin. Over the years, Judd must have learned how to get around his father, sometimes to his own detriment. “What did the doctor have to say?”

  Judd’s expression changed to a dark scowl as he slowly shook his head. He lowered the sandwich to the plate. “Not much.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Dad’s been in a couple of times with stomach ailments. But as far as Doc Simpson knows, Stuart isn’t anywhere close to dying.”

  “He could have gone to another doctor.”

  “Maybe, but that’s doubtful. The neares
t medical facility of any worth is in Miles City, and that’s more than a hundred miles. It’s unlikely that Dad would go that far.”

  “It’s obvious that he’s been ill.” Just looking at Stuart was proof enough. “It has to be more than stomach ailments.”

  “Apparently, he has an ulcer.”

  “An ulcer?”

  “Other than that, Doc claims Dad’s in perfect health.”

  Lanni pulled out the chair across from Judd and sat. She didn’t know what to think. Stuart had claimed to be dying, but from the sound of what Judd had just learned, he was a fair distance from the grave.

  “Why do you think he sent for you?”

  “Not me,” Judd corrected, remembering the bitterness in his father’s greeting. “If you recall, he asked to see Jenny.”

  “He wanted you to bring her.”

  Judd took another bite of the turkey sandwich, chewing thoughtfully before speaking. He’d been a sentimental fool to believe Stuart wanted him home. From birth, his father had had little use for him. “I have the feeling this is all an elaborate charade.”

  “I can’t believe that.” Lanni hadn’t meant to take Stuart’s side, but she honestly felt that something must be terribly wrong with Judd’s father for him to have sent for Judd and Jenny.

  “Stuart may believe he’s dying, but he’s not,” Judd murmured.

  “Maybe the doctor made it sound less serious than it actually is.”

  Judd leaned back in the chair and shook his head. “I can’t believe Doc Simpson would do that. No,” he stated emphatically. “Doc said that Dad needed to watch his diet, but with the medication he gave him and a few dietary restrictions, Dad should be feeling great.” He pushed the lunch plate aside. “I think the problem may be psychological. Dad hasn’t been sick a day in his life. He can’t tolerate it in others, let alone himself. Doc seems to believe that with his stomach causing him a fair amount of pain, Dad might believe that his number is coming up.”

  Lanni watched as Judd frowned thoughtfully. “What are you going to do?” The strain of being around his father was already exacting its toll on Judd. It seemed that every time Stuart opened his mouth, he made some comment about Judd’s lack of ambition. Lanni disagreed—Judd had plenty of drive; she’d never known a man who worked harder than Judd. From what he’d told her, Stuart had always wanted Judd to be an attorney or a doctor. Something more than the rancher he was, and from Judd’s teens, Stuart had pushed his son toward college and a professional career. It hadn’t worked, and Judd had left home soon after graduating from high school. Twice since they’d arrived, Lanni had to stop herself from defending Judd to his father. She didn’t like being put in that position and had remained silent. In some ways she felt Stuart was waiting for her to intervene, but she refused to get caught in the battle between father and son.

  Judd stood, carrying his plate and bowl to the sink and dumping his leftovers into the compost pile. “Don’t wait on dinner for me.”

  An icy chill shivered up her back and her hand knotted into a tight fist as dread filled her. So often when he left, Judd didn’t bother to tell her where he was going or when he’d return. In light of the comment he’d made about her suffocating him, Lanni refused to ask him now. He knew her feelings and chose to ignore them.

  Judd watched the anger play across her features and recognized what was troubling her. He hesitated before adding, “Jim claims there’s a lot of fence down. I want to check it out.”

  Lanni’s gaze shot to his, knowing he was making an effort. “Will you be riding a horse?”

  The smile curving his lips was evidence of his poorly disguised amusement. “I’m taking the pickup; there’s a lot of range out there. The Ford’s parked on the other side of the barn.” The Petermans’ house was between the huge shed and the main house and blocked her view.

  Lanni was pleased that the elderly couple were returning, but she wondered how Stuart would react to the news. It would be up to Judd to tell him, not Lanni. With other things on her mind, that was one topic she didn’t want to wade into with Judd’s father. As it was, their conversations were stilted and often one-sided. Lanni did the best she could to carry any dialogue, but Stuart made it nearly impossible, answering in clipped one-word sentences.

  The only subject that he became animated on was Jenny. From the moment he’d seen the child, something had come over him. His harsh features had smoothed into an almost smile and his eyes had brightened. The unconcealed love he felt for Jenny transformed him into a different person.

