Damaged Goods

by J. C. Hannigan

  I walked back into the living room. “Alright, let’s just go,” I said, trying to ignore the curious, unsurprised stares of my friends.

  “What the shit is this?” Aubrey demanded, coming to a sudden stop on my front porch.

  Marcus put his arms around her from behind. “Surprise! We wanted to arrive in style.”

  “Jesus,” I muttered, staring at the sleek black limo parked at the curb in front of my house. Kyle stood beside me, the back of his hand gently brushing against mine. I pulled my hand tighter to my side, biting down on my bottom lip.

  “Impressive, huh?” he asked me with his dimpled smile, winking. He leaned in close to my ear, his words hushed so that only I could hear. “You should get used to riding around in limos. You’re going to be a star.”

  I rolled my eyes, shaking my head with slight amusement. Kyle just didn’t stop trying. It made Grayson’s absence feel all the more prominent. “Let’s go,” I said, urging Aubrey and Marcus on. The six of us piled into the beautiful limo. The leather felt cold against my legs, and I shivered. Kyle moved in closer. “What are you doing?” I asked, shuffling over.

  Kyle paused. “You’re shivering,” he replied, cocking an eyebrow up.

  It was true: I was shivering. I hadn’t thought to buy a coat, and I didn’t particularly want to bring my poofy jacket. I wasn’t sure what I would do with it once we got to the dance.

  “Don’t get any ideas,” I warned him, crossing my arms and glaring out the window. I was angry that Grayson hadn’t shown up. I felt a little embarrassed, and my excitement for the dance and anticipation for a fantastic night had melted away. I told myself that I could still have fun, that Grayson might be at the dance already, but hope is a finicky thing to force yourself to feel. Sometimes, you need a sign.

  So far, my sign for the night was not a positive one.

  We weren’t the only ones to arrive in a limo, but it was still an interesting experience. I fished my ticket out from my clutch, following my friends into the school.

  The gym was transformed by Aubrey’s decorating skills. She’d turned the whole thing into a Winter Wonderland with some help from the student council decorating committee and me.

  Music pumped from the stage, where a DJ was spinning records. “Check On It” by Beyoncé was half over.

  The dance floor was already full of students, all dressed to the nines and dancing with one another. I spotted Lindsay, Zoe and Kaylee from across the room. Lucas was lingering by her elbow, but she wasn’t really paying any attention to him. She was staring at us with an injured look on her face. She turned her head quickly, dragging her eyes away from us.

  I didn’t see Grayson’s face among the students. My heart sank in my chest.

  Aubrey placed a hand on my arm. “He’ll turn up,” she told me with confidence. “In the meantime, let’s go dance!” She grabbed my hand and Alicia’s, dragging us both out to the dance floor as “Dance Dance” by Fall Out Boy boomed out of the speakers.

  After dancing with Aubrey and Alicia to several fast songs, the DJ put on a slow one. “Lips of An Angel” by Hinder came on. Hearing it made the ache in my heart intensify. I couldn’t help but recall the last time I’d heard this song, at Zoe’s Halloween party. Kyle and I had danced to it, and we had kissed. It was in that moment that I realized that nothing I felt for Kyle could ever compare to what I felt for Grayson.

  It then brought back memories of what happened after, of Grayson taking me away from the party. Memories of that evening made my belly tighten with remembered desire.

  Kyle met my eyes, smiling. “Do you mind if I have this dance?” he asked me politely, bowing and holding out his hand to me. I took a moment to glance around, not seeing Grayson’s face anywhere.

  I sighed. “Sure,” I shrugged, accepting his hand with resignation. Kyle was only trying to cheer me up and make me feel less alone. Unfortunately, there was only one thing that would take the dull ache away: Grayson’s arrival. I wanted to believe that he would show up; I wanted to trust him, but he had let me down so many times before.

  Kyle put his hands on my hips, keeping the space between us for my own comfort. I watched while Alicia and Cam resumed a similar stance, awkwardly dancing from a distance. Marcus and Aubrey flowed together like water, unafraid of getting close to one another.

