Candy Slain

by Chelsea Thomas

  Brian shrugged. “Sure. He was walking slow. Head down. He might have been skulking. But it was skulking or lurking for sure.”

  Miss May nodded. “OK. Thanks.”

  My jaw dropped when I saw how the lawn behind town hall had transformed. Just a few nights prior, the place had been the scene of a horrific crime. Police tape strewn everywhere and somber cops crawling back and forth near the gazebo.

  But that day, there was no sign of any crime. There is a big, artificial skating pond packed with families. And a massive gingerbread house was under construction beside the gazebo.

  The scene of the crime was just a memory. I had the unsettling feeling that the murder had been erased from existence. There was no police tape, nothing. It was all cleaned up.

  I scanned the crowd, looking for Lincoln. “I don’t see him anywhere. Do either of you?”

  “Hard to see much from down here in short people country,” said Teeny. “Us shorties can’t spot other shorties in the crowd. How about the bird’s eye view?” Teeny looked up at Miss May.

  Miss May sighed. “He’s not here.”

  Teeny slouched. “This little rat is all over town evading us. Always one step ahead of us. Skulking, lurking, both. Where could he possibly be?”

  Miss May shook her head. “I don’t know. But the hair’s standing up on the back of my neck.”

  Out on the skating pond a little boy took a hard fall. I took a step forward, instinctively worried and wanting to help if he was hurt. But before I got over there, the kid popped up with a big smile.

  If only we could all have that kind of positivity when we fall down, I thought. I would feel better about solving this murder. Or maybe there would never have been any murder at all.

  33

  Horsing Around

  That night, I felt a little depressed. Miss May and I had no idea where Lincoln was. The killer was on the loose. As far as I knew, everyone in town was in danger. Including me and Miss May and Orville’s sweet wife, Cookie.

  Neither Miss May nor I had much to say about the investigation. Even Steve the puppy seemed more sedate than usual. He was curled up in a ball, lifting his head only to let out an occasional mournful whimper before going back to sleep.

  Still, I was hungry, so I made a quick stir-fry and pushed it around my plate. It was an easy meal but I didn’t take my time, so it didn’t taste quite right. Too much salt. Not enough patience.

  There was one bright spot in the night, however. After about half an hour of quiet eating, Miss May and I heard a yelp from outside. We darted out of the farmhouse and onto the porch. Another yelp sounded from down near our stable.

  Miss May narrowed her eyes. “That sounds like KP.”

  When we entered the stable, there was KP, in the middle of an argument with our tiny horse, See-Saw.

  “Now you hold still,” KP shouted. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right.”

  I stepped inside and noticed that KP was wearing a Santa hat and attempting to affix an identical hat to See-Saw’s unwilling head.

  Miss May laughed. “KP, what are you doing?”

  “Deputy Mayor Matt is being a pain in my behind. Says if I’m not Santa, it’s going to ruin the holidays for everyone. Finally, I told him I’d do it. But only if I could bring my pal here with me as an assistant.”

  I covered my mouth and giggled. “So you and See-Saw are going to be a dynamic Christmas duo this year?” That was the first piece of good news I’d gotten all week.

  “That was the plan. But this adorable little lady won’t hold still long enough for me to get her hat on. If we can’t do it in rehearsal, we’re never going to do it on the big Christmas stage.”

  I shook my head. “Here. I’ll help.”

  I took a few steps toward the tiny horse. See-Saw had been on the farm for years. People loved to pet her long, soft mane and admire her mottled coat. She was only about three feet tall, but her cuteness was incomparable. The little equine was often my confidant when Miss May was too tired to talk. See-Saw was a great listener, and I swear she had a tail that she was capable of wagging. Not swishing like a regular horse — actually wagging it back and forth like a dog when she was happy.

  I spoke in a gentle whisper that I reserved for tiny horses, tiny people, and all cats and dogs. “Hey there. It’s OK. Hold still for KP, would you?” I grabbed a sugar cube from nearby and held it out. See-Saw took a step toward my hand and licked the cube. The treat calmed her. I gave KP a small nod. He gently affixed the Santa hat to See-Saw’s head. “See. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” I turned to KP. “You just need to distract her with sugar.”

