by Nicole Dykes
But being five days late is terribly unusual for me, so I forced myself to drive two towns over and buy the pregnancy tests.
“Maddie!”
I wash my hands and tear the door open, pushing past my sister who is full of attitude with one hand on her hip.
“What the hell, Maddie? There's only one bathroom. You’ve been in there forever. Logan really doesn't care what you look like, you don't have to prep for hours.”
I try to contain all my crazy emotions after finding out I am almost certainly pregnant and offer a simple apology, too tired to go head-to-head with my sister. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugs. “Pretty sure he's waiting for you down the road. I saw headlights.”
We have plans to go to a party with our friends, typical Friday night for us. “Thanks.”
She walks into the bathroom and stops, her eyes looking dreamy. “I can't wait to get a boyfriend to come pick me up and take me the hell out of here.”
I step closer to her, my hands resting on her shoulders. “Kayleigh, you don't need a man to get out. Trust me, just stay a kid while you can.”
Her eyebrows furrow, and she rolls her eyes. “What are you talking about? You have the world’s best boyfriend, and you two are fleeing far away from this shithole. Seems it worked out just fine.”
“I’m not with him so he can help me get out is what I mean.”
My sister is a dreamer. It scares me to think it, but I could see her using a guy to escape. Any guy, as long as he promises her the world.
“Whatever.” She brushes out of my hold and closes the bathroom door, dismissing me.
I make a note to address that further, grab my keys, and start for the stairs. I’m careful as I start down them.
My mom is working the night shift at the diner, where I’ve also worked since I turned sixteen, so I know she won't be a problem.
My dad, however, is passed out in the old ratty, blue recliner right beside the front door.
I carefully make my way down the stairs, cursing every single creak. When I reach the bottom step, I hold my breath as I tiptoe across the wooden floorboards and finally make my way to the door, prying it open as I look down at my father. He's dead to the world, his head tilted back while he snores away in the chair.
I walk out the door, clicking it quietly behind me and then make my way down the gravel road to where Logan is parked.
I hop in the truck and give him a quick pat as he puts the truck in gear and starts down the road.
My mind is going over every scenario as he talks about school earlier that day and how he can't believe this is one of our last high school parties.
He's going to be so shocked when I tell him, but I know him well. Logan Keller will step up. He’ll put all of his dreams for the future behind him, refuse to go to college, and go straight to work in the one thing he truly knows, the oilfield.
He'll never complain, but he will always wonder.
Me?
There's no way I’ll be able to go to school, at least not until the baby is grown. And by then, we'll probably have two or three more.
We'll buy a small house and drive shitty cars while we both scrounge and save just to keep our heads above water.
And the secret resentment will eat us alive.
A cold chill swirls throughout my body as I feel everything I've worked for, every dream I've ever had, slipping away.
Logan's old farm truck navigates up the winding gravel road and stops at the timeworn barn where high school kids in this town have been partying at for years.
“Misty and Garrett are already here.” Logan says with a smile as he nods his head toward Garrett’s classic Chevy truck.
We walk toward the barn, my hand in his, but I’m still in a fog I can't shake.
My best friend, Misty, spots me and runs over, a red plastic cup in her hand as she wraps her arms around my neck. “Thank God, you’re here. This party is a bust. Nothing but drunk, dumbass cheerleaders.”
I laugh as she pulls back, adjusting her strapless top so she's not exposing herself. She's not completely plastered, but it’s obvious she's had a couple.
Garrett and Logan greet each other in a more manly way. They nod, and Garrett hands Logan a beer.
Logan pops the tab and takes a drink as his attention turns to me. “You want me to find you something?”
He knows I’m not a fan of beer. “No, thanks. I have a headache.”
Lame excuse.
His eyes briefly show concern, but a group of guys from our class come over, capturing his and Garrett's attention.
Misty and I sneak away to a bale of hay nearby. She settles in, happily sipping from her drink. “Garrett's dad said we can take his car to prom, so we can all go together.”
Funny that this morning, my biggest concern was how we were getting to prom. “That's great.”
“Hell yeah, we have to have our last hurrah before you two abandon us.”
Misty and Garrett started dating a few weeks after Logan and I did. It happened naturally since Garrett was Logan's best friend and Misty was mine. When Logan and I became inseparable, Misty and Garrett went along with us and sparks soon flew.
They aren’t going the college route. Instead, Garrett's starting his turn at oilfield work, and Misty is staying on at the diner. “We’ll still see each other.”
Her arm wraps around me, the alcohol in her cup that's far too close is starting to make me gag. “I know, you and Logan will always have a place to stay if you want. As long as you don’t mind a couch.”
“What? You two couldn't spring for a two bedroom?” They just put down a deposit on a small house in town they’ll be renting right after graduation.
Christ, we may be moving in next door if I have this baby.
If?
I shake it off. I couldn’t have an abortion. I just can't do that knowing it’s Logan's child I’m carrying.
I’m having a baby.
I fight the tears threatening to fall.
