This Kiss

by Teresa Southwick

  “I wouldn’t do that. I liked it more than anything.” And even though she’d promised it wouldn’t happen a third time, more than anything Hannah wanted to kiss him again.

  “So what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation to stick around?”

  “He’s never asked me to stay.” Hannah felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

  Her mother stared at her as if she were sixteen years old and had just said she couldn’t tie her shoes. “That’s it? You’re determined to hightail it back to California, thumbing your nose at a chance for happiness because he didn’t ask you to stay?”

  “He said the town could use my medical skills but he never once said he wanted me to stay.” Hannah blinked and sniffled.

  Her mother shook her head and sighed. “Honey, I guess you were behind the barn door when brains were being passed out.”

  “You make me sound like the class moron.”

  “When it comes to love and relationships, you are. There’s just no way to sweeten that one, honey. You’ve been so busy getting an education that you haven’t taken the time to learn about relationships.”

  “It was a distraction I couldn’t afford.”

  “Well you can afford it now,” her mother said dryly. “And here’s something to think about. The woman he loved changed the rules after the ‘I do’s.’ He lost the mother of his child to a career even after he put aside his pride and pleaded with her to stay. He’s not going to go there again. He’ll throw the baby out with the bathwater first.”

  “So you think he cares about me?”

  “All I’m saying is that you should talk to him—really talk—before you turn your back. Promise me before you do that, you’ll really think about what I said.”

  “I’ll go find him.”

  But facing him would be more difficult than a microbiology final. In spite of her best efforts, she’d hurt his son. She’d opened up a deep wound for Dev. She would talk to him.

  But the real question was—would he speak to her?

  Chapter Twelve

  Dev was standing by the corral fence, his arms folded on top as he stared at the star-filled sky. He’d tucked Ben into bed and tried to make his boy understand why Hannah had to go when he didn’t understand it either. How could he let her leave?

  He loved her.

  Then he heard the sound of light footsteps behind him and somehow knew who it was. His gut clenched as he braced for impact.

  “Dev, can I talk to you?”

  Hannah. What was there left to say?

  He knew now he’d been harboring a young man’s ideal dream of hearth, home and the woman in it wearing an apron. Hannah had made him see that in today’s world a woman’s traditional role had changed to include jobs and men had to compromise to accommodate that.

  Hannah had a job now—fifteen hundred miles away. He’d known that’s what she wanted even before that first day she’d arrived so it shouldn’t come as a shock. But the pain he felt at the thought knifed through him—in spite of everything he’d done to avoid it. He’d tried to keep from falling for her because she never planned to stay. Looking up at the bright night sky, he wondered if he was destined to keep wishing on the wrong star.

  “Dev?”

  He drew in a long breath and turned around. She stood in front of him, her hair silver in the moonlight. She was so beautiful it hurt. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “How’s Ben?”

  “He’ll be okay.”

  “I never meant to hurt him.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you know my mother and Doc are an item?” she blurted out.

  The corners of his mouth curved up almost against his will. In spite of the pain crawling from his heart clear down to his soul, she could make him smile. “Yeah. I kind of had my suspicions. He spends a lot of time here at the ranch.”

  “You could have said something to me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I feel like an idiot. I’ve been making plans for her when she has plenty of plans of her own. You let me go on about giving her the good life knowing she had feelings for Doc.”

  “So what did she say? About you giving her the easy life, I mean?” he asked.

  “That should be a no-brainer for you. She doesn’t want it.” Hannah moved beside him and leaned her back against the corral fence. “She made me see that I’m not responsible for her happiness. She likes her life and she won’t move to California. That should make you happy.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You won’t lose your housekeeper and child care for Ben.”

  “I want Polly to be happy—first and foremost. She’s more to me than just an employee and you know it,” he snapped.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just a lot to take in. And I’m concerned about her. Do you think they’re in love?” she asked him.

  “How the hell should I know? No way do I feel qualified to comment on Polly and Doc. It’s not a no-brainer for a guy like me. I’m a rancher, not a relationship counselor. Besides, I messed up on love once.” Actually twice, but there was no point in telling her that.

  “I don’t think you need to take all the responsibility for what happened in your marriage,” Hannah said.

  “Maybe not. But Corie was very young.”

  “And you were the wise old man?” she said with a smile.

  “Something like that.” It hurt too much to look at her. He glanced away and stared straight ahead into the blackness. “She brought out all my protective instincts. Something happened ten years ago. A bunch of us were at the lake and—”

  “What?” Hannah asked.

  “The details aren’t important,” he said. “But it was a lesson to us—”

  “Us?”

  “Me. Mitch. Jack Riley and Grady O’Connor. Girls—women are vulnerable. They need to be taken care of. So when I met Corie, she was so young, so pretty—” he shrugged. “She made me want to take care of her.”

