The Secret Hours

by Santa Montefiore

  ‘Miss Arethusa,’ exclaimed Mr O’Driscoll in a panic. Mr O’Driscoll was a big, burly man with a thick neck, wide shoulders and a barrel chest. He hurried up the stairs to catch her as she lost her footing and began to fall.

  ‘I’m quite all right,’ she protested weakly, but he lifted her into his arms and carried her down the stairs. Her eyes searched for Jonas but all she saw were flustered housemaids and Mrs Harrington the housekeeper, fussing over her as if she were made of porcelain. ‘Really, I just felt a little dizzy. I’m well now. Thank you,’ she said, anxiously trying to see past them. But Mrs Harrington insisted she come into her office and sit down while one of the housemaids scampered off to get her a glass of water and another to make her a cup of tea. Arethusa was desperate to see Jonas, but it was impossible to leave Mrs Harrington’s office without being impolite, or without giving herself away. Of course, she now realized that Jonas and George were her mother’s surprise, put forward by Augusta. She couldn’t believe her good fortune. It was an incredibly good idea of her mother’s. The Madison brothers were a sensation. They had been all over the British press when they had performed in London and taught the Prince of Wales to play the banjo. Everyone would be very impressed by this exotic pair of entertainers. But Arethusa’s head now throbbed with ways she could contrive to get Jonas on his own. She knew the castle grounds better than anyone. If she could just lure him into one of the greenhouses . . .

  By the time she managed to extricate herself Jonas and George had gone. It didn’t matter. She knew they were in the castle, somewhere, and she was determined to find them. Her excitement mounted as she made her way back up the servants’ stairs while the housemaids whispered that it had been the sight of the two exotic men from America that had caused her to faint.

  She was crossing the hall when she bumped into her mother. ‘Darling, you must start getting ready. I need you to be dressed and on parade by half past six.’

  ‘I know what the surprise is,’ said Arethusa, grinning broadly.

  Adeline sighed but her smile was indulgent. ‘I suppose you’ve been downstairs, have you, Tussy?’

  ‘I saw them in the corridor. The Madison brothers. I think they are a very good choice, Mama.’

  ‘I take no credit. Augusta suggested it. They’re going to sing five songs and dance as well.’

  ‘They’re wonderful dancers,’ said Arethusa enthusiastically. ‘Where are they? I’d very much like to say hello. Then I’ll go and dress, I promise.’

  ‘Very well, but make it quick. They’re in the ballroom, rehearsing.’

  Arethusa hurried off to the ballroom. The place was full of servants, bustling about putting the finishing touches to the room. Arethusa didn’t notice the vast displays of flowers, heaped into stone urns and cascading from tall structures to look like floral waterfalls, or the candles arranged on every surface ready to blaze through the summer night. She didn’t even smell the heady scents of lily and rose. All she noticed was Jonas on the stage which had been erected at the far end of the room, and he eclipsed everything around him.

  ‘So, you are Mama’s surprise,’ she said, standing before him at last. He turned and smiled at her, and in his smile she saw the same tenderness she had seen the night she played for the Duchess’s friends.

  ‘How lovely to see you again, Miss Deverill,’ he said and Arethusa realized that words were superfluous. It didn’t matter what they said. They could have recited a recipe for lemon cake for all she cared and the result would have been the same: words, syllables, sounds that meant nothing. The light in their eyes communicated everything they wanted to say.

  It would have been polite for George to have greeted her as well, but he hung back, toying with his instrument and flicking through a dog-eared music score, as if tactfully leaving them alone to talk.

  ‘I hoped I would see you here.’ Jonas spoke in a low voice, his eyes flicking momentarily about the room to make sure they were not overheard.

  ‘I never thought I’d see you again,’ Arethusa replied. ‘Only this morning I had resolved not to think of you anymore. Yet here you are . . .’

  ‘It is as if Fate intervened.’

  ‘Yes. A clear message not to give up,’ she said firmly.

  ‘But you know it’s impossible, Miss Deverill.’

  ‘Tussy. Call me Tussy,’ she said, angry suddenly that Fate should bring him to her home only for him to tell her their love was impossible. ‘Nothing is impossible if you want it enough,’ she said, fighting the ache in her throat.

