Unbroken

by Donna K. Ford

  “You have my phone number. You know where I live and where I work. If you really wanted to talk to me, you wouldn’t have to look in a bar.”

  “Hmm, you’ve got me there. Let me make it up to you.”

  “Go away, Calvin.” Peter said. But his voice wasn’t angry—he sounded hurt.

  Jackie pushed close to Peter and extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Jackie.”

  The cowboy took her hand and smiled. His grip was firm but not challenging and his eyes were glacial pools of blue surrounded by a boyishly handsome face with dimples punctuating his glowing smile. Oh, boy, Peter’s in trouble here. This guy is heartbreak material.

  “I’m Calvin. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jackie.”

  Jackie nodded. “The thing is, Calvin, I’m not sure my friend here is up for company right now. Would you mind giving us a minute to chat?”

  Calvin pursed his lips and studied Jackie as if he were sizing her up. She held his gaze with a smile of her own. Finally, Calvin stood and shook his head. “No problem at all, ma’am.”

  He placed his big hand on the back of Peter’s neck, leaned down, and whispered something Jackie couldn’t hear. Peter glanced at Calvin and watched him walk away.

  “Want to tell me what that was about?”

  Peter downed the rest of his drink. “I’ve known Calvin since we were kids. I’ve been in love with him since we were sixteen, and he knows it. Sometimes he likes to pretend he loves me back.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Peter shrugged. “Old story. Nothing we need to worry over tonight.” He set his glass down on the bar and played the glass back and forth between his fingers. “What about you? Anyone special?”

  An image of Kayla instantly flashed in Jackie’s mind. She shook her head. “No. I don’t think that’s in the cards for me.”

  Peter turned his head to the side and looked at her. “What does that mean?”

  Jackie shrugged. “Nothing.”

  “Well, if she does find you someday, do me a favor and don’t be an ass and blow her off.”

  Jackie knew Peter wasn’t really talking about her. She could see the pain etched in his eyes, and she knew it came from loving someone who didn’t love him back. That was a pain she was familiar with and it was exactly why she had closed that door to her heart.

  “No worries.” She bumped her beer bottle against his empty glass with a loud clink. “How about I buy the next round?”

  Peter smiled. “Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”

  Jackie laughed. “Uh, no way, partner. But you could use a little loosening up and I don’t want your aunt to think I’m bringing you down.”

  Peter signaled for two more drinks and went back to his food. Jackie glanced around the room and saw Calvin watching from the fire pit. By the hungry look in his eyes she doubted he had to pretend about loving Peter, but something obviously stood in the way. She wondered what Calvin was afraid of since he clearly wanted to be with Peter. She understood that sometimes the thing you ran from the hardest was the thing you needed the most.

  Jackie downed the rest of her beer to chase away her musings. She didn’t like to think about her past and she certainly didn’t want to think about the things she couldn’t have. Peter was a good friend. Tonight, that was enough.

  *

  Kayla lay on her back and relaxed as the heat of the towels warmed her skin and relaxed her tense muscles. Jackie had been quiet as she worked, and Kayla missed their friendly conversation. She noticed that each time she saw Jackie, she was more and more detached and somber, and Kayla was determined to learn why.

  The faint knock at the door sent her heart racing. She followed Jackie with her eyes as she moved around the room.

  “How are you feeling?” Jackie asked without looking at her.

  “I feel good. Every day seems to get a little better thanks to you.”

  Jackie smiled. “That means you’ve been doing your homework.”

  Kayla smiled in return. “Religiously, I don’t want a repeat of what happened.”

  Jackie didn’t respond but Kayla felt her fingers stiffen and still as they moved along her neck.

  “Have I done something to upset you?” Kayla asked.

  Jackie went back to the task of removing the pads from Kayla’s shoulder. “No, of course not. Why do you ask?”

  “You seem distant. Quiet. I get the feeling that you’re a million miles away this morning. And the last two weeks you’ve seemed, I don’t know, angry with me or something.”