  KP shook his head. “I know that. It’s the way to every woman’s heart. But I wanted her to be cooperative because she loves me. Not because I’m the sugar man.”

  Miss May laughed. “So you’re really going through with this Santa gig?”

  KP shrugged. “Unless Humphrey gets real fat real quick, it doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.”

  I fell asleep fairly easily that night. Probably because I had visions of KP and See-Saw dancing in my head. I was grateful to have KP in my life. It was always a breath of fresh air and relief that no matter how intense our investigations got, the juxtaposition of his curmudgeonly demeanor and soft spot for See-Saw could always calm me down.

  Around 2 AM, there was a knock on my bedroom door.

  “Chelsea. Chelsea, wake up.” I rolled my eyes and sat up. Miss May entered my room, wearing her signature apple nightgown.

  I coughed to clear up my sleepy voice. “Miss May. It’s two in the morning. What’s going on?”

  Miss May paced back and forth with excitement as she spoke. “An epiphany. That’s what’s going on.”

  I tossed my legs over the bed and narrowed my eyes. “Go on.”

  “The barista at the Peekskill Coffeehouse said Lincoln hadn’t been around in months, right? If that’s true, and the barista had no reason to lie, why was the door to Lincoln’s house open?”

  I shrugged. “Seems like Lincoln was involved in some shady dealings. Maybe someone had broken in. A drug addict or something.”

  Miss May shook her head. “So you think a drug addict broke into Lincoln’s house but didn’t steal the drugs?”

  “I suppose that is odd. So maybe it wasn’t a break-in. Maybe Lincoln left his house open...by accident?”

  Miss May stopped pacing and looked at me. “I doubt it, Chelsea.”

  “So what are you saying? Hit me with the epiphany already.” I could tell Miss May’s mind was racing, like it always did when we were on the cusp of a breakthrough.

  “I don’t think that any of the stuff in that house in Peekskill belonged to Lincoln. I think the whole scene was staged by someone who wanted us to think Lincoln was the killer.”

  I gasped. Miss May continued. “Think about it, Chelsea. Shotgun shells and a bag of white powder are just lying around the house? That doesn’t make sense. And is a local drug dealer really the type of guy to save up a coffee shop punch card for a month of free drinks?”

  I sighed. Miss May had a lot of good points. “I think you’re right,” I said. “Someone was framing Lincoln. They wanted us to find that stuff and assume Lincoln was guilty. They wanted us to think Lincoln killed Orville over drugs or money or drug money.”

  Miss May nodded. “Whoever staged that scene wanted us to find the evidence. Or they wanted the cops to find the evidence.”

  I swallowed. “You realize what this means, right?”

  Miss May nodded. “Whoever planted those drugs...is the real killer.”

  Miss May grabbed my coat off of a chair. She tossed it to me. “Let’s go.”

  I pulled the coat on and stood. “It’s the middle of the night. Where are we going?”

  Miss May hardened her eyes and looked out the window. “Back to Peekskill.”

  34

  Lights, Camera, Murder

  Say what you will about Teeny, but she’s always ready for
an adventure in an investigation.

  Miss May texted Teeny at 2:30 AM. By 2:45, Teeny was standing outside her house with a bag full of snacks, ready for a trip back to Peekskill in the wee hours.

  I had spent some time trying to convince Miss May that we should hang back. Wait until daylight to check out Peekskill. But she made the correct point that whoever did this could kill again by then. At the very least, the killer was likely to try and destroy that staged crime scene at Lincoln’s house.

  Teeny climbed into the car with a nervous nod. “OK. Let’s go, ladies. It’s mystery-solving time. It’s time to find the killer. This is our moment to... Hold on. My phone is ringing.”

  Teeny answered. Put the phone on speaker, as she was wont to do. “What’s up, sister?”

  “You gotta go gather your cronies. The three of you need to get over here. Now.” Peach’s gravelly voice sounded even more exhausted and smoky than usual.