  Jonas smiled, this time sadly. ‘I admire your courage, Tussy. But I know the world better than you do and there is no place for us in it.’

  ‘The world is a big place. There has to be somewhere,’ she insisted, the ache intensifying with the onset of tears. ‘There has to be—’

  ‘Tussy.’ It was Charlotte, appearing in the frame of the big double doors at the far end of the ballroom behind her.

  Arethusa stiffened her jaw and blinked back her tears. ‘I look forward to watching you perform,’ she said tightly, pulling back her shoulders and assuming an appropriately formal air. Then she added, ‘I hope we get the chance to speak later because I’d like to tell you how I’ve been practising the banjo. Music is a language that speaks to everybody, no matter where they come from. When I play, I believe in miracles.’

  Charlotte accompanied Arethusa to her bedroom and helped her prepare for the ball. The governess noticed that she was very pink in the face and that her eyes were strangely burning, and worried she might be coming down with a fever. ‘I feel very well,’ Arethusa told her crisply when Charlotte voiced her concern. ‘I’ve just been on my feet all day running around for Mama. I’m sure a bath will restore me.’

  The servants filled her tub with hot water brought up in big cans from the kitchens and Arethusa lay back and closed her eyes. She sighed heavily. She should be thrilled that Jonas was in the castle. Having thought she would never see him again, this extraordinary twist of fate had brought him right into her home. And yet, she wasn’t thrilled. She had suffered and just begun to get over her suffering. She’d made a resolution not to think about him and, after her tryst with Dermot, she had finally accepted her lot. Now he was here, the pain which had begun to settle was being dredged up all over again to hurt her anew, and the longing and pining would resume, more intense than before. Jonas was right, of course, there was no place on earth that would accept them as a couple. It embittered her to think that the world wasn’t big enough for them, that prejudice would follow them wherever they went.

  Eily helped her into one of the ball dresses Augusta had had made at her London tailor’s. It was bright blue silk, trimmed with yellow-gold, and had a bustle, which, much to Augusta’s disapproval, accentuated the bounce in her walk. Arethusa had not allowed Eily to do her hair; the young maid was clumsy and had no gift for styling. Instead, she borrowed Becky, her mother’s briskly efficient maid, who crimped it with a hot iron and put it up, adorning it with ribbons and blue flowers from the garden. Her grandmother had lent her a suite of sapphires, which had been passed down the generations on her side of the family. ‘You’re not a child anymore,’ she said to Arethusa. ‘You’ve been presented at Court and you’re engaged to be married. You should now sparkle like a lady.’ Elizabeth scrunched up her nose and added under her breath, ‘And sizzle like a Deverill.’

  Arethusa could only think of Jonas and how she was going to contrive to see him. She found out from O’Flynn that he and his brother were staying in the Inn at Ballinakelly. She’d rather hoped her mother might have arranged for them to stay in the stable block, or even in the castle attic. There were plenty of rooms. But she had not thought to do so. They were due to leave the following day at dawn. This did not give her much time.

  Arethusa stood on the lawn with her family, greeting guests as they arrived. While she remained stuck there, doing her duty, her anxiety intensified. Every moment away from Jonas was a moment lost. What if she didn’t get to
see him alone after all? What if it was impossible to arrange? Tonight was perhaps the last time she would ever lay eyes on him. After tonight there would be no other opportunity. He would go back to America or continue touring the world, and she would have to get on with the life she was born to lead. That was the way it was. That was the way the world worked.

  Arethusa was overwhelmed by her desire to see him. Desperate to tell him how she felt. To tell him plainly and candidly. To lay bare her heart without restraint. She yearned to hold him, to kiss him, to feel the solidity of his body against her hands and to emboss it on her memory so that she would carry it inside her always, for as long as she lived. But what if the opportunity to tell him slipped through her fingers? She knew it would never come round again.

  As the guests arrived Arethusa greeted them with serenity and grace, extending her gloved hand, smiling with charm and remembering everyone’s name, yet inside, her stomach was tightening with panic. When Ronald arrived (he was one of the first) her panic deepened; she’d forgotten all about Ronald. ‘My darling Tussy,’ he said, taking in the milky-white skin of her décolletage and the pretty curve of her neck as if they already belonged to him. ‘You look beautiful tonight, like a goddess. You outshine all the other ladies, you really do.’

