From This Day Forward

by Victoria Thompson

  Tears sprang to her eyes, and she didn’t even try to blink them away. “I think I can.”

  With a groan, he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to his chest. “I’ll make it up to you, my darling, I promise you,” he breathed into her hair. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive!”

  She was crying, but that made her smile in spite of her ears. “I think I already am!” she told him.

  He squeezed her more tightly for a moment, then pushed her slightly away so he could see her face. “Oh, no, you’re not. You don’t even know what happiness is yet, but I’ll show you. I’ll devote every day of the rest of my life to showing you!” he vowed with the most beautiful smile Lori had ever seen, and then he kissed her.

  He’d kissed her many times in the past few months, but never like this. This time he kissed her as if she were the most precious thing on the earth, as if he were worshiping her with his lips and his hands. And when he was done, he pulled away and asked, “Will you come home with me now? Will you bring our son and come home?”

  Lori had truly believed she couldn’t be any happier, but when she heard him say “our son,” she knew she had been wrong. For a second, she thought her heart might burst with joy, and she smiled through her tears and said, “Yes, I will.” Only when she saw how he closed his eyes and felt the shudder of relief ripple through him did she understand how very much she meant to him and how devastated he would have been if she had refused him. But she hadn’t refused him, and he had done everything she had asked of him and more, and for the first time since he had come to this house last spring and asked her to marry him, Lori believed that everything was finally going to be fine. No, not merely fine but wonderful!

  “I have to tell Bessie,” she said.

  “No need for that,” Bessie informed them from the door way. She was smiling as proudly as if she were personally responsible for getting them back together again.

  They jumped guiltily apart and then laughed because they had nothing at all to feel guilty about.

  “I’m going home,” Lori told her happily, looking up a Adam who was gazing back down at her with frank adoration.

  “That’s what I figured,” Bessie said. “I come to help you pack. Not that I’m in a hurry to get rid of you or anything,” she added with a wink. “I reckon that brother of yours is gone,” she said to Adam.

  “He’s gone for good,” Adam confirmed, slipping his arm around Lori’s waist and pulling her snugly to his side.

  “Well, then, what’re we waiting for?” Bessie wanted to know.

  With their help, Lori had all her and Matthew’s things gathered into a bundle in a matter of minutes. The baby was still sleeping in his basket, so Adam picked him up, basket and all.

  When Lori saw how he held it, so gently, and how he looked at the sleeping baby, so adoringly, and how he reached out to touch Matthew’s satiny cheek with one finger, so tenderly, tears came to her eyes again.

  “I think I missed him almost as much as I missed you,” Adam told her, his own eyes suspiciously bright. “He really is my son now, and he always will be.”

  Lori could only nod, not trusting herself to speak because the tears of joy were so close and Adam might not understand if she cried that it was only from happiness.

  She followed him out as he carried the baby and basket to the buggy and set them ever so carefully on the floor. Bessie had already placed the bundle of their clothes behind the seat, and she now stood, beaming proudly, ready to see them off.

  “Thank you for everything,” Lori told her stepmother, giving her a hug.

  “Oh, pshaw, I didn’t do nothing but put up with you for a few days,” Bessie protested, although the tears standing in her eyes betrayed her. “Get along with you now before I embarrass myself! ”

  Lori allowed Adam to help her into the buggy, then he climbed up, too, and they were off. She glanced down to make sure Matthew was secure and found he was still sleeping soundly, oblivious to the drama that had taken place around him. Then she looked up to find Adam was watching her.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, too. I always have.”

  His eyes grew shadowed, and she saw that he still doubted her.

  “Why don’t you believe that?” she asked.

  He smiled or tried to. “I find it difficult to... I’m a cripple, Lori, and you’re a beautiful young woman.”

  But Lori shook her head. “Eric is the one who’s crippled. His soul is twisted and deformed, and he takes pleasure from hurting others. You’re not like that, Adam. You may not be perfect,” she said, laying a hand on his damaged thigh, “but you’re good inside, where it matters. And that’s why I love you.”

