Our Little Secret (Finding Forever Book 1)

by Rebecca Raine

  First thing Monday morning, Julia strode into the front office of her old workplace with Scott at her side. She was determined to be there when Scott changed his life, and so she’d arranged to take the morning off work in order to accompany him. She only hoped that this would help to repair the rift in Derek and Scott’s relationship.

  Despite the uncertainty surrounding her visit, Julia was overwhelmed by a strange feeling of nostalgia as she passed through the doors. It had only been about two months since she’d finished working here, but already she felt like a completely different person. That woman had been restless, confined by a life of so-called normalcy that had never seemed to fit quite right. Now her days were so full of life and vitality it was like she saw the place with new eyes.

  When they reached the reception desk, Scott asked the woman if Derek had arrived yet. She affirmed that he had. Julia saw Scott’s shoulders drop, just a fraction. Her own relief was harder to conceal and she released a long sigh, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face. Scott asked the receptionist to make sure that every employee was in the conference room for a short meeting in five minutes time. The woman eyed them both suspiciously, but headed off to do as she was asked.

  Julia squeezed Scott’s hand. “Are you ready?” she asked.

  “Yes.” Scott looked down at her with a nervous smile of his own. “Surprisingly.”

  They walked down the hallway together and Scott turned off into the conference room. Julia continued on to Derek’s office. She knocked on the door and then waited a moment before entering.

  He rose from his chair, a surprised smile on his face. “What are you doing here?”

  “You’ll see. Come with me.” She took his hand in hers and guided him to the conference room. Through the glass wall they could see there were already more than a dozen people inside, settling themselves into chairs. There was a quiet murmur as each person asked the others what was going on, though no one had any answers. Julia stepped out of the way, gesturing for Derek to precede her into the room.

  With a quizzical frown, he took a few steps inside and then froze, his gaze locked on Scott where he stood at the head of the table. Julia rose onto tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “Go to him, Derek. He needs your support for this.”

  Derek’s head turned so he could look her in the eye. His jaw had dropped open. “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”

  She nodded, a huge grin on her face.

  In a daze, Derek turned and made his way to the other end of the room.

  As she watched him, she felt someone take hold of her arm. It was Amber. “What the hell is going on?” she asked. “And what are you doing here?”

  Julia smiled at her friend. “I’ll tell you all about it over coffee,” she told her. “Which we’ll be having as soon as this meeting is over. I’m kidnapping you for an hour. It’s all arranged.”

  She turned back to the front of the room just as Derek reached Scott’s side. When he saw him there, Scott visibly relaxed. Then, in front of everyone, he clasped Derek in a tight hug. Derek stiffened at first, but then his arms came around Scott and he hugged him back. It was the first time anyone in the room, except Julia, had ever seen them touch each other in any way.

  The entire room fell into a shocked silence.

  Chapter 27

  “Congratulations,” Amber said as they sat down at a corner table of their favourite cafe half an hour later. “Apparently you were right all along.”

  “About Derek and Scott being gay?” Julia couldn’t help the smug grin that made its way onto her face. “I told you so.”

  Her friend just rolled her eyes and laughed. “You really did. I can’t believe they announced it in such a formal fashion. When we were called to the conference room out of the blue I thought we were all about to get fired.”

  “Oh no.” Julia cringed. “I didn’t think about that. Sorry.”

  Amber’s eyes narrowed at her words. “That’s another thing,” she said. “How do you fit into all this?”

  Julia took a sip of her latte, stealing herself for the conversation ahead. Scott’s courage this morning had inspired her. He’d made a short, informal speech to apologise for deceiving everyone about his relationship with Derek and to announce they were a couple and always had been. He told the group if anyone wished to leave upon hearing the news, he would be happy to provide a reference and there would be no hard feelings. Then he turned to Derek, declared his love for everyone in the room to hear and planted a firm, but brief, kiss on the other man’s smiling lips. Julia was pretty sure the cheers and clapping could be heard at the other end of the building.

  The day was still young, and the news hadn’t reached the construction sites yet, but as far as she knew no one had tended their resignation. In fact, from the chatter she’d heard in the lunchroom on the way out, she’d begun to think she’d been wrong about being the only one who had known they were together all along. It seemed everyone had been keeping the same secret from everyone else, all out of respect for the privacy of employers they liked and respected. The outcome had been better than any of them could ever have hoped for.

  Now, Julia was determined to step up, and try some bravery of her own.

  “Well,” she began, “the thing is, it turns out they aren’t quite as gay as I thought.”

  “What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure I just heard Scott Mason announce exactly that to a room full of people.”

  She couldn’t blame Amber for being confused, she just wasn’t sure how to say it. She tried again. “I’ve recently discovered there’s only one person in the world Derek and Scott will allow to come between them.”

  Her friend leaned closer, eyes alight with curiosity. “Who?”

  Julia took a deep breath and blurted the word out. “Me.”

  Amber’s gasp had people two tables down glancing their way. “Holy crap, Julia. Did you try to split them up?”

