Wanna Bet?

by R. S Burnett

  I can hear Sophie’s chair scraping across the floor as she jumps up out of her seat but she doesn’t get to do whatever it was she was going to do before she can move Beth is on the floor under me and I’m punching her in the face. She twists and throws me off her then we are flipped and she’s on top of me.

  “I learnt that trick while I was having sex, you wouldn’t know anything about that though would you” she sneers at me before landing a punch on my jaw.

  “Yeah, well I didn’t have to spread my legs to learn this one” I snap back at her, I use all my strength to lift her off me a little and then slam my knees up into her back making her fly forward she curls up into the fetal position on the floor and I grab a fist full of her hair.

  A few people are surrounding us chanting fight and random other things.

  I twist my fist into her hair and bring her ear up to my mouth. “Say what you want about me, do what the hell you want to me but mention my dad again and I swear to god I will fucking kill you” I whisper into her ear and then slam her face into the floor.

  Matt pulls me up from the ground and drags my arms behind my back, Beth turns to look at me and smiles, her mouth covered in blood.

  “If he was anything like you are, you’re mum’s lucky he’s dead too” she spits a mouthful of blood on the floor.

  I try to get my arms from behind my back but Matt tightens his hold on them and someone lifts Beth up off the floor holding her in the same vice type grip that I’m in. I take advantage of Matt’s strength and without him realizing what I’m doing I lean my weight against him and push both my feet off the ground making them slam into Beth’s stomach, both her and the person holding her stumble back and land on the floor. Matt lets me go, out of shock I suspect so I walk forward until I’m standing over her.

  “You want to fight and come out on top? Pick someone who doesn’t put up with this shit everyday”

  Sophie pulls me away from the group and sits me back down at the table, she starts wiping my lip that’s bleeding but I push her hand away and try to slow my breathing down.

  “God I hate that bitch” I whisper drinking my coffee, most of the people in the café have gone back to what they were doing before me and Beth went a bit a crazy but a few people are still staring at us.

  “I don’t think you’re her favorite person either” She whispers back “What are you going to do about him?” I follow the direction of where she’s nodding until my eyes find Matt and Tucker, it looks like their arguing.

  “Right now, I’d like to do to him what I did to Beth”

  “He’d deserve it” she shrugs.

  “I’m gonna go, I’ll see you later” I tell her when Tucker and Matt start walking back to the table. I pass them but don’t say anything as I head to my next class.

  To my surprise Tucker sits in the seat next to me, he normally sits in this seat by why on earth he would think I want to sit next to him I don’t know.

  “Brooke” he starts but is cut off by the lecture starting.

  I sigh relieved but he slips a piece of paper onto my desk.

  I’m sorry

  I shake my head at him and scribble a note back.

  Do you honestly hate me so much that you will go out of your way to upset me?

  No, of course not. Will you let me explain?

  No, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, but do one thing for me. Next time you have to stick your dick in something, try to not talk about me afterwards please.

  I pass him the note and plug my iPod in hoping he gets the hint that I don’t want to talk to him.

  I wake up for the third time tonight and with all the exhaustion, memories and the fight in the café this afternoon fresh in my mind I give in and don’t fight the tears but it’s not soft sobs and sniffles but full on howling crying. I grab my keys, not bothering to get changed out of my shorts and tank and leave the dorm. I bump into Ethan, Tucker, and Matt on the stairs they all stop to stare at me. I try to push passed them but Matt grabs my arm stopping me.

  “Where are you going?”

  I shrug and swipe my hands over my cheeks.

  “Where’s Sophie?” he asks

  I shrug again.

  “Brooke, talk to me” he grabs my other arm and starts shaking me slightly but I just stare at him.

  “Brooke” he’s begging now but all I can do is shake my head at him. The ability to speak is lost on me, I open my mouth but no words come out.

  I try walking away but he doesn’t let me go, I frown up at him because he looks lost, I lift my hand to touch his face but I drop my keys on the floor. Tucker picks them up and stares at me.

  “You were going to go out?” he asks looking at what I’m wearing.

  “What’s wrong with her?” I turn at the sound of Ethan’s worried voice.

  They start having a conversation around me and I follow each voice with my head.

  “I don’t know, we should take her back to her room”

  “We can’t leave her like this”

  “Where’s Sophie?”

  “I think she stayed in someone else’s room, she has an exam in the morning and couldn’t afford to loose anymore sleep”

  “Where was she going to go?”

  “Should we let her go and find out?”

  “She can’t talk and you want to let her drive?”

  “Let’s take her back to her room, I’ll stay with her”

  “I don’t think she will be happy to wake up and find you in her room”

  “Well she hasn’t got a choice, at least if I’m there she will get some sleep”

  “If she hits you tomorrow, don’t say I didn’t warn you”

  “Fine”

  “Brooke, come on. It’s time to go back to bed” Matt tell me steering me towards my room.

  “I’ll see you guys tomorrow” Tucker says when Matt and Ethan leave the dorm.

  “Brooke don’t you want to go to sleep?” Tucker asks, joining me on the sofa, I don’t answer him I just start flicking through the channels on the TV.