  “We’re already together, Peach,” Teeny said. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m scared to find out for sure. But I don’t think it’s good.”

  Miss May looked from Teeny over to me. Then she put the car in drive and sped toward the Dragonfly Inn.

  We pulled up to the inn and parked. Battery-powered candles flickered in the windows, and a gust of wind scattered a pile of leaves across the ground. The swirl of leaves, the ominous silence, the tiny dots of light — it all infused our arrival with a sense of ominous weight.

  Peach stepped onto the porch as we climbed out of Miss May’s VW bus. Peach met us halfway down the walkway, her hands shoved in the pockets of a big, pink robe. “It’s out back. Follow me.”

  Everything was quiet out behind the inn. Peaceful, even. As far as I could tell, nothing was wrong.

  “I don’t understand,” said Miss May. “What’s the problem?”

  Peach pointed clear across the yard. “See?”

  She took a few steps toward the outer reaches of the yard, her finger trained all the way back toward the forest.

  I squinted. “Oh yeah. It looks like... Are there lights flickering out there?”

  Peach nodded. “Christmas lights. Creepy.”

  “This place is covered in Christmas lights,” said Miss May. “Is it possible that you dropped a strand out there?”

  Peach looked annoyed. “Of course not. There are no other lights out there. I haven’t been out to that forest in years. It’s always creeped me out. And there’s no way I’d run power out that far. Those lights are up to no good.”

  Teeny rolled her eyes. “You’re just being a scaredy-cat.” Teeny looked back at me and Miss May. “Peach seems tough but she’s always been the scared one in the family. Let’s go check it out.”

  Teeny charged toward the forest. Miss May and I followed with hesitation. It was nice that Teeny was leading the charge for a change but neither of us had her confidence in that moment.

  As it turned out, we were right to be scared.

  Three steps into the forest, and I felt a million miles from civilization. We were immersed in darkness, except for the strand of lights, flickering about fifty feet away. Every few seconds the white lights would pulse, then fade, then pulse again.

  Miss May stepped out ahead of Teeny.

  I bit my nails. “Careful, Miss May. There are lots of roots and sticks. Don’t trip.”

  “You don’t want me to be careful?” Teeny asked.

  “No, I want you to be careful too. But you’re less klutzy than Miss May.”

  “I’m klutzy!” Teeny said.

  Miss May chuckled. It was a nervous, tight laugh. Not free and easy like usual. “You’re perfectly klutzy, Teeny. But you don’t fall as hard as me, either.”

  Peach called to us from the edge of the forest where she was waiting. “Quit gabbing. Solve the mystery. I need to go back to bed.”

  We kept walking toward the lights in silence. We got closer and closer. We stopped talking. The sounds of the night rose to a noisy hum. The darkness closed in around us, and I felt like I was moving through a tunnel toward the pulsating lights.

  The lights went in and out in a steady rhythm like a beating heart.

  Two feet away. The lights pulsed. In that instant, I thought I saw a face. The lights went dark. I took a step closer. They pulsed again. I screamed.

  There was Lincoln the elf. Christmas lights wrapped around his neck. Eyes wide in horror, mouth open in a gasping scream.

  Teeny stammered. “The elf… The lights… The horror! How did this happen?”

  Miss May responded in a shocked monotone. “The lights must be battery-powered.”

  Teeny blinked. “I meant the murder, May. Not the power source of the Christmas lights!”

  Suddenly, a voice boomed from behind us.

  “Everybody freeze!”

  Another voice, even louder followed.

  “Hands above your heads!”

  I didn’t have to look back to know. Pine Grove’s police had arrived. They were not happy to see us.

  35

  The Ghosts Of Christmas Future

  Chief Flanagan yelled with an angry edge to her voice. “Turn and face me.”

  Miss May, Teeny, and I did as we were told.

  Teeny shook her head. “Do you people just follow us around hoping for a lucky break?”

  Flanagan put her hand on her holster. “Turn around. Hands against the trees.”

  “You just told us to face you,” said Miss May.

  Detective Wayne Hudson stepped forward. “That’s true. You did.”