  “No!” This time it was her reaction garnering attention.

  “Then what?” The other woman was getting exasperated now. “For heaven’s sake, woman, spit it out.”

  She was trying. This was a hell of a lot harder than she’d imagined it would be. “I’m sleeping with them,” she said quietly, right before she covered her mouth with her hands. Amber was the most liberal, open-minded person she knew, which was why she’d chosen to tell her first. Still, she wanted to see how her friend took the news before she said anything else.

  Amber sat in stunned silence for a long moment, before she asked, “With both of them?”

  She nodded, hands still firmly in place.

  “At the same time?” Amber clarified, her voice rising.

  Another nod.

  “Wow.” Amber looked like she was about to fall off her chair, if she didn’t launch out of it first. The grin she wore stretched from ear to ear and her eyes were so wide it was a wonder they didn’t pop out of their sockets. Then she giggled like a teenager and whispered conspiratorially, “What’s it like?”

  Relieved to see smiling where there could have been a frown of disapproval, Julia finally relaxed, her hands curling under her chin. “Un-freaking-believable. That’s what it’s like.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” her friend frowned in mock indignation. “Just how long have you been involved with your two incredibly sexy lovers?”

  Julia grinned as she admitted, “Do you remember just before I left the company and you and I had that conversation about how I should do something exciting with my time off?”

  “Oh dear God,” Amber said, bursting out laughing. “This is what you do with my sordid advice? Seriously?”

  She shrugged. “Well, you did suggest having a fling with a handsome man.”

  Amber rolled her eyes. “Yes, but I didn’t think you’d take two, you greedy wench.”

  “I know, right?” Julia added, as they laughed together. “I couldn’t seem to help myself.”

  “I won’t pretend I’m not totall
y jealous,” Amber said once she’d composed herself. “But I’m so glad you’ve been having fun. It’s about time you did.”

  And now it was time for the most important part of the conversation. “That’s the problem,” she said, “we’re not just having fun. It’s not a fling.”

  Oh, dear. She was going to start worrying about Amber’s eyesight if her eyes got any wider. “You mean it’s serious?”

  She nodded, her gaze focused on the latte that was rapidly cooling in front of her. “I’m in love with them, Amber. And they love me.”

  They sat in silence for a minute, though Julia could see Amber’s mind working overtime as she considered the repercussions of this new development.

  “What are you going to do?” Amber asked at last.

  She shook her head. “I have no idea. How the hell am I supposed to tell my parents about this? They’re going to think Scott and Derek are taking advantage of me or something.”

  “Are you sure they aren’t?” When Julia raised her eyebrows, Amber held up her hands. “Hold on, just hear me out.”

  Julia knew her friend was concerned about her and she appreciated that. “Go ahead,” she said.

  “I just think it would be easy for a woman to get mixed up with two extremely attractive men who exploited her and called it love.” Amber paused for a moment, as if to let that statement sink in, before she continued. “I want to make sure this relationship is right for you.” She looked down her nose at Julia, narrow-eyed and pensive. “Are they treating you the way you deserve to be treated?”

  Julia smiled, knowing she could put her friend’s fears to rest. If there was one aspect of their relationship she wasn’t concerned about, it was how Derek and Scott treated her. The three of them had their rocky moments, she had to admit, but she’d never doubted their respect for her, or her place as an equal. “They treat me like I’m the final piece in a puzzle that makes us all complete.”

  Amber’s serious demeanour melted into romantic goo. “Awww. That sounds amazing.”

  “Yeah. It really is,” she agreed with a nod. “But... ”

  “But what?”

  “But everything else.” She threw her hands in the air. All her doubts and worries bubbled up inside her and she let them out, grateful to have someone to talk to who wasn’t involved in the situation. “This isn’t what I expected, Amber. I’d be taking a monumental risk to consider going ahead with this. It’s not just about the plans I’d made for my life, or the expectations of my parents. This goes against what our entire society expects. I never even rebelled as a teenager. I conformed. I did what everyone else did. That’s just the kind of person I am.”

  “Apparently not,” Amber interjected with a snort.

  “Amber, this is serious.” Julia groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She’d believed she would feel better once she told someone. Instead she felt more confused than ever.

  “Listen,” Amber said, “the way I see it this is not about rebelling or conforming to anything. It’s about love, Julia. And choosing the life that will make you happy.”

  Julia looked up at her friend. “I wish it could be that simple.”

  “Who said anything about simple?” Amber asked. “You had simple and you hated it.”

  She couldn’t deny that was true. Dissatisfaction with her own life was the exact thing that had prompted her to accept Derek and Scott’s offer in the first place.

  “The only question you should be asking yourself is this: Do they make you happy?”

  “Yes.” There was no hesitation in her answer.

  Amber shrugged. “That settles it. You’re doing what makes you happy and you’re not hurting anyone. If the world doesn’t like that, it can go hang.”