  Trying not to look surprised, she allowed him to take her hand. ‘Thank you, Ronald.’

  ‘And I, the luckiest man in the world to have secured my future with you.’ The word ‘future’ had a sharp edge to it and Arethusa felt grazed. ‘I wish it were May and we were already married. The waiting is excruciating.’ He smiled sympathetically, taking it for granted that she felt the same frustration. He patted her hand. ‘But we must both be patient.’

  Arethusa would have laughed had she not been so desperately unhappy. ‘I can be patient,’ she replied tersely.

  ‘That’s my girl,’ he said, putting her hand to his lips and kissing it. ‘I will return to you once you have finished doing your duty.’ Arethusa could only nod in agreement. Where was Jonas?

  She finally saw him when the Madison Minstrels performed for the guests after dinner in the ballroom. She was escorted in by Ronald, who had barely left her side all evening for he had been seated beside her at the dinner table. In the golden glow of hundreds of candles, she watched them sing their songs and dance lightly across the stage as they had done at the Duchess of Sutcliffe’s ball and she felt a searing sense of impending loss. Here he was, so close, and yet she couldn’t speak to him, let alone touch him. Was this what her future was going to be like? Stuck to Ronald’s side and unable to breathe?

  Arethusa looked around her at the faces of the guests, who beamed with pleasure at the novelty of these two black entertainers from America, and knew that her mother would be pleased. Her evening was a tremendous success. There would be dancing and fireworks and everyone would leave at dawn, declaring the Deverill Summer Ball the finest in the county, but what of her? For her it would be more memorable than any other on account of her loss.

  When the brothers had finished their performance the orchestra picked up their instruments and began to play. The dancing commenced. Arethusa did not want to dance, but she had no choice. Her dance card was full and she could not escape her duty, nor could she offend the gentlemen who had engaged her. Sick with frustration she gripped Ronald’s arm. ‘I think I’m going to faint,’ she declared, rolling her eyes. Alarmed, Ronald escorted her out of the ballroom and into the garden. ‘You need some air,’ he said, putting an arm around her waist.

  ‘I need to lie down,’ she replied. ‘I will retire to my room for a while, Ronald, if you don’t mind. I feel very sick.’

  Ronald knew he could not accompany her there. ‘Shall I fetch your mother, or Charlotte?’

  ‘No, don’t ruin the evening for them. I will be well again shortly, if I go now and lie down. Thank you for your concern.’ She gazed at him gratefully. ‘You really are very sweet, Ronald.’

  He smiled back and puffed out his chest. ‘If we were anywhere else I would insist upon finding someone to escort you, but as this is your home I trust you will find your way to your bedroom on your own.’

  ‘Your concern is very touching,’ she said, already moving towards the door. ‘Please enjoy yourself. The Deverill Summer Ball comes only once a year and I insist that you have fun.’ He followed her to the hall and waited at the bottom of the stairs like a loyal dog as she made her way up. Only when she had disappeared did he return to the ballroom to explain her absence to anyone who asked.

  Arethusa was heading down the corridor, wondering how to engineer a meeting with Jonas, when she saw Rupert walking out of the shadows towards her. So intent was she on her mission it did not occur to her to ask him what he was doing there, in the middle of the party. ‘Rupert!’ She took his hands and squeezed them. ‘I need your help.’

  Rupert grinned. ‘Not running away from Ronald, are you?’ he asked.

  ‘For tonight only,’ she replied, but she did not smile.

  ‘Then what can I do for you?’

  ‘I need to speak to Jonas Madison before he leaves.’

  Rupert looked surprised. ‘Jonas Madison? Really?’

  ‘I need to speak to him urgently.’

  ‘Well then, if it’s urgent, let’s go and find him at once, Tussy. I assume he’ll be tucked away behind the green baize door eating our leftovers.’

  ‘No, I can’t come with you. I told Ronald I was going to lie down.’

  He arched an eyebrow. ‘Ah, another fainting fit, I presume?’

  ‘The first one was genuine,’ she retorted.

