Candy Slain

by Chelsea Thomas

  Flanagan stared at me. “I want you to join up with me. Not as an official detective or anything like that. But I want to put you on the payroll. The police department has real power. With your help, we can change this community. Isn’t that what you want? Stop sneaking around Pine Grove. Walk proud, out in the open. With me.”

  I stammered. Was Chief Flanagan really trying to recruit me as some kind of police agent? I doubted that was legal. And I hated the idea of abandoning my investigations with Teeny and Miss May.

  I shook my head. “No thank you. Can I go?”

  “You’ll regret it if you do,” said Chief Flanagan.

  I stood. “Legally speaking. Can I go or am I being detained?”

  “Go. But once you’re gone, this offer expires,” said Flanagan.

  “That’s fine with me.” I headed back over toward the forest, where Miss May and Teeny were huddled together, watching Wayne and his deputies search the scene of the crime. I gave them a small wave as I approached. Then Chief Flanagan came rushing up beside me. She called out to a nearby deputy. “Excuse me. Put these three women in handcuffs please. Take them down to the station.”

  The deputy looked confused. He also looked like he was seven years old.

  His voice cracked when he responded. “I’m sorry. These two little old ladies? And the girl with the messy hair?” Ouch.

  Flanagan nodded. “That’s right.

  “Hold on one second,” said Miss May. “Are we being arrested?”

  “I want to question you and Chelsea separately down at the station.”

  “Cut the nonsense,” said Miss May. “You don’t need to do that. The only way I’m going down to that station is if I’m there to pick up my sister. After I prove that she isn’t the killer.”

  “Dee Dee isn’t going anywhere anytime soon,” Flanagan said.

  “That’s ridiculous,” said Miss May. “That dead elf in the forest is clearly connected to the dead Santa Claus from town hall. This is the same killer. There’s no way my sister could be guilty of Lincoln’s murder. Therefore, there’s no way she’s guilty of Orville’s murder. She couldn’t have done it. She was locked up.”

  Flanagan shrugged. “That’s not how I see things.”

  “Please, Sunshine. This is my family. That’s not right.”

  Flanagan crossed her arms. “This is not a discussion.” She turned back to the young deputy, and as he came into focus, I recognized him as Hercules, a bumbling young cop who often worked the desk at the station. “Cuff them. Now.”

  Miss May, Teeny, and I groaned and grumbled as Hercules snapped cold, metal handcuffs on our wrists. Hercules nervously apologized to Miss May the whole time. Flanagan may have been his boss, but he was clearly more intimidated by my aunt.

  “You’re wasting your resources,” said Miss May. “There’s a dead man fifty feet away. Taking us to the station isn’t going to solve anything.”

  Hercules led us to the squad car. I snuck a look back toward the forest before I climbed in the back seat. The Christmas lights around Lincoln’s neck continued to pulse in the black night.One of the police officers turned off the lights.

  All that remained was darkness.

  36

  Sled And Dead

  As we entered the police department, Chief Flanagan separated me, Miss May, and Teeny into isolated rooms. Flanagan chose to question me herself. We had basically the same conversation that we’d had at the Dragonfly Inn, except this time around Flanagan shouted her questions at me. She made sure to make a big show of her interrogation. And she made a point of yelling loudly about how she doesn’t tolerate amateur sleuths in her town.

  When I emerged from the interrogation room with Chief Flanagan, a crowd of Pine Grove’s new deputies waited nearby. Clearly, they had heard the whole thing. That’s when I realized...

  Flanagan was using me to make a point to all of her new hires. She wanted to dispel the rumors that she let amateur sleuths handle all the big investigations in town. That’s why she led us into the department in cuffs. And it also explained why she made such big production out of questioning me.

  When I got back out to the parking lot, Miss May and Teeny were waiting for me.

  “Bunch of nonsense questions?” Miss May asked.

  I nodded.

  “Same for us,” said Teeny. “Nothing real. Just a big show for the new deputies.”

  Miss May shook her head. “That lady is absurd. You know she had no grounds to put us in handcuffs, right?”

