Rocker Series

by Gina Whitney

  “Got to run, baby girls.” He she-she air kissed us and took off.

  I did notice Commando was oddly alerted by Chance’s arrival and departure. Call me paranoid, or as I’d like to call it…hyper-aware…but something just didn’t jive lately with Chance. He wasn’t himself. Then again, Abel wasn’t being very nice to him, either. He’s been exceptionally short with him.

  “Did you guys go to the Le Chic boutique?” he inquired.

  “No, where’s that?” we both asked.

  “Just up the street. Great one-of-a-kind, rock and roll, vintage chic. I know a friend of a friend that knows the owner,” he said before darting off.

  “Huh?” Cindy mumbled, downing the rest of her drink. “He should be a personal shopper or stylist. His talent is wasted being a personal assistant,” she slurred. She was right. He was a treasure trove of style-isms.

  “Let’s go check out that store, Le Chic,” I said, motioning for the waiter. We both ate and drank enough. Some retail therapy would sober us up.

  We decided to walk the two blocks as Commando eyed the paps with a glint of bring it, fuckers. They backed off a bit and our car followed close behind.

  The street leading up to the boutique was lined with Japanese Cherry trees and gas lamps giving it a pleasant park-like touch. It was truly beautiful. I was so happy to be sharing that experience with my best friend.

  “There it is.” She pointed. A burgundy and gold awning held the name Le Chic. It was very chic and very ritzy looking. It was a dark and somber looking store. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the store quickly.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “They’re playing Oasis’ ‘Wonderwall.’ You know I love this song.” She twirled around singing.

  I wasn’t even paying attention. I was super focused on the chick behind the counter with a face full of piercings. Fuck.

  “Way to be discreet, Gia.” She elbowed me.

  “Fuck off, will you.” Sheesh she was annoying. I could shop and people watch— right?

  The walls were lined with lame gold gauze curtains. Displays hung from the ceiling instead of display stands. Huh. A very modern touch for a vintage store. But who was I to say anything? I certainly wasn’t a decorating phenomenon.

  “Yell if you need anything.” The raven-haired pierced beauty yelled as a cigarette hung from her mouth.

  “You speak English?” I asked, shocked by her cadence.

  “Obviously,” she shot back, rolling her eyes. “I’m from New York.” She flicked her ash and blew out smoke rings from her mouth.

  “Bitch,” Cindy murmured as I shot her a death glare.

  I didn’t need her big mouth getting us kicked out. Especially since Chance knew the owner. My eyes moved to the Vivienne Westwood dress that hung tauntingly in front of me. I’ve always wanted to own something by her— anything. It didn’t scream rock and roll. However, it held a sexy, old-Hollywood vibe. Abel would love it. I was still getting to know his taste and surprised by it most of the time. He was a walking contradiction. I’d have to remember to kiss the hell out of Chance for once again pointing me in the right direction with regards to fashion. He knew the broody alpha well.

  “I’d like to try on that dress there.” I pointed to the display above. “That’s Vivienne Westwood, right?” I asked.

  “The one and only,” she answered snidely. I chalked it up as a typical New Yorker. They had a brash way about them. I’m sure Cindy and I didn’t come across as a pushover or sweet, either.

  “I’ll set up a dressing room for you. You can have a seat over there until its ready.” She pointed to a cozy couch that sat in front of the dressing rooms. While Cindy perused the sale rack, I had a seat.

  “Coffee, tea, or water?” another sales girl asked.

  “No, thanks. I’m fine,” I answered the pixie-haired girl. I picked up a copy of Rolling Stone magazine that sat in front of me. As I thumbed through purposelessly, my eyes fell upon a page filled with pictures of Abel and Morgana. I quickly closed the magazine, looking for the date of publication. The sticker printed read a year ago. My heart didn’t care if it was a decade ago. The visual provided a nice kick to my gut. The knowing grin she wore for the cameras made me sicker. I studied the pictures carefully, trying to see if he looked happy. There wasn’t a smile on his face. However, he held her hand. That twisted me to no end. Call me immature, but the thought of him touching any part of her made me furious.

  “Why the face?” Cindy walked over and I held up the magazine. “Give me that.” She snapped it out of my hand. “Why torment yourself. You knew he had a past. This isn’t something he hid. You also knew that nasty-ass-skank was part of it,” she scolded me. She was right, of course, but tell that to my heart and ego that just took a hit.

