Leading the Way

by Constance Masters

  “Pancakes?”

  “Not this morning, Jordan.”

  “It’s not fair. That’s why they call Lucky Charms lucky, because if you get some you’re lucky and if you don’t you’re not.”

  “Jordan, pick out of the cereals on the table and stop being rude,” Zach said.

  Jordan begrudgingly pointed to some Raisin Bran and Erin poured it into her bowl. She almost giggled at the child’s dramatic show of having trouble chewing the raisins.

  “They’re too hard and they hurt my throat.”

  “Is your throat sore, Jordie?” Erin asked, feeling her daughter’s forehead. “She does feel a little warm.”

  Jordan sneezed. “I have a cold.”

  “Maybe she should stay home today.”

  Zach looked unconvinced, but after feeling her forehead himself he agreed that she was a little warm.

  “If you stay home today you have to stay in bed,” he said firmly.

  “Okay,” Jordan said, nodding.

  “Off you go then. Back to bed.”

  “I’ll see you later. Call me if she gets worse,” Zach said, kissing Erin goodbye. “Come on, Avvy, let’s go.”

  “I can’t believe she gets to stay home because she didn’t get the cereal she wanted,” Erin heard Avvy say as she followed her Dad out the door.

  ***

  Erin found the morning quite peaceful. She looked in on Jordan and found her sound asleep, so she switched the TV on low and began sorting laundry. A rerun of ‘The King of Queens’ was on. She giggled. It was a funny show. She could only imagine how fast she would be over Zach’s knee if she shouted at him like Carrie did Doug. She hit the mute button when the phone rang.

  “Hey.” It was Sienna. “How are you feeling today?” Erin said.

  “Fine. Last night I was tired, but I’m fine today.”

  “No attack of the guilts?”

  “Hell no. What’s there to feel guilty about?”

  “I don’t know. I’m being silly, I guess. We didn’t really do anything wrong.”

  “No, we didn’t.”

  “Do you think we’ll do anything wrong next week?”

  “No idea,” Sienna said. “Anything could happen with Carol. It could be something really boring like a picnic in the park, or it could be something you would never think of doing in a million years.”

  “Oh God. It’s kind of exciting, isn’t it? I mean, I know Zach would have my hide if he found out.”

  “Whatever it is, it’ll be fun and worth it.”

  “You do know where we live, right?”

  “How would we get caught?”

  “I don’t know. I just know that if I do something bad, like really bad then I’ll have it written all over my face. I’m a terrible liar.”

  “You don’t have to really lie. Just talk about the bowling. That’s why we do it.”

  “I guess.”

  “Hon, you can’t mention it to him now, or there’ll really be trouble and not just for you. You’ll be taking the rest of us down with you.”

  “I don’t want to do that.”

  “It’ll be fun. I promise. I better go, anyway. Oh, I was supposed to invite you over to Carol’s for coffee.”

  “Sorry, I’d love to, but I have Jordan home sick.”

  “No problem. We’ll catch up next time.”

  “Yeah sure. Bye! Thanks for ringing.”

  “Bye.”

  Erin hung up the phone with a smile but when she turned to go back to the laundry Jordan was standing there. “Hi, Jordie, feel better?”

  “A bit,” Jordan said. “What are you gonna do that’s bad Mom?”

  “What makes you say that?” As if she didn’t know. The child obviously heard the conversation.

  “I heard you. You said that if you do something really bad you can’t lie about it cos your terrible.”

  “That’s not exactly what I said.”

  “I heard you. Mom why is it ok for grown-ups to do bad things and not for kids?”

  “It isn’t.”

  “Then why are you gonna be bad?”

  “I think you need to go back to bed,” Erin said. “Daddy said if you stayed home, you had to stay there remember?”

  “I just got up to go to the bathroom.”

  “Have you been?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then go back to bed, honey,” Erin said.

  “I wanna watch TV for a while.”

  “No Jordie, you need to do as you’re told.”

