Rocker Series

by Gina Whitney

  I sat on the edge of the bed with my face in my hands. “Beauty, please look at me.”

  She slowly rolled up to a sitting pose…eyes down.

  “Come here, my beauty. Let me hold you, please.”

  She slowly looked up with tears in her eyes. Oh, fuck, this was going to be bad. I went to her and picked her up…going to her. My body language was such to let her know she’d done nothing wrong. It was about me. I cradled her as she was the most delicate blossom in my life.

  A sob escaped her and my heart shattered. “You…you don’t want me?” A tear ran down her cherub cheek. Oh, God, kill me now. Just fucking kill me. I am not worthy of her. Never was.

  “I want you more than my own life. More than my need for air. You have no idea.” I peppered her face with kisses. “I want to apologize to you, Gia. I lost control. No, that’s a fucking lie. I haven’t been in control for a while now. I’ve been using. I use when I’m emotional. But the point is…I’ve been using. Using to feel. Using not to feel. And for that, I’m sorry. I want to vow to you that will no longer happen— ever.” I grabbed her chin forcing her to look at me. She needed to understand the level of my commitment. I’d been a real douche. Time to set things straight. “Without you, there is no me, Beauty. I can’t lose you. And I’m afraid I haven’t done everything in my power to do right by you.” I followed those words with a kiss. A kiss of solemnity.

  “Can I ask you a question?” she asked nervously and I nodded. “Am I not enough for you? Is there something more I should be doing? Tell me and I’ll do it.” She never blinked. She was fucking serious…taking my pain and making it hers.

  “Beauty, I couldn’t ask for a better sub. I use drugs because I’m an asshole. That’s the plain and simple truth.” I kissed her tiny hands. “Your need for me fulfills my want for you,” I explained. However, I needed to go further. “The saying goes: A sub needs to be wanted and a Dom wants to be needed. They work because of each other. Period. Without a sub, there is no Dom. And vice versa. Do you understand?” She shook her head. However, I wasn’t convinced. “I want to be better. To be worthy of your submission. After last night, I don’t feel that I am. This is about where my head is. Not at all because of anything you’ve done or haven’t done. You hear me, Beauty? I’m in love with you, Gia. So fucking in love with you it hurts to look at you sometimes. Right now, all I want to do is make love to you. No kinky fuckery. Just you beneath me, letting me show you how much I love you— slowly.”

  And so, I spent the next hour showing her that a good Dom can submit to his nature and love his woman without the aid of whips, chains, and a good ole spreader bar. Just my cock, loving her pussy to the best of my ability. My arms holding the woman I love. Me. Not some gadget or device. My hands. My heart. My mind. My love….

  Out with the old

  Gia’s family home was not more than a twenty-minute drive from the office. Junipers lined the quaint residential neighborhood giving a passerby a feel of upper middle-class. The block bustled with children playing basketball and riding their bikes, smiling in the face of the sun. However, I knew what evil lurked behind the door I was about to walk into. I was looking forward to meeting this poor excuse of a mother. If I wanted to help my son and Gia, I needed to get ahead or thwart any plots of destroying them. I knew all too well a grifter’s language was money. I had attaché case with enough of it to make her my bitch. Showtime.

  “Right here is fine, Jeffery,” I called to my driver, a long-time employee of the family who was not only my driver, but also my head of security.

  “Yes, sir. You want back-up?” he asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

  “Not necessary. She’s not a physical threat. She’s in a wheelchair. Keep the car running; this won’t take long,” I said, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind me. I was positive by the motion of the curtain that she was well aware of my presence.

  I knocked none too gently on the door. I wasn’t in the mood for niceties. The door opened and a devil-may-care smile met me. “I’m Timothy Gunner. Are you Ms. Mastro?” I asked sternly.

  “Was. And I’ve been expecting you. Thought you’d be here sooner. Please, come in.” she said, leaning her weight on a cane.