  “That nasty-ass-skank is a dear friend of mine,” New Yorker snarled, rolling her fake eyelashes. She placed my dress on the hook in the first dressing room. Cindy and I were shell-shocked by her admission. I didn’t know what to say other than wanting to kill Chance for suggesting this boutique.

  Thinking quickly on my feet, I rose from my seat and moved toward the dressing room. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. My condolences. I’ll let you know if I need anything else. Thanks.” I closed the curtain in her face. Fuck her. I refuse to let anyone make me feel inferior. Especially in the face of Morgana, the toxic cunt. It caused Cindy to laugh loudly, which made my smile bigger.

  I tried on the gorgeous made-to-be-vintage dress. It was black sheer with a short-layered tulle skirt. I was thankful for the appliqued panels over my nipples. However, the entire upper part of the dress was see-through. The price reflected the fact that it was a one of a kind dress; there was no way in hell I wasn’t buying it. Particularly, in light of Morgana’s friend standing just beyond the curtain.

  “Girl, let me see you in all your fabulousness,” Cindy begged. Her voice held an edge. No doubt she was staring down the pierced bitch.

  I pushed aside the curtain, stepping out.

  “Holy fuck, Gia. Abel’s going to come all over himself.” She grinned at the sales bitch.

  “Yeah, I know.” I smiled in the mirror, silently agreeing. “Yes, he will. I’ll take it.” I turned to the bitch. “You can start writing it up. We’re in a hurry.” I winked at Cindy— her smile proud and wide.

  “That’s what’s up! Right fucking there.” Cindy pointed at me knowingly. She got off on being catty.

  I stripped the dress off, noticing the time. Crap. Abel and the boys would be looking for us. I met Cindy at the register and paid with Abel’s American Express Black card. The pierced sales wench’s eyes as she read the name on the card was well worth going in there. Maybe I wouldn’t kick Chance’s ass after all. Fate and all that shit.

  I wore my smile smugly as we exited the store with my new dress. Next stop…the boys…

  Abel

  I was happy with our practice. I could tell by the ripping that went on the boys felt the electricity, too. My voice was solid despite the partying the night before. Just before practice, I told them what happened between Gia and me. They weren’t surprised at all. We all partied to various degrees. Some openly…some on the down-low. However, I vowed not to pick up again. I was done polluting my body with substances. I followed that conversation by drinking as much water as possible. I needed to flush my system. While everybody had their anecdote for a proper cleanse, I stuck to what I knew— water.

  “Thank fuck you guys are in a good mood. We leave for Germany after the show,” Dave announced.

  “And why is that?” Jake asked, clearly pissed. I guess he had plans with a groupie for the night.

  Dave looked toward me. “We’re the guest of honor at the German chancellor’s charity gala. I’m reluctant to give any details lately because someone’s leaking everything to the press. Your dad asked me to keep tight-lipped.” Dave blew his cigarette smoke in my direction. His anger was palpable.

  All eyes were on me. “What the fuck’s with your tone?
” I asked. Fuck this shit. It isn’t my fault.

  “It’s that fucking tart that gave yer mediocre blowjobs. Am I right?” Woody spoke first. “It’s all over the telly.” Woody grabbed his beer, taking a swig.

  “La concha de tu madre,” Ender spewed. “So, that bitch is gonna chase us all over Europe? How many European tours are we gonna do, huh?” he yelled, waving his hands to punctuate his anger. I got they were all pissed.

  “Security’s working on it,” was all Dave said before taking a phone call. We fell silent, lost in thought.

  “Listen, my old man’s working on it. This bitch is fucked.” I shook my head. “Let’s have a good show tonight. Her one and only desire is to fuck with me. With us. Ruin us. I’m not handing it to her on a platter. Fuck that shit. “You fuckers know she has the gift of denying any reality,” I said, looking every one of those motherfuckers in the eye. Yeah, I stuck my dick in that hot mess. However, no one deserved the heavy helping of psycho du jour that she bestowed upon me.

