Lost Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Hannah couldn’t wait to get back to Silver Spoons Ranch. Before she took the overly generous offer of Zander, she had to make sure there weren’t any strings attached. Plus... she wanted to see him now that she knew where he was and since she’d cooled off, she was dying to get another chance to talk to Nate.

  She was supposed to stay at the school for two nights, but instead, she left before she could even try out the kitchens. Yes, culinary school was her dream, but somehow Zander had wedged his way into her plans and dealing with Nate meant that she might be able to wrap up loose ends from the past.

  Something about the pocked chrome archway with what had to be hundreds of spoons welded into the design made her feel like she could fit right in. He had spoons in his ranch, a strong symbol of the kitchen, and she just wanted to be around food. Maybe she was being obtuse but she could see the universe wanted them together. She had to stop fighting it.

  She was willing to stop fighting it. But did he really want her or was the money because he felt bad for lying?

  Climbing from her car, Hannah took a fuller look at the place Zander called home. And Nate. Nate had lived there for who knew how long. Two important men in her life and she’d just bumbled out of there, wrapped in her own troubles, focused on the negative rather than in the positive – she’d found Nate and Zander and they were at the same place, not far from where she wanted to go to school.

  The steps muffled her arrival as she took them one at a time, mesmerized by the distressed look to the railings and the golden, well-polished logs making up the walls of the rest of the home. Whoever had designed the house had an eye for architecture and Adirondack style settings. The building was old, but well-cared for.

  Hannah pushed her lips into a flat line. Her nerves were strong enough to make her nauseous, but she swallowed them down. She’d already done the embarrassing stuff. Now... now she just had to see what she could salvage.

  Reaching up to knock on the door, Hannah stopped at the sound of a voice behind her.

  “No one’s inside.” Zander’s voice sent small chills up the curve of her back. His tone was bleak yet hopeful at the same time.

  She smothered her smile and turned, dropping her hand to her side.

  Zander stood at the base of the steps, looking up at her. He’d tilted his hat back and the light spilling from the front windows cast a warm orange-ish glow across his skin. “What are you doing here, Hannah?” He sounded tired.

  Hannah understood tired. She strode the two steps to the top of the stairs and stared down at him, her heart in her throat. She tried to catch her breath while trying to talk herself out of doing anything rash.

  But she couldn’t. Before she gave up and ran away again, she blurted out, “You’re not supposed to make me weak at the knees from an hour or so away. I don’t want to be tied down and then have my heart destroyed. But even my warnings didn’t stop me. You lied to me. And I still...” Eyes full of tears, she glanced to the side, then closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Zander stood in front of her, at the same level as her since he was only two steps down. She twisted her lips in consternation. “I’m supposed to be stronger than that. I can’t help it and... I’m so frustrated.”

  Zander searched her face, his green eyes tracing the lines as if he had to memorize the way she looked. “What has you so frustrated, love?” He reached up, grazing her cheek with his thumb.

  Holding his gaze with hers, Hannah whispered, “Falling for you. Even though you lied. I still fell and...”

  Genuine anguish twisted Zander’s lips. “I’m sorry. I really am. I just... Nathan talked so much about you guys, your family. I’m an only child and all I wanted was to have a family again. He’d said he had one sister left who wasn’t married, the last of the cousins, and I planned on marrying you. I didn’t care about love.”

  “Do you care now?” Hannah caught her breath. Was he saying he couldn’t love her? Now that he’d met her, he wasn’t interested in her or her family? Or what if he said he did care about her? Would it be just for another shot at being in the family?

  “I care. More than you know.” He reached out and ran a finger down the curve of her jaw. She shivered at his touch.

  “I... You helped me find my dream and my brother. I owe you for that, but I don’t want to be obligated to you. Does that make sense?” Hannah couldn’t concentrate but only because she couldn’t figure out if he cared about her still or if he’d chosen that he wanted something else. “I can’t pay you back... not right now. Maybe someday. But if I’m going to school in Mersdin, I can see you here, maybe...” She bit her lip, searching his face. “Maybe I could see Nate, too.”

  Sorrow shadowed Zander’s gaze and he dropped his hand, leaving behind a chill on her skin. “I’m sorry. Nathan’s gone. He left after you did.” Regret slouched his shoulders. “He was my friend and I wanted him for my brother, you know? And now he’s gone.”

  Hannah sighed, she’d lost him again, but this time didn’t feel so empty. “I figured he would run. I’m too much of a reminder of what he lost.”

  Zander slowly reached up and gripped her upper biceps. “Don’t blame yourself. He has too many ghosts he’s running from.”