  Jackie stopped what she was doing and stepped in front of Kayla. She placed her hands against the treatment table at Kayla’s sides and met her eyes. “I’m not angry with you.” She sighed. “I just thought it best if we kept things between us professional. I’m a little sensitive about the addiction thing and I let that show. I’m sorry.”

  Kayla placed her hand over Jackie’s and ran her thumb along the inside of Jackie’s wrist. “You shouldn’t have to apologize for your feelings. I take it you’ve had to deal with addiction before?”

  Jackie looked away. Kayla’s touch was soft and her voice was comforting, and Jackie couldn’t stop the storm of memories that flooded her mind.

  “You could say that. My father was an alcoholic and not a very nice man.” Jackie wasn’t sure why she told Kayla about her father, but she needed Kayla to know. Her nerve endings felt raw and exposed and Kayla had somehow reached inside her and pulled out her truth.

  “I’m sorry. That must have been very hard for you.”

  Kayla’s voice was little more than a whisper. Jackie closed her eyes and pulled away. The gentleness of Kayla’s touch and the sympathy she heard in her voice were too much, and she felt as if she might fly apart if she didn’t put some distance between them. She didn’t want Kayla to see her weakness…her pain.

  “It was. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable.”

  Kayla clasped her hands in her lap. “You didn’t. I mean, I was just concerned.”

  Jackie needed to regain control. She didn’t like to think about her past and she never talked about it to anyone, and this was not the place to start. “Okay, back to work. I need you to stand and face this corner. Place your hands on the adjacent walls and lean in as far as you can, like you’re trying to put your nose in the corner.”

  Kayla raised one eyebrow. “Seriously?”

  Jackie smiled. “I’m afraid so. Go on.”

  Kayla sighed. “I know you’re changing the subject, but thank you for telling me about your father.”

  Jackie scrambled to regain control of her defenses. She didn’t understand this sudden need to share her secrets with Kayla, a client, a woman who was little more than a stranger. But she had been drawn to Kayla the instant she saw her walk into the bar that first night. Kayla shook her up, confused her, and made her feel things she didn’t want to feel, but craved.

  “Try to do three sets of ten for now and then rest.”

  Kayla did as she was asked.

  Jackie was relieved to be back on safe ground. What was she thinking, telling Kayla about her father? She never talked about him. She didn’t even like thinking about him. No one in her life knew about her past, and the more distance she put between her and those memories, the less she had to admit to her failures.

  “Jackie?”

  Jackie jumped, startled out of her thoughts. “Sorry, you caught me daydreaming.” Jackie handed Kayla a small length of latex tubing. “Now I want you to put this behind your head and pull, like this.” Jackie demonstrated the movement.

  When Kayla raised her hands and tried the maneuver, Jackie closed her hands around Kayla’s and guided her until she was certain Kayla had it right. Kayla’s hands were soft and smooth, and Jackie held on longer than necessary just to have an excuse to touch her.

  Kayla grimaced and Jackie’s stomach flipped in a rush of fear. She paused, her face only inches from Kayla’s. “Did that hurt? Where’s the pain?”

  Kayla
’s breath caught as her body warmed at the contact of Jackie’s touch. Jackie was so close she could feel the heat mingle between their bodies. She shook her head. “It’s nothing. It’s just a little stab between my shoulders. I’m okay.”

  Kayla averted her eyes but she could feel Jackie’s gaze on her. The moment Jackie placed her hands over hers, her entire body had responded. Jackie smelled like fresh rain and summer flowers, and it had been all Kayla could do not to breathe in the tantalizing scent. The last thing she needed was for Jackie to see the arousal that had caught her off guard.

  Jackie loosened her grip on Kayla’s hands and lengthened the tube. “Try again.”

  Jackie’s voice was husky and it grated across Kayla’s already frayed control like blunt fingernails scraping across her skin. If she didn’t put some distance between them soon, she was going to do something that would be a clear violation of Jackie’s professional boundaries.

  As if reading her mind, Jackie let go of her hands and stepped away.