  I nodded. “I assumed as much.”

  “I considered making a fuss about it,” said Miss May. “Since we weren’t technically under arrest. But I thought I’d let her have for fun. Appeasing her now might keep her off our backs.”

  “I refused to talk during my interrogation,” Teeny said. “Took a vow of silence.”

  “How did that go?” Miss May asked.

  Teeny shook her head. “Not well. I ended up talking a lot. Although most of what I said was recapping my favorite episodes of Blood and Bones.”

  We heard a car rumbling into the lot, and we turned to find KP pulling up in his old pickup truck. He rolled down the window when he saw us. “Got here as fast as I could when I heard what happened. You girls alright?”

  Miss May nodded. “I think we’re OK. Ready to go home.”

  Miss May and Teeny climbed in the car. I was about to follow Teeny into the backseat when someone called out from behind me.

  “Chelsea.”

  I turned. Wayne stepped out of his police cruiser and headed toward me with a wave. “Can we talk for a second?”

  I sighed. Miss May put her hand on my head. “It’s OK. Go talk.”

  I approached Wayne with slow and hesitant steps. He held his hands behind his back. His face was pensive.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  Wayne took a few steps away from the police station, out into the darkness of the parking lot. “First of all, I’m sorry about back there. Flanagan is on a tear.”

  I kept my tone short and clipped. “It’s fine. What’s up?”

  Wayne looked at me. Somehow in the heat of the investigation I had forgotten how deep the blue-green ocean of his eyes could seem. He looked vulnerable. A little sad. Eyebrows raised just a bit. Worry wrinkling the corners of his lips. “Sorry. I’m sure you want to go home.”

  I softened. “No, I have a minute. What’s going on?”

  “I wanted to ask you...... When do you think might be a good time for us to exchange gifts?”

  I looked off to the side. “What do you mean?”

  “I got you something for Christmas. When can I give it to you?”

  My eyes widened. “Oh. You got me something?”

  “Yeah,” Wayne said. “I know we’re not… an item. I saw that kiss you shared with that odd little Turtle guy. But we’re still friends, right?”

  “Yes. Yes, friends. Uh, I got you something, too. It’s great. It’s a great something. One of the best somethings in town.”

  Wayne gave me a small smile. “It’s OK if you didn’t get me anything. I wasn’t going to get you anything, either. But I saw a little trinket. Something that reminded me of you. No big deal.”

  I held up my hands. “No. I got you something. I would never lie about that. It’s a...spaceship. Not really. It’s cooler than a spaceship. You’ll see.”

  “Cooler than a spaceship? That’s a pretty high bar,” Wayne said with a smirk. The levity transformed his stoic face and made me just a little bit weak in the knees.

  “Forget what I said about the spaceship,” I laughed. KP honked the horn to hurry me along. “I gotta go.”

  Wayne waved to KP. “KP. Nice to see you. I hear you’re the new Santa in town. Awesome.”

  “It’s not definite. But I’m trying to embrace it. I’m thinking it might be my purpose to spread joy. I don’t know. Whatever. You think I’m fat enough for the job?”

  Wayne chuckled. “Definitely not. But I think you’ll do a great job.
”

  KP nodded and rolled up his window. Wayne turned back to me. “So... Gift exchange this weekend?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s a bit of a stressful time. I kind of have the police harassing me...”

  “Flanagan will lay off now that you and Miss May are off the case.”

  I looked away.

  Wayne leaned in. “You are off the case, right?”

  KP honked his horn again.

  “Sorry, I really gotta run. Have a good night.”

  I hurried toward the waiting pickup. Wayne looked after me and scratched his head. There was no way he could think I was letting this case go. Not with the killer running rampant in Pine Grove and a second victim dead in the forest.

  That was crazy. Even crazier? I had to figure out something cooler than a spaceship on a budget of under twenty dollars.

