Unbroken

by Donna K. Ford

  Jackie cringed but couldn’t say no.

  “Sure.”

  By the time she was finished, she was cutting things close. She took a quick shower and had managed to slide on a pair of jeans when the doorbell rang. She pulled a T-shirt over her head on her way to the door. She looked at the clock. It was exactly seven. She blew out her breath. Her hands were shaking. What was up with that? She took another deep breath. Even if she didn’t feel confident at that moment, there was no reason to advertise it.

  *

  Jackie’s apartment was across town near the University Hospital. Kayla pulled into a space and studied the modern brick building with large windows and balconies overlooking the Tennessee River. The place was nice. She could imagine sitting on the balcony watching the fog roll across the cool flowing water. It was a warm evening and the air caressed her skin, raising the small hairs on her arms and face. Her skin tingled but it was more than just the breeze exciting her.

  Kayla focused on her breathing in an effort to calm her racing pulse as she raised a shaking hand and rang the doorbell. In moments she heard rustling on the other side of the door and then the click of the lock. When the door swung open her heart jumped. Jackie stood in front of her smiling broadly, her hair still wet from her shower. She was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and her feet were bare. The sight of her was enough to take Kayla’s breath away and her blood quickened with excitement. Jackie was even more beautiful in this raw exposure.

  “Hi. Come on in while I finish getting ready.”

  Jackie’s voice sounded unsteady and her words were rushed. Was she nervous? Kayla liked the idea that she could make Jackie nervous.

  “My shift ran over and I’m running a little late. Sorry.”

  Kayla stepped inside and glanced around the neatly furnished apartment. “There’s no rush. Take your time.”

  Jackie paused and her eyes roamed the length of Kayla’s body in a quick assessment. She smiled warmly and leaned in and kissed Kayla on the cheek. “You look beautiful.”

  Kayla could feel the heat creep into her cheeks and she looked away to hide her blush. “Thank you.”

  “Make yourself at home,” Jackie said with a wave of her hand toward the open room. “There’s beer and soda and other stuff in the fridge in the kitchen. Feel free to help yourself. I’ll only be few minutes.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Kayla looked around nervously. She couldn’t believe she was standing in Jackie’s apartment. What the hell am I doing? She could hear Jackie moving around in one of the rooms down the hall and she couldn’t help but take a sweeping gaze around the apartment to see what she could learn about Jackie by the things she surrounded herself with in her home. So far she appeared to be tidy, minimalistic, and an avid reader. There were books on almost every surface in the room, although tastefully arranged. Kayla peered at the titles, finding that each pile was arranged by subject. There were books on physiology on the desk by the window. A pile of books by the sofa were related to history. A shelf that encased the television was full of lesbian romance novels, and finally a smaller shelf in one corner housed science fiction and fantasy titles. It wasn’t what Kayla had expected, but she was pleasantly surprised. It appeared there was a lot more to Jackie than she had originally thought.

  Kayla went to the fridge and took out a soda. The refrigerator appeared even more minimalist than the living room. There were sodas but nothing diet, beer, and fruit juice, a carton of milk, and various vegetables and fruits. No condiments, no junk food, and no meat. Kayla wondered if Jackie was a vegetarian. The surface of the counter was completely bare. At first glance the kitchen looked like it had been staged. Kayla reprimanded herself for being intrusive and acting like a voyeur, looking into Jackie’s private world, and decided to wait outside.

  She took one last glance around the room and sipped her soda as she made her way out onto the balcony to watch the never-ending flow of water and a family of ducks playing along on the water’s edge. She had never seen the city from this side of the river bluff, and as she looked out over the cityscape, she was touched by the welcoming beauty of the modest buildings bathed in the fading light of the sun. Everything looked magical in this light. The sound of the door sliding open pulled her from her thoughts.

  Jackie stepped out onto the balcony. “Ah. There you are. What do you think of the view?”

  “It’s very nice. If I had a view like this, I’d be out here all the time.”

  “I am, when I’m home, that is.”