  “If I told Daddy what you said would he be mad?”

  “There’s no need to tell Daddy. This is grown-up talk.”

  “What if I forget and it just comes out?”

  “It won’t.”

  “It might.”

  Erin looked at this little bitty thing with her messy but gorgeous dark hair and green eyes. She was her little angel. This little thing wasn’t capable of blackmail was she?

  “I won’t tell Daddy if you let me watch TV.”

  She was, and Erin had no one to blame but herself. This was a lesson that she herself had taught her and now she was paying the price. “One hour and then it’s back to bed.”

  “Can I have some ice-cream?”

  Erin sighed. “One scoop. For your throat.”

  Jordan smiled. “Can I hold the remote?”

  She had created a monster and she had no idea how to reverse this situation without telling the entire story.

  The phone rang again, it was Zach. “Hi,” she said, trying to make her voice sound normal.

  “Hey, how’s our princess?”

  “She’s not too bad,” she answered.

  “Does she need anything?”

  “Nothing you can get at a store,” Erin said.

  ***

  “The little devil went back to school today. She wrangled two full days off school and I’m not entirely sure she felt sick at all,” Erin said.

  “Wow, I don’t think Charity would even think of that now and she’s older,” Jen said.

  “She’s smart, street smart. Comes from living in the city and having a mother that teaches you it’s okay to lie.” Erin sighed.

  “Don’t stress,” Carol said. “Kids are all about getting what they want. You just have to find her price.”

  “Yeah the thing she wants more than anything and then make her sign a contract or something,” Sienna said.

  “She’s eight!” Erin said.

  “You are really clutching at straws,” Jen said with a giggle.

  “I want my turn!” Carol screeched.

  “You’ll get your turn,” Erin said with a grin. “Hopefully she forgets about it.”

  “Or you’ll be on the lookout for something she does that’s even bigger so you can blackmail her back,” Carol said.

  “That’ll work,” Sienna said.

  Chapter 8

  Nothing did come up that she would have over Jordan, except maybe the blackmail itself, but that couldn’t happen. Still they made it through to the following Wednesday.

  After an hour and a half in the morning to get her family out of the house, Erin was waiting out the front for the girls. It felt more like a day and half. There was a nervous excitement in her belly that she hadn’t felt since she skipped school for the first time.

  ***

  “Okay, we’re all here now, Carol. What are we doing today?”

  “Well. There’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I know that’s a big ask of everyone, but I want to do it really bad.”

  “Sounds ominous?” Jen said. “Come on, give. What? When, who?”

  “Here’s the thing. My mom died when I was twelve. It broke my heart. My dad used to show me pictures from when they were young. From when my mom was young. So many pictures of them camping or of my mom with her friends. They were like hippies. Long messy hair and sweat bands, tie die shirts. It was the seventies. I want to feel like that.”

  “Well that’s not a big ask at all,” Sienna said.

 
“I wanna try something I’ve never tried before, I wanna buy some pot and smoke it.”

  “Oh my God! Isn’t that illegal?” Jen asked.

  “No they legalised it,” Carol said.

  “Would Crystal approve?”

  “Of course not but I just want to try it once, I don’t intend to form a habit.”

  “I don’t know,” Erin said. Her tummy flipped. Although she knew it was wrong, the thought excited her.

  “We agreed,” Jen said. “Fair’s fair. What can happen?”

  “Exactly,” Carol said. “You only live once, right?”

  ***

  “I won,” Erin said as they got back into Sienna’s car after their token game.

  “You’re not bad. Maybe you should join a real league,” Jen said.

  “This is way more fun. Nothing like a little danger to get the juices flowing,” Erin said.

  “TMI.”

  “I didn’t mean literally.”

  “Which way do you want me to turn?” Sienna asked.

  “Right. I did some research on the net and apparently the best place to get stuff is the hill. It’s where all the college kids hang out. They grow it in their frat houses.”

  “Then why are we turning right? Why don't you want to go to the hill?”