  37

  Bake ‘Em Away

  When I got home from the police station it was nearly 7 AM. Steve was whining for food, so I threw some chow in a bowl and then practically jogged up to my bedroom. My head hit the pillow and I slept for eight hours straight. I woke up in the mid-afternoon to the sounds of Teeny and Miss May clanging pots and pans in the kitchen.

  It was a familiar sound. The two often cooked together in stressful times, and the sound of them chatting and working together warmed my heart. Nothing soothed me more quickly than the company of friends and good food.

  I stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from my eyes. There they were. Standing at the sink. Miss May washing pots and pans by hand. Teeny taking the dishes and setting them out to dry on a farmhouse rack.

  I smiled. “Have you two been stress-cooking?”

  “If you don’t stress-cook, you can’t stress-eat,” said Teeny. “And we got hungry.”

  I took a big whiff of the kitchen air. “Let me guess what you made... It’s creamy. But savory. I smell garlic butter? No. Truffles? Also something almost like a cookie... I give up. I’m making myself hungrier and hungrier with each passing second.”

  Teeny crossed to the oven and opened it. She pulled out a pie tin and showed it to me. “Mushroom and cheddar quiche with a flaky, buttery crust.”

  “That’s the only way we make crust in this house,” said Miss May. She crossed over and looked at the quiche. “Looks ready.”

  A few minutes later, we all sat down with a big slice of quiche and got to talking.

  At first, we took turns complaining about Chief Flanagan.

  “Ridiculous.”

  “Intrusive.”

  “She’s all about the ego.”

  Eventually, we turned our focus to Lincoln.

  “Who could have killed that little guy?” Teeny asked.

  I shrugged. “He was basically a sitting duck. Small and helpless, staying all by himself at the inn. Anyone could have done it. But I think what Miss May told Flanagan was correct. This crime had to be committed by the same killer.”

  Miss May nodded. “It’s so hard to know anything beyond that. We have no idea who that elf was. Or even if he was being honest about his work as an elf.”

  “The only real clues we have are from that house in Peekskill. Is there any possibility the house hadn’t been staged? Any chance Lincoln sold drugs?”

  “Anything is possible,” said Miss May. “And I suppose now that Lincoln has been murdered, it seems a bit more likely that he was involved with drugs. But everything we found at that house was too convenient. It doesn’t add up.”

  “Oh it adds up,” said Teeny. “2+2 equals what the heck I have no idea.”

  Miss May shook her head. “Yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Doesn’t add up.”

  I cracked some peppercorns onto my quiche. “Peach said Lincoln had been staying at the Dragonfly for a few days by the time he died. Maybe he left something behind that will help us figure this out.”

  Miss May took a big bite of quiche. “That’s an interesting thought. We haven’t investigated Lincoln’s room at the inn at all. But that’s exactly the kind of spot where we might find a clue. It’s worked in the past.”

  I nodded and pushed the quiche around my plate. Miss May was right. The body count was adding up faster than the clues. And we needed to fix that math. Fast.

  38

  Hot Water

  When we arrived at the inn, there were at least thirty police officers crawling the property. It was a sight I had grown accustomed to in Pine Grove. New police officers everywhere. None of them with a single idea how to solve a small-town murder. Miss May greeted a couple of young cops on the front steps on her way into the inn. I hung back to listen to the conversations.

  “Been out of the academy three weeks. I’ve only misplaced my gun once,” the first cop said proudly.

  “Dude. I don’t think you’re ever supposed to misplace your gun. Where did you find it?” A second cop popped a piece of gum in his mouth.

  “You’ll never believe this. In my refrigerator. Classic.”

  I shuddered. It terrified me to think that these officers were charged with the duty of protecting the citizens of Pine Grove. I felt an increased sense of urgency. We needed to solve this crime. We needed to find this killer, fast.

  There were more police officers inside the lobby. On the stairs. Over by the coffee machine. Everywhere.

  Deputy Hercules stood at the front desk reviewing the ledger with Peach. He flipped through the pages. She chewed on the end of an unlit cigarette and looked bored.

  Miss May approached. “Hercules. Do you have a warrant to search this property?”

  Peach grunted. “I told them they don’t need it. Just want them out of here already.”