  Julia smiled, grateful to have her friend’s support. Now she’d experienced this conversation once, and survived, she wondered if it would be easier to tell her parents. That was when she realised she did have every intention of telling her parents, no matter how much she squirmed with discomfort at the idea. Two incredible, generous men loved her, and she had to believe her parents would see that and be okay with it. She would be risking everything, she knew, but Derek and Scott were worth it. She would not be giving them up—not for anyone.

  Maybe she was something of a rebel after all.

  Chapter 28

  Julia used her key to let herself into Derek and Scott’s apartment. It was after eleven at night and the place was silent, though they’d left a light on in the living area so she had no trouble seeing where she was going. Locking the door behind her, she left her bag on the dining table and headed straight for the bedroom.

  She’d walked Amber back to work after their morning tea, and told the two men she had something to do after work but she would come to their place after she was done. They’d been disappointed. Now they had reconciled, healing the one aspect of their relationship that had been a sore point for both of them, they wanted to celebrate with her. She’d been insistent, however.

  Their relationship with each other was just as important to her as the one she shared with each of them, and she believed they needed some time alone to reconnect. Added to that, she actually did have something important to do and she needed to do it on her own—the sooner, the better. Now she’d completed her mission, she was glad to be home. That’s what this place had become for her, she realised. This was her home.

  She entered the bedroom, careful not to make any noise, though a laugh threatened when she saw the amount of clothing strewn on the floor. Normally so neat, the mess they’d left was a telltale sign of their eagerness to get their hands on each other once they reached the privacy of the apartment.

  Scott was asleep, but Derek sat up the moment she walked in. He flipped on the bedside lamp, squinting his eyes at the sudden brightness. “Hey,” he whispered. “I was wondering when you’d get home.” He looked sleepy and gorgeous and she was glad to see that cheerful grin of his firmly back where it belonged.

  She toed off her work shoes and removed her jacket with a grateful sigh before crawling onto the bed, still clad in a filmy white shirt and fitted black work pants. She settled down cross-legged between Derek’s outstretched legs. “How are you?” she asked.

  “Now you’re here,” he said as he reached his arms around her, “everything is perfect.”

  She slid her hands around the back of his neck and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  He pulled her with him as he lay back down and she followed, until she lay beside him on the bed, her head resting on his chest. For a few minutes they lay like that, enjoying the comfortable silence. His hand stroked the length of her bare arm in a soothing manner. Then, he said, “I want to thank you, Julia.”

  Frowning, she raised her head to look at him. “What for?”

  “For what you helped Scott do today. I was never able to do that for him, no matter how much I wanted too.”

  “It was knowing he could lose you that did it,” she said, shaking her head. “Not me.”

  “You were there for him, for both of us, when we needed you most. I don’t know if we would have made it through this without you.” His voice cracked as he spoke, his arms tightening around her.

  “Yes, you would,” she assured him. “It might have taken a bit longer, but Scott would do anything for you, just as I would.”

  “All I know is, you make us stronger. We’re so lucky to have you in our lives.”

  The sincerity in his eyes as he spoke made her heart swell with pride. “I love you, Derek.”

  His mouth stretched into a broad smile and he sank further in the bed so their faces were level. “And I love you.” He spread one hand against her back to press her closer before sliding it down her body to wrap around the back of her knee. He dragged her leg up over his hip as his mouth joined with hers. Their kisses were sweet and lazy and delicious.

  Just as their breathing began to deepen, a rumpled voice came from beside them. “You’re wearing e
ntirely too many clothes.”

  They parted, laughing at Scott’s blunt assessment of the situation. “I’ll remedy that in a minute,” Julia said. Rolling onto her back she reached one hand over to cup his cheek, enjoying the feel of his stubble rasping across her skin.

  He pressed a kiss into the centre of her palm before nipping at the heel of her hand with blunt teeth. “Let me help.” His fingers immediately went to work on the buttons of her shirt.

  “Not yet.” Laughing at his eagerness, she pushed him away and sat up, turning on the bed until she faced both men, legs crossed in front of her. “Before you make me forget how to string a sentence together, I have to tell you something.”

  Scott dragged himself up into a sitting position, his back resting against the bed head as he pouted at her. “Please, tell me it’s nothing bad,” he rumbled, voice still husky with sleep. “I can’t take any more drama.”

  “Actually, I think you’ll both be pleased with me,” she told them with a secretive smile. That got their attention. “I told my parents about us,” she blurted, hoping like hell they would be as happy about the news as she was.

  They sat gaping at her and she could have laughed out loud at their matching expressions of shock. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  They both moved at once, pulling her between them as though to provide a protective cocoon. “How did they take it?” Scott said as he placed a hand on the small of her back. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine. Really,” she assured him, knowing he feared the worst. “In the end, it was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be.”

  “You mean they were fine with it?” Derek asked, incredulous.

  “No, they were most definitely not fine with it.” She smiled as she remembered the horror on her father’s face when he’d first comprehended what she was saying. The swearing that followed had lasted at least half an hour. “My dad threatened to kill both of you—multiple times.”

  “Fuck,” Scott groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m so sorry.”