  I nodded and walked past her, entering the foyer. I looked around. The inside was better than I anticipated. It dripped of the social climbing wench that she was. The furniture looked barely used and the baubles were very Franklin Mint. A pair of crutches was resting against the wall and I couldn’t help but think how very symbolic it was of a truly wicked mother. It may as well been a broom. With a sigh and a shake of my head, I sat in the armchair in front of me.

  She hobbled her way across the room, taking the seat across from me.

  “May I offer you a cold beverage?” She smiled, leaning in my direction.

  “No.” My answer was clipped. “This is far from a social visit, Ms…”

  “Ava, please,” she said.

  “Ava,” I repeated, letting her name roll off my tongue— acrid and poisonous, just like she was. Her name suited her. She looked like an Ava, too. For all the smiles she put forth, it couldn’t take away from the full-of-shit air just underneath the surface. I knew she was full of shit. She reeked of it. I rested my attaché case on the coffee table in front of us and watched as her eyes went up in wonder and excitement.

  “What have you got there?” She leaned in. I wanted to snap her face shut in it, but didn’t.

  “Cash. You do understand cash, right? I will give you 250,000 dollars to never contact Gia again.”

  Her eyebrow raised in question.

  “And tell me of any conversations or plots you and Morgana have hatched.” I moved the money away from her, showing her I meant business.

  “Done.” Her eyes glistened as she licked her cracked lips. “Funny, I always thought giving birth to a child would mean putting them above all else. However, with Gia, I often wondered when I was going to kill her. I’m not meant to be a mother, Mr. Gunner,” she explained.

  All I could think about was that poor girl. My heart broke for her.

  “Clearly. You should have given her up for adoption, let a loving couple raise her. That would have been the compassionate thing to do,” I huffed angrily.

  “I’m not compassionate. And she was my cash cow.” She laughed. Christ. I needed to get out of there before I killed this woman myself.

  “The money’s yours. What of Morgana?” I cut her off. I didn’t want to hear any more. I was beyond sick.

  “Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Last we spoke, she was ranting about how you rode in on your white horse to save my daughter.” She smirked. It turned my stomach that she even referenced Gia as her daughter.

  “What else?” I pressed.

  “She said she belongs with your son. Whereas, Gia’s too inexperienced for his…let’s say— tastes.” She smirked.

  I stiffened at that insinuation. Fuck. We didn’t need that getting into the media. Morgana’s been threatening Gia for a few months and that’s all she’s got? Well, that and now threatening bodily harm.

  “She gave me money to help her threaten, or as I’d like to put it…manage Gia. Gia’s very easy to manipulate.” She shook her head in disgust. “Has someone in Paris working with her. Someone on the inside.” She scratched a now bleeding scab on her arm.

  I looked to her other arm, noticing the same types of scabs there, too. Junkie. My stomach rolled. I couldn’t stand being there a moment longer.

  “Did she mention whom?” I asked.

  She fingered her pocket for something. I thought maybe a name she wrote down, but she popped a pill in her mouth. This woman was vile. It was hard to believe such a loving girl was birthed from this jackal.

  “No, just that it was someone she’s been paying money to. She didn’t seem too happy about it, either. She said he was getting too close to Gia. She didn’t know if she could still trust ‘em. Though, by the way she spoke of him, I got the feeling they knew each
other well. If that helps,” she explained.

  I removed the papers I had prepared for her to sign.

  “What are these?” she asked.

  “Oh, insurance, Ava. This is my safety net. Between tax evasion, fraud, and embezzlement, you will spend the rest of your natural life in jail. If there was a way to charge you with endangering the welfare of a minor or child abuse…you can bet your life I’d have that here, too. However, with the statute of limitations and Gia’s unwillingness to prosecute you, this is my next best option. Take this money and move far away. I don’t give a fuck where. If you go back on our agreement…these papers find their way to the authorities. I will call in every favor to make sure you never see the light of day.” I showed her where to sign. She signed with no conscience and ease. Poor Gia. My heart bled for her. But this was the best gift I could give her and my son. I’d never be able to rest knowing this serpent was close to bringing harm to my family. And with the hold she still had on Gia, I couldn’t trust that Gia had the stomach to do what was best for her.