  Hercules puffed up his chest and held his hands behind his back. Clearly trying to regain his sense of authority after bashfully cuffing us the other night. “May, Chelsea, Teeny. What are you three doing here?”

  “Our heating went out up at the farm. We’re here because we need a place to stay.” I stood tall, parroting Hercules’ posture. “Peach. Do you have any rooms available?”

  Hercules narrowed his eyes. He looked right at Teeny. “Why are you here? Did your heat go out too?”

  Teeny shook her head. “I’m here for moral support.”

  Peach flipped through her ledger. “As it happens, we’ve got plenty of vacancies.”

  Teeny smiled. “Perfect. Any chance we can take a room that’s never had a murder victim in it?”

  Peach looked around to make sure no guests were in the vicinity. “Can you not talk like that? Bad for business.”

  Teeny waved Peach away. “Oh, come on, you get plenty of business from morbid tourists, wanting to stay at a spooky inn. But not me. I get creeped out in the murder rooms.”

  “Stop saying the word ‘murder.’”

  “There are a hundred cops here, Peach,” Miss May said. “I don’t think Teeny saying the word ‘murder’ is going to be the giveaway that something bad happened.”

  Teeny held up her hands. “No. My sister is right. If she doesn’t want me to say it, I shouldn’t say it.”

  “Do you really think guests come because people have been murdered? Like, they want to stay in a place with ghosts?”

  “I don’t know but I don’t plan to advertise it, either way,” Peach grumbled. “Now come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

  The three of us started after Peach.

  “Hold on one second.” Hercules circled us and blocked our path. “We’ve got an active investigation up those stairs.”

  “I’ve got an active business to run,” said Peach.

  Teeny nodded. “Yeah. And we’re paying customers. Well, they are. I’m here for moral support.”

  Hercules looked around for a superior officer. None was around. “I need to ask the chief about this.”

  Miss May rolled her eyes. “You go find her and ask her. Until then, we’ll be taking a nap in our room.”

  Miss May stepped around Hercules and we made our way upstairs. When we got to the top of the stai
rs, I could see Wayne and Chief Flanagan in one of the guest rooms nearby. They were looking under the bed, behind the dresser, searching everywhere for a clue.

  Peach poked her head in. “You two find anything in here?”

  Flanagan moved a chair aside and peered behind it. “I wouldn’t tell you if we did. Couldn’t.”

  Peach shrugged. “I told you that little guy was crazy clean. So you’re not going to find anything. He didn’t even bring a suitcase.”

  Flanagan turned and spotted me, Teeny, and Miss May behind Peach. We offered our excuse about the heat going out. Flanagan protested but Peach stepped in.

  “I need the business, Chief. And they agreed to pay top rate.”

  “We did?” asked Miss May.

  Peach glared.

  “Of course we did,” said Miss May.

  Chief Flanagan shook her head. “Whatever. But the three of you better stay out of this room. Everything past this door is a crime scene. An active investigation.”

  “They won’t interfere,” said Peach. “They already promised me. Right, girls?”

  Teeny smiled her biggest, brightest smile. “That’s right.”

  Peach plodded away toward the far end of the hall. Teeny, Miss May, and I followed. Flanagan closed the door to the guest room as soon as we turned away to make sure we couldn’t hear or see anything more.

  When we reached the far end of the hall, Peach gave us a key to our room. “OK, ladies. Breakfast until 11. Spa is closed until further notice. Extra pillows and comforter in the closet. Glad you found someplace with working heat. It’s cold out there.”

  Miss May leaned in. “Peach. We’re not here because our heat is broken. We’re here to investigate. We wanted to see inside Lincoln’s room.”

  Peach responded in a loud, clear voice. Loud enough for all to hear. “Yup. Enjoy the toasty heat. Good night.” Peach trudged away and disappeared down the stairs.

  Miss May shrugged. “I guess we might as well stick around and see what we can learn from the cops.” Miss May sighed. She inserted the old key into the door and opened it. I couldn’t believe what I saw next.