Our Little Secret (Finding Forever Book 1)

by Rebecca Raine

  Despite chinking his glass, Scott said, “You’re a day late and if the term weekiversary passes your lips I’m going to take a belt to your arse.”

  Derek’s head tilted to one side, as if he were considering the threat. Then he shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  Julia watched Scott closely as he snorted at Derek’s joke. The pieces were slowly coming together for her. The surprise in him every time she did something for him or came to him before Derek. He never expected it, always expected to play second fiddle to Derek. Which he had at first, she supposed. Derek was the person she gravitated to in the first few days. Her feelings for him were more developed and she knew him better. As the week progressed, however, she’d spent time getting to know Scott in ways that didn’t involve sex and she found she enjoyed his company also. He was intelligent, quick-witted and unconsciously kind. Never once had he rejected her simple acts of affection, though he’d been halting at first in returning them, as if he wasn’t certain his advances would be welcome. Even so, he always showed concern for her well-being and her comfort. She truly believed he cared for her. Now, she wanted to show him how much she cared.

  When Scott went back inside to start preparing dinner, she leaned over to Derek. “I want tonight to be all about Scott,” she blurted. “I mean I want us to have sex and I want it to be all about making Scott feel good.” The rush of words ended in a quiet, “Is that okay?”

  Derek stared at her blankly for a moment, which wasn’t surprising considering how ‘out of the blue’ her demand must have seemed to him. Then his mouth stretched into a huge grin. He pressed a quick kiss against her lips before replying, “Your wish is my command.”

  Chapter 17

  Scott had no fucking idea what the hell was going on with Derek and Julia, but it made him nervous. He was not normally a man prone to nerves.

  He forked the last bite of chicken into his mouth and chewed, ignoring the way Julia made goo-goo eyes at him across the table. He wasn’t sure if she wanted to pepper his face with kisses, as she sometimes did, or just climb onto his lap and ride him for all she was worth.

  Derek was acting just as strange. The man could light up a room with that smile and he well knew it. Tonight, Scott had been copping the full force of it, with a heavy dose of charm added.

  Every now and then the two of them would share a look or a smile that told him in no uncertain terms they were up to something and they weren’t about to let him in on the secret. The whole dinner would have been disturbing if it wasn’t so obvious how much fun they were having. And if they weren’t putting so much effort into flirting with him outrageously.

  Under the table, a soft feminine hand landed on his thigh, squeezing lightly, and his cock jumped at the caress. He kept his head down, but sneaked a glance at Julia out of the corner of his eye. She favoured Derek with a bright smile, her body vibrant with eagerness.

  “I’m going to do the dishes while you boys finish your wine,” she said. She gave Derek a quick wink and whispered, “Don’t start without me,” before collecting the empty plates and heading for the kitchen.

  The moment she was out of earshot, Scott turned a frown on Derek. “What the hell is going on?”

  “What do you mean?” Derek said with a shrug of his broad shoulders.

  “Don’t bullshit me, Derek.” He didn’t mean to sound angry, but damn it this whole situation made him uncomfortable. Why were they so focused on him of all people?

  Those chocolate brown eyes assessed him for a moment before Derek said, “Have we done something you don’t like?”

  He could have said yes, that it was too much. He liked having the upper hand, especially where Julia was involved, and being left out of the loop pissed him off. His cock, on the other hand, was having a grand old time and wanted desperately to see where all this would lead. In the end he said nothing, draining his glass instead.

  “Come here.” Derek leaned forward and wrapped a hand around Scott’s nape to pull him closer. “Just go with it,” he murmured in his ear. Then Derek took his hand and stood up, pulling until Scott followed him into the bedroom.

  When Derek reached out to start undoing his shirt buttons, Scott covered his hand with his own to stop the progress.

  “I need you to tell me what she wants,” he insisted. Sure, being treated like the most important person in the room was nice. Hell, it was better than nice. It fed into a part of him that would always be starving. But if he didn’t know the intended end result of this game, he might fuck it up. He didn’t want to leave her disappointed. “If you don’t tell me, I can’t give it to her.”

  Derek stared at him for a long moment. Scott watched him swallow. Then, just when he thought the other man would refuse to answer, Derek gave him a playful smirk. “She wants to watch us together. She’s curious.”

  Scott’s breath released in a long sigh. She’s curious. Experimenting. She’s still having her adventure. That he could handle.

  The relief left him a little giddy and he clasped Derek’s head between his hands and descended on his mouth with all the pent up lust this evening had forced on him. If Julia wanted to watch two men fucking, he could give her that. No problem.

  His tongue slid into Derek’s mouth to explore and conquer. Derek opened for him, gave him everything, without the slightest hesitation. He always did. If there was one certainty Scott could count on in this world of hatred and bigotry, it was Derek’s love for him. He prayed every fucking day that would never change.

  A feminine gasp announced Julia’s arrival. She appeared at their side with a frown marring her pretty face. “You weren’t supposed to start without me.”

  She seemed so disappointed he couldn’t help but chuckle. “My fault. Let me make it up to you.” He grabbed her arse cheeks and hauled her up against his groin before sucking her bottom lip between his teeth for a gentle nip. It was gruff and boorish, but he knew she got off on it when he did it just right.