  “No. He only has one.” Hannah reached up and twisted a chunk of her thick, dark hair around her finger. “Why did you promise to pay for my schooling? I don’t... you don’t have to do that.”

  “Because I can. Because I have the means. I want to help you. Even if you don’t choose me, I want to be able to do what I can to help make you happy. And no more talk about paying me back.” He reached up with both hands and cradled her face in his hands, holding her still while he searched her face. “I just want you happy. You’re so much more than I could’ve hoped for and I... I just want to give you everything.”

  Hannah studied him, consumed by his gaze and the warmth of his hands. “Do you still think there’s a chance for us?”

  Zander pulled back a bit, but didn’t break the contact of his hands on her. He turned his head to the side, eyeing her like she had said something out of character. “I don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, there’s always a chance for us. Always. But... it comes back to you. Can you look past what I’ve done? Give me a second chance?”

  “You’re already forgiven.” She leaned forward and grazed her lips softly across his then pulled back, a playful wrinkle to her nose. “Oh, wait, since we’re starting fresh, we probably shouldn’t kiss. I wouldn’t want to offend you.”

  “Oh, hush, you. I want to be your last kiss.” Zander stepped closer to Hannah, wrapping a hand around her waist and pulling her close. He angled his head to the side and their lips connected. The warmth was more like coming home than anything Hannah had every experienced.

  After a few moments, Zander pulled back and winked. “I’m going to keep you for myself, Hannah.”

  “Zander, I’m going to keep you, but I’ll share you with the Trails once in a while, too. I don’t think we’re lost anymore.” She leaned up on tip-toe and kissed the top of his forehead and then trailed kisses down to his nose and then once more on his lips.

  Hannah finally found like she’d found her way to where she was supposed to be. For the first time since Nate left, she felt like something was going her way and she wasn’t alone anymore.

  Epilogue

  Nate

  Even the stars peeking from behind clouds tried irritating Nate. He glared from his seat on the well-worn saddle on his horse at the image of his sister and Alex kissing on the porch of Silver Spoons Ranch.

  He’d come back to tell Alex that he’d stay, but only if Alex promised never to bring up the Montana Trails again. That kind of a promise would be hard to keep with his lips locked on Hannah.

  Nate had missed her. He barely recognized her. She had the dark locks of their mother and the stubborn streak of their father. What he wouldn’t give to go back, see his family, but back there... back in Clearwater County... where his Emma had died and was buried wasn’t a
n option.

  He blinked tears back and swallowed the lump in his throat. No matter how long he’d been gone, the pain hadn’t diminished.

  Wrapping the reins around his fist, he softly clucked to Thunder, his horse, and turned him back to the road. He wasn’t going back now. Hannah was moving on. Alex didn’t need more drama on his plate.

  Nate would have to take the presence of his sister as a sign that it was time to leave. He couldn’t even tell her he was sorry. Just one more thing to add to his list of regrets.

  HANNAH

  “What do you think of this one?” Hannah leaned across the island in Zander’s massive kitchen and offered him a taste of a creamy sauce on a wooden spoon. She waited for him to lick the spoon and watched for his expression. Dropping back from tip-toe, she held the spoon aloft. “Well?”

  Zander took his time, his expression thoughtful. “I like it, but I think there’s too much...” He looked at her and then guessed, “garlic?” He grinned when she tossed the loose hand towel sitting beside her on the counter at him. “I don’t know. It’s delicious. Don’t change anything.”

  “Oh, you.” Hannah sighed, stirring the creamy sauce and adding petite shrimp with a gentle folding motion. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” Zander reached across and plucked a piece of baguette bread slice from the basket beside the cutting board. “I should be thanking you. I’m getting fat with all the amazing food you treat me to.”

  Hannah turned the stove down and rounded the end of the counter. She waited for him to look at her. “You know what I mean.”

  “Do I?” Zander teased her playfully. They’d been dating for three months and he’d been a gentleman from the very beginning.

  “Thank you.” She leaned forward and kissed him full on the lips, a blush heating her cheeks. She still wasn’t used to that.

  Before she could turn back to dinner, Zander stopped her by grabbing her fingers in his. “Hey,” His voice turned huskier than normal and she turned back to meet his gaze. He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Can I give you something and not freak you out?”

  “Those aren’t the words to start with.” She laughed and nodded. “Sure. Hopefully, it’s that whisk I was hinting about the other day.” She winked at his deadpan expression.

  He waited until she sobered and then he pulled out a small box. “This. I’m not going to propose until you graduate from school, but I want to make sure you know that my intentions are forever.”