  Kayla wrapped the latex tube around her hand to keep from reaching out to touch Jackie. Jackie’s eyes were dark as if a storm was brewing in their depths. Kayla recognized the vulnerability in Jackie’s withdrawal after her revelation about her father, but now a new emotion had surfaced, and Kayla was as drawn to the feral look of desire as she had been to Jackie’s willingness to share her pain.

  “Take that band home with you and add it to your daily exercises along with the corner stretches. You should see a significant reduction in the pressure behind your shoulder blades with these moves. I’ll see you again in a week, but we can only continue these sessions for a couple of more weeks without a doctor’s referral. You’ll need to see your physician to see if she wants you to continue.”

  Kayla was stunned. She had expected the treatments to end, but hadn’t been prepared for it to happen so soon. “I don’t know. What do you suggest?”

  Jackie took her hand and smiled reassuringly. “You’re progressing well and there haven’t been any new symptoms. It wouldn’t hurt to see your doctor, but as long as you keep up your exercises, I think you’ll be okay. If you experience any worsening of the symptoms, you can always see your doctor and get the referral to come back to see me.”

  Kayla was relieved to know she could still reach out to Jackie if she needed her. The thought surprised her and she realized how much she had grown to rely on Jackie in the short amount of time she had been in therapy. Kayla felt a sense of security wash over her when she saw Jackie or felt her reassuring and confident hands working to heal her.

  “To be honest, I’m a little afraid. This whole mess rocked me more than I thought it did, and I’m not used to people taking care of me.” Kayla focused on the comforting warmth of Jackie’s hand holding hers. It felt nice. And in two short weeks Jackie would be gone and the wild stirring in her blood, her body, her dreams, would quiet again, and her life would return to its normal routine. “But I think I’ll be okay on my own.”

  Jackie smiled and squeezed Kayla’s hand. “All right then, I’ll see you next week.”

  Kayla nodded. She followed Jackie to the front desk and took the appointment card.

  “Thank you.” Kayla wanted to say something, anything to keep Jackie talking…anything to prolong the contact between them. She knew Jackie had work to do and she needed to get to work herself, but she felt rooted to the spot, unable to make the separation. She opened her mouth to say something, but just as she was about to speak, her cell phone rang interrupting her before she could add anything more.

  “See you next week,” Jackie said, turning and picking up another file.

  Kayla reached for her phone. She was being ridiculous. She would see Jackie next week, and when their sessions ended, perhaps they could be friends. Kayla glanced back and watched Jackie disappear into an office. She had seen Jackie’s vulnerability, her fierce desire to protect, and her caring tenderness, and she had experienced Jackie’s impulsive, carefree, flirtatious side too. She had never been more attracted to a woman in her life.

  Chapter Five

  It had been three weeks since her last session with Jackie. Kayla had remained professional with Jackie through the final visit at her office and told herself it was best if she didn’t pursue anything personal with her. She thought that time would diminish her infatuation and allow her to return to her normal, orderly, predictable life. But what had once been comfortable and secure had become dull and lonely.

  Kayla stared at the numbers on her phone. After an eternity she closed her eyes and pressed call. Just as she was about to hang up, she heard the line connect and Jackie’s silky voice answered.

  “Hello, Jackie Phillips speaking.”

  Kayla panicked and thought about hanging up. In a rush she just started talking. “Hi, Jackie, this is Kayla McCormick—”

  “Kayla?” Jackie interrupted. “Is everything okay? Is your neck giving you trouble again?”

  “No. No, I’m fine. I just…” Kayla had no idea what to say next. “Uh, well…” Kayla felt foolish and embarrassed. “That’s not the reason for my call. When we first met you asked me to call you.”

  “And you didn’t,” Jackie said pointedly.

  “Yeah, well, a lot was going on then. I think I know you a little better now. Is it okay that I called?” Kayla was glad Jackie couldn’t see her. She was pretty sure her face was about to burst into flames and her stomach was about to revolt.