  Stuart couldn’t seem to get enough of the child. He talked to her, read her stories, and listened to her with all the attention of the doting grandfather he was. Lanni couldn’t understand how he could be so hard on his only child and so loving to his granddaughter. Jenny’s reaction to Stuart was one filled with the joy of discovery, while Stuart’s love was returned a hundredfold and more. Lanni was astonished. For a man who had shown precious little patience in his life, he was a virtual saint with his granddaughter.

  * * *

  —

  Their first night in the house proved to be eventful. Lanni woke around midnight, when the house was peaceful and still. She rolled onto her back and pushed the hair off her forehead and stared sightlessly into the darkness. One minute she’d been asleep and the next she was wide awake. She blinked twice, and wondered at the reason for her sudden restlessness. The faint sound of the television drifted up from downstairs, and, thinking Judd had returned and was unwinding with a late-night talk show, Lanni threw off the covers and climbed out of bed.

  She’d just finished tying the sash to her robe when she stepped off the bottom stair. She did an admirable job of disguising her disappointment when she discovered it wasn’t Judd who was awake, but Stuart.

  He glanced at her and then back at the television screen.

  “Is Judd back yet?” she asked.

  “He’s home. I thought he was in bed with you.” The blank face strayed momentarily from the television to Lanni.

  “You know we’re separated.” Lanni sighed and moved into the kitchen, unwilling to discuss the subject further. Stuart flicked the television controller, stood, and followed her. Doing her best to ignore him, Lanni took a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and turned, nearly colliding with the older man.

  Reluctantly, he stepped aside. “You’d know when Judd got home if you were sleeping with him the way a wife should. Seems to me it would solve a whole lot of problems if you two shared a bed again.”

  Lanni did her best to pretend she hadn’t heard him.

  “I bet you laid awake half the night waiting for Judd.”

  Purposely turning away from him, Lanni poured the milk into the glass and returned the carton to the refrigerator. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Stuart, but it’s two years too late. The marriage is over.”

  “I don’t believe that,” her father-in-law said, following her from one side of the kitchen to the next.

  Lanni took a large swallow of the milk, refusing to discuss her private life with her father-in-law.

  “I know Judd hasn’t been a good husband to you in the past, but he’ll change once he starts managing the ranch.”

  Lanni released a frustrated breath. “The minute we arrived, you told Judd he’d never get this land. Remember?”

  Stuart chuckled. “Don’t you recognize reverse psychology when you hear it, girl? Judd’s been the same all his life. I say one thing and the blasted fool does just the opposite. I decided it was time I got smart. He wants the ranch now because I told him he could never have it. Only”—he hesitated, studying Lanni hard—“he won’t stay long unless you’re here.”

  “I’ve got news for you,” Lanni informed him sadly, her throat muscles constricting with the pain of reality. “Whether I’m here or not will make little difference with Judd.”

 
“I don’t believe that.”

  Lanni carried the empty milk glass to the sink. It wouldn’t do any good to argue with Judd’s father. It was obvious that the old man had hoped she and Judd would resolve their differences and remain on the ranch. What a strange man Stuart Matthiessen was. He berated his son in one breath and sought to save his son’s marriage in the other. “What’s between Judd and me is none of your business.”

  “Maybe not, but you got a child to consider.”

  Lanni couldn’t take any more. It was one thing to have the man treat Judd the way he did, but another for him to run interference in her life. “While we’re on the subject of Judd, I want one thing understood.”

  Stuart’s mouth snapped shut. “What?”

  “Use all the reverse psychology you want, but if you utter one unkind, untruthful word about my husband in front of Jenny, the two of us will leave so fast it’ll make your head spin. I mean that, Stuart. Judd is Jenny’s father and I won’t have you treat him disrespectfully when Jenny is around to witness it. Do you understand?”

  Stuart blanched and cleared his throat. “Yes.”

  “Thank you for that.” She brushed past him on her way out the door and marched up the stairs. When she reached the top, Lanni discovered that she was trembling. Her hands were bunched into tight fists as the anger fermented within her. She wanted to shake Judd’s father for his stubborn pride. He honestly seemed to believe that if she and Jenny remained on the ranch, Judd would stay as well. Her love, their daughter, and the home she’d created hadn’t been enough to hold him once. She had nothing else to offer him a second time.

  “That was quite a little speech.” Judd leaned against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his bare chest, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “The next time I need a defender of truth and justice, can I call on you?”

  “He infuriates me.” Lanni still couldn’t believe the gall of her father-in-law. He’d puzzled her the first time they’d met and even more so now.