  The only person I wanted to get close to was Grayson, and he still wasn’t here. It was over halfway through. I sighed again, trying to enjoy myself anyway because this was my last semi-formal. I wouldn’t get to do this again. Besides, Alicia was here with a friend as well, and she was enjoying herself. I could enjoy myself with my friends, too.

  The song ended and Kyle gave me a longing look, as if he wanted to pull me closer to him. All I could think about was Grayson, and how I wouldn’t enjoy myself until I knew why. Why would he make a promise only to break it? What was holding him up?

  I forced those thoughts from my head, smiling at Kyle before I went to join Aubrey and Alicia again. Something in Kyle’s expression changed as he looked behind me, making me stop and turn my head. I saw Grayson approaching us warily.

  My eyes drank him in. He was dressed in black dress pants, a black button up shirt, and a black tie. Light reflected off his icy blue eyes as they roamed the length of my body, coming to rest on my lips.

  “Nice of you to join us.” Kyle’s voice was bitter. Grayson’s eyes slowly slid from me to him, seeing how close Kyle was standing. The look in Grayson’s eyes changed from appreciating me to hardened as he eyed Kyle with disdain.

  “Always a pleasure,” Grayson responded dryly. His fists clenched at his sides.

  “Thanks for the dance, Kyle,” I said pointedly as I forced a smile.

  “Yeah, no problem. I’m just your regular old stand in,” Kyle muttered, shaking his head as he walked away. I dropped my gaze and bit my lip, feeling bad for hurting Kyle although I hadn’t intended to and I wasn’t quite sure how I had managed to pull it off.

  My heart was thumping in my chest as I timidly looked up at Grayson. His expression softened and he closed the space between us.

  “What’s Left of Me” by Nick Lachey came on. I turned fully to face him, my chest rising and falling as his eyes dropped down to my legs. He licked his lips quickly, rolling the hoop on his bottom lip as he grinned at me.

  I stepped into his arms and he brought them up around me, pulling me close to him. I closed my eyes against his shoulder. He felt like home.

  “You’re breathtaking,” he said, his lips against my ear as he softly swayed us back and forth to the music. Goose bumps raised on my flesh in response to his warm breath on my ear.

  “You look pretty good yourself,” I responded. I tilted my head back to look at him. “Why were you late?” I asked.

  “Long story. I’ll tell you later,” Grayson promised, his eyes conveying truth and apology. I exhaled, the disappointment and sadness I’d felt prior to his arrival releasing as easily as the air from my lungs. He was here now, and that’s all that mattered.

  * * *

  The dance itself wasn’t too bad. When it ended at eleven, all of the students piled into their vehicles and headed to Zoe’s house for the after party. Since the dance had started, three inches of snow had piled up along the sidewalks.

  I paused at the doors, staring at all the snow. I was already shivering, wearing Grayson’s jacket like a cloak. I regretted my decision to wear skimpy heels. They would do absolutely nothing to protect my feet from the cold. I wasn’t even standing in the snow yet, and my toes were curling up in a feeble attempt to keep warm.

  Grayson was holding onto my hand, watching me thoughtfully. Without saying a word, he swept me up in his arms, cradling me against his chest as he walked towards the truck.

  “What about the limo?” Aubrey called from behind us.

  “I’ll meet you guys there!” I called back over Grayson’s shoulder, a smile on my face.

  He somehow managed to get the passenger door unlocked and opened wit
h ease, and he gently set me down on the bench seat, a tender look on his face.

  “Thanks,” I whispered, my lashes fluttering against my cheek in response to his closeness.

  Grayson drove to Zoe’s house carefully, finding parking near the front. He jumped out and walked over to me quickly. He swept me back up into his arms again, carried me across the snowy driveway and up to Zoe’s door.

  “Ring the bell,” he told me, and I pressed on it gently with the toe of my shoe. The doorbell chimed, and a couple moments later Zoe opened the door.

  “Hello, Grayson.” She smiled sensually before her gaze flickered to me. “And Everly,” she added without enthusiasm.

  Grayson stepped inside, setting me down on the tiles of Zoe’s front foyer. People were still starting to arrive, but the music was already blasting through the speakers in the living room.