  “No. I mean, yes. I’m not sure actually. Things have changed.”

  “I know.” Kayla paused. “Am I too late?”

  Jackie laughed. “I guess that depends on why you’re calling. I was under the impression that I’m not exactly your type.”

  Kayla couldn’t think of what to say. She cleared her throat and stammered a moment before managing to regain the power of speech. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

  “Wait, don’t hang up.” There was a moment of silence before Jackie continued as if she was listening to see if Kayla was still there. “There was obviously a reason for your call. What was it?”

  Kayla scrunched her eyes closed and shook her head, mentally kicking herself. There was no turning back now. She had come this far, so she might as well go through with it. “I thought maybe you would like to have dinner with me tonight.”

  “You want to have dinner…with me…tonight?”

  “Well, yes. I know this is short notice—if you can’t make it, that’s fine.”

  “I guess I could do dinner. What did you have in mind?”

  Kayla was happy at first, but her relief was quickly replaced by panic. Part of her had expected Jackie to have other plans or to have some polite excuse to say no. She wasn’t prepared for her to say yes. “Do you like Italian food?”

  “Sure, but I don’t get off work until six. Is that too late?”

  “That’ll be fine,” Kayla said with a slight squeak in her voice. “Give me your address and I’ll pick you up. Is seven okay?”

  Jackie didn’t answer right away. “I look forward to it.”

  Kayla was oddly pleased with herself. Did that just happen? Had she just asked a woman for a date? She shook her head in disbelief. I have a date. Her skin tingled, her heart pounded against her rib cage, and she was both excited and terrified at the same time. It would be a miracle if she got through dinner without having a heart attack.

  As the workday drew to a close Kayla’s excitement grew. She had just enough time to rush home, shower, and get through the ritual of going through everything in her closet and having nothing to wear, and still get to Jackie’s on time.

  Her palms were sweating, her heart was racing, and she couldn’t take a deep breath without coughing. She was breaking all of her own rules. She didn’t do casual dating. And if her first impression was right, Jackie was the casual type. But she wanted to believe there was more to Jackie than that. She had to find out. She pulled on her favorite pair of jeans and a red button-down that was cut to show just the r
ight amount of neckline leading down to reveal the subtle roundness of her cleavage. She checked herself in the mirror and brushed a wayward strand of hair away from her cheek. That should do it. Satisfied, she smiled to her reflection. “I’m ready.”

  *

  Jackie ran her hand through her hair. A broad smile crept across her face as she stared at the phone. She had been certain she would never hear from Kayla McCormick after her behavior at the bar the night they met. It wasn’t unusual for her to be playful with women when she was out, but she hadn’t expected to like Kayla as much as she did. Then the weeks working with Kayla in therapy had allowed her a chance to get to know her on a deeper level than she was used to, and the idea of going on a date was new to her. She saw a lot of women, but she couldn’t say she dated them. Who cared how they started as long as the destination was the same?

  She liked the way Kayla put her in her place and hadn’t put up with her antics. But by the time she realized there was something different about Kayla it was too late to take back the way she had come on to her. Maybe she just needed someone like Kayla to shake her up a bit. Kayla wasn’t the type of woman she usually hooked up with, but there was something about Kayla that sent her pulse racing in a way no one else had. Kayla was intelligent, beautiful, funny, and serious. She was a challenge.

  Jackie could tell Kayla was hesitant about seeing her. She was certain there had been one point in the conversation when Kayla almost backed out. She still wasn’t sure why she had agreed to dinner, and she certainly couldn’t believe she had agreed to have Kayla pick her up at her apartment. She usually preferred to meet a woman in a neutral location, and then if things worked out she preferred to go to their place. It made it easier for her to make a quick exit instead of risking someone wanting to stay the night and getting the wrong idea there was a relationship in their future.

  This was going to be a first. She cleared away her equipment and still needed to wipe down all the machines before leaving.

  “Hey, Jack, can you come give this hand X-ray a look?” Peter called from one of the treatment rooms.