  “This isn’t enough to relocate. What about my lifestyle I’m accustomed to?” She had the gall to ask.

  “Take it or leave it. But you’re not getting another dime from me.” I stood up, motioning to leave.

  “Wait.” Her hand went up. “I’ll sign.” She grabbed the pen.

  “Of course, you will.” I smirked and she glared at me. “The movers will be here tomorrow to expedite your departure. I suggest you figure out where you’re going, Ava.” I closed my attaché case and stood.

  “I hope you rot in hell, Gunner,” she spit out and her face twisted in fury. Game over.

  “Likewise,” I called back, slamming the door behind me.

  Jeffrey was already out of the car with the door open. “Everything okay, boss?” he asked before shutting the door.

  “Not yet, but God willing it will be. Let the pilot know I’ll be leaving for Germany in the morning,” I answered when he got in the car.

  I quickly dialed Renee. I needed to pass on the information; I was worried about the kids. And finding out who was working with Morgana was a must. Through the years, I’ve seen people resort to Judas-like behavior when money was promised. I wasn’t sure my son was in the proper frame of mind to deal with this kind of betrayal. The two of them had been through enough recently. I’d make that call after speaking with Renee.

  “While I’m away, I’d like you to make sure Gia’s mother leaves town. Escort her to the state line if you have to. And forward me where she’s staying. I want anything and everything on her. Got it?” I poured myself a scotch while in route to my next meeting.

  Between what happened the night before, followed by that morning’s emotional events, Abel thought I deserved some girl time. I agreed. Our relationship was no longer a question…he explained everything in a way only Abel could…with love in his heart and heaven in every touch.

  Last night’s events were a kick in the gut. I wasn’t naive. I got the rock-star thing. They lived hard and partied harder. However, to see him in such a state was devastating. It brought up so many feelings of my past. I resorted to past behaviors. I made it about me…blamed myself for him using drugs. He set me straight. While it nearly gutted me initially after submitting to him, he fully explained what was going on with him. Healthy relationships were about give and take. Ours more so than a normal, vanilla relationship. Without me, there was no Abel. And without Abel, there was no Gia. We worked because of each other, not in spite of each other. However dysfunctional it may seem to an outsider looking in, it was the healthiest relationship I’d had in my life. I got far more than I ever imagined. I walked around most of my life feeling fractured— incomplete. With him, I felt whole…

  Cindy barreled in the suite in typical Cindy fashion…brash and talkative. I was having a quiet day…very reflective. I knew I would. And so did Abel. That was why he suggested Cindy and I spend some quality time together. He knew me. He also had band practice for that night’s last show in Paris.

  “Chick…” she yelled across the room.

  “Shhh, you’re a loud bitch this morning, aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes.

  She walked over, smirking as she poured herself some coffee. “Yep, I like to be heard. Now, what kind of fuckery are we getting into today? The caveman said we were to have fun. And fun is what we’re having.” She toasted me with her coffee cup.

  “Shopping?” I suggested.

  “Sounds good to me. Is Commando coming?” She motioned to the Renee who was on the balcony.

  “Yep, unfortunately.” I knocked on the glass-paned door to gain his attention. I watched him pull his walkie-talkie out, no doubt alerting the driver and whoever else. I shook my head at Cindy. “Can you imagine this toxic cunt is still at it?” I asked.

  “We have to take this shit to the streets. Sometimes, you just have to knock a motherfucking bitch’s teeth out.” She laughed, but I knew she was serious.

  I’d have to brief her on the toxic bitch’s latest antics. Cindy just may reevaluate her last statement. On the way down the elevator, I briefed Cindy on the psycho’s latest stunt and what we were doing about it. I formally introduced Renee to Cindy. She also refused to call him Renee. We stuck to Commando.