  Flanagan wrapped her hand around her gun. “I changed my mind.”

  Miss May held up her hands. She turned and placed them on the tree. So did Teeny and I.

  “Sunshine. Please. Let’s discuss this,” I said, in my best rational adult voice.

  “You want a discussion? Fine. Chelsea. Come here and tell me what’s going on.”

  I looked over at Miss May. She shrugged.

  Sunshine turned to Wayne. “Detective Hudson. Take four officers and document this crime scene. I want photos. I want ample notes taken. Don’t miss a thing.”

  Wayne nodded and motioned for a few younger police officers to join him in the forest.

  Flanagan pointed at me. “Come on. Girl time.” I’m not a girly-girl on my best days, but when I’ve just discovered a strangled elf in the forest, girl time with the world’s hottest lady cop was the last thing I wanted.

  A few minutes later, and I was on the back porch of the Dragonfly Inn, drinking a hot cup of tea beside Sunshine Flanagan. Chief Flanagan had been jealous of my relationship with Wayne ever since she’d arrived in town. Once she’d been promoted to chief, she’d really let the power go to her head. I’m not sure if Sunshine disliked me so much because of Wayne, or because Miss May and I had a talent for solving crimes that the PGPD could not. Either way, Sunshine was not a fan of the Thomas ladies and Teeny.

  Still, that night, Flanagan was oddly nice to me.

  “How’s that tea? Do you need honey? Cream?”

  I shook my head. “I’m OK. Thanks.”

  Sunshine nodded. She sat on a bench and patted for me to sit beside her. “Love those shoes, by the way.”

  I looked down and my plain white sneakers.

  “I’m serious,” said Flanagan. “White is the new black. I read that in a magazine at the salon. I’ve been going to the city for my hair. Do you have any recommendations for a place around here?”

  I looked up at Sunshine’s perfect, shiny locks. Then I reached up and touched my own hair. Tangled. Dirty. Not salon hair. “Hmmm. Sorry. I don’t have anyone yet, either.”

  Flanagan nodded. I looked down and kicked at the porch. Why was she being so friendly to me? It was an unfamiliar feeling. It made me nervous.

  “It makes sense that you have such good style,” Flanagan said. “You do interior design, right? I was hoping you might be willing to help me decorate my house.”

  What in the world… “Sure. I can help.” I ha
d to resist the urge to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

  Flanagan leaned forward and peered at me. “You’re probably wondering why I’m being so nice to you. When usually you think I’m sooo mean.”

  “I don’t think you’re mean,” I said. “I would never think that the chief of police is mean. You’re stern and commanding. You do your job.”

  Flanagan sat back. “Sometimes, stern and commanding is not a good thing. I’ve been thinking I should follow the lead set by you and your aunt. You catch more flies with apple pies, right?”

  I shrugged. “Miss May makes a good pie. It’s tough to resist. Even for the most hardened criminals.”

  “So... About this whole murdered elf back there... Tell me what you know.”

  I answered fast. “I don’t know anything.”

  Flanagan give me a tight smile. “I’m sure you do. Something I can use.”

  I looked over at Flanagan. Her eyes were sharp, but she tried to maintain a smile. I remembered all the times she had questioned me in the past. Flanagan always suspected Miss May and I were up to no good. Sometimes she thought I was the killer.

  That’s when it hit me. “Oh no. You think I killed him.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Flanagan’s friendly act was so transparent, I lost my patience. “OK. Then Teeny was right. You really are following us around, hoping we’ll solve the crimes for you. Then you can swoop in and take the credit.”

  Flanagan scoffed. “What do you mean ‘we’? Everyone knows you’re just the sidekick. Miss May and Teeny are the brains.”

  “If you say so,” I said. “I agree. Those two are smart.”

  “They’ve been going around town telling people you don’t add anything to the team,” said Flanagan. “Did you know that?”

  I sat back and crossed my arms. “Uh-huh.”

  Flanagan didn’t relent. “Listen... You want me to finally get to the point?”

  “That would be great. First you flatter me. Then you tell me lies about Teeny and Miss May. Let’s wrap this up.”