Uncertainty

by Bella Baird

  “This is where you’ll be working when you’re not meeting with the other designers or Mr. Beringer,” said Veronica as she pointed to a large cubicle in a far corner of the room.

  It backed up to both walls and had a smaller opening, meaning that she’d have more privacy. No one could walk up behind her. She was overjoyed with this development. Not only did it mean that she didn’t have to spend an unbearable amount of time with Trent, but it also meant that she would have a fair amount of privacy while she carried out her work.

  “Let’s take you to meet your team!” exclaimed Veronica.

  “How big is this group?” Alice asked.

  “You’ll work with 10 other designers on your tasks. How big of a team were you imagining?” Veronica asked as she noticed Alice’s calmed appearance.

  “I envisioned about 30 people, most of them older and more experienced in the field,” Alice replied truthfully, which caused Veronica some laughter.

  Alice was a bit relieved to hear that the reality was much more reasonable than her overactive imagination. She’d gotten nervous when she walked into the room and saw how many designers worked for Jitter. Veronica took her to the desks of all 10 people she’d oversee. She introduced Alice to Rudy, Jessica, Melanie, Tom, Randeep, Katie, Beth, Jake, Alisha, and Kevin. Many of them were new to the company, and some appeared to be even more nervous than Alice had been. However, everyone seemed to have a great attitude. Alice thought she might like this job after all. Finally, Veronica took her back up to Trent’s office to receive briefing on the work for the first week.

  “Okay, I’m going back into my office while Mr. Beringer takes over from here,” Veronica told her as she walked right across the hall.

  Alice knocked on the door, hearing quick footsteps immediately afterward. Trent yanked the door open to welcome her. He had a look of sheer delight on his face, which worried Alice again. Trent wore slim black dress pants with a sky blue button up shirt. His tie had large black polka dots on a solid purple background. Inside each dot was the face of a different puppy. Seeing this, Alice let out a guffaw that she instantly regretted.

  “What’s funny?” Trent asked her

  “Well, it’s your tie,” she answered shyly.

  “Oh, yeah. I forgot I was wearing this. I like to mix things up a little bit. I can’t let myself be taken too seriously. That’s one thing I didn’t bargain for when I started this company. Even Veronica has refused to call me anything other than Mr. Beringer since she started here. Plus…you know how much I love dogs,” Trent went on.

  “I remember!” Alice laughed again.

  “Speaking of that, I have an old friend who wants to see you.” Trent looked back and whistled.

  Alice heard a jingling from behind Trent’s desk. Out trotted a grey and tan husky that looked like it was somewhat annoyed to be bothered. It turned its head toward Alice and Trent before bounding over.

  “Sam? Oh, my God. Sam! How are you, big boy? You’ve gotten even cuter since the last time I saw you!” Alice exclaimed.

  Sam rolled over and let Alice rub and scratch his belly. When she stopped, he grunted and leapt up to lick her face.

  “Aww, he got me! Right on the lips!” Alice wailed.

  Trent laughed heartily and told Sam to sit.

  “I can’t believe you still have him! How old is he now?” she asked Trent.

  “He’s only six years old. I didn’t really want to leave him with my mom, so I took him with me to the city. I hate to leave him home alone all day, so he comes with me to work. The perks of being the boss…Wow, it looks like he really missed you. He never greets anyone like this!” Trent said.

  “I really missed this guy, too,” Alice replied as she kneeled down to pet Sam.

  She looked up and saw Trent looking attentively at her, like he was trying to choose his next words carefully. After a moment, he turned away and sat in a nearby chair.

  Gazing down at her, Trent asked, “So how have you been since high school?”

  “Well, I made it through college unscathed. I was trying to find a decent job for four months while working full-time at St. Edward’s. That was demanding. What else? I haven’t talked to my dad for a while. After I left for college, he just sort of disappeared. I wasn’t able to reach him when I tried calling,” Alice said with a hushed sadness.