  “For fucks sake. No one’s blaming you, lad. Jesus fuck, I could tell she’d be a sicky by the way she eyed your johnny.” Woody’s explanation had Jake cracking a smile first. We all broke apart one by one, laughing our asses off. Of course, it was hardly the time to laugh. Nor was it a laughing matter with the ills Morgana blew in the wind. However, we were still a couple of young guys trying to wrap our heads around stardom. Let alone, being stalked by some crazy ex-girlfriend.

  I was glad for the moment of levity. Just in time for the girls to walk in with their shopping bags. That made me happy— to see my girl spend some of the money I worked so hard for. She was allowing me to provide for her. That felt like an enormous accomplishment. While she let me provide for her in the bedroom, outside of it was a very different story. I backed off and allowed her to write it as she saw fit. I prayed she’d let me be the man I wanted to be for her, and allow me to treat her like the princess I saw her as. But, I knew her past. It didn’t come easy. She was embarrassed by her mother. She didn’t want to be perceived as a gold-digger. I never thought for a moment she was. But, in the interest of growing, I’d like her to take her steps as slowly as needed. In truth, I wanted to be everything for her. Her air. Her water. Her sustenance. Her heart… If I could steal her pain, I’d replace it with my heart.

  I took her bag from her, then threw her over my shoulder, giving her ass a nice swat.

  “Let me the fuck down you caveman,” she screamed.

  “Not on your life.” I turned to the guys and said, “Later fuckers; we’re going to get ready.” I turned, leaving the studio.

  “Tell me you’re not going to walk through the lobby of this fancy-ass hotel like this,” she pleaded. She knew the answer to that question. Yes. I was 100% going to walk through the lobby, past everyone with Beauty over my shoulder.

  “Baby, why ask the obvious.” I smacked her ass nice and hard to punctuate my commitment.

  “This is so fucking embarrassing,” she continued pleading.

  Instead of taking the private suite elevator, I waited purposefully with the other patrons for the main lobby lift. We waited alongside six other people. Gia continued to murmur all the ways she hated me and would get me back. I wore a big smile proudly. Yes, I am a fucking caveman. Her balking told me so. A sweet little thing across from me winked. Yeah, women desired this behavior. A guest’s camera phone hung in front of my face catching us on video.

  “You’ve got two fucking seconds to close that before I beat you fucking bloody for looking at my girl’s ass,” I growled and stepped into his personal space. “Three. Two. One.” His shaking hand closed his phone.

  “See? That’s what the fuck I’m talking about. Is it normal to growl at people? Just sayin’,” Beauty babbled.

  Swat. My hand landed heavily on her sweet ass. The very ass I planned on sticking my cock into in the next 5 minutes. Mental countdown commenced…

  Lights, camera, action…we were on fire. My beauty sat just off stage to my left. Pyrotechnics exploded as we wrapped up our last show in Paris. I’d wait until Germany to introduce our newly minted song. Of course, I penned it for Gia. However, the impulsive side of me wanted to perform it that night. The boys reminded me we’d never give our fans anything less than perfection. I knew that. But, I was high…high on my love for this girl who shared my bed. My life. And now, owned my heart. I was radioactive. The crowd felt it, too. Thousands of cheering fans sang along, lighting the venue with their lighters. Ender ripped it up with a guitar rift as part of the finale. Wood was boss with his beats. Jake’s bass-line glued it all together. Connected. Cohesive. Family. And I was thankful for the first time in my life. It just blew me the fuck away. I was alive…and it felt fucking great to be drug-free…

  Germany

  Under the cover of darkness, we boarded a plane and flew to Berlin. The idea was to get ahead of the press. Unlikely, but worth the try. My thoughts weighed heavily on finding the rat within our group. It festered in me. I would kill the fucker who was giving up information.

  Beauty lay across my lap fast asleep as I watched the tiny lights below from the window. It was only an hour and half travel time. However, it was enough time to contemplate who and why. Woody’s eyes were on me. Yeah, he had the same thoughts running through his mind. Cindy was taking up the seat next to him. His hand was stroking her golden locks. Ender sat across on his laptop. He was looking into what clubs were open, no doubt looking for some pussy. Hey, I couldn’t blame him. Not too long ago I would have been right next to him taking part in the planning. However, I now held the most precious life in my hands— Beauty. Looking at her sleeping face, it was free from worry. Lost in sleep. Hopefully, dreaming of me. I smiled to myself, surprised by my thoughts.