  Kayla turned and leaned one arm on the railing and looked at Jackie. She had changed her shirt and was now wearing a blue pullover with the university logo embroidered over the left breast.

  Kayla gestured toward the logo. “I take it you’re a fan.”

  Jackie shrugged. “Who isn’t?”

  Kayla smiled, taking in the warmth of Jackie’s eyes.

  “How’s your neck?” Jackie brushed her fingers against a spot on Kayla’s neck just below her ear. Kayla’s skin was warm and the blood rose beneath her skin at the touch.

  “Better. I still do the exercises and I can tell when it’s getting stiff now, so I stay just ahead of it.”

  “That’s good. You’re a good patient.”

  Kayla grimaced.

  “What? Did I say something wrong?” Jackie held her breath. She had never spent time getting to know a woman like this and she was sure she was blowing it.

  “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that tonight I don’t want to think of us as patient and therapist. I hoped this could be…less professional.”

  Jackie smiled. She liked the idea. Normally this would be the opening she looked for to make her move on a woman, but that didn’t feel right with Kayla. Kayla was gorgeous and sexy as hell, and Jackie was turned on by just the sound of Kayla’s voice. But something kept warning her not to go there.

  “You must have some pretty strict boundaries with clients in your work.”

  “Yes, I do,” Kayla said before taking a sip of her soda.

  “Well, technically you’re not my patient anymore and I’m not breaking any rules.”

  Kayla smiled. “That’s good to know.”

  Jackie shifted so that she looked out over the river and rested her elbows on the balcony railing. She could feel Kayla watching her and wondered what Kayla saw when she looked at her. “Speaking of work, you said you’re a therapist, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “What kind of therapist? I mean, what kind of problems do you treat?”

  Kayla’s expression became more serious. “Well, mostly I see people who have suffered some trauma or abuse. I help with things like anxiety, PTSD, phobias, depression, and a lot of other problems.”

  Jackie thought for a moment before responding. “I guess that explains why you always seem to be studying everything. You must see a lot of sadness in your work.”

  Kayla sucked in her breath. “Yes. It’s an emotionally heavy job. But I like helping people, and at some point we all need someone to talk to.”

  Jackie watched Kayla’s pupils expand and contract in response to her emotions as she spoke. Kayla shifted uncomfortably.

  Jackie smiled, breaking the spell. “I suppose you’re right. I know I like talking to you.”

  Kayla blushed and cleared her throat as she turned away. “Are you hungry?”

  Jackie laughed. “I’m starving. I can’t remember if I actually had a meal today.”

  “In that case, let’s get going. I have a nice little place picked out for us.”

  Kayla followed Jackie inside and watched her move around the room, admiring Jackie’s body while she wasn’t looking. Her jeans hugged her slender hips and thighs, hinting of strong athletic legs. The cotton pullover had short sleeves that gripped the round biceps of Jackie’s arms and her muscles flexed when she moved. Kayla liked the way Jackie moved. Her long limbs seemed purposefully controlled, as if she had spent years perfecting how to move her tall, lean fr
ame to demonstrate just the right amount of grace.

  Kayla led the way to the car and used the short walk to clear her head. But once inside the car, the space seemed too small. She was acutely aware of Jackie sitting next to her. She drew in a deep breath, pulling in the clean fresh scent of soap and something vaguely masculine that she couldn’t quite identify, but knew was unique to Jackie.

  Naples, the restaurant Kayla had chosen, was a favorite and she was excited to have someone to share it with. Once inside, she chose a table in the bar. She liked the small two-person tabletops with the dim lighting that seemed more intimate than the bright light and large tables in the main dining area. She liked the way the flickering gold flame of the candle in the center of the table danced and played with the colors of Jackie’s eyes.

  Kayla ordered wine and a plate of fried ravioli. Jackie decided on a beer and calamari.

  Jackie grinned mischievously. “Want to share?”

  Kayla bit down on her tongue and nodded. “Sure.” Did Jackie mean the sexual innuendo or was she making that up? She was letting her imagination get the better of her.