  Tonight, though, she slipped from his arms and pushed at his shoulder to turn him back around. “Please continue,” she instructed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Surprised by her directness, he did as she asked. Turning back to Derek he found the other man had stripped off his t-shirt and dropped to his knees. He went straight to work undoing the buttons of Scott’s fly. Unnerved though he was by the way the two of them were ganging up on him, Scott wasn’t stupid enough to stop them. So, when Derek pushed his jeans and boxers down over his hips, he stepped out of the fallen clothes and kicked them away.

  Derek reached out to grab his rapidly hardening cock and stroked the length of him with a firm hand. Scott grunted, his fingers tangling in the brown waves of Derek’s hair in anticipation of his mouth. Meanwhile, Julia slid in behind him and reached her hands around his waist to finish undoing his shirt buttons. Once the material parted, she drew the shirt down off his shoulders and tossed it aside. Her fingers returned to wander across his back, scraping his skin with long fingernails.

  With a deft turn and a push, Derek had him sitting on the end of the bed. Scott watched as his lover leaned down to run a firm tongue over the full length of his cock before settling in for a long, hard suck. Scott swore under his breath, his hips bucking involuntarily.

  Meanwhile, Julia crawled onto the bed to sit behind him. Her knees bracketed his hips and her body pressed against his back. He groaned when he realised she was already naked. Her mouth latched onto his neck and she bit lightly before trailing kisses along his nape.

  Between Derek sucking at his cock and Julia rubbing her body against his back, Scott had damned near lost his mind. He felt helpless to do anything other than quiver in mounting excitement. He forced himself to open his eyes. Derek’s head bobbed up and down between his thighs, the brown waves tangling between his fingers as he urged his lover on. Julia’s fingers were splayed across his chest, her index fingers brushing back and forth across his hard nipples. He reached back with his free hand to capture the back of he
r head and drag her around to his side so he could devour her mouth. She came willingly and mutual groans of pleasure were lost between them.

  Cool air hit his wet cock as Derek’s mouth disappeared and he all but whimpered at the loss. Tearing his mouth free from Julia he glared up at Derek, who now stood over him.

  “Back up,” he demanded. “Your arse is mine.”

  Scott lifted his eyebrows. “Don’t I get a say in that?”

  Derek gave a curt shake of his head. “Not this time.”

  He didn’t bother to argue the point. It only would have delayed the fun and he was enjoying this too much. If Derek wanted to be on top, he didn’t have a problem with it.

  Turning over, he wrapped an arm around Julia’s waist and hauled her up the bed with him, grinning when she squeaked in surprise. He dropped her back onto the bed, her head landing on the pillow, before he spread her legs apart and knelt on all fours over her naked body.

  Lowering his head to her ear, he growled, “Is this what you want, Julia? To watch me get fucked by Derek?”

  She opened her mouth but no words came out. Instead, she gave a shaky nod. She all but panted as she lay beneath him. Her breasts brushed his chest every time she breathed in. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip before delving into her mouth. She was all softness and warmth. Giving him everything he asked for and more.

  Behind him, he could feel Derek’s fingers spreading his arse cheeks, running one lubricant-covered digit along the puckered opening there. A couple of foil packets hit the bed to his left. One was already empty. A moment later, he felt the pressure of Derek’s steely hard erection pressing against him. He hissed in a breath, his forehead resting against Julia’s as he gave himself over to Derek’s care.

  It had been a while since they’d done this. There were so many ways they could pleasure each other and they liked to run the full gamut, so anal wasn’t something they indulged in often. When they did, though, it could be so fucking intense. Having Julia there, watching them like they were her favourite fantasy come to life, gave the experience an extra edge. He wasn’t sure how long he could last with her big eyes drinking them in like that.

  Inch by inch, Derek pushed deeper into his body and he shuddered with pleasure. Lifting one hand from the bed, he reached down to stroke his own hard cock. Smaller, more delicate fingers urged his away before taking their place. He groaned as she began to run her fingers along his length with firm, slow strokes. He bit hard into his bottom lip, trying his damnedest to concentrate on the pain there to keep from losing control.

  She rolled a condom down his length. His eyes shot open as she tilted her hips up toward him, using her feet to lever the lower half of her body off the bed. Derek thrust into him hard and he fell forward, his cock sinking into Julia’s hot, waiting body.

  “Holy fuck!” The shout tore from his throat as his body shook between them, flooding with unbridled passion. Every ounce of his focus locked on the connections between their bodies. He moved back onto Derek’s hard cock and forward into Julia’s tight channel. Over and over. They surrounded him, invaded him, made him insane with it.

  His eyes opened and he looked down into Julia’s face. Her golden hair was spread out around her on the pillow and her hazel eyes were wide and welcoming. While Derek’s hands gripped his hips, fingers digging into his flesh, Julia’s skimmed across his body with tenderness and affection.

  Everything about her was beautiful and generous and all he’d ever fucking wanted. He’d never felt this way about a woman. Words crowded into his mouth. His mouth opened and they lay there on his tongue, waiting to spill past his lips. He wanted to tell her. He wanted her to know.

