Impossible Life of Mary Benson, The
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p.xvii a ‘beating fervent keen pulsating life’ Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 32
p.xvii ‘it has fallen to pieces around us’ Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 32
p.xvii ‘give me a personality’ Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 35
p.xvii ‘Who will string my life together. . . ?’ Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 38
p.xvii ‘What a tremendous choice!’ Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 44
Part One
Chapter One
p.3 ‘more volatile than her brothers’ Diary 1898–1900, Ben. MS Benson 1/78 fol 64
p.3 frightened of her mother Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.3 ‘Mama’s ickle tresor’ Ben. MS Benson 3/7–8, fol 43
p.3 she desired to please Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 62
p.3 did not like church Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.3 ‘There’s many a poor person’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.16
p.3 ‘caring for luxuries’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.17
p.4 Cousin Edward Palmer, Geoffrey and Lloyd, Noel, Father of the Bensons, pp.62, 107; Asquith, Betty, The Bensons, A Victorian Family, p.12
p.4 ‘to the end of the pronouns’ Diary October 1849, cited in Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.23
p.4 ‘mighty favourite’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, A Victorian Peep Show, p.63
p.5 ‘the keenness and depth of her thought’ from Edward Benson’s diary for March 1852, quoted in Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.63
p.5 he was much moved Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.63
p.5 women being morally superior This current Victorian attitude is pointed out in Vicinus, Martha (ed.), Suffer and Be Still: Women in the Victorian Age, p.xiv
p.5 ‘Edward, how long will it be’ conversation recorded in Edward Benson’s diary, cited in Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.62
p.6 ‘made me blush indeed’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.62
p.6 ‘fine and beautiful bud’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.63
Chapter Two
p.9 worship for his headmaster Benson, A. C. The Life of Edward White Benson, Sometime Archbishop of Canterbury, Vol. I, p.39
p.10 The Curious Case of Dr Sollitt The account is taken from Edward Benson (the younger’s) 1851 diary, as told to him by his father. Papers of Edward White Benson, Wren Library, Trinity College, University of Cambridge.
p.12 pale and sickly, averse to games Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, pp.10–11; Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.19
p.12 ‘monstrous figments’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.22
p.12 interchangeably ‘White’ and ‘Edward’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.20
p.12 increasingly fervent in his faith Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.53–4
p.12 Society for Holy Living Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.66
p.12 ‘the Bensonian Ethereality’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.32
p.12 ‘I don’t care for the book’ Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.14
p.13 Mr Guppy The point is made in Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House: Domestic Life from Childbirth to Deathbed, pp.190–1
p.14 a young Queen Victoria Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.71. Edward Benson’s letter to his mother, cited in Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.54–5
p.14 ‘roaring and rattling railroad days’ Charles Kingsley, in a letter to his wife, cited in Newsome, David, The Victorian World Picture, p.29
p.14 ‘wheezin’, creakin’, gaspin’’ Mr Weller senior describes the railways in Charles Dickens’s story Master Humphrey’s Clock.
p.14 ‘Not quite so fast next time’ Newsome, David, The Victorian World Picture, p.31
p.15 loss to investors of some £800,000,000 Newsome, David, The Victorian World Picture, p.30
p.15 she did not want to interrupt his work Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.83
p.15 the most confirmed invalids Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.83
p.15 ‘not grudge the trouble’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.83–4
p.16 ‘true comfort is of the Comforter’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.84
p.16 ‘hereafter decide on the boy’s school’ Letter from Edward Benson to Prince Lee, then Bishop of Manchester, asking advice, cited in Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.88
p.17 An Incident in which Edward Benson. . . Stands by his High Principles The incident is described in Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.109
p.18 provide for [Charlie’s] future Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.90
p.18 ‘This is a very serious matter’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.91–2
p.19 ‘make idols’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 66
p.19 ‘almost romantic attachment’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.37
p.19 ‘blue eyes and placid brow’ Edward Benson, diary entry for 24 August 1851. Papers of Edward Benson, Wren Library, Trinity College, University of Cambridge.
p.19 ‘I do not worthily return his affection’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.59
p.20 ‘jumpy, jerky, wally-shally’ Edward Benson’s holiday diary, cited in Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.31
p.21 ‘play with your hair’ Edward Benson, diary entry for 23 August 1851. Papers of Edward Benson, Wren Library, Trinity College, University of Cambridge.