  He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips, a promise of things to come, and then he said, “You’re right, I’m not perfect, and I’m not really good inside, as I think I’ve already proved, but I’m willing to let you believe that I am,” he added when she would have protested, “and I’m more than willing to try to live up to your opinion of me.”

  Lori leaned her head against his shoulder, perfectly content for the first time since she could remember. The rest of the short trip passed in blissful silence as Lori savored her newfound happiness and contemplated a whole lifetime of it.

  She could see the beautiful house up ahead, and the other out buildings, the place she could now truthfully say was her home. She was about to tell Adam how glad she was to be back when she felt him stiffen beside her and heard him make a small sound of alarm.

  “What is it? What’s the matter?” she asked, looking bad and forth between his face and the plantation buildings, trying to figure out what had disturbed him.

  Adam tried to tell himself it wasn’t possible. Probably Eric hadn’t liked the horse Oscar had saddled for him. Probably, he had demanded another and ridden away on it, which would explain why this one was still standing outside the back door, tethered to the hitching post as it had been when he’d left.

  A quick glance at the horizon confirmed that it was officially sundown, even though the sky was still light. He’d threatened to kill Eric if he was still here when he got back, and from the rage building in his chest, he knew he would do just that if his brother had defied him. If Eric upset Lori, if he said one thing to her...

  “Adam, is something wrong?” Lori asked him again, and he tried to smile reassuringly.

  “I don’t think so,” he lied as he pulled back on the reins and drew the buggy to a halt. Quickly, he set the brake and tied off the reins. “Wait here for a minute while I check on something,” he said, as he climbed out.

  “What is it?” she demanded, but he didn’t allow himself to acknowledge her distress. He was too busy planning what he would do. He should have carried a gun with him. He realized that now. Eric would be armed. And if he’d changed his mind about leaving...

  Adam froze in horror when he looked up and saw Eric coming out the back door. He was smiling that impudent smile that Adam hated so much.

  “Well, now, what have we here?” Eric asked.

  “I told you to be gone when I got back,” Adam reminded him even as he registered the fact that Eric had a pistol strapped to his hip.

  “There was something you didn’t tell me, though,” Eric said, strolling across the porch toward Adam as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “You forgot to tell me I’ve got a son.”

  Behind him he heard Lori cry out in horror. Instinctively, he turned to find her struggling to untie the reins, desperate to escape his brother.

  “Not so fast,” Eric warned, jumping down the steps in one leap. But Adam couldn’t let him get to her.

  He threw himself against Eric, but this time, his brother was ready for him, and Eric’s fist caught him squarely on the chin.

  Stars exploded before Adam’s eyes as the pain ricocheted through his head, and his knees buckled, sending him sprawling to the ground. But Lori’s anguished cry galvanized him against the weakness, and he shook his ham
mering head to clear it.

  He came up on all fours to see Eric and Lori struggling. She’d gotten the reins untied, and he was trying to pull them out of her hands.

  “You lying bitch!” Eric was saying as he fought with her. “Did you think you’d get away with this?”

  The horse was dancing restlessly and the buggy lurched forward, telling Adam the brake had been released. Forcing his protesting body to move, he lunged to his feet, but not before Eric took hold of Lori and dragged her out of the buggy.

  She screamed as he threw her to the ground, and Adair roared in rage as he forced his rubbery legs to propel him to Lori’s defense.

  His cry startled Eric who looked up to see his brother staggering towards him. It was like a nightmare in which everything happens too slowly. Adam’s legs were like lead and even though he thought he was running, he wasn’t fast enough, because Eric had time to reach for his pistol ant pull it out of its holster and point it at Adam’s chest.

  For one horrible moment, Adam knew he was going to die, but worse than that was the awful knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to save Lori and the baby from Eric. In the same instant that this thought formed with crystal clarity in his mind, he saw Eric smile. The same terrible smile he’d worn the other time, when he’d lain in wait to kill the brother who he imagined had stolen everything from him.