  When I can’t find anything to watch I turn the TV off and we are sent into darkness.

  “Do you think she was right?” I ask, finally finding my voice.

  “Who?” Tucker asks sounding relieved.

  “She said my dad would be ashamed of me, was she right?”

  “Brooke, please don’t believe her or anyone else who says that to you. He would be so proud of you it’s unreal. You’re the most beautiful, bravest, strongest, funniest, smartest most loyal person I know, how could anyone be ashamed of you?”

  “I just want it to end” I whisper, knowing her can hear me “The nightmares, the fights, the rumors, the crying, the memories, the lies I want it all to end”

  “Where were you going tonight Brooke?” he asks moving closer to me.

  “I don’t know, I want to go home but I don’t have one”

  “This is all my fault, I’m sorry Brooke, will you let me explain my self to you not please?”

  “It’s not your fault, I don’t care why you did whatever you did, none of it matters”

  “That’s not true at least let me talk to you about it, because to me it does matter”

  “Okay”

  “When Sophie told me you were going back to Andrews room I felt sick, I know I shouldn’t have believed her but I did and then what I did with Mel, you must of hated me for it. When I found out nothing happened between you and him that Sophie lied to me I don’t know what happened I felt so horrible and I went out, got drunk and ended up with Beth, we got talking and she was asking about you. I know I shouldn’t have told her anything about you at all but I hurt you and I promised myself and you that I would never do that again after the last time but I did and I felt worthless for it, when she kissed me I felt like that was all I deserved is to be wanted by someone like her, I could never deserve someone like you Brooke, your worth so much more than me. That’s why I did it”

  I nod into the darkness taki
ng in everything he just told me.

  “Are you going to hit me now?” I hear him asks from beside me.

  “No, why would I hit you?” I turn towards where his voice is coming from.

  “The same reason you hit Beth”

  “I didn’t hit her because of that; I hit her because she said my dad was lucky he is dead. I didn’t get upset over what you did, how can I? Everyone I have ever known has hurt me at some point why should I expect you to be any different? It’s not fair for me to rank you higher than everyone else”

  “Brooke, I want to be with you like I have never been with anyone else before but I’m worried”

  “What are you worried about?”

  I hear him take a deep breath and brace myself for the worst “I’m worried that I don’t deserve you, I worried that I can’t be enough for you”

  “The fact that you’re worried about it tells me that you do and you can” I whisper to him.

  “I need you to tell me what I can do to be good enough for you” he whispers sitting so close that we are touching now.

  I reach around in the dark until I find his hand, I hold it in both of mine. “You can cheat on me, you can hit me, you can use me, you can steal from me and you can let me down and never be there for me but please, whatever you do, don’t ever lie to me. That’s the only thing that you can do to hurt me”

  “I would never do any of those things to you anyway Brooke, I can promise you that but I do have one other thing that is worrying me”

  “What?”

  “When you went out tonight, you wouldn’t talk to anyone, you had no shoes on, you were only half dressed, you said you wanted it to end. Please be honest with me, was it your life you wanted to put an end to?”

  I can feel his whole body tense up as he waits for my answer and my heart breaks a little with the knowledge that the people closest to me are worried that I could do that to myself at anytime.

  “No, you have to understand that even though I’m not afraid of dying, we all have to go at some point. If it happens sooner rather than later for me, that’s okay. I’m not even that bothered how it happens but I will never, ever try to end my life myself and I would never ever let my step dad do it for me either. That’s the reason I can keep going, it’s the only reason I carry on everyday and am still here. I just don’t want him to control that part of me. My dad’s life got cut short; no one can force me to do the same with my own. That reason alone is enough for me. So you have nothing to worry about.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  I sit on top of Tucker to straddle him but he still manages to trap me instead by pinning my hands above his head.

  “Aww come one I’m starving” I giggle as he playfully nips my collar bone.

  “It’s three in the morning” he says tilting his head so he can kiss my neck.

  “Mmm … but I’m hungry” I protest feebly and tilt my head to give him better access.

  “Me too” he agrees but nibbles on my ear making me squeal.

  I struggle to get out of his grip but end up toppling us out of bed.

  “What are you two doing?” Ethan asks amused sitting up in his bed.

  “I’m going out for food” I announce standing up and taking advantage of Tuckers winded position on the floor from where I landed on his stomach.

  “Fine” Tucker grumbles getting up and slipping some jeans on.

  “If you drive, I’ll make it up to you, on the way” I wink at him and he doubles his efforts at getting dressed.

  “See ya” he calls out to Ethan, grabbing his keys and me then a jacket.

  “I’m not even dressed” I protest laughing.

  “That’s what the jacket is for” he rolls his eyes and slings the jacket over my shoulders zipping it up before we get any further into the corridor.

  “Keep your eyes on the road” I shout for the third time “Are you sure you can handle this?” I tease lowering my head into his lap to continue running my tongue along the length of him, his only answer is a loud groan.

  “Oh … shit … Brooke I’m gonna…” I feel the car jerk forward as his foot slams on the accelerator.