  Hannah’s breath caught and she didn’t open the box. She just stared at it, sitting unassuming in his palm. She blinked back tears and whispered, “What if I don’t want you to wait?”

  Disbelief dropped his lips open and he leaned forward. “Wait, what?”

  “I’m not saying I want you to propose tonight, but I don’t need you to wait that long.” She leaned forward to kiss him on the lips again, this time without the blush. “I know you’re not going anywhere, Zander. I know I’m safe with you. That’s what my thank you was for. I love you.” She pulled back and studied him. He was hers. She didn’t need anything else. She’d found the man she didn’t know she was searching for.

  Lost hearts healed a lot faster when they were found.

  ***Nate was first and now he’s last as we come full circle with the Montana Trails. He’s dealing with more than just his broken heart. He has to help another wild soul find redemption. Read his heart-breaking story in Untamed Trails. ***

  Sign up for my newsletter and get free reads and so much more delivered to your inbox. It’s a chance for us to connect!

  Want to see me online?

  Website

  Facebook

  Twitter

  Copyright © 2017 Bonnie R. Paulson

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold.

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Cover design by Kristin Bryant, contact her through kristindesign100@gmail.com

  Did you love Lost Trails? Then you should read Untamed Trails by Bonnie R. Paulson!

  Her love can make or break him…

  Nathan Rourke has been through the ringer when he lost the love of his life to cancer. Driven away from family by his need to escape the pain, Nathan disappears for years as he perfects the art of drinking and ranch handing.

  On a fateful morning when even his horse has left him, Nathan rescues a hapless woman from drowning in her own demons, forcing him to examine his own. When he offers to help on her ranch, he's certain she's going to turn him down.

  With a baby on the way, Lily Dobbins needs more help than she's willing to admit. Dropping her guard, Lily has to let Nathan in or fail miserably before she's even started.

  Will they enable each other to continue on their broken paths or will they be forced to see that making it in this life is so much better when they're not alone? Nathan has to find a way to return to himself and his family before he's lost in grief forever.

  Their hearts are taken but can the shattered pieces be mended enough to let in someone new?

  ***Other Titles by Bonnie R. Paulson***

  Western Romances

  The Clearwater County Romances

  The Montana Trails series

  Broken Trails (book 1)

  Forbidden Trails (book 2)

  Unbridled Trails (book 3)

  Hidden Trails (book 4)

  Forgotten Trails (book 5)

  Endless Trails (book 6)

  Forsaken Trails (book 7)

  Lonesome Trails (book 8)

  Lost Trails (book 9)

  Untamed Trails (book 10)

  Boxset – Books 1, 2, 3

  Boxset – 4, 5, 6

  Boxset – 7,8,9

  Full Boxset – 1-10

  Lonely Lace series

  Spurs and Lace (book 1)

  Secrets and Lace (book 2)

  Sorrows and Lace (book 3)

  Boxset (all 3 books)

  Redemption series

  Romancing Redemption (book 1)

  Riding for Redemption (book 2)

  Resisting Redemption (book 3)

  Regretting Redemption (book 4)

  Rewarding Redemption (book 5)

  Read more at Bonnie R. Paulson’s site.

  Also by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Clearwater County, Redemption series

  Romancing Redemption

  Riding for Redemption

  Resisting Redemption

  Regretting Redemption

  The Redemption Boxset

  Rewarding Redemption

  Clearwater County, The Montana Trails series

  Broken Trails

  Forbidden Trails

  Unbridled Trails

  Hidden Trails

  Forgotten Trails

  Endless Trails

  Forsaken Trails

  Lonesome Trails

  Lost Trails

  Untamed Trails

  Montana Trails Series Box Set

  Watch for more at Bonnie R. Paulson’s site.

  About the Author

  Real people, real loss, real love. This USA Today Bestselling author, Bonnie focuses on the emotional thrill of the romance, the discovery of self and the dynamic forces at play to both pull and push love growth. With 6 children and her own eternal romance at home, Bonnie lives her own dream every day. She's spoiled with blessings and wants to share the joy of ever-after possibilities with others. Whether it's a happy-ever-after or a happy-for-now, the emotions will leave you story drunk for days, if no
t years. Feel good romances with sweet twists. Or is it Sweet romances with bold twists? You decide. You'll be able to say where you were when you closed the book. Surviving all things real and coming out better on the other side. Some of her favorite authors are Robyn Carr, Pamela Kelley, and Christine Kingsley!

  Read more at Bonnie R. Paulson’s site.