  But just as Eric’s thumb pulled back the hammer, Lori sprang up from the ground and grabbed his arm. The pistol exploded, belching flame and smoke, but the bullet went wild. Glass shattered somewhere behind him just as Adam threw himself against his brother. Frantically, he wrestled the pistol out of his hand.

  Eric was still struggling, still fighting, but the sound of Lori’s screams and someone else’s—Sudie?—drew Adam’s attention.

  “The baby!” Lori was screaming and pointing and then Adam saw, too. The gunshot had frightened the horse, and it had bolted, dragging the buggy and the baby still inside of it along behind.

  Adam drew back his fist and slammed it into Eric’s face, and mercifully, Eric went limp beneath him. He forced himself up, taking in the situation with one quick glance. The buggy swayed dangerously from side to side as it bounced behind the horse, and the horse was heading blindly for the fields where the rough ground would surely send the buggy toppling over.

  Then he saw the horse that Oscar had saddled, straining against its tether, equally as frightened by the gunshot but unable to escape. Adam ran for it.

  He snatched the reins loose, jerking the animal’s head down so it wouldn’t rear, then jamming his left foot into the stirrup. Ignoring the tearing agony in his damaged leg as he forced it to take his weight, he threw himself up into the saddle. The horse needed no urging to go racing off.

  Although Adam hadn’t ridden in years, he instinctively remembered how to guide the animal, directing it toward the careening buggy that had now reached the harvested fields. As he watched helplessly, the wheels struck a furrow, and it jounced skyward. Adam lost his breath with terror as it landed, striking the ground with a bone-jarring jolt that sent it crashing over on its side.

  “Matthew!” he screamed as he urged his horse on then awed on the reins to bring his mount to a sliding halt beside the other horse that was kicking frantically against the traces in an attempt to rid itself of the dead weight of the buggy so it could truly flee.

  Somehow, Adam got hold of the animal’s harness and dragged it to a halt. Although he wanted to scream out his own terror—where in God’s name was Matthew?—he somehow managed to speak softly and soothingly to the hysterical animal.

  Matthew, where are you? he wondered desperately, and dear God, why aren’t you crying? But all he could hear as he slid down from his saddle was Lori’s keening wail as she raced toward him across the field, holding her skirts up with both hands as she ran.

  Others were coming behind her, but he took no time to notice who it was. His bad leg had collapsed under him in searing agony when he hit the ground, and he needed all his strength to hold himself upright and keep the frightened horse from bolting again.

  “Matthew, can you hear me?” he cried, knowing even as he did so that even if the baby could hear him, he wouldn’t understand. Dear heaven, if anything had happened to the boy, how would he bear Lori’s grief, much less his own?

  “Matthew, baby, where are you, sweetheart?” Lori was screaming, nearly hysterical herself as she swooped down on the wreckage of the buggy.

  That’s when he saw it, the basket Matthew had been in lying crushed beneath the overturned wheel. His blood went cold and rushed from his head, and for a moment he was afraid he might pass out from the horror of knowing the little body would be just as crushed beneath it.

  Lori was trying to lift the buggy, using all her feeble strength. Screaming the baby’s name over and over, she was unable to budge it. Instinctively, Adam moved to help her but his damaged leg refused to carry him, and he fell to his knees in the dirt and had to roll to keep from being trample by the terrified horse which was still trying frantically escape.

  Then the buggy moved, righting itself, and Adam looked up to find that Oscar had put his considerable strength the task. Lori scrambled beneath it before it was even upright, lunging for the remains of the basket, lifting it and throwing it aside before Adam could warn her not to look.

  Then he heard her cry of anguish and knew he was too late.

  “You killed him!” Sudie cried. Adam looked up in surprise. He hadn’t known she was there, and then he saw that Eric was with her. His face was flushed from running, and he didn’t seem to realize that Sudie had thrown the accusation at him.