She hugs me a little tighter, finishing the rest of her drink. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re right, we’ll still see each other. And you and Logan are gonna go and get all college-educated and shit.”
A tear falls, and I’m unable to stop it.
She squeezes my shoulder, trying to comfort me even though she's completely mistaken about why I’m crying.
“Hey, you want to hear something funny?”
I nod, wiping another tear away.
“Sarah called Shane a couple days ago to ask him to prom.”
Sarah Lane is the head cheerleader and a major bitch in our class. I turn to her, sniffing through my tears. “What? Why?”
Misty shrugs her shoulders. “She's always had a thing for him, as well as every other hot guy at school.”
“What did he say?”
She chuckles. “Fuck no. He's never coming back here.” Misty pulls her long blonde hair into a ponytail, sliding a hair tie off her wrist and into her hair. “She was shocked he wouldn't leave his adult life and come to a high school prom. I mean how fucking delusional can someone be?”
“How do you know all this?”
“She has a big mouth, and Garrett's been talking to Shane a lot lately. You know, getting some tips since they’ll be doing the same job and all.”
Shane.
God, I wonder what he would think about all of this.
Six
Logan
“Fuck, college boy. You going soft on me?” Garrett punches me in the arm as I reject the second beer as he tries to hand it me.
Garrett's been my best guy friend since we were placed on the same T-ball team at six-years-old. His dad works in the oilfield, and their family lives a couple of houses down from mine. When we discovered they lived so close, our moms started carpooling, and the rest is history.
Garrett is tough as nails, but definitely knows how to have a good time.
“I should probably go check on Maddie.”
He wraps his arm around m
y shoulder, nodding to where Maddie and Misty are sitting. “My girl has her.” He releases me, smacks my chest and hands me the beer, which I take this time. As I crack it open, he grins. “Shit, we’re gonna miss you assholes next year.”
I laugh at that. I’m gonna miss them too. “You won't have time to miss me. You’ll be up to your neck in oil.”
“Fuck yeah, I will!” He's grinning so fucking big at the thought. “I’ve been talking to Shane a little, getting some tips.”
I grimace at the mention of my brother and take a drink of my beer. “Oh yeah?”
Garrett shakes his head with his trademark crooked grin. “Relax. You’re still my favorite Keller brother. No need to get jealous, man.”
I roll my eyes. Fucker. “Good to know.” I take another gulp from my beer and then add, “But I’m glad you’re talking to him. When it comes to oil, my brother knows his shit.”
He just nods in agreement and then says out of nowhere, “I’m really fucking happy for you though, man. Going to college.”
I take a sip of the beer, my eyes back on Maddie. “Yeah, I know. Who would have thought?”
“Me. You were always way too smart for your own good. But you better not forget us when you’re famous.”
“I’m just going to college, man, not Hollywood.”
I take a seat on one of the bales of hay, and Garrett does the same on one across from mine. Around here though, going to college is almost unheard of. Nearly everyone starts working right out of school, which is what I thought I wanted, but lately I’ve found myself becoming excited about college.
I’m definitely majoring in business. But going through the brochure the other night in my room, I discovered all the possibilities of minors and even triple business majors, not to mention the projected salary from those degrees.
No one around here makes anywhere close to those salaries.
I smile as I see Maddie and Misty walking across the wooden barn floor to join us.
I’ll be able to give her everything she's dreamed of. And it’s all because of her.
Misty takes a seat on Garrett's lap, laying a big kiss on his lips as Maddie tucks herself under my arm.
“You okay?” I whisper it into her ear and feel her head nod against me, but she's not looking at me.
Something seems off tonight.
“Let’s dance.” Misty stands and grabs Garrett's hand. He downs the rest of his beer before obeying her request.
They leave, and I turn to Maddie, my fingers lifting her chin so she has to look at me. “What’s wrong? Your dad being an asshole again?”
I can't put my finger on it, but I’ve known her long enough to know something is wrong.
“No, he was passed out when I left.”
“Did you talk to your aunt?” Maybe she told her she couldn’t take the girls.
“Yeah. She's actually all for it if I can talk my mom into it.”
“Maddie, that’s great fucking news. Either way, the girls will be safe, and we’re out of here. So, what's up?”
She puts a smile on her face, but it seems forced as she stands up, holding her small hand out to me. “Nothing. Momentary worries passing through. But you’re right, it’s going to be okay. Now come dance with me.”
I stand, my hands resting on her hips. “Are you sure?”
Her lips caress mine. “Yes. Dance with me.”
I let her lead me to the dance floor, but I have a sinking feeling in my gut.
Something's not right.
Seven
Maddie
I park my mom's crappy car and stare at the tiny white house in front of me.
Prom is next week, so I had the perfect excuse. I told my mom I was going to the nearest town with a decent store to buy shoes, using the money I’d saved from working. I begged her not to tell my father, and tearfully, she agreed. She hates not telling him things, although she wants me to go to my senior prom.
Deep down, I know she's a good woman, but she’s totally blinded by her love of a worthless man.