  “That must’ve been really hard for you. You were pretty close to him before,” he said empathetically.

  “It did really hurt for a while, especially because I don’t talk to my mom as much anymore. Her behavior hasn’t made the situation better. I can’t stand the way she picks at my life like she thinks I could’ve done better for myself. There’s just no winning with her,” Alice sighed. “It’s not all bad though. I’m finally doing what I set out to do. I can now say that I work for a big social networking site, and I have a great boyfriend, too.”

  “Oh…,” Trent trailed off and his face fell. “He’s a nice guy?”

  “Yeah, he’s really helped me out. Daniel is the reason I heard about this job, and he’s kept me from going insane these last four months,” Alice told him.

  “That’s good to hear. I hope he makes you happy. You really deserve that,” he said while looking at the floor.

  She immediately wanted to change the subject. Her heart pounded again. “What about you? How did you get to this point?” she asked while pointing her finger around the office.

  “My parents split not too long after I graduated. My dad left and never looked back. Because of the circumstances, my mom was able to keep the house and much of what they accumulated after marriage,” Trent revealed.

  “Circumstances?” asked Alice.

  “My dad found someone else. My parents had been fighting viciously all through my senior year, and then he revealed that he was cheating on her. She tried for a while to forgive him, but one day he packed some things and left to live with the other woman. It took my mom a long time to get over that. Her lawyer told her that there was no way she wasn’t going to get what she wanted. Too bad New York has some no fault divorce laws; she would’ve gotten a lot more,” Trent said gruffly.

  “That’s horrible,” she uttered.

  “She went through some rough patches and personality shifts, but she’s made a full recovery. She’s back to being a complete bitch again,” he whispered toward the end.

  They both laughed wildly at that. It took Alice completely by surprise. She’d never told Trent how badly she hated his mother. Alice still felt terrible about what happened between Trent’s parents, but she couldn’t forget how many snide comments his mother had made about her wardrobe and other aspects of her life.

  “She never believed I could come this far, but I did it. I came up with the idea for Jitter in my senior year of high school. Everyone said I was just wasting my time and energy. I talked to a lot of investors who didn’t think this idea would go anywhere, but look at me now! I finally found people willing to put money toward my website, and it’s because of them that this became so successful. But also because of my impeccable business practices and fantastic imagination,” Trent gloated lightheartedly.

  “Don’t get too full of yourself!” Alice shouted. “Though I bet your mom and those other investors are kicking themselves now.”

  Trent chuckled and said, “You’re absolutely right.”

  They both looked back at each other and smiled. Alice felt her heart clenching. Trent hadn’t changed much to her. Sure, he was more responsible and grown-up in appearance, but he hadn’t lost the vitality and sense of humor that he originally had. His eyes were as expressive as ever, letting Alice know hints of his mood and what he was thinking. He didn’t seem to let his success get to his head. Before this, she was afraid that he might have become more serious and arrogant. On the contrary, he seemed to have remained completely grounded regardless of the improvement of his looks, physique, and financial status. He was the same man she fell in love with years ago.

  “Let’s look over som
e things,” Trent finally told her as he stood up and walked over to his desk.

  Alice had a difficult time trying not to focus on his ass when he walked away from her. It had really plumped out from his scrawnier days. She imagined that it would be very tight and firm to the touch. I have to keep it together. There’s no way I can concentrate on my work if I think about Trent sexually or emotionally. He’s my boss now, and I have to treat him that way. Her personal and work life could become very confusing if she let her attentions run wild. Alice shook her head and attempted to clear her thoughts.

  He came back with a very thick binder that he placed on the table near Alice, and they both looked at it as he flipped it open. Sam padded over to Alice’s feet and plopped down on them.

  “Lazy dog!” Trent directed this statement to Sam. “Okay. These are all of the immediate and long-term goals for the redesign. I’ve been working on this for a few months, and it’ll give you and your team a starting point and some guidance. I also have a lot of ideas about what I’m looking for in there. You can follow them or improve them if you think you have better ideas, but you’ll always end up running your designs by me.”