  “I love you.” The rasp of Derek’s voice in his ear finished the thought for him.

  He was in love with her.

  Scott closed his eyes against the truth, even as his body began to pulse with his impending orgasm. He leaned down to kiss her open mouth, his hand wrapping around her chin to hold her so she couldn’t escape. He let the unspoken words fall silently into her mouth. There was no way he could say them out loud. Not when he knew she’d soon be gone from their lives. While she was here, though, he could pour his love into her with every kiss, every touch. That way, just maybe, she would always remember him.

  Julia shattered just as Derek gave a grunt and came inside of him, both of which triggered Scott’s own release. He drove into Julia’s orgasming body with abandon, coming and coming until he felt there was nothing left of him to give.

  Chapter 18

  Julia woke the following Saturday morning snuggled between two hard, male bodies. Early morning light filtered through the window, casting the room in an ethereal glow.

  Derek lay to her left, his face tucked into the crook of her shoulder. The steadiness of his warm breath told her he was still fast asleep. Scott was on her right. He lay on his side with one hand splayed across her lower belly. He was possessive, even in his sleep. Like he wanted to make sure neither of them slipped away from him under the cover of darkness.

  Her eyelids drifted down and she took a deep breath, drinking in their presence and enjoying this quiet moment with them before the day began. Between that breath and the next, she became aware of two unexpected truths. The first was that she had fallen in love—head over heels, rising soundtrack, fireworks in the midnight sky kind of love, with both of them. She loved them to the point where she couldn’t imagine having one without the other.

  The second realisation was that she had to leave.

  When this affair began, she’d honestly believed she could get away with it. She’d convinced herself she could enjoy this brief interlude of passionate abandon without consequences. Scott and Derek were deeply in love with each other, after all. It didn’t take a genius to work that out. She’d expected to quickly become the third wheel, once the novelty of the situation wore off. Only they had never made her feel that way. They made her feel like she belonged here with them.

  At the same time, they had never spoken any words of love for her and never spoken of their future, or her place in it. For all she knew they were fully expecting her to be out of their lives by the end of the weekend. After all, she had asked for this ‘adventure’ to last for as long as she was off work. She would start her new job on Monday. That meant they only had one, or at most two, nights left before they reached the prearranged expiry date on their relationship.

  She slipped out from under the covers, careful not to wake the sleeping men, and dressed quickly before escaping to the living area. As her gaze darted around the large space, she realised just how much of her stuff had made its way into their apartment over the past two weeks. Her books were stacked on the coffee table. Her phone was charging on the sideboard, tucked in beside theirs. A pair of her sandals sat by the front door. It seemed they’d managed to all but move her in without her noticing. Then again, maybe she hadn’t wanted to notice.

  Did they want her to stay?

  Her heart leapt with joy, but at the same time her head shouted a stern denial. Even if they did want her here, staying was totally out of the question. She was a responsible, practical person, and responsible, practical people did not embark on serious relationships with more than one person at a time. The idea was ludicrous.

  Moving quickly about the room, she began to gather her belongings and pile them on the dining table. The small suitcase she’d used to bring her clothes over at the start of her holiday was tucked into the walk-in-wardrobe back in the bedroom. There was no way she could get it out without waking Derek and Scott. She’d have to grab it later.

  “What are you doing?”

  Her head snapped up at the sound of Derek’s voice in the doorway. She stacked the last of her books onto the table, refusing to look at him as she replied, “I think it’s time for me to start getting my stuff together. I start work again on Monday and I’ll need most of the weekend to get myself sorted. I’ve barely been home since I’ve been on holidays. I don’t think I have a single e
dible thing left in my fridge.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Yes.” She forced herself to meet his gaze. “It’s time.”

  “But it’s too soon. We were supposed to have until Sunday night at least.”

  She shook her head, heart aching. Apparently he hadn’t forgotten she was supposed to be out the door tomorrow. It didn’t matter. Extending her time with them was not going to get them out of her system. She realised now they would be a part of her forever. Even one more night would only make leaving hurt that little bit more.

  “Well, fuck,” he said in a disgruntled tone.

  “We’ve already done that. A lot.” She forced her lips to curve into some semblance of a smile. “Now it’s time to move on.”

  “But we had plans for this weekend. Things we wanted to say to you.”

  Her breath caught and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. “Like what?”

  “Like asking you to stay.” He came forward and took her face between his hands. Leaning his forehead against hers, he pressed a kiss to her mouth. “Please, Julia,” he whispered against her lips. “Don’t go.”

  Her eyes slid closed as her hands covered his, revelling in his gentle caresses while she could. Tears filled her eyes, but still she forced out the words. “I have to leave.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this doesn’t make any sense,” she cried out, pushing away from him to throw her arms wide. “What we’re doing here, it’s not—” She caught herself before she said the word, but it was too late.

  “Normal,” he finished for her. She looked away, ashamed of the hurt she saw in his eyes.

  “You think there’s something wrong with us because we want to be with you as well as each other. Is that it?” His tone was bitter, edged with a disappointment that cut deep into her.