  “Because I’d rather go to the park and buy from the homeless hippies. May as well give a little back right?”

  “Good a place as any I guess,” Jen said. “How much money do we need?”

  “I’m not sure but I think it’s around twenty five dollars for a bud.”

  “What’s a bud?” Sienna asked.

  “How should I know? That’s why I don’t know how much it’ll be. We’ll have to take a look at it and see if it’s enough.”

  “How much is legal?” Jen asked.

  “About an ounce.”

  “Well an ounce of butter is about a tablespoon isn’t it?” Sienna asked.

  “I don’t think you can compare butter and pot,” Erin said. “One’s like dried leaves and one’s dense and fatty.”

  “Maybe like tea?” Jen asked. “How much tea is in a tea bag.”

  “You people are just not fitting into my hippie daydream at all. I don’t think hippies drink tea or measure their hash on spoons. I don’t think they need to know how much butter is in an ounce ever.”

  “They do if they make hash brownies,” Sienna said.

  “She has a point,” Erin said with a grin. This whole conversation was so ridiculous that it was funny.

  Carol rolled her eyes. “I think we’re nearly there.”

  “How do you know?” Jen asked.

  “I see a park,” Carol said.

  They parked the car and got out.

  “What exactly are we looking for?” Erin asked.

  “Homeless hippies,” Carol said.

  “Do they look like homeless hippies from our time or are they still the same as the seventies?” Sienna asked.

  “You know what? I don’t know. I don’t think they have a dress code,” Carol said.

  They wandered through the park until they saw a group of young people sitting against a tree. They had a sort of homemade tent thing that Erin guessed was where they slept. One guy had a weird mohawk, another had cropped blue hair and the last guy and girl both had dreads. They smiled like they already knew what the girls had come for.

  “Hi,” Carol said.

  “We would like to know if you have any pot for sale,” Sienna said.

  Carol glared at her.

  “Sorry,” she mouthed. “But you don’t get if you don’t ask right?”

  “Would you know where I could get a bud?” Carol asked.

  “Sure can,” The guy with the dreads said. “Lemme see your money.”

  “How much?”

  “Twenty five.”

  “Is one bud enough for four people?” Jen asked.

  “Pends on which four people.” The guy chuckled.

  “Well I guess we would like to make one joint each,” Sienna said. “But you might need to show us how to make it.”

  “Roll it,” Carol said with a roll of her eyes.

  “No problem,” one of his friends, a filthy girl with dreads, said.

  The guy got out their stuff and they all chipped in to pay for it. “Did you raid your piggy banks?” the guy asked.

  “Hey, if I want sarcasm with my sale I’ll go to Walmart, and take a full cart through the express lane,” Carol said.

  “Keep your shirt on,” the hippy slurred.

  “I’ll make it for five dollars,” the dread locked girl said.

  Erin’s eyes widened. This girl was dirty. She wouldn’t eat a sandwich that somebody made her with those hands so she certainly wasn’t going to put a smoke in her mouth that she’d touched. “I think we can manage,” she said.

  “Really?” Sienna asked.

  “How hard can it be?” Erin mouthed. Should she tell them she knew how to roll a joint? At least she used to.

  “Thanks man,” Carol said. She took the baggy, gave the guy the money and they ran back to the car.

  They sat there for a minute with the bag of dope, not really sure what to do next. “Do you have the little pieces of paper to wrap it up in?” Sienna asked.

  “No, we better go get some,” Carol said.

  “You didn’t bring any? They sell those in the market or the gas station I’m pretty sure,” Sienna said.

  “Like I was going to get them anywhere close to home. It would have gotten back to Crystal for sure.”

  “True,” Sienna agreed. “I think we should get some food, too. Don’t you get the munchies or something after?”

  “You can’t have any, hon,” Jen said to Sienna. “You’re driving.”

  “I’ll be okay. Things don’t affect me. I’ll just have one or two puffs to see what it’s like.”

  “Better make that a big bucket of chicken and a lot of fries. She’ll need something to soak it up,” Carol said.