  “So, I couldn’t help but notice you have a lot of books in your apartment,” Kayla said before lifting her wineglass. “Very impressive,” she said peering over the rim of her glass.

  Jackie smirked. “Guess you didn’t expect me to be the intellectual type, huh?”

  Kayla grinned. “I admit it didn’t fit my first impression of you, but so far the surprises have been good ones.”

  Jackie raised her eyebrows in question. “Really? What other surprises have there been?”

  Kayla shrugged. “You came across impulsive and arrogant that first night. But since then you seem more…”

  “Civilized?” Jackie interjected.

  “Ha. Not quite that extreme, but in a way, yes. You seem more serious, thoughtful—I don’t know how to explain it exactly.”

  “Well, I hope you like what you see.”

  Kayla studied Jackie for a moment, contemplating her answer. She liked what she saw very much, maybe too much. “Hmm, I guess you’re all right.”

  Jackie laughed.

  The waiter appeared with the meal and Kayla watched Jackie’s expression as she took the first bite of her sea bass. Kayla knew it was the best in town, and she waited for the bliss to flood across Jackie’s face. She wasn’t disappointed. Jackie’s eyes closed for a whole three seconds as she worked the flavors across her tongue. When she opened her eyes, they were bright and alive with pleasure.

  “This is amazing,” Jackie said pointing to her plate with her fork.

  Kayla smiled, pleased by Jackie’s enjoyment.

  Jackie laughed and reached across the table to brush away a dribble of sauce that had fallen onto Kayla’s chin.

  The touch was tender and Kayla’s skin burned as Jackie brushed her finger lightly across her lower lip. When Jackie withdrew her hand and rested it on the table, Kayla watched her long fingers stroke the rim of her glass.

  The waiter came to clear the table. “Can I get you anything else, another drink perhaps or dessert?”

  “No dessert for me,” Jackie answered. “But I’d love another drink. Do you mind staying a while longer?”

  “No. That sounds good to me.” She turned back to the waiter. “I’ll have another glass of wine too, thank you.”

  Jackie studied Kayla as she talked, memorizing the shape of her lips and the hollow at the base of her throat. And the way she toyed nervously with the stem of her glass. Jackie studied the unusual color of Kayla’s eyes. They were a light milky brown, not the usual deep brown that made Jackie think of darkness. Kayla’s eyes were warm and Jackie liked the way they seemed to brighten and glow in the flickering candlelight. She enjoyed Kayla. She liked how Kayla didn’t let her by with anything and how Kayla paid attention as if what she thought mattered to her. That was new for Jackie, and she liked it. She didn’t really let people know her, but Kayla made it easy to talk and relax.

  Jackie reached a hand across the table and stroked her fingers across Kayla’s hand, taking only the tips of her fingers in her own. She brushed lightly across the smooth skin, never taking her eyes from Kayla’s gaze.

  “I’m glad you called today. I admit I wasn’t sure it was a good idea at first, but I’m enjoying this very much.”

  “Me too,” Kayla said with a faint smile, slowly withdrawing her fingers and lifting her glass to take a drink of her wine. Kayla looked at her watch. “I guess we should be going. It’s getting late.”

  Jackie’s attraction to Kayla had her body on overload. She had no doubt sex with Kayla would be amazing. As they walked out of the restaurant she took Kayla’s hand again. To her surprise Kayla didn’t pull away this time, but laced their fingers firmly together. Emboldened by the contact, Jackie snaked her arm behind Kayla’s elbow and rested her hand on Kayla’s thigh as soon as she settled into the seat of the car.

  Kayla’s hands shook as she reached for the ignition. She was very aware of Jackie’s hand on her thigh as she drove. The heat from Jackie’s hand warmed her skin, a pulse of arousal beat between her legs, and she ached for a more intimate touch. Kayla was suddenly unsure what she should do. She tried to convince herself that she could have a casual sexual affair with Jackie, but she already wanted to see Jackie again. Why couldn’t she just let go for once and go after what she wanted?