  He nodded once in acknowledgment, not looking at her. His eyes found mine and he grinned, reaching out to take my hand. He was getting more and more comfortable with publicly claiming me.

  The door opened behind us and Aubrey, Alicia, Marcus, Cam, and Kyle came in. Kyle had his hands in his pocket and a scowl on his face. He knocked his shoulder against Grayson as he pushed passed, heading toward the kitchen where the keg was. Grayson glared at him, and I nudged him.

  “Behave?” I pleaded.

  Grayson’s eyes watched Kyle’s retreating back until he disappeared into the kitchen. Then he turned those incredible blues on me. “I’ll try.” He grinned mischievously. He raised my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against my skin before he dropped both our hands back to our sides.

  “Let’s go,” Aubrey said, squeezing my shoulders. The six of us edged into the living room. Kyle was already leaning against the mantel and tossing back his drink, still scowling in our direction.

  “What’s wrong with him?” I whispered to Aubrey.

  She followed my gaze, seeing Kyle.”I guess he thought Grayson wouldn’t show up.” She shrugged. I bit my lip, feeling guilty.

  “Do you want a drink?” Grayson asked, and I nodded. He was still holding my hand as he led me into the kitchen. He grabbed two red cups and filled one with vodka and Sprite for me, and whiskey for him. I took mine from him and we returned to the living room.

  The number of people had doubled since we’d left. The lights were dimmed, the music cranked, and the dance floor was full of bodies swaying to the music in a more provocative manner than they’d moved at the dance. Without the teacher supervision, girls and guys were grinding up to one another, moving like they were starring in a music video or about to have at each other in the middle of the makeshift dance floor.

  Aubrey squealed, spotting me. She separated from Marcus and grabbed my hand. “It’s our song! Come dance!” she demanded.

  The next couple of hours passed by in a blur. I drank one more vodka and Sprite, and I was only just beginning to feel tipsy.

  “I’ll be right back, okay?” Grayson said in my ear. I nodded, watching him head out of the living room toward the bathroom. I was really glad that he showed up.

  “Shots, bitches!” Lindsay’s voice shouted in my ear, startling me. She held a tray full of seventy or eighty Jell-o shooters, and offered them up to us. Her eyes were watery and she looked completely blitzed. Alicia, Aubrey and I each grabbed a shot, grinning at one another. “Don’t be such pussies!” Lindsay taunted, thrusting the tray at us again. We all took another shot. I twisted the tiny plastic shot glass against my tongue, getting every last bit of the Jell-o and vodka out in one fell swoop.

  Lindsay laughed almost manically, twirling away from us.

  “That was a little weird.” Alicia frowned, watching as Lindsay pulled the same thing on everyone else in the room, thrusting the Jell-o shooters at them and egging them to take more.

  “She’s just drunk.” Aubrey shrugged, still dancing.

  Time seemed to float away from me as I danced with my friends in a circle. Everything looked brighter, bolder. The music sounded different in my ears, as if I could hear every single sound that went into making the songs at once. It was so intense that I involuntarily brought my hands up to clasp over my ears. I could feel Grayson’s body as he came up behind me. His hands went out to my hips, tugging me back against him.

  I bowed my head back and came to the startling realization that I wasn’t dancing with Grayson.

  Kyle’s hands were on my hips still, and he was grinning. “You looked so good dancing. I just had to join in.”

  I stepped away from him, frowning. He smelled like liquor and his eyes were glassy. “I’m with Grayson.”

  “You might want to tell him that,” Kyle retorted.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded, my good mood evaporating. My heart was pounding frantically in my chest.

  Kyle opened his mouth to talk, but fell silent as Grayson returned to my side. His eyes narrowed angrily in response to the formidable look on Grayson’s face. It was clear that he had witnessed Kyle coming up to me, and that he wasn’t pleased about it. They looked at each other with mutual hatred.

  “Kyle, if you touch her again, I’ll break your hands,” Grayson said, his voice low and full of promise.

  “She deserves so much more than the scraps you throw at her,” Kyle spat angrily, glaring at Grayson. Grayson’s eyebrows shot up, and I winced at the expression on his face. The verbal punch had hit him where it hurt, and enraged him. I put my hand on Grayson’s chest, trying to prevent the inevitable.