Chapter Three
p.23 below the age of consent The age of consent for girls in England in the 1850s was twelve. In 1875 it was raised to thirteen under the Offences Against the Person Act. Ten years later it was set at sixteen by the Criminal Law Amendment Act.
p.23 before she was twenty-one Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 3
p.23 until, say, eighteen. Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 106
p.23 girlhood into womanhood Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fols 224 and 106
p.23 most anxious maternal supervision Showalter, Elaine, The Female Malady: Women, Madness and Culture 1830–1980, pp.56ff, outlines contemporary beliefs on the dangers thought to accompany the onset of menstruation.
p.23 inherent weakness, mental or bodily, might show of itself Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fols 44 and 106
p.23 not very strong just now Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 4
p.23 an unformed child Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 106
p.24 ‘As I have always been very fond’ cited in Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.60–1
p.24 ‘I could have cried’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 1
p.25 Retrospective Glances. . . 8 March 1897, Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 62; 17 March 1876, Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.25 a voice like a man’s Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.17
p.26 one more person for Minnie to please Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fols 1–2
p.26 then only did so in a whisper Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 35
p.27 ‘in all things was more than a mother’ cited in Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson & His Family and Friends, p.4
p.27 ‘for one true-hearted woman’ cited in Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson, p.4
p.27 ‘How much I thought of you’ cited in Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson, p.4
p.27 a more motherly role Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 24
p.27 ‘joys and sorrows’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fols 1–2
p.27 ‘you will never cease’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 19
p.27 ‘will have no existence in her’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 38
p.28 satisfied with the choice Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 24
p.28 ‘a temptation I cannot resist’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 106
p.28 ‘childish affection of a little sister’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 4
p.28 ‘which is her great charm’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 102
p.28 ‘lessen your interest in her’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 37
p.28 ‘a very young man’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 56
p.
28 ‘attained the age of 23’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 24
p.29 greatest trials of health in childhood Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 53
p.29 ‘gloried in being self-sufficient’ Ben. MS Benson 3/18-19 fol 33
p.29 ‘weary you by repetition of it’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 102
p.29 reading her letters aloud Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 37
p.29 it was difficult to refuse Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 183
p.30 ‘impertinent in a younger sister’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 68
p.30 ‘to show a child of 11 years old’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 20
p.30 ‘suited to a childish age’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 68
p.30 ‘give them up for a time’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 112
p.30 ‘nursery tales’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 161, and elsewhere
p.30 ‘I have been wrong very wrong’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 106
p.31 Recollections of this Time. . . Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 10; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 11; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.31 ‘the sorrow she felt at parting’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 68
p.32 ‘present itself in the moment of temptation’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 30
p.32 never lose her love or goodwill Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 161, fols 183-208
p.33 ‘a romantic idea of her and Mr Benson’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 102
p.33 ‘likely to attract him’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 36
p.33 ‘eight years time they become engaged’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 40
p.33 ‘really much pleased with the thought’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 146
p.33 ‘little fair girl of twelve with her earnest look’ Details of the proposal given in Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.63–4
p.34 on his chimney-piece at Trinity Masters, Brian, Life of E. F. Benson, p.17
Chapter Four
p.35 Archibald Tait Archibald Campbell Tait was later to be Edward’s immediate predecessor as Archbishop of Canterbury. His daughter, Lucy, would play a significant role in the Bensons’ lives.
p.36 the poor moral tone According to Henry Sidgwick, Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.147
p.36 agreeably planted with elms Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.116
p.36 ‘talking people round’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.116
p.36 the family were enough Ben. MS Benson 3/18-19 fol 33
p.37 Minnie’s ‘turns’ or ‘monthlies’ Showalter, Elaine, in Vicinus, Martha (ed.), Suffer and Be Still, pp.38ff
p.37 ‘snappish, fretful. . . full of deceit’ The opinion of one Dr Edward Tilt, expressed in an 1851 medical journal, cited in Showalter, Elaine, The Female Malady, p.56
p.37 ‘a fatal want of confidence’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 11
p.38 ‘feel strongly and warmly, I am sure’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 85
p.38 Jottings from Mrs Benson’s Retrospective Diary Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 62; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8; Ben. Diary 1876, MS Benson 1/79 fol 12; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 11; Diary 1896–98, Ben. MS Benson 1/77 fol 62
p.39 ‘loved her über alle Massen’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 11
p.40 ‘a most creditable examination’ Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, pp.36–7
p.40 ‘books on Pompeii and the Reformation Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fols 5–6
p.40 ‘hard reading will do her good’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 10