  “I think that’s very sweet.”

  “Yeah. I’m just a sweetheart of a guy.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “Why not? I was older. You said it yourself—I should have been the wise old man. But I mistook wanting to protect her for love. And I pushed too hard to get what I thought I wanted.”

  “And you got it?” she prompted.

  “Yeah. I got it all right.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Unfortunately I steamrolled her and she didn’t get a chance to tell me what she wanted. I had no idea she was even thinking about a career.”

  She touched his arm. “You can’t take responsibility for the fact that she didn’t speak up and say that her dream didn’t match yours.”

  “Yeah. And what a joke. A woman who stays at home with the children and cooks and keeps house. It sounds old-fashioned.”

  “It’s not a joke. In a perfect world it sounds ideal,” she said.

  “It’s all I knew. And call me a male chauvinist pig, but it worked for me.” He met her gaze. “You made me see that times have changed.”

  “Me? Really?”

  He nodded. “I finally realized that Corie and me—our relationship—geography didn’t tank us. Or her wanting a career. We didn’t make it because she didn’t love me enough.” He stopped short of saying the critical words—to stay.

  “So now what do you want?” she asked, a hopeful note in her voice.

  To not let you go, he thought. To not hurt this bad at the prospect of a life without her. A do over. A chance to start from the beginning and not hurt her or make an ass of himself spouting that women are meant to be in the home, barefoot and pregnant.

  “I want—”

  He didn’t want. He needed Hannah. But he’d made the mistake of being a dimwit once. No one could accuse him of not learning his lesson. He wouldn’t beg her to stay for Ben—for him. If she did, it would have to be what she wanted.

  “What do you want?” she prompted.

  “I want Destin
y to grow and prosper.”

  She blinked at him. “Sounds like a bad episode of Star Trek.”

  Dev wouldn’t ask her to stay. But he figured it couldn’t hurt to tip the scales in his favor. “You know what I mean. Mitch has a development company. He’s working on improving the area. Houses, shopping, industry, entertainment. It’s already a great environment, but things will only get better.”

  “Is that so?” Hannah knew when she’d been sidestepped. But he didn’t tell her that he didn’t want her. He’d just changed the subject.

  “Yeah.” He leaned back against the fence and stared down at her. “We’ve got wide open spaces, clean water and air. Kids can grow up with lots of land and animals. But it wouldn’t hurt to have places to go and things to do either. We’re on our way. Don’t you think it would be exciting to be in on the beginning of that? More prosperity means more people who need health care.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Didn’t you take an oath?” he asked.

  “I did. But I don’t think it started ‘live long and prosper.”’

  “All I’m trying to say is that there’s more to life than what money can buy,” he said.

  Hannah had followed him outside to apologize for hurting his son. She’d also thought about what her mother had said, about taking the partnership Doc had offered her. But she loved Dev. He was wonderful—handsome, caring, easy to talk to, and with an above-average sense of humor. He’d helped her put the past into perspective. There was only one problem with that. Now there was nowhere left to hide. If Dev turned his back on her, she didn’t think she would ever get over it. Letting her guard down could be on the top ten list of dumb things to do.

  “What are you trying to tell me?” she asked, hoping he would declare his undying love and the fact that he wouldn’t survive if she left.

  “I’m saying that Destiny is a great place and is on the brink of getting better. That’s all.”

  “Okay, then.” She nodded. “I’m glad you clarified that. But there’s something I need to clarify. I came from nothing and made something of myself through a combination of planning and intelligence. Abandoning my career plan now wouldn’t be terribly bright.”

  “Are you saying Destiny would be a step down?”

  “No. Let me say this in terms you can relate to. Altering my intended course at this late juncture would be like changing horses in midstream. I think you can see how that’s not the smartest thing to do.”

  “Yeah. Even I know enough to pour water out of a boot. I may not be in your league, but I can see a thing or two.”

  “Such as?” she asked, lifting her chin slightly.

  “Such as you may have an IQ bigger than the state of Texas, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still scared.”

  “What would I have to be scared of?” But she knew.

  “Being hurt.” He took a big breath. “I never met your father, but it occurs to me that you must be like him.”

  “Why in the world would you say that?”

  “You don’t have the guts to stand and fight. You’re running away—just like he did.”

  “How dare you—”

  “If the boot fits—or should I say stethoscope?”

  Anger and pain twisted together inside her and she turned her back on Dev with every intention of walking away. Then it hit her. He was right. Maybe not about the part that she was just like her father. But she was running.

  It was time to stop. Dev had helped her put her past into perspective. Now it was time to put it behind her. In that moment, she knew exactly what she had to do. The weight lifted from her heart. With crystal clarity, she realized that it was what would make her happy.