  We spoke and caught up on the ride to some shops along the Seine River. Cindy was massaging her temples. “You have a headache? Why do you keep doing that?” I asked.

  “Hung-over. I made last night my bitch. And then Woody made me his,” she said and we both laughed. Commando was sitting across from us in the limo. He just raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m not apologizing. You don’t want to hear girl talk…ride up front,” she huffed. I giggled to myself. I missed this between us— friendship.

  We shopped for a few hours, ducking in and out of overpriced boutiques. I found a few pieces of lingerie to add to my seduce-Abel collection. He preferred me naked. However, I loved to see his face when I donned something new. Not to mention, it had been a while since I’d worn something I felt pretty in. We grabbed lunch outdoors, relishing the beautiful day in the sun.

  “What are the odds they have margarita’s here?” Cindy scrunched her nose up, eyeing the menu.

  I pulled out Abel’s credit card from my wallet. “I’m sure this can buy us some Patron if they don’t.” I flashed a smile. Commando sat at the next table, pretending to read the paper, looked up at me. “Your mouth…close that shit.” Damn. I wasn’t asking for permission.

  “That’s what I’m talking about. That right there.” She pointed at me. “You’re back, chick.” She beamed at me.

  “I never left…just kinda dormant for a while,” I explained. “Sometimes the meds make me quiet. I hate that about them.” Her face fell. I guess she forgot. “It’s fine Cin.” I reached across the table, grabbing her hand.

  “Oh, doll. That was the worst day of my life. Bible.” She crossed her heart with her fingers. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.” She frowned.

  “No worries. I’m stronger for it. Sounds fucked-up, right? ‘Cause it is, but it’s how I feel. This is a new slate. The new, improved me…stronger me. A toast,” I offered and she sighed. I didn’t want the day to be ruined by my past. I ordered a pitcher of Patron margaritas and I made a toast. “Here’s to good friends, good liquor, and good boobs.” We clicked our glasses.

  “Absolutely,” she cheered.

  We spent the remainder of the afternoon recollecting old stories that we never got tired of. I really needed it that day.

  It didn’t take very long for the paparazzi to find us. I was relatively unknown in Paris. However, after the other night, we caused quite a stir, voyaging around like regular tourists. Now they were out for blood.

  “Do you deal with this shit everywhere you and Wood go?” I asked.

  “I think all the boys do to a certain degree. But when you’re noted as a rock-star’s girlfriend, they get crazier. You’re the lead singer of Lethal Abel’s girlfriend. Their curiosity is natural. He’s a mega
star, comes from old money, and too hot for his own good. Woody’s a bit more reclusive,” she explained, pouring another glass for herself.

  “I guess you’re right,” I managed. It still took some getting used to.

  Commando was then standing, blocking a camera lens as we finished lunch.

  “Oh, look, there’s Chance,” I said to Cindy and then waved him over. He would’ve walked right by, I was sure of it.

  He kissed us on both cheeks. “Fancy seeing you on the outside, Gia. How’d that come to be?” he asked, snickering. Abel hated when he talked like that. Of course, Chance was spot on.

  “I needed a girls’ day,” I retorted.

  “And you didn’t invite moi?” He feigned offense.

  “Oh, please. I didn’t even know where you were. And neither did Abel. I asked just so you know,” I shot back at him. “Where were you anyway? Getting lucky, I hope?” I teased.

  “Do tell, Chance. Nothing like a little M/M action.” Cindy leaned in.

  “I wish,” he sighed. “Maybe if the alpha loosens the reins a bit, I’ll get lucky before we leave Paris. Not likely, though.” He exhaled.

  Cindy patted his back, lamenting with him. I thought about his statement. I knew Abel had enough of his squirreling around. At least that’s how he put it. He’d be thrilled to hear he was getting laid. His phone vibrated across the tabletop. Cindy and I leaned forward to see who was persistently calling, but he scooped it off the table and put it in his pocket.

  “HA!” Cindy shouted. “That’s so shady. Right there. That was shady as fuck,” she continued and I had to agree.