  ‘Where shall I tell him to meet you then?’

  Arethusa wanted to cry with relief. ‘Oh Rupert, would you?’ She squeezed his hands again. ‘I’m so grateful to you.’

  ‘Gratitude doesn’t become you, Tussy. Gratitude makes me uneasy.’ He looked at her worriedly. ‘I won’t waste my breath cautioning you.’

  ‘Tell him to meet me in the vegetable garden.’

  Rupert cocked his head. ‘The vegetable garden?’

  ‘No one will find us there.’

  ‘But if they do, you will be ruined.’

  She caught her breath. ‘It is worth the risk.’

  ‘Tussy—’

  ‘Then I will accept my lot. I promise. I’ll marry Ronald and go quietly. You’ll never hear another squeak out of me. I’ll do my duty and conform.’

  Rupert sighed. ‘Very well. But something tells me you never will. Some people can never change, however hard they try.’ He shrugged. ‘You’d better leave by the back and for God’s sake keep to the shadows. It’s a full moon tonight and you’ll be lit up like an effigy on St Patrick’s Day.’

  As Arethusa hurried on down the corridor she was surprised to see Peregrine slipping out of one of the bedrooms. On seeing her his face first registered surprise, then alarm. But when Arethusa smiled at him, absorbed in concealing her own guilty mission, his face softened and he did the only thing he could do to distract her from asking what he was doing up there, at this time of the night: ask her about herself. ‘What brings you up here, Tussy?’ he said.

  ‘I’m feeling a little faint and in need of a lie-down.’ Then she added naively, ‘I’ve just bumped into Rupert. If you hurry, you’ll catch him up.’

  Chapter 25

  Arethusa paced the ground in agitation. The train of her dress soaked up the dew and her pale silk shoes darkened with moisture, but she didn’t care if her dress got dirty and her shoes were ruined. She’d sacrifice everything she had for this rendezvous with Jonas. Hands on hips, strides fretful and impatient, she kept her eye on the gate in the old wall that surrounded the vegetable garden, expecting him to appear at any moment; hoping with all her heart that he would.

  The moon lit up the two magnificent greenhouses which rose out of the long grasses like a pair of stately galleons on a dark sea. Their blancmange-shaped domes reflected the silvery light and glowed like sails fully spread. The garden was quiet, the neat rows
of vegetables still, only the nocturnal creatures crept about in the shadows for the moonlight cast the landscape in a luminosity that exposed them to predators as surely as sunlight.

  Arethusa was reckless. She was expert at living in the present and not considering the consequences of her actions, and tonight she was more reckless than ever. Nothing existed but this garden, on this night. She determinedly shut out the past and the future and concentrated with all her endeavour on this very hour, as if nothing was real outside of it.

  The sudden screech of a barn owl drew her attention. She stopped pacing. Then the garden gate opened slowly and Jonas stepped cautiously into the moonlight.

  They stared at each other for a second and if, in that brief moment, they felt a twinge of doubt, it was swiftly swept away in the rush of passion that swelled in their hearts and propelled them forwards. Arethusa ran to him. There was no time for coyness or games. She had declared herself weeks ago, in the blushes that burned her cheeks and the words that scalded the paper. Jonas strode towards her, his pace quickening with each step, until they stood face to face, alone at last. Arethusa did not hesitate. She threw her arms about his neck and pressed herself against him as only a woman who has been intimate with a lover can. She felt him embrace her fiercely, wrapping her in his arms as if he intended never to release her. This was not the man who told her there was no place on earth they could go, but a man who loved her so intensely he didn’t care. In this isolated moment his ardour matched hers absolutely. Their lips came together in a kiss that was both passionate and tender and Arethusa realized that her whole life had, up until this very second, been but half a life. Now it was complete.

  Shortly, she led him to the furthest greenhouse where they could be sure they wouldn’t be found. It was pleasantly warm inside, the air damp and earthy and close. Jonas took her hand and they walked down the avenues between the plants, stopping every few paces to kiss, not wanting to waste a moment of the only time in their lives they knew they’d be at liberty to love each other freely. ‘I have been unable to think of anything else but you,’ said Jonas, cupping her face and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.