  “Is there any time limit on getting through the entire binder?” Alice was concerned about her ability to keep up with the sheer number of tasks involved with the remodel.

  “Ideally, I want to have everything finalized and ready to launch in five months. That’s only a goal though. We can push that back if you all need more time to work through the details.” Trent looked at the worry evident on her face. “I know the amount of work to do seems overwhelming, but you can handle it. Remember, you have a whole team to delegate these tasks to. You’re not alone.”

  “You’re right. I’ll do my best to get through these,” Alice said confidently.

  She asked him a few more questions on the overall look he wanted to achieve. He flipped through more pages, pointing out notes and quick sketches he planned out. As he talked more, she thought she was getting a better sense of what he wanted to see and how she would bring that to reality. For another hour and a half, they discussed more of his and her ideas and expectations. Thinking about all of this future work and her newly forming inspirations was keeping her from having any sexually oriented thoughts about Trent.

  Once they reached a satisfactory stopping point, he told Alice that she could either go down to her desk and get started or leave for the day. She decided that she would go back home and decompress. She felt like she had earned some relaxation after all the excitement of the day. That way, she could better prepare herself for the next day’s labor. Alice said her goodbyes to Trent and Sam, and then she crossed the hall to chat with Veronica for a few minutes.

  The entire drive home was filled with thoughts about Trent: his voice, his laughter, every feeling she had earlier when he was near her. She couldn’t shut it off. It was like a flip had been switched when she saw him for the first time in years. Alice was aware of how absurd she was being about him. She worked for Trent now, and she had to erase all feelings for him for her and Daniel’s sake.

  The second she got to her apartment, she put on some music and started the shower. Steaming hot showers usually helped reset her mind, and she hadn’t taken a long one in a few weeks. Alice desperately needed to meditate, focusing on anything other than Trent. Unfortunately, her mind crept up to thoughts of him still.

  Her head flooded with images and sensations of his arms around her, her face pressed against his bare chest. She wondered how it would feel for their lips to touch again and for his tongue to enter her mouth. As hard as she tried to avoid these thoughts, they resurfaced again and again. She felt intense warmth radiating from her face and her pussy. Without stopping to think, she brought her fingers down to spread herself open, and then she lightly rubbed her clit in slow circles. She knew the only way to get her mind off of Trent for now was release.

  Alice went on, imagining his firm, muscular ass. She wanted to grab onto both cheeks and squeeze while he filled her up with his thick, lengthy cock. As she continued to work her clitoris with the index finger of her right hand, she massaged her tits and rubbed her nipples with the other. She loved it went Trent had sucked on her nipples during sex. They were so sensitive that she’d quiver and moisten even more.

  After some time, Alice began to feel the tightening and releasing inside of her. She was really sweating now, and the tingle started to surface around her clit. Now she placed a couple fingers inside of herself and applied pressure upward, just where she wanted it. She imagined Trent’s entire shaft sliding in and out, in and out. The rush came closer, making her legs somewhat weak. Her back hit the shower wall, and she let out a low moan, almost unaware. Alice closed her eyes, feeling the water beat against her body. The pressure building was almost unbearable. She pretended the sensation in her pussy came from Trent shoving his dick inside of her, harder and faster. Each moment brought her closer to the edge, thinking about his body against and within her. All the muscles in her body tensed up, and she sucked in a few ragged breaths.

  Then she came. The warmth rushed all throughout her legs and stomach and out of her vagina at the same time. She felt a hot pouring sensation running down her thigh, and she knew she’d squirted a little. In a daze, she barely maintained her upright posture against the wall. Alice carried on rubbing between her legs and slightly gyrating her hips. With the contractions still occurring, she let herself slide down the wall until she sat on the floor of the bathtub. While she sat there, the orgasm increased in intensity once more. She lay back and caressed her extra sensitive folds and inner thighs. Waves and waves of pleasure emanated from her pussy, and it took a little while for them to soften and slow down. Finally, she opened her eyes again and took deep breaths. Her toes curled and uncurled, and she knew she was done.