  The punch happened so quickly that my attempt at preventing it was feeble. One moment, Grayson was subdued in front of me, and the next minute, his fist was slamming against Kyle’s jaw with a shocking intensity. Kyle’s head flew back on impact and he stumbled. He staggered back a few steps before he regained his footing. Time seemed to trickle by painfully slow. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and see the intensity of the light.

  Kyle slowly ran a hand across his mouth. He wiped away the blood from the split in his bottom lip and glowered at Grayson. The people at the party had moved out of the way and had formed a half circle around us, gearing up to watch a fight. Someone turned the volume of the music down, and I could hear my frantic breath.

  “You’re fucking unhinged, man,” Kyle said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Your reaction when I call you out on how you treat her is to punch me? Guess the truth hurts.”

  “Kyle, stop it,” I exclaimed, shocked. I tried to pull back on Grayson’s arm. He was like a caged animal, and Kyle’s words were only rattling him. I knew Grayson was dangerously close to completely losing it on him; I had to stop it.

  “Tell your fucking boyfriend to stop it, Everly!” Kyle retorted, his eyes hard on me. “He treats you like shit and you know it. We know it. He fucking knows it!”

  “You think you’re better for her?” Grayson scoffed, staying still only because my hands were pressing hard against him, grounding him.

  “I guess that doesn’t really matter, does it?” Kyle asked, raising his eyes to meet mine. “Because she’s with you…for now. But she’ll open her eyes. Sooner or later, you’ll let her down one too many times, and I’ll be here.”

  My hands were no longer grounding Grayson. He darted out and around me, his fist colliding with the side of Kyle’s mouth. This time, Kyle fell against Zoe’s coffee table. The wood broke as Kyle landed on it, his eyes closed. The punch had knocked him out.

  “What the hell?” Marcus yelled, rushing forward with Aubrey. They kneeled down on either side of Kyle’s head.

  “Grayson!” I shouted, falling on my knees in front of Kyle. He was breathing softly, his eyes closed almost in peaceful slumber. I glanced back up at Grayson, my expression completely baffled. His chest was heaving with exertion, and his eyes were swirling with rage and torment. He watched me on my knees before Kyle with a damaged look in his eyes, as if he had taken me rushing to Kyle’s side to check on him as a rejection.

  I opened my mouth, but before any words could come out,
Grayson was storming out the door.

  “Go,” Aubrey whispered, her brow furrowed. I stood up, racing toward the door. I didn’t stop to grab my coat. My slim high heels slipped against the ice. I regained my footing and continued stumbling after Grayson’s retreating form.

  “Where are you going?” I demanded. “You can’t just knock someone out and leave, Grayson! What if he’s hurt?”

  Grayson whirled on me, his eyes flashing with anger and hurt. “What if I don’t give a fuck about Kyle? Huh, Everly?”

  I pursed my lips, shocked at the anger in his eyes. “What about me?”

  Grayson looked at me, his handsome features twisted with anguish. “I can’t, Everly,” he finally said after several minutes of silence.

  I stood in Zoe’s driveway and watched as he drove away, never breaking or looking back.

  Chapter Sixteen

  AFTER GRAYSON LEFT, I stood outside in the snow for another ten minutes. I almost expected him to come back. My teeth started to chatter and my body started to convulse, so I reluctantly went inside.

  I checked on Kyle and then I called my sister and pleaded with her to come pick me up. I locked myself in the bathroom, the tears pouring down my face, until she texted me saying she was in the driveway. Everything hurt so much, and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get home.

  I sobbed uncontrollably the entire way home. I felt as if my heart was shattering into thousands of little, jagged pieces. Julia tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t know why I was reacting this way.

  She got me home and quietly took me upstairs to my room. I crashed almost immediately, and didn’t wake up until 5:00 p.m. the next day, when Julia shook me awake.

  “First of all, what in the hell happened last night?” she demanded, sitting down on my bed. “You really freaked me out.”

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Where are Mom and Dad?”

  “Dad’s at Home Depot, and Mom’s at work,” Julia replied. “Now spill,” she added, crossing her arms and glaring menacingly at me.