In reality, I bought my shoes and a necklace for prom when I purchased my dress, but she doesn’t need to know that.
I take a deep breath and exit the car, praying for strength. I went to the free clinic a few days after I took the pregnancy tests, and they confirmed that I am, without a doubt, pregnant.
Today marks my sixth week according to their estimate. I haven't found the courage to tell Logan. And the closer we get to graduation, the more excited he becomes about leaving and going to college.
I can't take this away from him.
Keeping this secret from him has been hell, but nothing compared to what I know I have to do.
I walk up to the door and, with a trembling hand, I knock.
You can do this, Maddie. You have to.
Moments later, the door is pulled open, and I stare wide-eyed up at Shane.
He looks the same but different, harder somehow. His features are dark with a sharp jawline and dangerous eyes as he glares at me. His dark brown hair is shorter, and his arm muscles bulge as he crosses them over his broad chest. His jeans, boots, and tee are covered in oil, and it’s obvious he just came off a shift out on the rig.
“Maddie?” His eyes narrow, his jaw ticks with sharp irritation. “What are you doing here?”
“I need your help.” My voice is meek and desperate, and I barely recognize it. But I don't care, I’m here for Logan.
“You came to the wrong place. Why the fuck would I help you?”
He starts to close the door, but my foot cloaked in a pink flip-flop stops it. “Because no matter what happened between us, I know you still care about Logan.”
His hand runs over the stubble of his chin. I know he's trying not to give in; however, he can’t help but ask, “Is he in trouble?”
“Kind of. Can I come in?”
He huffs in irritation but moves his large body out of my way and lets me walk inside his small house.
I look around at the simple room that holds only a couch and a television sitting on a small table. I can see a kitchen and two doors down a short hallway from where I’m standing.
“This is nice.”
“No. It's not.” Shane plops down on the couch and looks up at me. “What's going on with Logan?”
I take a seat on the other end of the couch taking a deep breath. “I'm pregnant.”
Shane looks at me, horrified. His eyes dart to my stomach and then back to my face. “And you're telling me, why?”
“It's like I said, I need your help.”
“With what? I wasn’t fucking there when you got knocked up. We never got that far.” I force myself to stay put while he looks at me, his eyes accusing. “What? Is it not Logan's?”
“Of course, it is!”
He raises his hands and stands from the couch. “Sorry, you never know.” I fold my arms over my tummy, pissed off, but maybe I had that coming. “So, what the hell do you want? You think I’m gonna be the proud uncle? I’m not.”
“I can't do this.”
His eyes search mine in confusion. “He won’t let you not do it. I know my brother, if that's his kid he’ll step up.”
I stand up, standing toe to toe with Shane. “He doesn't know, and he can’t ever know.”
“What the fuck are you saying, Maddie? That you’re having an abortion?”
“No, I can’t.” Even though, God help me, I thought about it.
“Then what? Adoption? Because there's no way in hell he'll ever go for that. Logan has plans for a big family. He'll never be okay with someone else raising his kid.”
I know. I've gone over every scenario a million times, and there’s no denying it. There's only one way he will still get out of that town and go to college.
“That's why he can't know about any of this.”
Shane rolls his eyes, his disdain for me coming off in waves. “Logan’s fairly smart. I'm pretty sure notice it.”
“He has a full scholarship. He's going to colle
ge, Shane.” That gets his attention. “He has a real shot. He doesn’t have to struggle or risk his life.”
“He's going to school?”
I take a seat again and sigh, looking up at Shane, who is finally listening to me. “Not if he knows.”
“So, what the hell are you suggesting?”
“I'm leaving right after graduation.” My eyes fill with tears, and I feel sick to my stomach as I reveal my full plan. “And I'm giving the baby up for adoption.”
Shane looks as sick as I feel, and he sits back down on the couch. “So why are you telling me this?”
“I need you to sign the birth certificate and the adoption papers.”
His eyes snap to mine, fury brewing within his. “Are you completely insane?” He jumps up angrily. “Fuck that. You want to sign away Logan's child without him ever having a choice, leave the certificate blank.”
“No.” I hop up from the couch and walk to stand directly in front of him again, my eyes anxious and pleading. “I can't do that. There can't ever be any question. I need it completely final and done with no loose ends. The name on the birth certificate is what matters.”
“So, get someone else to do it.”
I shake my head. My hand grips his forearm, and I beg with sheer desperation, “There's no one else. I need you to do this. I know you love him like I do. I know you want him to get out of there.” Shane stepped into the father role when their dad died, and he always pushed Logan, telling him he had greatness in him.
He shakes his arm, fleeing from my grasp. “No fucking way.”
“You're okay with him turning into my dad? Or yours? Buried six feet under? Pissing away all of his potential?”
I’m now cornered between him and the wall, his large body blocking mine. “Maddie, I won’t do this.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I don't push him away. “He is the most important thing in the world to me. I can't do this to him.”
“You can’t tell him that you’re pregnant, a situation you both got yourselves into? And you’re leaving him with no explanation while secretly giving his child away? You're cool with all that?”