  “Who do you think the bastard is, lad?” Woody whispered across the cabin. I looked up, eyeing him.

  “If I catch that motherfucker…that’s all I’m saying,” Ender shot across the aisle, never looking up from his computer. Jake removed his ear-buds to listen in.

  “I’m with you, brother,” I responded to Ender. “I don’t know. But rest assured we’ll find out. And when we do, God fucking help that son of a bitch.” My words were weighted with fury. My fists closed tightly. I wanted that fucker dead. Whoever it was, was fucking with my family. No one fucks with what’s mine.

  “Aye.” Woody nodded. “We need to talk in private, lads.” He motioned to the girls and then to Chance.

  I turned around to look at Chance, almost forgetting he was in back of me. He was on his phone typing away. I looked back to Wood. Then to Ender and Jake, who also nodded, agreeing we needed to talk in private. Very interesting…

  “Dude, you see where we’re staying?” Ender thankfully changed the subject holding up his MacBook. The hotel was situated in one of the biggest skyscrapers in Germany. Ultra-modern facility with full-height windows presented the city below.

  “Jesus, fuck. The princesses are gonna love,” Woody offered in awe of the pictures of the hotel.

  “Sweet. I’m looking forward to getting to my room. Long fucking day, dudes.” I shook my head, yawning. They nodded their agreement. My fingertips danced along her skin, causing goose bumps to form. A delight ran along my dick. I gently pressed upward.

  “Stop molestin’ yer fuckin’ girl, you cuntin’ pervert.” Woody’s laughter rang out. The boys laughed along with him.

  Gia stirred in my lap from the noise. I wanted her to sleep. However, with the amount of ribbing and fucking around that commenced, that was proving to be difficult. My frustration made the hysteria even worse. Whatever. So I’m a fucking pervert…what’s new?

  Flash bulbs hammered away at us as we disembarked the plane. I kept my hand in front of Beauty’s eyes in an effort to shield her from the exposure.

  “Fuckin’ asshole cunts,” Woody’s yelled at the photogs as he ran by, getting in to the Suburban. We all followed.

  “Fuck,” was all I got out before ducking into the vehicle. My eyes were sti
ll blinded by the flash-bulbs. “You okay, baby?” I asked her. My thoughts were always on her.

  “I’m fine,” she said, looking to Cindy. “You okay, chick?”

  Cindy nodded. I knew Cindy was leaving after Germany. Gia, wouldn’t have a girlfriend to lean on. I would be her only source of comfort. Which suited me fine. Jake lit a joint, blowing the smoke directly at me. Fuck. I squinted at him knowingly. He passed it to Ender, and he toked it deeply, half-choking.

  “Want any?” Cough. Cough. Cough. A plume of smoke surrounded us.

  “I’m good,” I said. I was far from relaxed. My spine was straight and stiff. I wanted a hit for fuck sure. I only had my word to Gia at this point. And I’m not in the habit of disappointing my beauty. So fuck that shit. I pulled her deeper into my lap, smelling her shampoo. Hmm. That right there was heaven. Fucking heaven on earth.

  “Stop bogarting the joint, Ender. Toke. Toke. Pass. There’s weed etiquette, you know?” Cindy explained with her hand extending mid-air. “Pass it, esse,” she insisted. I had to admit, she was a funny chick.

  “Oh, now we’re sharing?” Ender asked, looking oddly at Woody.

  “No, we’re not sharing. You’re sharing that joint is all. Get yer mind out of the gutter, you prick.” Woody grabbed the joint out from between Ender’s lips. Ender’s mouth hanging open without the joint had us all gasping for air. We laughed. And then rehashed it again, laughing harder.

  “Toke. Toke. Pass,” Jake spit out between heaving breaths, repeating Cindy’s words.

  “Oh, get the fuck over it, Jake. Sheesh. Like it’s the first time you heard of that?” Gia poked him in the gut, causing him to spit out his beer.

  The girls were great. It really felt like family for the first time since I could recall. That was saying something, too. I was usually high as a motherfucker. So more than likely, I’d miss the whole conversation as I thought about my next hit. Sigh. Life on the road was hard. Life on the road for a druggie…even harder.