  Kayla mentally kicked herself. How did she always manage to guilt herself into taking the moral high road? What was so wrong with fulfilling her needs? What was so bad about just having sex? She knew the answer. She was looking for forever. She didn’t want a casual pass-in-the-night relationship. She wanted to wake up with the woman of her dreams. She wanted someone she could build a lifetime with, even if part of her didn’t believe that would ever happen for her.

  Jackie stroked Kayla’s thigh. “Will you come up and talk for a while?”

  Kayla took a deep breath. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” she answered.

  Jackie chuckled. “I promise to be on my best behavior. I just want you to see the view at night, and I’m afraid you’ll disappear again once you leave.”

  Kayla glanced at Jackie, who had turned sideways in her seat and was looking intently at her. She looked at the clock display on the dash. It was already nine thirty. “I have to work tomorrow.”

  “One hour,” Jackie countered.

  Kayla smiled wryly. “You’re very persistent.”

  “Only when I see something I want.”

  Kayla’s breath caught and she was thankful it was dark so Jackie couldn’t see her blushing. She had been doing that a lot tonight.

  “I’m sorry. Was that too forward?”

  Kayla was silent for a while as she struggled with her answer. What did it say about her if she said yes? Better yet, what did it say if she said no?

  “One hour, Kayla. Say yes,” Jackie whispered.

  Kayla nodded. “One hour,” she answered, letting out a long shaky breath.

  Jackie smiled and pressed her fingers into Kayla’s hand.

  Kayla tried to take her mind off the feel of Jackie’s skin. She focused on the road ahead and how she was going to get through this evening without losing her mind.

  Jackie’s voice broke through the stillness. “So tell me, what made you decide to call me tonight? I was afraid I scared you off.”

  Kayla chuckled. “I toyed with the idea after we met, and you did scare me. Then I ended up being your patient. Getting to know you a little over the past few weeks help me get over some of my first impression of you.”

  “What were you afraid of?”

  Kayla thought about her answer. She didn’t want to admit that the intensity of Jackie’s kiss had haunted her.

  “You’re very intense,” she finally said. “I guess I needed to prepare myself.”

  Jackie stroked Kayla’s hand. “I know I came on a little strong the night we met, but I promise I’m not usually so obnoxious.”

  Kayl
a smiled, relaxing into the seat of her car. “I admit I was pretty annoyed with you, but I think what upset me most was feeling like you were playing me.”

  “Ouch. That’s even worse.” Jackie pretended to be wounded.

  “You mean you weren’t trying to play me?”

  “No. I was just having a good time. I was caught up in kidding around with my friends and came on a little strong. But all I really wanted was to talk to you.”

  “Spoken like a true player.”

  Jackie grinned. “Okay. Tell me what you think a player is like.” Jackie was getting a little annoyed but it wasn’t because Kayla was wrong, it was because so much of what Kayla was saying was true about her life.

  Kayla laughed. “She’s someone who will say and do almost anything to gain someone’s interest so she can get laid.”

  “That’s what I thought you’d say. Now tell me how I fit that description.”

  “Ha,” Kayla scoffed. “The very first thing you did was kiss me and walk away, an act clearly designed to get my attention. Then you came up to me with an insincere apology and kissed me again, all a play to get an emotional reaction.”

  “So I was too forward.”

  Kayla laughed. “You came out with the confidence of someone who’s used to getting exactly what she wants.”

  Jackie appeared thoughtful for a few moments. “And by your description that means sex. Is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  Jackie raised one eyebrow and looked pointedly at Kayla. “Then why did you call me?”

  There it was, the question of the hour. Kayla knew her face had to be scarlet at this point. She was certain she would spontaneously combust at any moment. She couldn’t admit that the kiss had melted her defenses, leaving her hungry and wanting, and that Jackie’s caring over the last few weeks was more attention or affection than she had had in years. She had seen Jackie’s tenderness and her vulnerability along with her carefree lifestyle. The combination was like a spell that made Kayla want to break her own rules.

  Jackie leaned close enough that her breath brushed Kayla’s ear when she spoke. “Is that what tonight was really about, Kayla? Were you looking for—”