  “You killed your own baby!” Sudie shrieked again, slapping at him again and again with all her might, as if she would beat him to death.

  But of course her strength was no match for his. He tried to swat her aside like a pesky fly, but when that didn’t work, he grabbed her arms in a brutal grip that made her wince with pain.

  “Stop it, old woman!” he shouted into her face.

  “You killed him!” she screamed again, defiantly.

  “I didn’t do any such thing! The horse bolted! It wasn’t my fault!”

  “Nothing is ever your fault, is it?” Sudie replied furiously, even as she struggled fruitlessly to break his grip on her wrists. “You’re always the innocent one, aren’t you?”

  “Shut up!” Eric shook her.

  But she didn’t shut up. “You’re a devil, and it’s all my fault!” The tears were streaming down her face. “It was my sin! Why did that little baby have to die for my sin!”

  “Sudie, hush!” Oscar warned, but she didn’t appear to hear him, or else she didn’t care.

  “I should’ve kept you!” she sobbed into Eric’s face. “I thought the worst thing in the world was to be born a slave, but I was wrong! Look at you! You ain’t even human!”

  Eric pushed her away in disgust. “Stupid bitch! Stupid nigger bitch!”

  “And if I’m your mother, what does that make you?” Sudie cried.

  From the corner of his eye, Adam saw Lori reaching for the baby’s broken body. He wanted to stop her, but he knew he couldn’t reach her in time. Even still, he began to pull himself up, knowing he had to get to her.

  “You’re crazy!” Eric told Sudie, backing away from her, as if she were a poisonous snake.

  “I must be for thinkin’ you’d be better off if you was raised a white man!”

  “What are you talking about?” Eric’s voice was shrill with a terror that had nothing to do with what had just happened to his child.

  Ignoring the tearing agony in his leg, Adam lurched toward Lori, knowing he had to hold her.

  “I’m talking about that night when you was born!” Sudie said, her voice even more shrill than Eric’s. “There was two babies borned that night, one to me and one to the mistress. My baby was strong and healthy, but hers was dead!”

  “No!” Eric shrieked. “I’m alive!”

  “That’s cause you was my bab
y! The mistress was too sick to know, so I switched them, told her she had a fine, big boy but her boy was dead.”

  “No!” Eric was shaking his head frantically. Adan watched in horrified fascination as he half-crawled, half limped to where Lori knelt in the dirt cradling her dead baby “I’m white!”

  “So am I!” Sudie reminded him, holding out her arm am pulling up her sleeve to reveal an arm even paler than Eric’s “I’m still a slave, though, even though I was whiter than the mistress. But I knowed my baby would be white enough to pass, if I could give him a chance, so I gave him to her and took her dead baby for mine.”

  Eric’s eyes were wild. “Liar! You’re a lying bitch!” he cried. “I’m a Ross! Chet Ross’s son!”

  Sudie’s face might have been carved of stone. “Yes, you is. Chet Ross’s son and mine, ’cause he was a rapist just like you. And now everybody’ll know that you’re a nigger just like me!”

  Eric cried out, a horrible sound, as if his soul was being ripped from his chest, and then he turned and ran.

  Adam stared after him in horror for a long moment, unable to quite comprehend the story he had just heard on top of everything else. But then he heard Lori sobbing, and none of it even mattered anymore. He threw himself to the ground beside her, hardly even feeling the pain that burned like fire in his ruined leg.

  He’d be a cripple now for sure, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except Lori and their son. She cradled the small, limp body to her breast as she wept. The little face was so white and still, and Adam could feel his heart breaking in his chest as his own tears began to fall.

  He reached out, wrapping his arm around her as he used the other to push himself up, and then he and Lori jumped as another explosion split the stillness. He looked up in the direction of the sound, and he saw his brother back by the house, standing in a cloud of smoke from the shot. Had he fired at them? Was he still trying to kill Adam?

  Before he could make sense of it, Eric’s body crumpled and fell, and to his horror he understood: Eric had shot himself.