  “It’s not liquid,” Jen said.

  “No, but it will dilute the effects in her bloodstream. Maybe.” She shrugged.

  “We better get this show on the road. We still have to get back to pick up the kids,” Erin said.

  “Once again. You people are messing with my fantasy. For the next couple of hours, we have no children. We are on a road trip, and only answer to our hippie names.”

  The girls giggled. Erin thought this was hilarious. “Can I be Sunshine?”

  “Yes, you can,” Carol said. “Jen pick a name.”

  “I’ll be Rain,” Jen said.

  “Sienna?”

  “Um, I think I’d like to be Stardust,” Sienna said.

  “Great. I’ll be Moonbeam.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere. Let’s go get our supplies Sienna, I mean Stardust,” Jen said. She poked her tongue out at Carol. “Sorry Moonbeam I forgot.”

  ***

  They’d bought what they needed, and were on their way to find a lookout where they could partake of their hippie party in peace. Erin fingered the packet of cigarettes she’d bought and stuffed in her purse without the others seeing. She’d only had pot a few times in college but that seemed a bit more than the other girls had. In fact, she didn’t think they’d done it at all. Maybe she’d forgotten how to roll one, she’d have to try it to find out. What she did know was that you needed tobacco to cut in with the hash.

  “So, Sunshine,” Carol said. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

  “You don’t miss a trick, do you?” Erin grinned. “I don’t smoke.”

  “I’m not judging you Sunshine. Peace out.” Carol held up two fingers on each hand, and Erin burst out laughing.

  “I got the cigarettes so we can cut some tobacco in with the pot,” she said.

  “Hold the phone!” Sienna said, swerving the car a little. “You’ve toked before?”

  “You use words like toke?” Carol asked.

  “No, but Stardust does,” Sienna said with a grin.
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br />   “That’s so outta sight, Sunshine. You actually know how to make a joint. I’m impressed,” Carol said, wrapping an arm around her.

  “Thank you,” Erin said.

  “Time to mellow out,” Jen said as Sienna pulled up under a sign that said Boulder Scenic Lookout.

  Carol tossed the baggy to Erin. “You’re on, Sunshine, do your stuff.”

  “I hope I can remember. It’s been a while. A long while, Moonbeam, but I’ll do my best.” Erin undid the packet of cigarettes and then nervously spread her purse on her lap for a flat surface. She took out four papers. “I’ll make four but to get the true hippie experience I think we should pass one around.”

  “Pass the pipe around…” Sienna sang.

  “Yeah, we don’t have a pipe, hon,” Erin said.

  “I know, but it’s the same thing.” The girls watched in awe as Erin picked out woody bits and sprinkled tobacco over the top of the weed. She rubbed it through her fingers lightly.

  “It’s kind of like making biscuits,” Jen said.

  “I’ve never made biscuits from scratch,” Sienna said.

  “Will you women stop tittering about biscuits,” Carol yelled.

  “That’s not very chill of you there, Moonbeam,” Jen said.

  “And that’s not very hippie of you, Rain. I think chill is a gangster word.”

  Erin rolled the first paper into a cone shape and sealed the edges. “There, I did it,” she said happily.

  “Right on, Sunshine!” Carol said.

  “Happy to go along, but the hippie talk is a little weird,” Jen said.

  “I get to pick and I pick being hippies,” Carol bit back.

  “For fuck sake,” Jen said, shaking her head.

  “See, now you’re getting into it.”

  “Does anyone have a lighter?” Erin asked.

  “Oh, no, no lighter,” Carol said. “I can’t believe we forgot the lighter.”

  “Don’t panic,” Sienna said. “Stardust to the rescue.” She turned the car back on and pushed in the cigarette lighter.

  “Not just a shiny face stardust are you?” Carol said.

  ***

  “Anyone feel anything yet?” Jen asked.

  “Not so much,” Carol said. “You’ve done this before Sunshine? Is this what it feels like?”