  “Mmm hmm” I nod at him but keep him in my mouth and swallow as he fills my mouth, I keep him in my mouth until I’m sure there’s nothing left then clamp my hand around the bottom of him and squeeze pushing my hand up to lick the last drop away dipping the tip of my tongue in the little slit.

  “You know if you’re going to swear at me every time I do that I might stop doing it” I tell him trying to keep my expression blank.

  “That’s not even funny Brooke, don’t joke about that stuff” he says looking too serious.

  “Ooh look we’re nearly there!” I sigh and fall back into my chair waving my hand at the lit up all night pancake house.

  “How do you even know about this place?”

  “Me and Sophie used to go out in the middle of the night all the time, I also now some all nigh bars, coffee houses, one stop shops.” I frown at the incredulity in his tone.

  “Why?”

  I just shrug as he pulls up in front of my haven and jump out not wanting to wait for him.

  “Hi” I grin at the waitress.

  “What can I get you Brooke?” she smiles back – I know it’s probably bad when the waitresses know you by name but at this moment I don’t care to dwell on it.

  “I’ll have two coffee’s and two house specials please” I hand her the money and settle into a table by the window slipping my shoes off because I have no socks on with them thanks to our hasty exit and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. Tucker comes through the door looking around at everyone happily eating their meals as if he has stepped into the twilight zone.

  “Oh no, you sit over there” I point to the seat opposite when he starts to slide in next to me.

  “Why?” he asks but does it anyway.

  “Because you are way to distracting when you sit next to me and I want to remember my food, that’s what got us here in the first place, I forgot to each my lunch remember and we skipped dinner”

  “Oh yeah” he grins at me “What are you having?” he asks me picking up a menu.

  “I’ve already sorted it, you took a long time getting out of the car” I smirk at him.

  “Well some of us don’t just jump out of moving vehicles and I had to um, rearrange my clothes” he smirks back at me but it quickly falls off his face when a plate overflowing with food is put in front of him.

  “No Sophie tonight?” the waitress asks eyeing Tucker who is looking at his plate as if it’s going to bite him.

  “No, although she is definitely more fun” I grumble and pick my knife and fork up to cut into my stack of pancakes.

  “What is this?” Tucker asks prodding his food.

  “It’s only six pancakes, bacon and syrup” I roll my eyes at him.

  “You know for someone who eats so much those clothes you used to wear should fit you snugly” he grumbles.

  “Yeah well luckily no matter what I eat what ever I don’t burn off in the gym just goes on my boobs and ass, are you complaining?” I ask raising an eyebrow at him.

  “Hell no, I’m just saying, some of us can’t eat like this, I’m going to be huge by the time you’re finished with me” he grins back.

  “That’s my plan” I tell him around a mouthful of pancakes not able to hold back any longer.

  “What to make me fat?”

  “No to make you so fat that the next time you try to stop me going out for food in the middle of the night, I can escape after I’ve knocked us both off the bed onto the floor because you won’t be able to get back up by yourself”

  “You haven’t thought it through, what if I landed on you? I’d squash you” he asks rolling his eyes when I moan.

  “That’s easy only you will fall off the bed”

  “How?”

  “I’ll distract you just as we’re about to fall so you’ll let me go”

  “And how are you going to do tha
t?”

  “Easy” I look around to make sure no one can see me which is the case because I have my back to everyone else and unzip the front of my jacket that thanks to Tucker I only have a bra on underneath it.

  “Okay, I see your point but just leave it like that for me please” he asks picking his fork up and finally eating his food but not taking his eyes off my chest.

  “What ever gets you to eat bud” I shrug and laugh as he moans when my breasts jump with the movement.

  I finish my food and watch Tucker, noticing that he is wolfing his down “If this is all it takes to get you to eat like this maybe we should start going to hooters” I note.

  “Umm ... does the rest of the service come with it?” he asks grinning at me.

  “What” I frown at him.

  “You don’t even know you’re doing it do you?” he asks chuckling now and points under the table where I have been mindlessly running my foot under his jeans up and down his leg.

  “Sorry” I pull my foot away guiltily.

  “Come on let’s pay and get out of here” he says draining his cup.

  I slip my shoes back on “I’ve already paid”

  “Brooke” he groans

  “You can pay next time” I answer smiling

  “There’s going to be a next time?” he grumbles

  “Definitely lots of next times” I answer cheerily.

  * * *

  “Brooke why do you look so happy but Tucker looks sick?” Sophie asks taking in our position at the table.

  I’m happily scooping up some lasagne and waving in front of Tucker laughing as he recoils away from it but still keeping one arm around me.

  “Poor Tucker can handle his drink, but he can’t handle his food” I poke my tongue out at him but don’t manage to move away fast enough when he catches it between his teeth.

  “She dragged me out at three this morning for pancakes” He tells her laughing at me checking my tongue to see if it’s bleeding.

  “What, why didn’t you come and get me?” Sophie demands.

  “I was very hungry. Sorry” I shrug and laugh because Tucker is sending her a look that he is seriously questioning her sanity.