  She turned back and calmly met his gaze. “You’re right. I am running. And I’m tired of being a loner geek. It’s time to stop both. You were right about there being more to life than money. There’s personal happiness and satisfaction—and fitting in with the community. Putting down roots and letting them dig in and grow too deep to pull. I’ve decided to accept Doc’s offer and stay in Destiny.”

  “Good.”

  “Good? That’s all you can say?”

  “I could say this is so sudden?”

  “It might look that way. But I have a feeling it’s what I was after all along. I could have stayed in California and found work anywhere while I waited to hear about the job I thought I wanted. Somehow I knew I needed to come home. Working with Doc is the right thing for me.”

  “Your mother must be happy.”

  “She doesn’t know yet.” She glared at him. “I was sort of hoping you’d be happy I’m staying.”

  Finally she put her hands on her hips. They’d reached an impasse. He wouldn’t comment on her decision; she wouldn’t tell him she cared. Each was expecting the other to blink first. To break down, break the ice, draw first blood. Well, she’d turned over a new leaf tonight. It was time to put up or shut up. Now or never. She would take a chance.

  She moved close to him and rested her hand on his arm. “Obviously what we have here isn’t a failure to communicate. It’s fear of communication.”

  “Is that so?” One corner of his mouth lifted.

  “Apparently neither of us wants to say it first. I’m going to be the mature one. That way, I can feel superior for the rest of our lives. I can hold it over your head—”

  Suddenly, Dev pulled her into his arms. He held her as if he would never let her go, and looked into her eyes with such intensity it made her head spin. Everything she’d been about to say went right out of her mind. Her pulse raced and her heart pounded. Heat filled her and she couldn’t seem to get close enough to him. Communication was an overrated skill. Actions spoke so much louder than words. She stood on tiptoe, waiting for him to touch her lips with his own.

  But he took a deep breath and opened his mouth. “I love you, Hannah. Don’t ever forget who said it first.”

  She blinked, then grinned. “I love you, Dev. And I don’t care who said it first as long as we both know I intended to.”

  “Okay.”

  Happiness bubbled up inside her. Again she felt a sense of peace—that she and Dev were right together. But she needed to know for sure. She searched his gaze for any sign of doubt. “Are you certain? You saw firsthand that a doctor’s life isn’t easy. Sometimes patients have to come first.”

  “You’re a good doctor, that’s what I saw. Folks need you. Do what you need to. I don’t care if you bake or whether or not you’re there when I come home as long as you come home too—to me. I’ll take whatever you have to give. I faced the emptiness of my life without you.” Gently he tightened his hold on her. “Having you on any terms is heaven compared to not having you at all.”

  “Are you asking me to stay?”

  “I swore I wouldn’t—not even for Ben.” He hugged her close for a moment, then drew back and looked into her eyes. “Hell yes, I’m asking you to stay. Don’t leave me, Hannah. Heal my heart. Make me whole. Let me make you happy. Make me the happiest cowboy in Texas. Marry me. Please.”

  “Oh, Dev.” Her eyes blurred with moisture at his words. When a tear trickled down her cheek, he took her face between his big, calloused palms and brushed it away with his thumb.

  “Don’t keep me in suspense. My whole future depends on what that tear means. Is it a yes?”

  She nodded. “I would like nothing better than to marry you. Third time’s the charm.”

  “What?”

  “You’ve kissed me twice. We need number three,” she said.

  “It’d be my pleasure to oblige, ma’am.”

  Cradling her face in his hands, he lowered his mouth to hers. The touch was gentle yet filled with so much passion and promise.

  Hannah already felt like the luckiest woman in the world. She hadn’t thought it was possible to have it all, but she did. A handsome cowboy who loved her, a satisfying career and a ready-made family. She knew their forever love and lifetime commitment was sealed with their third-time’
s-the-charm kiss.

  He lifted his head and smiled at her. “I suppose that cancels out our agreement not to kiss again.”

  “Okay,” she agreed happily.

  “Thank God.” He let out a long, relieved breath, then kissed her forehead.

  She rested her cheek against his chest and heard the steady beating of his heart. “You know, Ben was right all along. That very first kiss got my attention and started me thinking about staying. It changed my life, just like in the movies.”

  “He’ll be glad to hear that.”

  She looked at him. “We should go tell him and my mother.”

  “Soon. First there’s something I need to say.” He held her close, his lips a whisper away from hers. “I pledge to you my heart, my love, my life. I will make you the happiest woman in Destiny.”

  His lips touched hers and their promise of happy ever after was sealed with this kiss.

  ISBN: 978-1-4592-5507-4

  THIS KISS

  Copyright © 2001 by Teresa Ann Southwick

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  *The Marchetti Family