p.41 ‘always makes a deep impression’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 183
p.41 ‘exaggerated affection’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 9
p.41 ‘not softened by reproof’ Ben. MS Benson 3/4 fol 174
p.41 ‘Believe me though’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 106
p.42 ‘could she do so’ cited in Masters, Brian, The Life of E. F. Benson, p.19
p.42 ‘make people happy at once’ Benson, E. F., Mother, p.14
p.42 ‘not to disappoint him’ Benson, E. F., Mother, p.14
p.43 ‘sense of being interesting’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 12
p.43 ‘You won’t find it so always’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 20
p.43 ‘your picture of the walk’ Ben. MS Benson 3/25 fol 20
p.44 ‘I will beg your forgiveness on my knees’ Ben. MS Benson 3/25 fol 64
p.44 ‘never shall have to show them to you again’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 64
p.46 ‘Earnest Coleridge of the age of 11’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 8
p.46 ‘so unprudish-pure?’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 7
p.46 ‘flash out sometimes in the midst’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 50
p.46 ‘no dream or imagination any more’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 64
p.46 hat trimmed with white ribbon Diary 1859, Ben. MS Benson 1/71 fol 36
p.46 she ‘put away the future’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 12
p.48 A Final Backward Glance. . . Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 12; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 13
Part Two
Chapter Five
p.51 ‘a buzzing noise’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896, p.58
p.51 ‘none of that ugly matching’ Diary 1859, Ben. MS Benson 1/71 fol 6
p.51 ‘Wedding night’ – Folkstone Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 13
p.55 ‘the mighty Rhine’ Diary 1859, Ben. MS Benson 1/71 fol 11
p.55 Bensons hurtled onwards to Switzerland Accounts of the Bensons’ honeymoon are taken from Diary 1859, Ben. MS Benson 1/71 fols 6–42
p.55 ‘fade away into pale moonlight’ Diary 1859, Ben. MS Benson 1/71 fol 12
Chapter Six
p.59 ‘with hollow melancholy eyes’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.7
p.61 ‘intellectually a very superior man’ cited in Masters, Brian, Life of E. F. Benson, p.20
p.61 ‘a very good scholar and divine’ Davidson, Randall, Life of Archibald Campbell Tait, Archbishop of Canterbury, Vol. I, p.207
p.61 salary of £800 a year Details of the meeting from Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.137–9
p.61 ‘our run of scholars vastly superior’ Letter of 6 October 1858 cited in Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.141
p.62 Views on the Germans Stanley, Arthur Penryn, Life and Correspondence of Thomas Arnold, p.97; Abbott, Evelyn, The Life and Letters of Benjamin Jowett, Vol. 1, p.191; I am indebted to Newsome, David, The Victorian World Picture, p.100, for drawing my attention to these extracts.
p.63 ‘dragooned as diligently as his pupils’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, pp.6, 50
p.63 ‘a microscopic eye’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.5
p.64 ‘no real love, but influence’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 12
p.64 ‘I would have died rather’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 14
p.64 ‘if you love me’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 154
p.64 would need £585 cited in Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, p.133. I am indebted to Flanders for much of the background to this section.
p.65 worried, worried, worried Maud Berkeley, cited in Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, pp.133–4
p.65 ‘lived in the present’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 20
p.66 ‘I wish I could get them finished!’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 15
p.66 ‘My heart feels like a stone’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 10
p.66 ‘a long vista of intellectual delights’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 14
p.67 would last at least two hours Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.241
p.67 reasoning powers are deteriorating Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 14
p.67 ‘my life is wasted’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 10
p.67 ‘a sad muddle of everything’ Ben. MS Benson 3/15 fol 157
p.67 another whirl through France Account of the holiday taken from Benson, E. F., Mother, pp.18–19
p.68 ‘the i
mprovement of her life’ Benson, E. F., Mother, p.20
p.69 ‘what talks, what mirth!’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 20
p.69 ‘seemed to inspirit one’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 1–2
p.70 ‘in a spirited and interested’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 4
p.70 ‘on the heights’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.188
p.70 hot summer evenings Account taken from Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, pp.41–2
p.70 On winter’s nights, on high occasions The account of the dinner party is taken from Fred Benson’s description in Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.15–21
p.72 ‘had a lovely “touch” on the piano’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.19
p.72 ‘I did not vex Edward’ Benson, E. F., Mother, p.16
p.72 ‘psychical research’ Oppenheim, Janet, ‘Shattered Nerves’: Doctors, Patients, and Depression in Victorian England, pp.1–3
p.73 ‘the scientific atmosphere’ Oppenheim, Janet, ‘Shattered Nerves’, p.112
p.73 ‘a mess of mystical pottage’ Newsome, David, The Victorian World Picture, p.209
p.73 ‘degrade the conversation’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.251–2
p.73 ‘either a sin or a folly’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 28
p.73 ‘in a reverent spirit’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 28
p.76 ‘want of tenderness’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 30
p.76 Edward came storming into the room Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 25
p.76 ‘contretemps before going to bed’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 32
p.77 ‘It is a duty to notice things’ Details of the argument taken from Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 32ff
p.77 ‘went away much happier’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 26
p.77 ‘Oh but she will love him truly’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 10. The verses are from Tennyson’s Lord Burleigh.
p.78 recline on the sofa reading Shelley Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 15
p.78 ‘Please God to help me’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 15