  Alice was a little light-headed as she got up and washed herself off with some soap. She couldn’t get over the ferocity of that orgasm. It was the best one she’d ever received on her own. Her knees were still weak from the aftermath when she got out of the shower at last. Holy shit. Releasing those desires was exactly what she needed to cool down after her almost obsessive thought patterns about Trent earlier. Now, she could kick back and enjoy the rest of her night.

  Alice’s phone rang from the other room while she toweled off her hair, and she rushed to pick it up. She saw that it was Daniel from his contact photo on the screen. Oh, what horrible timing. Alice answered the call.

  “Hey, baby!” she said rather breathlessly.

  “Why do you sound so out of breath? Did you run a mile or something?” Daniel asked.

  “No, no. I just got out of a really hot shower and rushed to pick up the phone,” Alice replied. “What’s up?”

  “Oh, I just wondered if I could come over tonight,” he said suggestively.

  She cringed at the awkward thought of seeing him right after masturbating to her ex-boyfriend, particularly if he expected to fool around tonight. Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve gotten more than one orgasm in a night. Maybe having sex with Daniel will really bring me down to earth again. Keep my mind from going where it shouldn’t be.

  “Yeah, I’d really like that,” Alice responded with a smile on her face. “You could make your way over whenever you want. I’ll be ready by the time you get here.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit,” Daniel said. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she replied, feeling more than a little guilty.

  He made his way over 40 minutes after they talked on the phone. When Alice opened the door, he had a grocery bag full of food supplies. He proceeded to make them both a black bean burger and quinoa meal. By the end of the night, things had turned out much better than she thought they might. She got over the awkward feeling of seeing Daniel right after fantasizing about Trent. While they talked and laughed, Trent was no longer in the forefront of her thoughts. As soon as Alice noticed this, she was relieved. She’d been a little afraid that
her feelings about Trent were more than physical. See? I just needed some alone time to get rid of my nagging sexual desires toward Trent.

  Alice really focused on what Daniel was saying, and she felt much better about the way things were going. She even felt herself becoming aroused again, to her surprise. They ate dinner closely together, their legs rubbing together under the table. Once they finished, they tossed their dishes into the sink. Daniel went into the other room and lay on Alice’s bed, looking at her expectantly. Alice returned a meaningful look and walked over to the bed. She was ready to experience a different kind of pleasure than she’d gotten in the shower earlier, and that’s exactly what she did.

  

  It had been more than a week and a half since Alice’s first day at Jitter, and things were returning to a relative normal for her. The double pleasure of having two separate orgasms in one night had knocked her hormones down a notch. She really wasn’t having the same thoughts that she had that first day. Sex with Daniel had not only been great, but it had also reaffirmed her love and physical attraction to him. She wasn’t going to let some strange emotional and bodily response to seeing her ex get in the way of what they had. It’s not that she didn’t still have an errant thought every now and then, but she wasn’t on edge the way she was before.

  What made things easier for her was that Trent left for a series of business meetings on her second day, and he wasn’t due to return for a few more hours. Alice had immensely enjoyed the time she spent working by herself and meeting with her coworkers. She’d given them many of the smaller tasks that she had little time for. Most of her attention was on the cultivation of an overall feel. After hours and hours putting together designs, she’d come a long way. Her team seemed to know exactly where she was going after a few meetings as well. They came through and delivered very good work, which they critiqued and improved a couple of times before completion.

  Reviewing all the work she and her team had done, Alice felt that Trent would be extremely pleased with their progress. Veronica looked at a few things the team put together, and she appeared to be overjoyed with everything. “I knew we made a great choice in hiring you!” she’d said.